History Repeating Itself
by paramagic310
Summary: A/E to Breaking Dawn. The Volturi attack and lives are lost. Now 20 years later Alice meets her singer in another school. Will she take the same chance she encouraged Edward to take with Bella? Or will Jasper's memory hold her back? Alice/OC
1. prologue

(Beginning A/N: Sorry, I'll try not to put many of these. They annoy me too. Anyway, this story will begin in the last chapter of _Breaking Dawn,_ but will not end the same way. Obviously not for Team Jasper fans…sorry. I'll post the prologue and chapter 1 to see if there's any interest in this story so review if you're interested. This is my first attempt at FF, so please be gentle.)

Prologue-Alice's P.O.V.

I was riding an emotional high, the smirk I was wearing evident to everyone else that I was pleased. And why shouldn't I be? Jasper and I had done it. We had saved our family! My plan had worked to perfection. We had slipped away from our family, leading them to believe we had abandoned them, searched the Amazon for Nahual thus proving there was another "half-breed" like Renesmee, and made it back in time for him to bear witness to the Volturi. I was giddy with excitement!

I looked at Jasper, my happiness radiating off me to him as I strolled into the clearing. Jasper, the love of my life…my soul mate…my other half. Gods, I love that man! He wasn't looking at me, concentrating on the enemy before us. Not that I blame him. He had been a soldier as a human, then a mercenary most of his vampire existence. Everything was okay now. Edward would have his forever with Bella. They both would have their daughter. We would have our family. I couldn't be happier.

Of course, that all changed in an instant the moment Aro once again asked if some of us wished to join them. The ones with gifts: Edward, Bella, Kate, Benjamin, Zafrina, Eleazar, Charles, Maggie, Jasper, and me. Of course we said no. Why would we agree? The Volturi were there to kill us.

Jasper sensed it first. Demetri, on some unseen order, lunged to attack the one closest to them- me. Nahual tried to intercept him, but was literally mowed down by Caius and burned alive. Jasper stepped between Demetri and me and paid the ultimate price. The Volturi slaughtered him, though not before he could take Demetri's head off. The scream that echoed across the clearing was heartbreaking. Even worse, I didn't know I was the one making it. Chaos ensued, not that I noticed. I only remember dropping to my knees, watching the pyre that was my beloved Jasper. Someone…or something…grabbed me during the fight and literally dragged me away. I found out later that it was Seth, one of the shape-shifting wolves. I hate him to this day. The losses were staggering: Rosaline, Zafrina, Tanya, Carmen, Kate, Garrett, Benjamin, Tia, and Liam. All were destroyed along with most of the pack. The Volturi were crippled, Marcus the only of the three leaders to survive.

Carlisle was the one who carried me back to the house. We were victorious, but there was no celebration. Vladimir and Stefan were destroyed in our front yard when they commented about "sweet victory". Emmett did it, the loss of Rosaline driving him mad with pain and fury. No one moved to stop him. Every coven had lost someone that day. I lost my light, my Jasper.

I didn't move for three days afterwards. I sat in the floor of our living room and sobbed. How could they? Why? Millions of thoughts ran through my head, fueling my grief. Carlisle, Esme, Edward, and Bella did their best to console Emmett and me but it was useless. My only movement came when the surviving members of the pack came to check on us. I attacked Seth. He had saved me when I no longer cared to live and I hate him for it. Of course they stopped me. "We've lost enough as it is," Carlisle said firmly in my ear. "Don't push your grief to another one's family." This only brought on another round of sobbing. Someone, Bella I think, picked me up and carried me to my room…mine and Jasper's room, which threw me into hysterics. "I'm sorry Alice," she whispered, carrying me to one of the many guestrooms we have at the house. I stayed on the floor for a week.

I ignored everyone, all attempts to get me to try to hunt or to talk or just to be around the family. It didn't matter…there was no point without Jasper. I couldn't even do what Edward was going to do when he thought Bella was dead. I couldn't go to the Volturi and ask them to kill me…they didn't exist anymore. My only prayer for death was to find an unknown nomad and pick a fight with them. But I couldn't. I literally couldn't force myself to move off the floor. I could only lie there, alternating between fits of uncontrollable weeping and a catatonic state. Even Renesmee couldn't bring me out of the room.

The worst was after seven days. After refusing all attempts by my family to hunt, they physically held me down and force fed me three pints of human blood Carlisle had from when Bella was pregnant. I kick, screamed, thrashed, and sobbed but it was no use. They weren't going to let me refuse to drink. I didn't even change clothes after they left me alone even though I was covered in blood. I hadn't changed since…well since the morning Jasper died. I did get up and pace the floor. Seeing my eyes red in the mirror brought on another fit of screaming and sobbing. They reminded me of Jasper's eyes when we first met…before we'd found our family and our place. I had no place anymore.

I couldn't leave the house, not that I wanted to. The red eyes would give away what I was. The family had a meeting downstairs a month later, after once again force feeding me. I didn't want to listen, but I couldn't help it. "Stupid vampire hearing," as Bella once said.

"We're going to have to move," Carlisle said gravely. "I agree," Edward replied. No one else spoke, so I'm assuming they were in agreement. "This is a…difficult time for all of us," Carlisle continued, "obviously more so for Emmett and Alice." "There are risks involved, but I'm thinking we should try Hoquiam first," he continued, "that way Bella can stay close to Charlie and Jacob can be close to Renesmee." He sighed. "I don't want to separate the pack any more than necessary…considering how much they've also lost." "Is that far enough away?" Esme ask. "I think so," Carlisle replied, "and it will be just temporary." "I don't think the children are in any shape to go to school right now." "When do we leave?" Bella ask. "As soon as we're ready," Carlisle replied, "hopefully by the end of the month."

Moving day was as traumatic as being force-fed. Once again I threw a fit. I had to. They were taking me away from everything that reminded me of Jasper. I didn't pack and I didn't help. I sat in my room with my arms folded across my chest while furniture was moved around me, forcing everyone to step over or around me. Emmett, who was surprisingly calm, was the one who drug me into Carlisle's Mercedes the day we left. I sobbed the entire ride, sobbed I was being forced to live my existence without Jasper.


	2. Chapter 1

I don't own _Twilight_. I've also never been to Moscow, Idaho. My apologies if I get something wrong about the town.

CHAPTER 1-ALICE'S P.O.V

_20 YEARS LATER_

Twenty years. Two decades. That's how long I've lived without Jasper.

One of the biggest things that has always been debated in our family is the question: Do vampires have souls? Carlisle, Esme, Jasper and I have always held out that we do. Edward, before Bella came along, didn't think so. Emmett and Rosaline were pretty much on the fence. I can settle the debate with Edward now if vampires have souls. We do. I know this because my soul is in Hell.

After Hoquiam, where we stayed for two years, we moved to New Hampshire so Edward and Bella could go to Dartmouth. I didn't even bother to sign up, much to Carlisle and Esme's dismay. I've changed. I don't dress up anymore. I don't shop…or fix my hair…or do anything I used to do. Honestly, I dress worse than Bella. Thankfully, no one pushes me on this anymore. Yeah, my temper's gotten worse too. Gone is the bubbly, optimistic Alice that Jasper knew and loved. That part died with him. We stayed in New Hampshire eight years. Edward played the med student and we moved back to the West Coast, staying in this small California town where he could intern at the local hospital. Don't ask me where… I don't know or care. I only left the house to hunt. Renesmee came of age and she and Jacob got married. Didn't have to be psychic to see that one coming. No, I didn't plan the wedding. What was the point? Renesmee left the nest and she and Jacob settled near La Push.

Anyway, after four years of Edward playing doctor, we moved to another hole in the wall town somewhere in Canada. Once again, don't know the name…don't care. There they did the whole high school thing again. We came up on the twentieth anniversary of "The Battle for Renesmee" as it was called and the family, minus me, decided on our next destination.

Moscow. Not Russia…Idaho. That's our next destination. Someone let Jacob pick and he thought the tip of Idaho would be somewhere we hadn't tried yet. Emmett likes it- the high school's mascot is the Bears. There are enough clouds, though we'll have to be careful in the summertime. I don't care. It's just another stop in my now pitiful existence. We should probably try somewhere cloudier, but there are only so many places in this world. Not that I care to voice my opinion.

I'm standing in 'my' room, pacing the floor and staring at the walls, my usual leisure activity. "Alice," Edward's voice says from the door, "we need to go get registered for school." I roll my eyes. "I don't care," I reply, "just sign me up for something." He smirks. "Alice, did you ever wonder if you would feel better if you made yourself live?" he asks. I snort. "I don't WANT to live," I reply sharply. "Tough," he replies, "because you're going to." "I'm not going to watch you waste away like I did at our last few stops." I fume. Like he was paying that much attention. He had Bella, Renesmee, and med school to keep him occupied. "I heard that," he said. _Stupid mind reader, _I think to him. He chuckles and sits on my bed. Someone made it up… not me. "Come here," he says, patting the edge beside him. I flop down beside him. "I know it's tough, Alice," he says sternly, "but you're going to have to snap out of it." I roll my eyes again. I've heard this speech before, from him and everyone else. "We all miss Jasper," he says softly, "not as much as you do…but we do." He then lifts my chin so we're eye to eye. Tough since he's almost a foot and a half taller than I am. "Would you want Jasper to see you like this?" he asks. _Low blow, Edward, _I snarl in my mind. He doesn't respond. "Come on," he says taking my hand, "we're going."

I stomp out to the car and sit in the back seat. Emmett is already waiting, sitting behind Bella. Looks like it's going to be us four this time. No one speaks and I stare out the window. I don't want to be here, not that Edward doesn't know that. I look down at my appearance. I've been wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a plain black t-shirt for the past week. My hair is pulled back in a small ponytail and I have no make-up. I couldn't care less. "We're all going to be juniors this year," Edward explains, "since we may have trouble with the weather, we're not going to be staying as long." I don't respond.

The school is dreary looking. Weather-beaten is a good word for it. We trudge into the office where Edward does the registering. I don't pay attention, only nodding when Edward looks at me like he's asking me a question. He gets us registered and gets us a schedule and a copy of the school map. This done, we hurry out to the car. "Alice, what would you like to do today?" he asks, trying to make conversation. I ignore him. He sighs. "Emmett?" he asks. Emmett sighs. "I'm guessing we have to do SOMETHING, right?" Edward smirks. Emmett then gets a sly grin on his face. "Let's see what the football team looks like," he says. Edward and Bella don't reply, but you can tell that's not what they had in mind. Emmett probably knows this and did it to annoy them. Emmett's always liked football.

I pout as Edward eases to the practice field. Jasper liked football. Not as much as Emmett, but he still liked it. I begin sobbing without warning. I used to give him a hard time about it. I thought it was boring. He would even stop watching it sometimes just to appease me and now I hate myself for it. Emmett crushes me against his chest. "It's ok, Alice," he whispers, "believe me…I know." I sob for a while. So long I didn't realize we had made it to the field.

I get out when everyone else does, afraid Edward would drag me out if I didn't. I've never seen practice before, only games. Emmett begins whispering to Edward about the "big dogs". That's what he… and Jasper… used to call the guys that controlled the action. "The field generals," as Jasper once put it. You can tell who the "big dogs" are on the field.

One, on the offense, is the quarterback. He's tall, 6'5" I'm guessing, with a lean but muscular build. The offense lines up and he swaggers to the line, licking his fingertips. The defense lines up and he squats behind the center. I have no idea why they do it that way. He barks his signals and the guy at the very end of the line turns and starts running closer towards the line. _Wide receiver, _I think, _he's a wide receiver._ The wide receiver runs behind the quarterback and gets almost to the other wide receiver on the opposite side when the ball is snapped. I watch, trying to keep my interest so my mind doesn't wander. The quarterback drifts easily back into the pocket, looks left, and throws.

The other "big dog" (I get mentally choked up using one of Jasper's phrases) is in the secondary, wearing number three. Quick as lightening, he breaks away from the man he's covering and leaps in front of the receiver. "Nice," Emmett comments, "I didn't even see him." I didn't either, not that I was paying _that_ much attention. He bobbles the ball for a moment, running the opposite way before securing it in his arms. The coaches blow the whistle as soon as he has possession, though he runs it all the way back to the quarterback. "Lost this," he mumbles as he plants the ball in the quarterback's gut, though I can hear him from where I'm standing. He's shorter, maybe 6'1"-6'2". I'm guessing though he's better built than the quarterback. "Damn shame, ain't it, Coach," he says to who I'm guessing is a defensive coach who slaps him on the butt.

I turn to ask Emmett why they do that… the butt slapping, I mean… when the wind changes and I freeze. Something smells wonderful. Mouthwatering. Better than anything I've ever smelled in my existence. I growl under my breath. I want whatever that is. It hits me like a freight train, venom pooling in my mouth so fast I'd choke if I needed to breathe. "We're leaving NOW," comes Edward's voice as he grabs my wrist. _No, _I think, _I WANT_! He doesn't let go. Emmett and Bella, not knowing what's going on right now, spring into action. Emmett stands in front of me and Bella grabs me by the shoulders. There are twenty-two players on the field…six coaches…and at least thirty other players on the opposite sideline. Yet I KNOW which one I want. I want number three. He's the one that smells so appealing. Emmett pushes me back and Edward and Bella pull, not stopping till we get back to the car. I struggle the whole way, the monster inside fighting with everything it has to get out. Emmett slams me into the rear door so hard he leaves a huge dent. Not that I feel it. The wind shifts, freeing me from that scent. "What the hell was that?" Bella asks, clearly in shock. Edward's jaw is taut. "La tua cantante," he replies gravely.

I sob uncontrollably the entire ride home, wailing like a banshee. I can't help it. It wasn't because I nearly killed that unknown boy, whoever he was. I'd never even seen his face, he never turned my direction and he had his helmet on the entire time. It was Edward saying "la tua cantante." Roughly translated Italian for "one who sings." What Aro had called Bella the day we rescued Edward from them. Anything remotely related to the Volturi…anything Italian… brought on this reaction from me. Emmett tried to comfort me, but I shoved him away and continued to throw a fit. _Jasper, my poor Jasper, _is all I can think. Edward winces at my thoughts, but I ignore him. Edward could have said "she smelled lasagna" to Bella… or "she wants Gucci shoes" and it would've had the same effect. I cry out in pain, my chest feeling like my dead heart may tear its way out, and I beat my fist against my leg. Emmett restrains my wrists and Edward steps on the gas harder.

I fly out of the car, into the house, and upstairs to my room as fast as my tiny legs can carry me, bawling like a baby the entire time. I slam my door hard enough to knock pictures off the wall in the hallway. I throw myself onto the bed, still sobbing. The frame groans in protest, but I ignore it. I hate this house- Jasper's scent isn't here. I hate this house and I hate myself.

Jasper sacrificed himself to save me. I should've been paying closer attention or gotten a vision or something. I know Jasper…even better than I know myself. I could almost read it on his face. Even burning, he only concentrated on killing one person. Demetri. Demetri was the tracker. No one would escape if he lived. That was why Jasper ignored Felix tearing off his arm and Caius lighting him on fire to behead Demetri- for me and for our family. This isn't fair… this world should not exist without my Jasper.

Esme comes into my room without knocking. "They told me," she says softly, sitting on the edge of my bed. I don't respond. "Alice," she continues, rubbing my back, "you do realize my heart is breaking along with you? We will never heal unless you do." I continue to ignore her. I don't want to heal. "Alice, listen to me." "It has been twenty years." "We know how much he meant to you…" "You know NOTHING." I scream, shocking myself. I've never screamed at Esme. "It's MY fault." She pulls me up, quite against my will and holds me to her. "It is NOT your fault," she whispers fiercely, "Jasper was an adult who knew the risks." "He made the ultimate sacrifice for you… and for us." "No one is saying to get over him…or even forget him." "But we want you to come back to us." "Please," she says, sobbing herself, "all we ask is that you live." I don't respond. Empty words for my empty heart.

Esme holds me for what seems like hours. We keep this position until there's a knock at my door. "Family meeting downstairs," Carlisle calls from outside the door. Esme sits up and pulls me to my feet. "I wonder what's wrong," she says absently. I shrug. I have no idea either. I hope they're not going to try another 'intervention'. The last one was back in Canada, before we moved here.

_The entire family was there. Also the rest of the pack: Embry, Quil, Leah, and Seth -the only survivors of the pack from the battle. "Alice," Edward had begun, "we've decided you need help." I crossed my arms across my chest. "Like what?" I asked. "This isn't healthy," he continued, "Jasper isn't coming back."_

_It ended there, before it even started. I screamed. I threw things. I used language that made Esme cover her ears and Bella stare at the floor. "I don't give a shit anymore," I screamed at them, "I don't want to be here… in this damn country… in this damn house… in this damn family!" "I want nothing except to join Jasper…can't you fucking understand that!" No one responded. "Do you think that's what he wants?" came a voice from behind me. Seth. "Or do you think he wants you happy and alive?" I snapped, leaping across the living room at Seth, who didn't even phase to protect himself. Leah did, so there were two women in the room that needed restraining. Another inch and I would've torn his throat out with my teeth, which would've been fatal. Vampire venom is toxic to him, not that I cared. Once I was restrained, I turned to Leah. "Let the bitch go," I snarled, my eyes black with hate. It was a bluff. Had she attacked, I would've dropped my hands and let her take me out. Edward must have known, because he made them take her outside. Once their grip was loosened on me, I ran back to my room and slammed the door. That was their last attempt at an 'intervention'._

Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, and Bella were the only ones waiting when we got downstairs. "We heard about your… situation… today," Carlisle began. I roll my eyes. Since when is my crying meeting-worthy? "Alice, this is serious," Carlisle continues, "your singer is at your school." Oh…that. I shrug. "Are we sure that's her singer?" Emmett asks. Edward nods. "I saw it in her mind…her reaction was the same as the first day I met Bella." I huff, angry at being the center of attention. "I can stay home," I suggest smugly. I have no desire to go to school anyway. "No," Edward replies, "she needs to be out…interacting with people." "Go to hell," I snarl. "Hush," Esme says sharply, "there is no need to be rude." I drop my head at being corrected. "Have you checked your visions?" Bella asks, "seen if it will be ok?" I huff again.

I don't use my visions anymore. Even when I get one, I ignore it and I sure don't try to 'see' anything anymore. What's the point? I know what tomorrow will bring- more pain. That, and when I needed them they were silent. "Please, Alice," Esme says hopefully, "at least try." They're not going to give up, are they? Edward shakes his head. He heard what I was thinking. "It would help us all tremendously if you would," Carlisle said gently. "It would help if you all would leave me alone," I reply sharply. "Tough," Edward says, equally sharp, "because you're going to school unless you have a vision that says otherwise." "Choice is yours." Seeing that I'm not getting out of this, I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. I'm not sure this is going to work, I haven't tried to "see" anything in two decades. To my surprise, my mind is flooded with a vision.

_I'm standing in a clearing in the woods, next to a pretty mountain stream. There is a boy standing next to me with read hair and beautiful blue eyes. It's raining, though I'm protected slightly by a nearby dead tree with what looks like the remains of a fire surrounding it. He crooks his finger to me, motioning me to come closer. I take a deep breath and comply. He takes my hand and pulls me against his body, leaning down to kiss me on the mouth. My leg bends at the knee as my foot raises up behind me, the scene like something out of a sappy love story._

"NO!" I snarl, coming out of my vision. Edward is sitting on the couch, leaning forward with a huge gawk on his face. "Absolutely not!" I yell, furious. Damn visions. First they refuse to work, now they show me THIS. "What is it?" Bella ask, clearly nervous. "History repeating itself," Edward replies softly. I growl at him. No way! No damn way! "Alice, what did you see?" Esme says softly. "I'm not going to school," I reply curtly, "someone will die if I do." Edward's jaw drops even further. "Alice," he says softly, "you're not serious." "Dead serious," I snarl, "if I go to school, I'll kill him." "Kill who?" Carlisle asks. "Do you remember what Alice saw when I first met Bella?" Edward replies. "The meadow vision?" Everyone's head nods but mine. "Alice has seen that…only with her instead of me." "That's NOT going to happen," I roar, leaping to my feet. I'm so angry right now that my vision is being taken over by a reddish haze. "I'm betting on Alice," Bella replies flatly. Edward chuckles, hearing the double meaning. "Alice, this is good news," Esme says, beaming at me, "you deserve this kind of happiness." "Happiness?" I ask, still seething, "it was a human!" "And your point is?" Edward asks.

Things go downhill from here. Carlisle and Esme can't stop smiling. Edward is smiling too, but it's more of a smirk. Bella is quiet, chewing on her lower lip. Emmett, to my surprise, doesn't say a word. His face is a blank mask. "Was that him?" he finally asks, "was that vision of her singer?" Edward shrugs. "I couldn't smell him," Edward finally replies, "and we didn't see the boy's face earlier." "He had a cute butt… her singer, I mean," Bella says. Every eye in the room turns to her. "What?" she asks, "he did!" "They all look cute in those pants," Emmett replies. He looks really thoughtful right now. "I'll kill him," I blurt out. "You'll do no such thing," Edward fires back. "Yeah…I will," I snarl. Mary Alice Brandon Cullen!" Esme snarls. I visibly flinch. She's never done that. "You will NOT kill an innocent human. That is NOT what you are!"

I turn and bolt back up the stairs, slamming my much-abused door once again. Bella is on my heels. "I'm not here to convince you of your vision," she says, holding her hands up in a gesture of surrender. I don't reply. "Can I sit?" she asks. I shrug. She sits on the floor, thoughtful. "I need to tell you something," she says softly, "and all I ask is you hear me out." I feel my teeth grinding together. "Please, Alice," she says sadly, "I need my best friend to listen." I roll my eyes and sit down on the edge of the bed. "I am not here to convince you," she goes on, "that this mystery boy is your new love. I just want to convince you not to kill him. You don't want that…we don't want that…and Jasper wouldn't want that. We love you, Alice… and killing an innocent human isn't what you are. You were the rock in your relationship with Jasper. He wouldn't want this and you know it."

She moves quickly to the bed and wraps her arms around me tightly. "Please," she says, "ignore him if you must. But speaking as someone who's been in his shoes, remember it's not his fault." I nod absently. "I'll admit, I think everyone is right and he would be good for you. I'm just not going to push it. Just please…let the poor boy live."

She gently kisses my cheek and leaves the room. I don't move the entire night, the vision playing over and over in my head. This sucks. Who is this boy? Is he the one from the football field? Who is he and what's he doing here? I don't want him. I don't need him. I huff. I need Jasper. I need the strong, brooding vampire that was the perfect match for me. The one I had a vision about decades ago… shit, why did I think that? I sigh. Regardless, Bella is right. This is not his fault. He doesn't deserve to die. I remember Jasper telling me about his former life. How he had helped train newborn vampires. How he had been forced to destroy them after they'd outlived their usefulness. It wasn't their fault either. No, I'll ignore him. For Jasper.


	3. Chapter 2

(A/N Thanks to everyone who's checked the story out. Tell your friends. Reviews are appreciated and usually responded to.)

**Just like everyone else here, I do not own _Twilight_. I do however own the mysterious redhead. He's not a vamp or a wolf, but he's ok for a human.**

CHAPTER 2-ALICE'S P.O.V.

I'm the last one ready in the morning. Words can't describe how much I'm dreading today. Just remembering the visions I once had the day Edward met Bella give me chills. I dress like I usually do: jeans, a back long sleeve t-shirt, and black Converse. I don't do anything more special than brush my hair, not even bothering to blow dry it. No make-up. I don't see a point. I don't even bother doing my nails anymore. Bella tried to get me to do them earlier this week, but I ignored her. This week has been even tougher than usual. Esme has been the most annoying, trying to get me to shop online with her or trying to plan my outfit for the first day of school. She's been happier, knowing what my vision was, than she's been in a long time.

The four of us load up in Edward's Volvo, though Emmett offers to drive the Jeep. Absently, I wonder where my Porsche is. I haven't seen it since we left Forks. Hell, I haven't even driven a vehicle since…well I can't remember the last time. Everyone's quiet on the ride. Bella and Edward are holding hands across the front seats. Emmett looks tense, but doesn't say anything. "We are in agreement?" Edward asks as we pull up in front of the school, "the boy doesn't die, Alice?" I huff, then nod. "I'll be tuning in, Alice," he warns, "so try to behave yourself." He looks at me in the rearview and I respond by giving him the finger. "Real ladylike," he grumbles.

The Volvo doesn't stand out much here. There's another one here, though it's an older model. Trucks and SUV's seem to be the more popular choice. I'm guessing the frequency of snow and the rough terrain on some roads make four-wheel drive a necessity. I glance at the school map and stuff it in my bag before swinging it over my shoulder. It's the only thing I'm carrying, I don't think I even own a purse anymore. We walk as a family through the side door and I turn towards first period English by memory. Most of the seats are empty, so I take the one in the back. It's the usual first day stuff: the teacher hands syllabus and textbooks out, welcome speech. I stuff the book in my backpack without even opening it. Absently, I scan the room. No smells other than the usual human aroma. I sit perfectly still and wait for the bell to ring.

"Hey, baby," comes a voice from behind me as I walk to Spanish. I turn around. It's the quarterback, I can tell from scent. "You're new, aren't you?" he asks. I look up and nod. "Blond, blue eyes…textbook high school heartthrob. "I'm Shawn," he says. Am I supposed to be impressed? "Alice," I reply curtly. Obviously Shawn falls into the category of "can't take a hint". "Alice," he repeats with a smile, reaching over to move a piece of my hair away from my face to tuck it behind me ear. I shudder in response. No one has touched me like that since… "Where you headed?" he asks. "Spanish," I reply. He looks disappointed. "Oh well," he replies quickly, "maybe I'll see you at lunch." He waves and turns, not waiting for a reply. I roll my eyes and head to my class.

The class is full, except for one empty seat near the back. Of course it would be next to that glorious smell I've been dreading. Shit. I immediately quit breathing, although my mouth is already watering. I hurry and sit down, hoping I can will the class to be over. Ok, I understand singers now. Wiping this entire class out and draining this guy dry sounds like a damn good idea at this very moment. I cross my arms and lay my head down. Hesitantly, I take a breath hoping my own scent will help mask his. Bad mistake, the scent is even worse. I swallow back venom, my mouth refilling as soon as I swallow. How the hell did Edward do it? I ball my hands into fists and peek at the source of my torment.

I was afraid of this. It's the boy from my vision, and he looks even better up close. He has dark red hair, a little long, but not as messy as Edward's. He's pale, but there's not a lot of sun here. Besides, don't humans with red hair usually have pale skin? He's facing the front of the room. He seems deep in thought, oblivious to the fact death is sitting less than five feet from him. His eyes, sapphire blue, are eyes you could get lost in. He's dressed simply: blue jeans, black boots, and a red and black Moscow High School baseball shirt. He's got muscles without being overly bulky. He turns slowly and looks at me and I freeze. He gives me a once over then smiles…only the right corner of his mouth coming up. Our eyes lock and I smile despite myself. Without saying anything, he turns and faces back towards the front.

Without the eyes holding me hostage, his scent resumes its assault on my olfactory system. My throat hasn't burned this bad since the day I woke up from my change. I grip the edge of my desk, fighting the urge to kill him right now. I remember Edward telling me about his first day with Bella. How he plotted ways he could slaughter the entire room, saving his singer for last. My throat burns like I haven't fed in a month. The boy, I still don't know his name, cocks his eyes in my direction. Seeing I'm drawing attention, I slowly release the desk, balling my fists up and dropping them in my lap. "Senor Willamson," comes the teacher's voice, "is there a problem?" "No ma'am," he replies, turning his eyes back towards the front, "no problemo." A snicker erupts from the class. He smirks, but doesn't look towards me again.

The period ends and I find Edward, Emmett, and Bella in the halls. "Edward, you are the strongest person I've ever met," I whisper, pulling him into a hug. He doesn't speak…only reading over what happened last period in my thoughts. "Nice work, Alice," he whispers in my ear, "and I promise it will get easier." "It would help if you spent more time with him," Emmett says with a suggestive nudge, earning him a smack from Bella. "Ignore him," Edward whispers in my ear, "you did fine." "Do you have any other classes with him?" "We didn't talk," I reply, "so I don't know." "You need to hunt tonight," he whispers, "your eyes are black." I nod, swallowing the leftover venom. Edward kisses my forehead. "You're doing fine," he whispers.

I don't see the mystery boy the next two classes, though Shawn is in my fourth period class. I don't see mystery guy until lunch. He's sitting with a large group of students, though he sits at the end of the table and eats in silence. "Hey, Alice," comes Shawn's voice, "want to sit with us?" I shake my head before he can get close and go to sit with my family. "That him?" Emmett asks. "No," Edward answers for me. "Good," Emmett says with a growl, "he looks like the pretty boy quarterback type." "He is," Edward replies, "with some really nasty thoughts." I groan, laying my head on the table again. "Your singer is looking at you," Edward comments. It figures he would be scanning everyone's thoughts. "What's he thinking?" Bella ask. "Probably wondering what the pixie looks like naked," Emmett comments. "No," Edward replies, "he's wondering if Alice is sick. He thinks she was acting a little funny in Spanish class." I groan. "Nothing perverted?" Emmett asks. "Nope," Edward answers, "surprisingly clean…just concerned." Edward then turns to me. "And to answer your question from earlier," he says with a grin, "his name is Patrick."

Patrick. Why did that name send a shiver down my spine? "It's ok, Alice," Edward says, "you're in control." "He's cute," Bella comments. I groan. "Seriously," Emmett chimes in, "if I was gay…I'd do him." I reach behind him and smack him, earning a chuckle from him. "Anyway," I ask, trying to change the subject, "what's the gossip about the Cullen family?" Edward's lips purse in concentration. "Nothing yet," he replies, "just the usual." I nod, sitting up. My eyes lock on the mysterious Patrick.

Patrick is looking straight at me, his gorgeous blue eyes boring a curious expression. My breath hitches involuntarily. He stares unabashedly, concentrating like he's trying to see into my soul. I gaze back, unable to turn away. He sees me looking and grins again, the same half smile as Edward. _He's beautiful_ I think…forgetting Edward is sitting right there. His face, fresh, is more man than boy without looking too hard. He has a little of stubble on his face, more a five o'clock shadow than anything. He leans back and crosses his arms across his chest, never breaking eye contact with me. We stare until the bell rings, signaling us to our next class.

I hurry out of the cafeteria, ignoring my siblings to get to my next class. Chemistry. I freeze outside the door, having a vision.

_We're inside the classroom with Shawn and Patrick squaring off, both with angry looks in their eyes. I'm sitting in my chair. It looks like they're about to fight. I stand up and grab Patrick's arm, pulling him away. He turns away, his eyes on me and Shawn shoves him from behind. He falls into the desk, catching a corner with his forehead. Blood splatters across the floor and I lose it, leaping to attack. Then it goes black._

I gasp as my vision returns to normal. What do I do? I can't let him get hurt. I also can't expose us. I've got to run. Too late, the teacher's seen me. I've got to do something. I peek in the classroom. Shawn is already there, but Patrick isn't. I look around. The table in the far-left corner, in the back, is open. Perfect. I turn and end up face-to-chest with Patrick. His scent is hitting me like a ton of bricks. He smiles, starting to go inside. "Hey," I say quickly grabbing his arm. He turns, surprised. "Sit with me?" I ask, trying to pour on the charm. He ponders, then shrugs. "Ok," he says softly.

"Alice," Shawn's voice flows across the room, "I saved you a seat." I ignore him. "Looks like she's my date this period," Patrick replies, a hint of irony in his voice. If I could blush I would. "That's a little out of your league," Shawn says, obviously not happy. "_She_," Patrick replies, "is just my game." He turns to Shawn and they lock eyes. "Next time start with 'hi'," Pat says evenly, "'hey baby' is way too cliché." The laughter starts from the other students at Patrick's comment. "Sorry," he smirks, obviously not meaning it. With that he turns and pulls out my chair. I sit down, too stunned to even say "thank you".

His scent is even worse sitting this close. _Mouthwatering_ is the word for the day. This was a dumb idea on my part…getting him to sit with me. "So you're Alice," he comments. I swallow thickly and nod. "Pat," he replies, offering me his hand. I pause, then slowly shake his hand. The skin on my hand hums at his touch. "Ignore Shawn," he whispers, a little too close to my ear, "he smells fresh meat and can't help himself." I roll my eyes. "You can talk, Alice," he mutters, "I won't bite." Oh, if he only knew. I turn away and swallow a quick breath, my throat still burning. "I'm sorry," he mumbles again, "didn't mean to invade your personal space." "It's fine," I reply a little too quickly, "thanks for sticking up for me." He smiles, and I can't help but smile back. Oh my God…that voice. "Shawn and I go way back," he replies but doesn't add anything. The class is called to order.

I'm going to kill him. It's just that simple. He's too close and smells too appetizing. No, I can't. My family. I wonder if I could get him alone. Yeah, that could work. I'll snatch him after school. Anything to quiet this burning in my throat. Gods I feel like I'm changing again. This is too much. Focus, Alice. I just have to get through the day.

Edward is waiting for me as I bolt out of the classroom. "You forgot I can hear you?" he asks in a low voice, grabbing my elbow. "We got a problem?" comes a voice from behind me. Patrick. Edward and I both turn around. "Does it look like Alice and I have a problem?" Edward asks, cocking his eyebrow. "If you don't take your damn hand off her, _you and I_ are going to have a problem," Patrick growls, raising himself to full height and rolling his shoulders back. If Edward were human, I'd be fearing for his life. I can see it in Pat's eyes. He's afraid, but willing himself to not show it. I can see his Adam's apple bob, literally swallowing his fear. His accent is more pronounced. "It's ok, Pat," I say quickly, "this is my brother Edward." Edward smirks and extends his hand.

Patrick doesn't even look at him, eyes locking on me for several seconds. I give him a small smile, trying to show everything's ok. "Sorry," Patrick finally says, taking Edward's hand. _Easy on his hand, _I think to Edward. Edward gives a slow nod, both as a response to Patrick and to me. "Alice and I were just discussing a…family matter," Edward lies coolly, "I apologize if it appeared I meant her harm." Patrick gives him a funny look. It happens at every school, Edward still talks like he did in the 1918. "Are you ok?" Patrick asks me. I nod, afraid to breathe. I can feel the heat radiating off his body and that makes him all the more appetizing. "We were just heading to class," Edward goes on. Patrick takes the hint, though one look tells me he doesn't like it. "I'll see you, Alice," he says softly, tucking the same loose strand of hair behind my ear Shawn did. His fingertips, warm and soft, make my skin hum though I keep holding my breath until he removes it. Unlike Shawn, the gesture is both intimate and surprisingly welcome. "Bye, Pat," I say in a soft voice as Edward leads me away. "Pat?" Edward asks me, smirking.

I break away from Edward and hurry to Geometry. Patrick is there, but there aren't any empty seats beside him. I spend the hour not breathing and clenching my teeth and fists, trying to not plan on ways I could feast on this beautiful creature. Patrick does look my way occasionally, but doesn't stare like he usually does. Once again, I bolt out of the class.

I _love_ that voice. Being a Mississippi girl originally and Jasper being from Texas, I picked up his southern drawl immediately. He's not from Texas…not "twangy" enough and he doesn't have the over syrupy sound of the delta. He sounds Southern without sounding all "You sure is a purty thang". I've heard a lot of accents in my lifetime so I try placing it. He sounds nothing like Emmett use to, so I can eliminate Tennessee. I'm guessing something in the middle between Emmett and me. Maybe Georgia or Alabama? Florida panhandle _maybe_. All I know is he can call me "sugar" anytime!

I get to Health and sit, thankful I can breath. "You're Alice," a girl with brown hair says, turning around to face me. I nod and give her a weak smile. "I'm Amber," she says. She has her hair pulled back in a ponytail, longer than mine. "Want some advice?" she ask. "Sure," I whisper. "Stay away from Shawn," she says quickly, "he's a jerk." I nod in agreement. Seriously," she goes on, "word is he's already after one of the new girls…and he's a complete dick." Note to self: Amber does NOT like Shawn. "Noted," I reply, "and judging from what I've seen, I agree with that assessment."

"How are you liking Moscow?" she asks. "It's ok," I reply. I give Amber a good look. She's cute…a makeover, she'd be a knockout. She reminds me of Bella with her brown hair and eyes. Amber is really dressed down in my opinion. "I've lived here all my life," she says, keeping an eye on the door for the teacher, "so if you need to know anything…I don't gossip, but I'll give you the facts." I nod. Well, if she's giving away information… "Shawn and some guy had an…exchange…last period," I say absently, like I'm trying to make conversation. "Patrick Williamson," Amber replies quickly, "there's a history there." "Really?" I ask. Why I'm interested, I don't know. Amber nods. The teacher comes in, ending conversation.

We're given a worksheet and told to pair up for it. "You and me?" I ask Amber who nods eagerly. "Anyway," Amber whispers, like our conversation was never interrupted, "Pat moved here in eighth grade." "Both him and Shawn were quarterbacks, but Shawn's been here his entire life." They got into a fight during practice freshman year…and Pat got kicked off the team." I gawk. "Why?" I ask. Amber shrugs. "Shawn's dad is important in this town," she replies. And Pat was the new kid. You know how it is." I nod in agreement. If anyone can understand being the new kid, it's my family. At one time we were the new kids every decade or so.

"But I thought Pat was on the team," I say, leading her. "That's the funny part," Amber says with a smile, "Coach Brooks…he coaches the defense…told him to try out his sophomore year. Told him he'd needed someone who could hit. Pat did and Coach Brooks put him at free safety. He couldn't say no, Coach Brooks is also the baseball coach and Pat plays second base." She shrugs. "Pat's a good athlete, and not pretty enough to be a quarterback if you ask me." "Not pretty enough?" I ask. She smiles. "Oh, he's cute," she replies, "but not in a girly-man kind of way." I giggle at that. "I've seen him play," she comments, "and he can hit like a wrecking ball. Good hands too…on the field," she adds quickly, "he doesn't date." "Why not?" I ask, confused. Usually good looking football players get their pick. "He always says he's too busy," she replies, "honestly…I don't think he wants to get tied down. He wants to go to college and get out of this town. Plus…well, he has other reasons. Not that I blame him regardless."

We chat and finish our worksheet the remainder of class. So the boy I had in my vision has a nice body, plays free safety (I would have to ask Emmett to explain), has a complete "fuck me" voice, and doesn't date. He seems like a good person. Too bad I'm going to feed off him. My mouth waters again just at the thought of it.

No one speaks as we drive home. I don't see Pat again. "Football practice, Alice," Edward replies to my thought. I nod, trying to keep my mind blank. "Brave young man," Edward comments aloud, "his instincts were telling him I was dangerous…but he ignored them. He was more interested in protecting you regardless." I nod absently. _I'm going to hunt when we get home, _I think. "I'll go with you," Edward replies. "No thanks," I reply harshly, "I need some time alone." "Don't do it, Alice," Edward warns, "you'll hate yourself if you do." I flip him off again, just like I did this morning.

I bolt from the car as soon as Edward puts it in park, hitting the woods as fast as my legs can carry me. I hope Edward doesn't follow, he's the only one that could catch me. I don't hunt. I just run…trying to keep my mind clear in case I'm being followed. I don't stop until I get to the practice field.

I squat in the brush, out of sight. I smell him immediately. He's wearing black football pants with all the pads in them with black cleats. He's shirtless and tossing a ball back and forth with another boy. My breath catches in my throat, but not from my thirst. He's gorgeous. Just as I'd suspected, defined without being _too _bulky. He has hair on his chest with a light trail down his stomach. He has a light dusting of freckles on his shoulders. He's yummy, and not in a food kind of way.

A coach calls them to order and he runs to pick up his helmet and shoulder pads, shrugging them on as he jogs. They work in individual groups and I see Pat across the field doing some kind of tackling drill. Nothing impressive, but it doesn't look like they're going full speed. They break from that and the coach starts lining them up…going over how they're suppose to line up against different formations. After an hour of this, several of the groups get together, including Pat's. I listen closer. They're doing a "three on three" drill. Three offensive guys line up to block against three defensive guys. There's another guy behind the offensive line with the ball and a defensive guy that looks set to try to tackle him. I see number three lined up in this position, though I can tell it's him by smell.

The coach stands behind the defense and makes a motion with his right hand as he barks a cadence. The linemen get into their stance and the whistle blows. I jump as their bodies crash together. The ball carrier runs the direction the coach pointed and makes it clear of the line. He makes it another two steps and tries to drop his shoulder. It doesn't work. Pat hits him like a battering ram, dropping him before he can go any further.

They do this several more times and Pat's tackle each time is clean, efficient, and brutal. The collision reminds me of when Emmett and Jasper would collide playing baseball. This thought saddens me. Pat goes and kneels on the sideline, getting a drink as I remember my love. Jasper. Twenty years and it _still_ hurts. The drill ends after six groups and a lot of yelling later and they break up to play offense versus defense. Shawn seems to be avoiding throwing anywhere near Pat and anytime the running back makes it into the secondary, Pat is on the tackle. I don't know much about football, but I'm impressed.

I duck as the players run by, doing laps. It looks like they're finishing up. Pat runs by and my mouth waters once again. I don't fight it this time, savoring his scent. He'll be mine soon enough. Pat finishes his run in the lead pack and heads to the locker room. Time to make my move.


	4. Chapter 3

**Don't own _Twilight_. I do however own Pat. Yes, I am willing to negoitate.**

CHAPTER 3-ALICE'S P.O.V.

I hide on the edge of the parking lot in the woods, looking for my target. Patrick comes out alone and gets in a beat up four-wheel drive truck that looks more primer colored than anything. I follow the truck quickly, cutting through the woods till he's out of town. Once he makes a curve I run a straight line through the woods and leap as he passes, landing in the truck bed so softly he doesn't notice. I lay flat, forcing myself to wait. I don't want him to wreck. I don't want a drop of that sweet blood to go to waste.

The drive isn't long, I'm just anxious. In my mind I'm plotting how I want to do this. Should I grab him once we've stopped or out of his house? I'll snatch him out of his house I decide, then take him into the woods. It's not his fault, so I will make this as painless as possible. I don't want him to suffer. I'll grab him then once I'm finished I'll make it look like an animal attack. I'll drop him in a creek or river, so his lack of blood won't be noticed. I lift my head slightly once we stop, his scent scorching my throat. Soon, soon enough.

I hear a dog barking in the yard. I can smell it and it can smell me. It's angry, though wary about going to the truck. Smart dog. Briefly I think of Seth Clearwater. I'd rather not have to kill the dog too…it would draw more attention if Pat and his dog disappear…but it would be sweet revenge in my book. Oh well… maybe next time. I hear voices in the house, then on the porch. "Yeah, Pat," comes a familiar voice, "it was no problem." _Amber?_ They're standing on the porch and I don't dare breathe. "Oh by the way," Amber says, "that new girl was asking about you. You know…Alice." "Yeah," he replies, "I have some classes with her." "She's cute," Amber says, obviously thinking out loud, "if she'd dress up, she'd be hot." _Look who's talking, _I think. "I'm not interested, Amber," Pat says firmly. "Bullshit," Amber replies, "if not, then why are you smiling?" I wish I could look up to see this. He's smiling? "Let it go, Amber," he says, his voice quieter. "Really, Pat," she pushes, "you're in high school. You should do more than play ball and drink beer. You should at least TRY to get laid." I catch myself before I snicker. "Like Shawn?" he asks. "No," she says quickly, "you're too nice. But you should at least get a date once in a while." "I'll think about it," he says, "now good night." "No you won't," she calls as she walks to her car.

I almost feel sorry for him. So he doesn't date. Speaking from experience (my last date was before Renesmee was born) I can understand her concern. I bet he'd be a good kisser. He has nice lips. And that stubble…I wonder what it would feel like against my skin…BAD ALICE! Time to focus. My throat literally feels raw just from swallowing all the venom I've produced today, never mind the actual burn I feel telling me I need to feed. My family is going to be pissed…Edward especially. Carlisle and Esme will understand after they fly off the handle. I mean, it's happened before. Emmett killed his singer. Edward's definitely going to be the problem. I mean, he fell in love with his. He'll be a smug bastard, I'm sure of it. I stay in the back of the truck till almost one in the morning.

I look up, the scene perfect for what I'm planning. It's pitch dark, no light on in the house, no moon. There's not even a streetlight…not that I need it. I ease towards the house, trying the room on the far left of the house. My nose leads the way to him. I examine it closely, then touch the window. I slide the screen out and push up gently against the window. It opens with no problem. All too easy. I leap through, landing softly. His scent hits me harder than it has all day, concentrated in his bedroom. He's stretched out, lying on his stomach with the comforter covering his lower body except for one leg peeking out. Heavy sleeper I notice. I lower into a crouch. I'll knock him out, then carry him into the woods…drinking before he regains consciousness. Like I said, all too easy.

A bump from somewhere else in the house breaks my concentration. The bump is followed by a quickening heartbeat. The dog? No, I smell another human. "Pat!" comes a high pitch scream that could only be that of a child. Thinking quickly, I dive out the window, pulling it shut with muffled thud and his door flies open. A little girl, about six, with blond hair comes running into the room, jumping onto the bed with him. "Pat!" she screams again, waking him with a start. "What's wrong, Tori?" he ask, his voice heavy with sleep. "I had a bad dream," she wines, "I dreamed something was going to get you." He pulls her against him. "No one's going to get me, Tori," he whispers, kissing the top of her head. "Because you're the Hitman?" she asks. He chuckles. "Yeah, Tori," he says sleepily, "because I'm 'The Hitman'." This seems to satisfy her. "Now get some sleep," he mumbles. "Can I sleep with you?" she asks, using the puppy dog eyes like I would use on Jasper. Clearly, she's got him wrapped around her little finger. "Sure," he relents, "let's go." She plops down beside Patrick and he wraps an arm around her. "Good night, Tori," he mumbles. "Night, Pat," she says, her eyes already drooping.

I turn at this point and run. What did I almost do? I almost killed him and took him away from that pretty little girl. I am a monster…there's no other word for me. I hurry home. I wonder who she is? He can't be older than seventeen, so I doubt it's his daughter. Sister maybe? What was I thinking? I used to tell Jasper, "it helps if you think of them as people." I forgot that. Ok, think Alice. What do I know about Pat? He has red hair and gorgeous blue eyes. His accent makes me want to purr like a kitten. He plays football and baseball. He drives an old truck. He doesn't date. And my skin tingles when he touches me. What? Where did that come from? He's only touched me once!

I hurry into our yard and bolt through the door. I'd planned on going straight to my room, but the entire family was waiting for me. "Alice," Edward says firmly, "what happened?" I fall to my knees in the middle of the living room, sobbing as I reply the entire event in my head. The tension is heavy in the room as Edward reads through my thoughts. "She didn't kill him," he says finally, "she did go to his house, but she didn't kill him." Everyone breathes a sigh of relief. I continue to sob, my entire body shaking. "It's ok, sweetie," Esme says, kneeling down to hold me, "you did the right thing." "I'm a monster," I wail, falling apart. "You are NOT a monster!" Emmett roars shocking the entire room. "You didn't kill him," he goes on, visibly angry, "I know how hard it is to not kill your singer…I failed…so if you let him live, you are NOT a monster. Please, if you value my sanity, you will NEVER say that again!" I flinch, still quivering.

"He's right, Alice," Carlisle says softly, "you made us proud." "Don't say that," I whine. "It's true," Edward replies quickly, "take it from experience…you did just fine." "But what if I can't keep it up," I say, turning to look in his eyes, "I need to leave." "No," everyone shouts at once. "Alice, you can't leave," Carlisle adds quickly, "in your emotional state…" he lets it drop. "Alice," Edward says gravely, "it's not like with Bella and I." "You can't go to Alaska… no one is there." "The only place you can go is back to Forks…and the pack." I growl viciously at this. There's no way in hell I'm going there. I love Renesmee and Jacob. It's the fact I would be around Seth and Leah that makes this impossible.

Edward, of course, read my mind. "So you see, Alice," he says, "I'm afraid your choices are limited." "Can't we leave?" Bella ask. "On this short of notice," Carlisle interjects, "with nowhere set to go…it would be difficult." I groan. "You'll be ok, Alice," Edward says, kneeling beside me, "just hunt a lot and keep your focus." "What about the other part?" Bella ask. "You know…the vision?" I huff at this. "One thing at a time," Carlisle replies softly, "let's concentrate on keeping this boy alive." "Patrick," I jump in, "but he prefers Pat." There's no reason to refer to him as "boy" anymore. "Then let's work on keeping Pat alive," Carlisle corrects. Is that a twinkle in his eye? "Any suggestions?" "Ignore him?' Emmett asks. "That didn't work for Edward," I reply, still sniffling. "You're not me," Edward replies, "besides, what else _can_ we do?" Emmett turns and looks at me. "It's either ignore him or keep climbing in his window," he says with a shrug, "whatever you decide."

"Ignore him," I say firmly, "it's all I can do." "Can you?" Edward asks, leaning back and crossing his arms across his chest. "Yeah," I say hesitantly, "why couldn't I?" He doesn't respond. "Edward," I say firmly, "yeah he's my singer. But he's a human…and he's NOT JASPER!" I scream at him. Esme hold me tighter against her in response. "No one is like Jasper," Carlisle says softly, trying to soothe me, "and while I refuse to meddle in the love lives of my children…" "What love life?" I snap. "Exactly," Edward snaps back, "although 'what life' would've been a better question." I growl, the sound rumbling from deep in my chest. "Alice," Bella says, trying to soothe me, "speaking from experience, you have four choices. You can leave…kill him…ignore him…or be with him. Three of those four choices are going to hurt him." "Ignoring him would hurt?" Emmett asks. Bella nods. "I remember when Edward did that," she says, her head dropping, "and I didn't know why it hurt…only that it did." She starts chewing on her lip again. "It's not the best solution," Edward says thoughtfully, "but if your mind's made up…you'll have to ignore him."

______________________________________________________________________

I began my plan the next day. "Hi, Alice," he said softly in Spanish. I gave him a nod, but didn't reply. I wasn't breathing and that voice has me feeling a tingle. He gives me a funny look, but didn't respond. Too bad Shawn doesn't get the hint. He follows me like Mike Newton used to follow Bella. The entire day went like this, Pat not even looking at me. The scent is still as bad as yesterday. At lunch, I sneak a couple of glances his direction. He stayed bent over his lunch tray, not talking to anyone. Amber was quietly subdued in Health. It was torture, but I made it another day.

I went hunting as soon as I got home, killing and drinking from four timber wolves. Take that, Seth! Bella looked on disapproving, but didn't comment. I ran straight home and straight up to my room. No one bothered me that night.

The rest of the week went like that. I kept my head down, my breath held, and tried to keep my fantasies at bay. ALL my fantasies. I was having two types. The first was killing him. I had hundreds of fantasies. Delicious fantasies. Everything from taking him right in class to right in his bed as he slept. The school parking lot. On the fifty yard line during practice. The woods. The boy's bathroom. Literally anywhere you could imagine…and believe me, I have an excellent imagination…I daydreamed of feasting on his blood. They always ended the same way though. No matter the scene, that little girl would always appear, tears streaming down her face at what I'd done. This hurt me.

The second type was even more painful. I daydreamed of him. Holding him. Kissing him. Touching him. Making love to him. They were always sweet, and delicious in a different way, but always left me hurting, though in a different way than my other fantasies. My heart, which I thought couldn't ache anymore since I lost Jasper, was beginning to ache again. Is it possible for an immortal being to go crazy? If so, I'm so there. I wonder if Edward heard these? If so, he kept quiet. What would Jasper think? I know what would've happened if it had been me lost, he would've found a way to join me. I'm such a coward.

The rest of the week passed exactly the same way. Pat either ignored me or did such a good job of pretending, I didn't notice. Amber, after being so cheerful the first day, became rather subdued. She still volunteered to partner up with me, but didn't press me for conversation. I got the impression she would rather I approached her. But about what? Has to be Pat. I know she knows him, she was at his house. I'm guessing she was watching the little girl…Tori…but I don't know for sure. Why do I even want to know?

"Because you have feelings for him," comes a voice from my doorway. Edward. It's Friday evening and I survived my first week. "What?" I ask, snarling. "I can hear your thoughts, Alice," he says softly, "and I've been where you are." "You don't know anything about where I've been," I continue to snarl. "You're attracted to your singer," he says simply, "I know something about that." "Bite me," I growl, leaping to my feet. "Alice," comes another voice behind him. Emmett. "Alice, you're not thinking clearly." "Here's your chance to find someone…" "I don't WANT someone," I interrupt, "I'm perfectly…" "NO YOU'RE NOT," his voice booms, startling Edward, "and you might not WANT someone, but you NEED someone." Damn, Emmett is on a yelling binge lately. He crosses him arms across his chest. "I don't have to be Edward to know what you're thinking," he goes on, "I can see it in your eyes when you look at him from across the cafeteria. No, you're not that good at hiding it." I gawk. "He's right," comes a third voice, pushing past the boys. Bella. "I've seen it too. I thought you would come to your senses on your own."

Edward steps into my room, putting his hand on Bella's shoulder. "Do you want to know what he's thinking?" I shake my head. "Yes, you do," Edward continues, moving to sit down on my bed, "because I can see it in your mind." _Stupid mind reader, _I think. "Exactly," he answers. "His mind is…jumbled. He is in a lot of pain, physically. I'm not surprised, humans can't throw their bodies around like he does and not expect to hurt." I frown at this. "He hides it well…especially from his little sister." "Tori," I say softly. Edward nods. "She is what drives him." Edward sighs. "I don't want to tell his story…I'd rather you ask him. Besides, I think there's probably more to it than I know." "What about…me?" I ask, shocked I voiced this out loud. Edward doesn't seem surprised. "He thinks you're playing games," he replies, "after you showed interest in him that first day in Chemistry, then ignored him the rest of the week. He's made inquiries about you…about us, though he's not suspicious of our secret. You're now the 'spoiled little rich girl'." He frowns at this. I grit my teeth and growl. How dare he think that! He doesn't know anything about me. "No, he doesn't," Edward replies to my thought, "he only knows the impression you left him with." This stops me cold. "You've gotten what you said you want," Edward continues, "you've ignored him and now he's ignoring you." "My question is: are you SURE that's what you want?" With that, he and Bella leave.

Emmett comes and sits beside me on the bed. "Just do it, Alice," he says softly, "here's you chance at happiness." I roll my eyes. Here we go again with the same old argument. "If I were you, I would kill to have what you have." Ok, NOT the same old argument. "What?" I ask. He bows his head in shame. "It still hurts," he says, fighting back a sob, "all this time without Rose. I hide it. I know if she could see me, she'd smack me in the back of the head and tell me to get off my ass and get over it." He pouts. "I swear if I had someone, maybe I could. You, Alice…you have that chance…and I'd kill to have it." I don't have an answer to that. I don't have an answer for what's next either. Emmett, the biggest, strongest, most terrifying of this family, wraps his arms around me and begins to sob. I've never seen this, and I've been with the Cullen's since the 1950's. Even with Rose's death, though I was so deep in my own grief I doubt I would've seen it anyway.

What do I do? I can't kill him, I can't ignore him, and I can't love him. Can I? I wrap my arms around Emmett as he continues to sob. Seeing him so vulnerable literally makes my cold, dead heart break all over again. "Would he understand?" I whisper in Emmett's ear. "Damn right he would," he replies fiercely, "I know he would." Jasper and Emmett were the best of friends before he died. If anyone on this planet knew Jasper, besides me, it was Emmett. "Your happiness meant everything to him," he continues, sitting up and wiping his eyes, though he didn't need to. "For you to not only be alive…but to LIVE. He did his part, Alice…he kept you alive…now you have to do the hard part. Live."

That made my mind up for me. I was going to see him. I couldn't wait until Monday. "Be careful, Alice," Edward said as I crossed the living room. I knew what he was thinking…regardless of my feelings, he was still my singer. I stop. "Is this safe?" I ask. He smirks. "You're the psychic," he mutters, "you tell me." I huff, hating to use my vision. However, in this case…

_I see me, sitting in a recliner at the edge of the room, watching him sleep. He's restless, muttering. I can't tell what he's muttering in his sleep. The moon is filtering in through his back window, framing him with moonlight. As beautiful as this vision is, I have to see it for real._

"I think so," I say as my vision snaps back to reality. He smiles. "Then be careful," Edward says, kissing my cheek, "and hunt before you get there."


	5. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4-ALICE'S P.O.V.

I took Edward's advice, ambushing a couple of mule deer on my way to Pat's house. I wasn't thirsty, but I felt caution was in order. The moon was out, just like in my vision. The dog, a blue heeler, came running out at me as I eased into the yard. All it took was me to snarl his direction to send him into a retreat, yelping like I'd set his tail on fire. I smirk at this. The screen is back up on the window, but I'm able to slide it down silently. The window is still unlocked. I take my last breath of clean air and nimbly leap into the room.

The scent his me hard, much harder than when I'm at school. I've been avoiding him, and the absence is making the monster inside of me fonder. I force myself to move to the corner, where an old tan recliner is sitting and I ease into the seat. Old, but comfy. I sit back and admire Pat from a distance. He's even more beautiful than in my vision. He's pale, though not quite vampire pale. He's on his stomach again, the covers kicked off the foot of the bed. His back, hairless thank the gods, is as muscular as the rest of him. He's wearing nothing but boxers and I let my eyes take him in. Bella was right, he does have a cute butt. Nicely toned thighs and calves too. His upper legs actually look a little too thick…like they have a little too much muscle. I wonder if they get more work than the rest of his body. I stand up, wanting to touch them and see if they're as hard as I imagine them to be…BAD ALICE! I swear silently and sit back down, remembering to keep an ear out for Tori. Her heartbeat is slow and steady, no nightmares, no chance of her waking up. Good. I don't hear any other heartbeats in the house. That's odd, I didn't notice this the last time I was here. Where are his parents? I take in his room. He's sleeping on a full size bed. There's a dresser with a small TV on it, and a desk in the corner. The room is messy, but cleaner than most boys' rooms.

Silently I stand yet again, giving the sleeping boy a wide berth. There are a few pictures scattered around the room. Pat and Tori. Pat, Tori, and an old man. Pat's football pictures, dating back several years it seems. An autographed picture of a football player I don't recognize. Denver Broncos jersey…number forty-seven. I'll have to ask Emmett. Another one of the same man, this time in a different jersey. Same number. Tampa Bay, I think…but I don't keep up with football. Another picture…this one of Pat, Tori, Amber, and two older women I don't recognize. I look closer. One of them resembles him and Tori. The other bares a resemblance to Amber. Their moms maybe? Falling back on an old habit, I peek into his small closet. Mostly jeans with a few pair of cargo pants. Nothing really dressy. A couple of button up shirts, mostly in solid colors. A baseball jersey…red and black…Moscow High School colors. Number three, of course. Some camouflage clothes. A hunter? I look around the room, taking it all in. I see a baseball glove, brown with black laces on top of the TV. It looks old, but well cared for. A pair of black batting gloves inside the webbing. His backpack is next to the desk. A glass gun cabinet sits in the far corner near his bed, several long guns visible. Definitely a hunter. Like I said, typical boys room…just a little cleaner.

I go back to the recliner, trying to ignore the burning in my throat. Hunting did help, just not as much as I'd hoped. Pat's still sleeping peacefully, a small smile on his face. I wonder what he's dreaming about. I sit there for a while, just admiring him. I practice, taking a small breath, then holding it…letting my throat simmer. Pat stirs. "Don't leave me," he mumbles. I freeze. "Mom, don't leave." "Pops, don't go." "Mom…Pops…Amber…Tori…Alice…don't leave me." What? He shivers, mumbling incoherently. I ease up and grab his comforter off the floor. In one fluid motion, I spread it over him, tucking it around his feet. I'm sad now. This boy…who stood up for a girl he doesn't even know…who comforts his baby sister when she has a nightmare…has fears just like everyone else. I wonder where his parents and grandparents are. Pat twist under the covers, snuggling deeper. I sit back down, concentrating on taking small breaths and trying to get use to the scent. _Admiring the bouquet while resisting the wine, _as Edward would say. Or something like that. I don't do anything but sit, admire, and concentrate for the rest of the night.

The sound of an approaching vehicle snaps me out of my thought. "Shit," I hiss silently to myself. I fly to the window, peeking carefully from the corner. Another truck, with the old man from Pat's picture pulls up in the yard. Gotta time this just right. I let the old man exit the truck. He gives the window a hard look and I hold my breath. No way he saw me. He then turns and walks towards the house. As soon as I hear the door open I snatch the window open, leap through, and ease it shut. I then run to the nearest tree line. I stop there, wanting to make sure everything's ok.

"Pat," comes a gravely voice, "get your ass up." I hear Pat shift under the covers. "Alright," he yells back, grumbling. Footsteps are heard as Pat stumbles to the kitchen. "Where'd you go last night?" the old man ask. "Nowhere," Pat replies, "came home right after scrimmage." "Then why is the screen out of your bedroom window?" "I give up, why?" Pat asks, sounding like he's rummaging through the cabinets. "Don't be a smart ass boy," the old man snaps back, "I asked you a question." "I don't know Pops," Pat says, not put off by the old man's tone, "what, you thought I snuck out?" "I don't know," the old man replies, pouring something, "that's why I ask." "Pops, if I was going to go somewhere last night…no one was home. Why didn't I just go out the front door?" "Maybe you had some gal over?" Grandpa replies. "Same thing," Pat continues, attempting to sound patient, "if I had a girl over…which I didn't…why didn't she just come in the front door?" "You both overslept and didn't hear me drive up?" I swear I can hear Pat roll his eyes. "Then why was the screen down when you drove up?" he ask. "If she had to sneak out when you came in, it wouldn't have been down when you drove up." "Wishful thinking, I guess," comes the old man's voice along with a cackling laugh. Pat only grunts in reply. "Coffee?" the old man asks.

I bail running back home now that I know everything's ok. Pat's grandfather sounds like a real character. He also has Pat's accent. I do wonder what he meant by "wishful thinking". He wants his grandson chasing girls? And why did he say my name and ask me not to leave? True, he said it with a bunch of other names, but it was names of people I assume he loves. Does he love me? One problem at a time Alice. Maybe I should concentrate on how I feel about him first. I mean, I've only officially known him a week.

I contemplate this as I run home. Everyone is waiting when I arrive. "Verdict?" Bella ask. Edward doesn't, he can read my mind. "He's still alive," I reply. "That's it?" Bella ask. Edward's trying his best not to smile, though he's losing. "Bullshit," comes Emmett's sharp reply. "Emmett!" Esme says sharply, "Language!" "Sorry," he says, in a softer voice, "but that's not it. If it was, she wouldn't be smiling." Am I smiling? Edward nods, his own grin evident. "He must talk in his sleep," Bella says softly, "and he must have said her name." Edward nods. "Just once," I reply, "along with several others." "Anyone we know?" Bella ask. I shrug and Edward sighs. "His mom, Grandfather, sister, and Amber…who's just a friend by the way," Edward remarks. I start to argue but he cuts me off. "I've seen in both their minds Alice…there's nothing there." Is he smirking? Does he know something? Edward nods, picking my brain. "It's not my story to tell," he says before I can ask, "but I assure you…nothing's going on there."

I spent the rest of the weekend in my room, though for a different reason. I was either in my closet or the Internet, looking for something to wear Monday. I was going to talk to Patrick. The problem was my visions: every time I picked out an outfit, my vision of Pat's reaction was…well, they varied from 'indifferent' to 'hostile'. Nothing caught his eye. I even tried picking off the wall items: a bikini, a wedding dress…I even picked going completely nude. Nothing worked. This only made my anxiety worse.

______________________________________________________________________

I was a nervous wreck by Monday morning. I finally decided on black dress slacks and a white button up shirt, the top two buttons left open. I don't have much cleavage, but I figured I'd use what I have. The vision with this outfit earned me a 'indifferent' reaction, but I figured I WAS the one that ignored him so I guess I should make the first move. Maybe talking to him would work.

"You look so cute Alice," Bella said, hugging me when I came downstairs. My clothes were pressed, my hair somewhat fixed up. I even put on a slight amount of make-up and painted my nails. I was ready. I felt more like the old me. _Jasper would want this…Jasper would want this, _I chant to myself the entire ride to school. Edward nodded in agreement, though he didn't say anything to the others. I looked nice, I felt ok. It was time I made my move.

Pat was already in his seat in Spanish. "Morning Pat," I said sweetly as I took my seat. He nodded, but didn't turn to face me. I pause, then inhale quickly. Still burning, but not as bad as before. I start to reach and touch his arm and ask _how was your weekend_ when another vision hits me.

_We're still here. Patrick is looking at me and he's angry. You can tell, his eyes are narrowed and his jaw is set in a hard line. I'm crying. Whatever he said…hurt._

I gasp silently. Pat doesn't even turn my way. What was that? Is he that upset? What do I do? I raise my hand and move as quickly as I can in a roomful of students and whisper for a hall pass to the bathroom. One smile and the teacher agrees. I take it and hurry out the door. I pass a stairwell and someone grabs me and roughly pulls me into it.

Edward. He pulls me to him and crushes me to his chest. "I saw Alice," he whispers, "I saw you vision." I sob silently, my whole body shaking against Edward's chest. _What do I do? _I think. He shushes me gently. "Let's give it a few days," he whispers in my ear, "give it some time. Give us a chance to talk and regroup. There's something we don't know." I love how he keeps saying "we". "Of course 'we'," he whispers, "we've always been in this together. You were right with me when I had my concerns with Bella, remember?" I sniff and nod. "Get back to class and ignore him," he whispers, "we'll talk at lunch." I nod and wipe my eyes. Even after all this time being unable to shed tears, it's still a habit.

No one is the wiser when I return to class. Pat keeps his eyes diverted to the book on his desk, though you'd have to be a fool to think he's actually reading. I try not to look his way, but fail. He seems to be doing a better job of ignoring me than I am of ignoring him. Even though I understood Edward, I never understood how he could find Bella attractive…being human and all. Now I understand. Patrick is everything I like in my man and everything a vampire can't be. Warm. Soft. Vulnerable. It's refreshing. I guess attraction is subjective. Edward never looked another human before Bella, while my cousins Tanya and Kate use to sleep with human men all the time. Yet Kate had fallen in love with a vampire…Garrett…and Tanya had a crush on Edward for decades. The bell rings and we move to our next class. Now I'm wondering what he tastes like. Not his blood, his skin. BAD ALICE! I wonder if I could cheat. Use my "dazzling powers" as Bella use to call them. No, he seems pretty stubborn. Of course, Bella was stubborn too. Ugh, tough decision. I don't want to risk another vision here in class. Saved by the bell.

I ignore Shawn in fourth period and go to meet my family at lunch. "Ok, we need a plan," says Emmett. Obviously Edward has filled him in. "Well, you two are guys," Bella says softly, "what do you recommend?" Both Emmett and Edward shrug. "You're asking us?" Emmett asks, "it's not like we date high school kids." I scoff at him. "He's thinking about you," Edward whispers to me, "mostly 'what was that all about?'" I groan. "So I'm still the 'spoiled little rich girl'?" I ask. He nods. Damn Alice, digging your own grave here.

"Bella," Emmett ask, "how did you learn about us?" Bella shrugs. "I asked around," she replies softly. "Good plan," Emmett says, "but who?" "I have Amber in Health," I reply, "maybe she could help me out." Edward frowns. "Be careful Alice," he says, "she's very…protective…of Patrick." "Protective?" I ask. He nods. "She's technically family…" he lets it drop. Not his story to tell. "Ok," I say, "but what else can we do?" "I can scan heads," Edward says with a shrug, "though I take thoughts with a grain of salt." Everyone nods in agreement. "Ironic, isn't it?" Edward asks. "You pushed him away and now that you want him close, he's pushing you." I let my head drop to the table. "Don't remind me," I say with a groan.

Despite the irony, I feel better once I get to Health. Now, how to approach Amber. She's pretty straight forward, so I decide on the direct approach. "Hey Amber," I say with a smile, "how was your weekend?" "Ok," she says with a smile, "spent it with my mom and her friend." I nod. "So," I continue, trying my best to appear nonchalant, "is Pat ok?" "I guess," she says, her eyes narrowing, "why do you ask?" Clearly defensive. I shrug, trying to play it off. "No reason," I reply, "he just looked upset in second period."

She shrugs. "Why do you care?" she asks. "No reason," I backpedal, "I was just curious." "What's the matter rich girl?" Amber sneers, "the climb to the top of the social ladder tougher than you plan?" My jaw clenches, getting angry. "I know what you're thinking," she goes on, "cute football player…good at what he does…you can dress up a little, bat you little eyes and shake your skinny little ass at him and he'll fall all over himself to hook up. You are mistaken sister." I gawk. "No, no," I whisper fiercely, ignoring the teacher. Everyone else is. "He's a nice guy…and he looked upset…I was just curious." She glares at me. "He is," she says finally, "at you." Like I didn't know that. "I screwed up, didn't I?" I say softly. She nods, not relaxing. "I had some…personal issues…when we met," I say, trying not to give away too much, "he's a nice guy…and I know I kind of blew it…" "Kind of?" Amber sneers. Wow, being on her bad side sucks.

The teacher calls the class to order and Amber turns around. Ok, I screwed up. Ok, Amber could help me. The question is why? Why should she? I chew on my bottom lip and think as the teacher drones on about dental hygiene. Please, please give us another worksheet or something we can work on in pairs. I need to talk to her.

My prayers are answered and I tap Amber on the shoulder before she can even blink. "Ok," I whisper, "I know I screwed up…royally. I know what he thinks…and what you think…and I don't care. I'm going to find a way to get close to him. Not because I want to improve my social standing. Not because he looks like he'd be a decent lay…" Even though he does…BAD ALICE! "Because there's a connection there and I want to see how it goes. Now, you can help me or you can get the hell out of my way. Either way, I'm going to try."

Amber surprises me. She doesn't look shocked, only thoughtful. "You're willing to fight for him?" she asks. Is she kidding? I'd mop the floor with her. "You could find someone easier…you know Shawn has his eye on you?" I shake my head. "Blondes may do it better," I reply, "but redheads are more fun." She giggles. "You know you've got your work cut out for you," she says, getting serious, "he doesn't date." "Why not?" I ask. "Because he hates it here," she says with a shrug, "and he doesn't want his life for Tori…that's his little sister." "Aww," I say, "he takes care of his little sister?" She nods. "We've been friends since…well since he moved here in 8th grade." "He needs a girlfriend," she says with a sigh, "so I'm going to go out on a limb and agree to help you. But if you screw this up…" she lets the threat hang. I nod in agreement, though I'm not afraid of the human. "Deal," I say, offering my hand. She accepts, flinching slightly at the cold.

"So what do I do?" I ask. Amber doesn't answer at first, obviously deep in thought. I take the time to answer some of the health questions on the worksheet. I get to number three before Amber replies. "The problem is, getting him to talk to you," she finally admits, "and that's not going to be easy." "If you keep engaging him in school, sooner or later he's going to bite your head off…it's happened before." I wince. Just like in my vision.

"Why?" I ask. Amber looks me over. "When he first moved here," she explains, "he was the hick from Alabama." That explains the accent that makes my thighs tingle…BAD ALICE! "Between that and a few other things beyond his control, people…including girls…laughed at him and made fun of him. All of a sudden, he becomes the most feared safety in high school football and those same girls start falling on their backs with their legs in the air. If you were in his position, how would _you_ react?" I see her point. Pat can hold a grudge and I look like all the other girls. "We need you to be subtle," she says, "show interest…but subtly if that makes sense." I nod in agreement.

She stops to copy my answers. "Keep dressing up," she thinks aloud, "that outfit is cute and you want cute. If you try for 'sexy' it's going to look like you're coming on too strong…and draw attention from Shawn." She ponders. "Do you like anything he does?" she ask. "Or you too girly-girl?" I shrug. "I like football and baseball," I admit. Not really, but I'm learning quickly. Amber doesn't buy it. "Explain the infield fly rule," she says. I gawk. Never heard of it. "That's what I thought," she says with a groan. "I can learn," I admit. "Are you afraid to get dirty?" Amber ask, "like would you go fishing?" I nod. Sure, I can do that. If I remember most country songs I've heard, "going fishing" means something besides getting your line wet…BAD ALICE!

"He's not quite as high up the socioeconomic ladder as your family," Amber admits. I shrug. "It doesn't matter," I reply. She gives me a funny look. "Either you really have a connection or you're slumming." I shake my head. "Connection," I say quickly, "promise." She nods. "I'll work on it…but if I may make a suggestion…don't try making a move this week." I give her a funny look. "First game's Friday," she explains, "he's a little stressed." I nod. Not like I won't see him at night.


	6. Chapter 5

**I don't own Twilight. I do own Patrick though. Maybe I should start a Team Human...**

CHAPTER 5-ALICE'S P.O.V.

I took everyone's advice: I didn't talk to him. Not that I didn't want to. Amber seemed to have the best advice. "If he initiates contact, be nice…friendly…but nothing to over the top." Which I did. I looked at him more, not trying to be sly. If he caught me, or I caught him, I would smile softly. He never smiled back, but he never said anything bad to me. That was a plus. I felt kind of silly, like a lovesick teenager. "We're pretending to be teenagers," Edward said, "we'll just say you're getting into character." He didn't approve of me flipping him off for that comment.

I continued to improve my wardrobe. I kept it simple: jeans or slacks and modest tops the next two days though they're nicer than what I've worn the past two decades. I broke down and wore a skirt Thursday, blue with a yellow blouse. He noticed, but averted his eyes before he could get to my legs. I can't believe all these years of rolling my eyes at teenage boys gawking at my legs and I actually WANT this one to. Amber approved of the outfit. "Cute without being too revealing," she replies, "I like it."

I did get a reaction from the outfit from Shawn. "Nice legs," he said, giving me a low whistle. I frown in response. He was a pain the rest of the day, touching my back or arm or bumping against me in the hall. He even followed me to lunch, but Emmett's glare was enough to keep him from sitting down with us. Pat's eyes were hard at that. "He does care Alice," Edward whispers, "rather he'll admit it to himself or not. The thought of Shawn touching you angered him." That's good news.

I made it a point to get to his house around one AM. I tried coming earlier, but he was awake some night and I had to wait in the woods. Amber watched Tori till he got in and after she was gone Pat would get Tori ready for bed. Once Tori was asleep, he would do chores around the house: laundry, dishes, or other things he could do without bothering Tori. That or homework. The earliest I saw him go to bed was 11...12:30 was the latest. He drug himself out of bed promptly at six, got himself and Tori ready for school, and took Tori to school before taking himself. He was usually early enough to go into the coach's office.

Friday came with an air of excitement. There wasn't much to do in a town this small and football was big here. "You want to go?" Amber asks me before Health. I shrug. "It will be fun," she said, "and you can see Pat actually play." I found myself nodding before I even consciously realized I had. "Great," she gushes, "I'll me you at the front gate about 6:30." "Great," I say with a smile. Maybe I could get Emmett to go.

I'm practically skipping to the car. Edward read my thoughts immediately. "Yes," he answers, "I'm sure Emmett would like to go tonight." "Football game?" Emmett asks, "I'm in!" I squealed in delight, causing everyone in the car to burst out laughing. "We need to go shopping," Bella said quickly. I gawk. Did Bella just say 'shopping'? Edward nods in agreement. "You want to wear school colors," Edward explains, "show your spirit." That makes sense. "I don't have my credit card with me," I say sadly. The truth is I haven't carried anything…cash, credit cards, or ID…in a long time. "We got ya covered," Emmett says, wrapping his arm around me. Edward drives to a local sporting goods store that had black, red, and white sale signs.

The old Alice returned, if only for a little while. I got black, red, and white ribbons to put in my hair, a face painting kit, a set of shakers, and a Moscow High school stadium seat, not that I needed it. I was happy, but I didn't get excited until I got to the back of the store. There, they had jerseys just like college and pro football teams. The good kind. The expensive kind. Football must be BIG here, because they had not only numbers, but also the name of the players on the back. "That one," I squeal, pointing to a black, red, and white jersey with the number three and "P. Williamson" on the back. It was almost two hundred dollars and Edward, bless him, didn't bat an eye.

I was practically bouncing in my seat the entire way home. Once home, I grabbed my bags and rushed to my room. I took a shower, even though I didn't need it. It just helped me relax. I wore a pair of designer jeans Esme must have bought me and a black turtleneck. I put the oversized jersey on over it. Grinning at the mirror, I fixed my hair and tied the ribbon to it. I then painted a black 'M' on one cheek and a red bear claw on the other. I finished it off with a pair of black sneakers. I tucked the shakers in my back pocket, grabbed my seat, and hurried down the stairs.

Emmett was waiting for me. He was wearing jeans, a Moscow High School t-shirt, a black leather jacket, and a Moscow baseball cap. "Someone's excited," he said with a wink, giving me a big hug. I smile back. "Is the Patrick Williamson fan club ready?" he asks. I nod. We take Emmett's Jeep and I try to calm down. Why am I so excited? I mean, I'm only going to see Pat. It's not like we're going out. He's going to play football and I'm going to watch. Watch him play football. Get all sweaty. In those tight football pants…BAD ALICE!

Amber is waiting at the gate, smiling when she's how I'm dressed. Her smile drops for a moment when she sees Emmett. "This is my brother Emmett," I tell her, "he gave me a ride." "Nice to meet you," Emmett says, offering his hand and pouring on the charm. He can be a teddy bear when he wants to. "Hi," Amber says, shyly. Is she flirting? I shrug it off and pull her aside. "Too over the top?" I ask, using her words. She gives me a once over. "No," she says, "lots of people in this town wear number three." "It sends a subtle message because you don't stick out, but you still chose to wear his number." I grin. "Come on," she says, grabbing my wrist and moving towards Emmett, "we need to get some seats."

We sit near the band, at Amber's insistence. "We'll have the most fun here," she explains. Emmett and I beg off any food and Amber goes alone. I use this time to get Emmett to explain football to me a little. I get the basics: a touchdown is six points, an extra point is one, a two point conversion is two (obviously), a field goal is three, and a safety is two. Easy. He also explains where a free safety lines up and what he does (at the back of the defense and is responsible for run support and pass coverage). Emmett tries to explain more, but I lose concentration when I see Patrick.

He's standing outside the field house, wearing all his gear but his helmet, shoulder pads, gloves, and jersey. He has a black t-shirt with the sleeves and bottom cut off, showing just a little stomach. His wrists are taped and he has a black sweatband high on both his forearms. Instead of the line under each eye with that black stuff (another question for Emmett) he has it running diagonally across his face from hairline to chin. It looks like claw marks. Venom pools in my mouth again as he leans over and spits. It's brown. I turn at look at Emmett. "Chewing tobacco," he says with a shrug, "lot of players do that…especially baseball." I shudder. Nothing a human puts in their mouth smells appetizing to me. Unless I was kneeling in front of Pat and had his…BAD ALICE!

Amber returns and it looks like the players are getting ready to take the field. The cheerleaders have a big sign held up and the smoke machine turned on. Patrick, Shawn, and a large black guy with "Williamson" are facing off at midfield with three of the opposing players. Another Williamson, huh? "Coin toss," Emmett whispers, too low for Amber to hear. The other team calls it, the referee flips the coin and I see Pat mouth the word 'shit'. "They lost the toss," Amber says aloud, "Pat likes to play defense first." The other teams captain makes their choice and Pat's mood improves. "The other team wants the ball first," Amber says, equally happy, "Bears play defense." They leave the field and the team runs through the sign and smoke with the school fight song playing. Pat goes up to Coach Brooks while another group of guys go onto the field. "Kickoff team," Emmett whispers, trying to keep me in the loop. The teams line up and the kicker puts it in the end zone. "In Idaho high schools, if it end up in the end zone, it's a touchback," Amber explains, "it's different in some states." I nod, my eyes glued to Patrick.

"Watch this," Amber says with a smirk. Everyone on the defense except Pat runs onto the field and lines up in two lines of five, the front row bent at the waist, the back standing close behind them. They're all holding hands. I have no idea why. Patrick is getting last minute instructions from a different coach. He turns and the coach slaps him on the butt with his clipboard. What's with the butt slapping? As soon as Pat's foot touches the playing field, the band starts up with the Imperial March. You know…from Star Wars. It's a cool entrance.

Patrick jogs to the huddle, seemingly oblivious to the music or the crowd. He stands in front of his huddle. I can hear him from here. His voice is calm, composed, and just loud enough his ten players can hear him. "Base cover three, base cover three" "Ready?" The team slaps their hands together at 'break' and line up. The offense is breaking nearly at the same time. The quarterback snaps the ball and hands off to a running back up the middle. He gets seven yards, dragging a tackler, before Patrick stops him. Second down…same play…same result. First down again. This time they run a sweep right. The corner slows the running back up and the linebacker and Patrick take him down for a short game. On second down, Patrick lines up about five yards closer than usual and slowly walks towards the line. "Is he lost?" I ask. "Safety blitz," Amber replies. "And the quarterback doesn't see him," Emmett adds in an odd singsong voice. They're right. Pat makes right behind one of the two linemen in the middle (the other Williamson) as the quarterback snaps the ball. He sprints in untouched and the hit is nothing short of brutal. Seriously, it even made Emmett wince. Patrick jumps up and doesn't even look at the quarterback, just jogs to the huddle with the crowd going wild. On third and really long, they opt to just run up the middle. It still gains 8 before Pat makes an excellent open field tackle to force them to punt.

"He's pissed," Amber says. I watch him. He's standing next to Coach Brooks, helmet off, his mouth set in a tight line. I lean forward, straining to hear him. "Let me handle it," I hear him say. Coach Brooks doesn't speak, just nods. The offense takes the field and the defense sits down. Patrick storms over, so mad his face is red. He slaps Williamson…who still has his helmet on…then proceeds to slap the entire defensive line. "What the fuck was that?" he snarls. "You people are turning me into the fucking human highlight reel." "Will," he says, turning to Williamson, "that tackle looks like he's walking in cement." "Get on his outside shoulder and put some fucking heat on that quarterback." Once again, his accent is more pronounced, showing his stress. He turns. "Brooks…Johnson," he snarls, "you're getting blown off the goddamn ball." "You two should be OWNING the middle."

Patrick then raises up. "Look at them," he says, jerking his thumb at the offense, "we're going to have to pitch a fucking shutout to win this game." I gawk. Boy's got a bad mouth. "Alice," Emmett whispers where Amber can't hear, "football is combat for high school boys. Don't judge him too harshly for what he says in the heat of battle." I nod absently, remember Jasper. He was known to let language like that fly in a fight. Even yelling and cursing, that accent is sexy.

The offense stalls and they have to punt. Patrick comes back on the field. What he said must have woke his team up, because they all began attacking like he did. The other team only gained two first downs the rest of the half. Not that our offense could do any better. Either Shawn was having a bad night or he was just overrated. Amber talked some, mostly about football. She kept trying to engage Emmett in conversation. I could tell he was impressed that not only did she know a "nickel package" existed, but what it was. The game is scoreless at halftime.

Patrick jogs to the field house with his teammates, and Amber pulls me with her. I figure she needs to go to the bathroom, so I follow. Not ever needing to go myself, I can't understand why women have to go in groups. I sit in the stall and pretend though, just for appearance sake. "Hurry up Alice," Amber says from outside. I flush and leave the stall. "We have to get to the fence," she explains, tugging me forward. "The fence?" I ask. "Trust me," she says with an evil smirk.

We get to the fence where Tori and Pat's granddad are standing. "Pops," Amber says to the old man, "this is my friend Alice." "Alice, this is Mr. Williamson and Tori." "Nice to meet you," I reply shaking hands and giving my best smile. It works. "Please to meet you little lady," he says with a thick southern drawl. Tori just waves shyly. Mr. Williamson is tall and wiry, with a full head of white hair, leathery wrinkled skin, and Patrick's blue eyes. He's wearing jeans, a button up shirt, and an old brown Stetson. Nothing else is said because Amber says, "here they come."

I look and see the team gathering up in the end zone. "Pat!" Tori screams. That's the first time I've heard her talk…and she has the same accent. Hers is actually cuter than Pat's! He immediately comes to the fence and picks her up, hugging her tightly. He doesn't see anyone else, just her. He holds her tightly for several long moments. "That quarterback sucks," Mr. Williamson comments. He mean Shawn or the other quarterback? Pat loosens his grip on Tori, but doesn't let her go. "What did you expect…Tom Brady?" he ask. Then he looks at me. His gaze is puzzled. I drop my head, shifting uncomfortably. I swear if I could blush, I would. Damn, sweaty he smells even better. I bet in a hot, steamy shower he'd smell…and taste…even better…BAD ALICE! I look up, biting my bottom lip and swallowing venom, though less than I expected. He gives Amber a hard look. Amber mouths _I'll tell you later_ and he shrugs. "Hitman," comes the voice of one of the coaches, "get your ass in gear." He kisses Tori on the forehead. "Time to go to work," he mumbles, passing Tori back over the fence to Amber. He gives me a parting look, puzzlement or wonder, and hurries to join his team.

Amber continues to converse with Mr. Williamson while I watch Pat. He's stretching and staring right at me. He doesn't look happy. I gaze back, mesmerized. What is it about what he's been doing…the violence of it…that turns me on? I lick my lips, drop my head again…embarrassed. I didn't mean to do that. "Glad you came to see me," comes a different voice. Shawn. I look up, angry. "I didn't," I snap. "Sure, sure," he says, throwing me a wink, "want to meet up after the game?" "You're not going to score tonight," I hiss, "on OR off the field." I turn and storm away, leaving both Amber and Patrick laughing.

As fatigue sets in and both teams weaken, Patrick seems to get stronger. His speed doesn't decrease…his tackles are still as crisp and brutal as they were at the beginning. It's a good thing too. Shawn throws an interception on second down of the opening drive and the defense has to come in to bail them out. They end up surrendering a field goal. Patrick looks like a mountain lion taking down a deer…or a vampire taking down a mountain lion. Emmett and Amber continue the conversation without me. I'm too entranced watching my singer wreck havoc.

The other team's quarterback overthrows his receiver over the middle in the middle of the fourth quarter on third down and Patrick is there. Sixty-seven yards for a touchdown giving the Bears a 7-3 lead. The entire student body, along with the band and most of the season ticket holders start chanting "Hitman…Hitman…Hitman…Hitman". This fires up the defense and it's all the cushion they need. The game ends with a win for the Bears. "Good defense," Emmett says as we pack up to leave, "but we really need to put some points on the board." Amber nods in agreement. Yeah, she's smitten with my big brother.

"What do we do now?" I whisper to Amber. She shrugs. "The guys usually go out as a team later," she says in a low voice, "private party." "We can't go?" I whine. Shit, I'm whining? Amber shakes her head. "Players only," she explains, "trust me…you don't want to go. Too much beer and too much testosterone." He drinks too? "He'll be alright," Amber says, seeming to read my mind, "he won't overdo it." I nod, though I'm not feeling it. "He's a big boy Alice," Amber says with a roll of her eyes, "he'll be fine." Emmett and I walk Amber to her car. "Call me tomorrow," Amber says, giving me her number. "Sure," I say with a smile. She hugs us both, holding onto Emmett a heartbeat less than improper, and gets in her car.

"Have fun?" Emmett asks. I beam at him. "I didn't think I'd like football," I admit. He laughs and ruffles my hair. "It helps when you know someone in the game," he says as we drive back to the house. Once home, we appear alone. Guess the married couples are spending some quality time together. I skip to my room and into the shower, wanting to get this make-up off.

Once I'm under the spray, the thought I had earlier returns. One of the 'Bad Alice' thoughts from earlier…how Patrick would taste under the shower. I begin lathering up, feeling myself getting aroused when my hands rub against my chest. It surprises me; I haven't felt like this in a long time. My thoughts return to him. How he looked at me, that expression of puzzlement…or was it wonder…in his eyes. His brow, damp with sweat…his chest heaving. Damn, get it under control Alice. I close my eyes and purr as my hand slowly travels down my stomach. I can picture him with me…my chest pressed against his…him whispering in my ear, calling me "darlin" with that accent of his. Damn he looked hot. Body lithe, in the heat of combat. Just like Jasper use to.

Oh my god…


	7. Chapter 6

(A/N Ok guys, this story is rated M for a reason. It gets darker in this chapter. There might be a lemon twist down the road, but the rating was mainly for the language and the dark themes. Sorry if I offend anyone. Also this chapter is dedicated to Stephycats7785 and LordXeenTheGreat who are the only two that have reviewed this story despite the decent amount of traffic for this first time writer. Thank you both. If you're reading, send me one too. I kind of need some reassurance there's an interest in this story. In the words of Dr. Evil, "throw me a freakin bone here!" Anyway, on with the show.)

**I do not own Twilight. I do own Patrick, Amber, Tori, and Pops. Want them? I'm willing to negoitate!**

CHAPTER 6-ALICE'S P.O.V.

This weekend was the worst of my existence since the day Jasper was destroyed. Emmett found me hysterical in the shower and, wanting to spare me embarrassment, immediately called Carlisle and Esme. They called Edward and Bella. I couldn't care less about embarrassment. Bella and Esme pulled me out from under the spray and wrapped me in a bathrobe. I never stopped wailing. They begged me to tell them what was going on, but I refused. Edward didn't have a clue. "All she's thinking, over and over, is 'I'm a horrible person'," he said after I was taken to my bedroom. I didn't stop bawling or shaking the entire night. How could I have done this? My Jasper was dead…and I was actually lusting after another. A human boy at that. What the hell is wrong with me? I forced myself not to think this around Edward, only thinking of how horrible I was until he left.

Saturday was no better. I literally did not move the entire day. I pulled my knees to my chest and sobbed from my epiphany. Esme and Bella stayed with me the entire day, not that I was willing to open up. Physically, vampires have unlimited stamina. That can be good or that can be bad. When you're bawling your eyes out, unlimited stamina…very bad. Esme and Bella held my as my tiny body shook, my eyes burned from lack of tears, my breath hitched in my throat, and my heart tried to tear it's way out of my chest. This kept on until after dark.

After dark I went from hysterical to catatonic. I just lay there, not moving, not breathing, and not blinking. Esme went and got Carlisle, who tried to talk to me. I refused to answer. Emmett came in. Still no response. Edward came back and he fared no better. Why were these people trying to talk to me? Didn't they know what a horrible person I was? "Why do you keep thinking that Alice?" Edward asks softly. I didn't respond. If I did, he would try to talk me out of it…and I couldn't have that. I deserve to feel the way I do.

Vampires don't have doctors. I know what you're thinking, "no shit Alice". I say that for a very important reason. We can heal on our own…physically. Emotionally, we're also on our own. There isn't some psychologist with "Shrink to the Vampires" on their door or their Yellow Page ad. We have three choices: get over it, live with it, or die. No exceptions. Time passes differently for our kind too, obviously. Something that could take a human a half a lifetime to overcome, that could be anywhere from thirty-five to fifty years. For vampires…well, what's half of forever?

They finally leave me alone in the wee hours of Sunday morning. I still don't move. I'm a horrible person. Jasper was dead…because of me…and not only do I continue to live, I think about being with another. Isn't Jasper waiting for me in whatever existence comes after death for us? What would he think? I glance out the window. It's night again. I listen closely. The house is empty.

Literally out of the blue, I'm hit with another epiphany. Of course…there is a way out of this pain. I leap to my feet and run to the porch. I listen closely and sniff. No one is here. Perfect. Why didn't I think of this sooner? I have thought horrible thoughts. I am a horrible person. I need my Jasper, though I'm not worthy of him. To be worthy, I require purification…the only kind available to my kind.

Quickly, I run to the garage, picking up the large hunk of red plastic. I shake it, smiling a wicked smile as I do. It's mostly full. It will be enough. Still in my robe I run back to my room and dig through my drawers, finding what I need. Jasper use to make love to me by candlelight. Fitting I use them to join him. I also grab a pen and paper, to tell those still here I love goodbye. I run out the door and into the woods…ignoring the branches catching on my white bathrobe. It doesn't matter what I'm wearing…Jasper will accept me…after I'm pure once again. Quickly, before anyone returns, I scamper deeper into the woods.

I find just the right spot, a nice clearing where I can see the moon about five miles from the house. There is a small tree in the middle of the clearing, leafless…dead…just like me inside on the bank of a small stream. Why is this place familiar? I shrug that thought off and refocus on the task at hand. Oh Jasper, can you see this? It's perfect. Now I know why I've had to wait so long to join you…this moon in this spot, pale like your face, is perfect. My vision comes to me now, working now in my last moments.

_I see my family, gathered around my ashes_, _openly weeping. Esme, the most compassionate of us, is kneeling in front of my ashes and actually shedding tears. I wonder…are those water or venom? Carlisle stands behind her, his hand on her shoulder, yet unable to comfort his wife. Bella and Edward are wrapped up in each other's embrace. They're faces are buried in each other's shoulder, their bodies shuddering. Emmett is on his knees, behind everyone else, openly weeping. He is the only one who understands the depth of my grief. No one says anything, for which I'm glad._

The vision makes me smile. I smile because it means I will be successful. I will be with Jasper soon. I drop my provisions and hurry around the clearing, building a huge pile of wood around the dead tree for my bonfire. My funeral pyre. I pick up the red canister and splash half it on the circle of wood, soaking the firewood with gasoline. Now I wonder, can I see Jasper? Will I be able to see us in the next life…like I could see Bella's future as a vampire while she was still human? I close my eyes and concentrate. Nothing. Well, not nothing. I have a vision. I feel the familiar shifting in my mind as the vision overtakes me. The vision is fuzzy…meaning either death or a shifter nearby. I don't smell any of them.

That should stop me. It means I won't be with Jasper. But it doesn't matter. I've tried to live without Jasper…and failed. There is nothing left. Only a few moments of pain and it ends. I'll take the blackness if it means an end to the pain. My vision glazes over, another vision. I've seen enough…it's time to go. However, the vision refuses to release me.

_It's a cemetery, somewhere familiar. Forks? My family is around a grave. I'm guessing it's mine. Everyone is there: Carlisle, Esme, Bella, Edward, Emmett, Jacob, Renesmee, Charlie, Sue, Embry, Leah, Seth…Patrick? He's there. So is Amber and Tori. Patrick, wearing a black suit, looks magnificent. He's holding Tori, who's clinging to his neck, crying with the innocence only a child can cry. "I'm sorry dear Alice," Carlisle speaks, his voice cracking, "I pray you are finally at peace." Edward is looking at Patrick with anger in his eyes. I don't like that…I don't want Edward to be angry with him. "May you be at peace Alice," Bella whisper, "you were my best friend. I'll miss you." Renesmee has begun to weep now, along with Esme and Amber. No one else speaks for a moment. "I wish I could've saved you," Edward whispers. Of course Edward would blame himself. Then everyone leaves…but one. Patrick. "Damn you Alice," he says through gritted teeth, those captivating blue eyes shiny with tears, "you left before I could know you." He pulls something from his pocket and gently places it on the top of my empty casket. It's the hair ribbon I was wearing at the football game…I took it off before I got in the shower. I can see it plain as day. "My Alice," he mummers as he places the ribbon on the casket._

I snap out at that point. No, I'm not "his Alice"…am I? Could I be? No. My heart belongs to Jasper. I shake my head. It doesn't matter. It's time to die. I shuck the robe off and throw it clear, then pick up the rest of the gasoline. I tilt my head up and pour it over my head, drenching my frail frame. The fumes are horrible. I walk back towards my packages and pick up my pen. I can't think of anything else to say, so I just write, "I'm sorry". Pathetic…just like me. I then light a candle, careful not to ignite myself. I'm saving that for the pile of wood. It's perfect…set just like you were burning someone at the stake. A fitting end.

I step into the middle and put my free hand on the small dead tree, the lit candle in my other hand. "I love you Jasper," I whisper, letting the candle slowly drop from my hand. It lands on the wood at my feet, a whooshing sound my only warning. I grip the tree tightly, feeling my legs as they begin to burn. _This is the end_, I think. That thought is crushed when I'm hit with a blow to my chest that knocks me clear of the fire.

I'm disoriented for a moment. Something crushes my legs with a great weight and the burning stops. Then a shrieking sound begins as the weight rolls off of me. I look up. Seth Clearwater, in wolf form, is rolling on the ground nearly ten feet away…his coat on fire. I leap to my feet. Meddling dog. I crouch, preparing to take him out when I'm hit from behind, knocking me to my knees. I turn. Leah. "Come on bitch," I snarl, "I've already got the fire started." She growls in response, her hackles raised. "Leah, down!" comes Jacob's voice from behind her. He runs to us quickly, in human form, fully dressed. "Over here Edward," he shouts.

I turn back to my pyre. It's still burning. I make a quick assessment, trying to decide if I could make the leap when I'm hit for a third time. Jacob, in wolf form, knocks me to the ground, then backs up. Him and Leah circle me, getting between me and my destiny. "Let me go Jacob," I snarl. I'm still naked, but I don't care. The Volturi have taken Jasper from me once, now these dogs are doing it again.

Chaos ensues next. Edward, Emmett, and Carlisle literally tackle me to the ground, me kicking and screaming the whole time. I even bite Emmett. Esme attempts to cover me with my robe but I kick it off. I don't care who sees what…I only want what's coming to me. Bella has my face in her hands, whispering words I can't hear over my own shrieking. I scream as I see Seth is still alive and I fight harder. "I hope you forgive me one day, Alice," he says softly. "Piss off!" I snarl back. Leah tries to pull him away and I taunt her. "You suck Leah," I spit, "you can't kill a vampire that BEGS for death." Leah turns, her eyes burning with hate. They soften as they meet mine. "You're not well Alice," is all she says before turning around and helping Seth off. "Take her home," Carlisle orders and they carry me to the house. I fight the entire way, my eyes locked on the still burning fire. My path to salvation was so close.

Once inside, I'm taking past a crying Renesmee upstairs to an empty storage room. No windows, no furniture, nothing. Once there everyone holds me down and Carlisle once again force-feeds me human blood. Of course I fight it; I didn't want human blood when Jasper was alive, why would I want it now? This done, Esme offers me clothes. I ignore her. Everyone leaves the room…except Edward. His eyes are black, burning with an emotion I can't register.

"What." "The." "Hell" "Was" "That?" he snarls at me. I ignore him. I continue to lie their…naked…covered in blood and now healing burns. "Alice," he continues, "I have seen…and done…some horrifying things in my existence…but that was truly disturbing." I don't answer. "Why?" he ask. Still, I keep quiet. "Answer me damnit!" he snarls. I continue to be stubborn. "So help me Alice," he roars, "I will beat it out of you if that's what it takes." "I can not…this family can not…live and watch you suffer like you do!" Edward threatening violence…against a woman? That's a _bad_ sign.

"You could've let me go," I whisper. Hell, if anyone can understand wanting to end their existence after their other half dies it would be Edward, right? His jaw drops. "NO, I COULDN'T," he yells, getting in my face. I look at the door. "You're not leaving," he says firmly, "and no one is coming in here to stop me…no matter how much either of us scream." It finally registers for me. "I will beat it out of you" was not an idle threat. He raises up and crosses his arms across his chest. "Let's have it Alice," he says, trying to keep his voice even. "I don't know what you're talking about," I whisper. I don't care what Edward does. I have no will to fight him regardless. He rolls his eyes. "I've seen into your mind, Alice," he says grimly, "and I know you think you're this horrible being. You've been chanting it in your head since Friday night. So…show me." "Let me she just how horrible you really are."

I didn't mean to. I swear I didn't. I fully intended to take this secret to my grave…for lack of a better term. He opened the door just a crack and once it started, it couldn't be stopped. I showed him what happened, in every detail. I showed him Patrick. Patrick before the game, readying for battle. All power and grace as patrolled the sideline in his gear and war paint. Patrick in motion; running around the field with reckless abandonment, neither giving nor taking any quarter. Patrick at halftime, his paint smeared…muscles taught…sweaty…seeming to glow under the lights. How he smelled. How I thought how wonderful he smelled and how I wanted to taste him under the steam of a shower. Patrick's interception, so graceful Edward took in a sharp breath at the sight. Getting home. Taking my own shower. I don't just say it in my mind…I _show_ it in my mind. I'm naked now…it's not like Edward's never seen…and I have no shame left. I remember thinking the same thought…his taste…as my hands rubbed my chest. The shiver of pleasure as my thumb grazed my nipple. The warmth spreading down into the pit of my stomach, fueling my arousal. My hand drifting down, achingly slow, across my stomach. Then the realization…I was alive…and lusting after another while MY Jasper ceased to exist.

Edward reads through my mind without comment. "Alice," Edward whispers, "you love him." "No shit," I snarl, "Jasper is…" "Not Jasper," Edward interrupts, "Patrick." I stare at him dumbly. "Patrick…the human boy…has touched your heart." I shake my head. "But Jasper…" I begin. "No," Edward cuts me off again, "Jasper is dead. You know that. What do you think he would've done had he seen you try to end your existence like that?" Edward frowns. "He would've taken your place if that was the sacrifice…like when he died." Silence. "You can think in your head 'Jasper, Jasper, Jasper' all you want to," he goes on, "and it doesn't mean a damn thing." "Jasper had your heart while he was with us…and still has a piece of it…just like me, Carlisle, Esme, Bella, Emmett, Rosaline, Tanya, and all of those both still alive or no longer with us." He relaxes his posture. "I can _see_ into your mind Alice," he goes on, "it's not like your visions…subjective to whatever actions are taken…it's concrete. It's what you're really thinking_._" "And what do I think?" I ask weakly. "Your mind says you're in love again…and you're afraid."

He sits down on the floor and leans against the door. "Please put the robe on?" he asks softly. I relent. "Alice, you…rather you think yourself worthy or not…are getting a second chance." "I don't want a second chance," I whisper. Edward doesn't respond. Silence engulfs us for a few minutes. "Did you ever think maybe Jasper wasn't the right one?" Edward asks. I grit my teeth, but Edward holds up a hand. "Hear me out Alice. Did you ever think maybe Jasper was what you needed the first fifty years of you existence? And that maybe now…by some higher power we don't understand…he was taken from you because you no longer need him?" He pauses. "Or maybe because now Patrick needs you like you needed Jasper?" "We needed each other," I reply. Edward nods. "And I dare say you and Patrick need each other now."

I don't buy that. I mean, why would Patrick need me? I'm the one that's broken. Combine that with the fact I'm a vampire…that's a lot of problems for a teenage kid. And yes, he's a kid. I couldn't force this kind of hell on someone else. I know I know…what am I doing to my family? There's a difference here…they won't let me leave. They're too afraid of what I would do…not that they don't know. Had I left, I would've probably grieved alone for a while and then found a way to die. Not by fire…I just thought of that. Probably the Pack. Forced them to eliminate me, by any means necessary…even if it meant killing humans. That plan, along with my recreation of the Salem Witch Trials, has been shot. The question is what do I do now?

I keep putting one foot in front of the other. That's all I honestly _can_ do right now. I'm not going to try to get close to Patrick. I know that. It was hard enough with Edward and Bella and Edward…stubborn and anal-retentive as he can be…was at least stable. I'm not. I'm completely broken. My entire existence is in shambles. The best thing I can do is forget about Patrick.

September

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October

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November

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December

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January

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Time passes, like it's going to rather we want it to or not. I returned to school two weeks after the 'incident'. I completely withdrew from everyone, inside and outside my family. At home, someone is with me at all times. Bella and Esme don't even allow me to shower alone. They have to drag me into the bathroom anyway. I hunt when I'm ordered to, on the threat of being force fed human blood again. At school, it's like the first week all over again. Jeans are pretty much it. Jeans and sweatshirts. If Esme or Bella didn't run a brush through my hair, I wouldn't even touch it.

Moscow is beautiful in the winter. The snow is white and pure. The mountains are postcard perfect. Too bad even the natural beauty can't pull me out of this funk. I don't try to destroy myself again. It's not that I don't want to…I just don't have the drive. It's like I'm so torn up inside I don't even want to waste a perfectly good fire on myself. So I do what we've done for decades…pretend. Except for the occasional sunny day, I show up to school and pretend.

Amber. That's a sore subject. She started out worried when I didn't call and then went missing for two weeks. That gave way to confusion when I stopped talking (or never started again…depending on your point of view). Now, it's anger. Pure fury. She avoids me like the plague. She'll talk to Emmett if he engages her in conversation; otherwise she won't even look the rest of my family. The reason is simple: Patrick.

Patrick, sweet Patrick. He smiled a wonderful, honest smile when I finally returned to school. His good humor was short lived. I wasn't rude…just short…only nodding when I could get away with it. Patrick tried to talk to me. It just wasn't happening. He looked hurt the entire day, then his mood improved. I say 'improved' because I could deal with angry Patrick better than I could hurt Patrick. I was just like all the other girls in his mind…playing games with him. Seeing him, I could understand Amber's anger at me.

The rumor around school was they were going to stop calling him 'The Hitman' and start calling him 'The Axe Murderer'. He became a terror on the field and even more quiet at school. Homecoming, he hit an opposing wide receiver coming over the middle to catch a pass so hard the receiver ended up being carted off the field on a spine board. He finished first in the state in tackles and interceptions for his position. It didn't seem to phase him. Even with all the admiration…the praise…the teachers patting him on the back and the girls fawning over themselves to be near him, Patrick stayed the same old Patrick.

I couldn't even think about killing him anymore. The burning in my throat was still there…and it still sucked. I was so depressed even the monster inside of me wasn't pushing me. Pat was like looking at a fine sculpture. Just seeing it and you couldn't possibly imagine destroying something so beautiful. My heart ached so much. Ached to touch his face. To kiss him. To be 'Bad Alice'. To avoid him. To see him happy and safe. I wanted all of these things for Patrick. Yes, I was torturing myself. It's what I deserve.


	8. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7-ALICE'S P.O.V.

_So if you break the chains  
you'll have to shake me  
and if you break my heart  
you'll have to take me_

"Fly Me Courageous"

Drivin N Cryin

"Alice, get a move on," Emmett's voice booms from the bottom of the stairs. I huff in response. It's the third week in February it's time to go to school…again. I'm tired of this charade. "Come on Alice," Edward's voice calls from outside my door, "you know we have to." He read my mind. Shit. "Real ladylike Alice," he grumbles. I sigh and trudge down the stairs. Esme is waiting with my coat and hairbrush. I don't get cold, but with the snow on the ground, props are a necessity. I sit in my usual place behind Edward and stare out the window, sighing sadly. I swear this torture will never end.

I'm tortured by two men…Jasper and Patrick. The memory of Jasper is too much to bear sometimes and the vision of Patrick causes an ache in my chest nearly as great being away from Jasper. I'm at a complete loss as to what to do. Bella was right. Ignoring Patrick does hurt him rather he knows what the problem is or not. Does he feel for me like I feel for him? I hope not. If he does, he's so confused it's making him crazy. I know that from experience because I think I'm going crazy also.

Edward finds us a spot and we exit the car, not speaking. I'm dragging behind my siblings, lost in my own head. A cold rain is coming down, not quite sleet. I smell the sweet torture that is Patrick, walking behind me as he comes in before the first bell. I don't turn, continuing to pretend. Honestly, I'm savoring the scent as much as I can without tempting my bloodlust. My siblings are in conversation, ignoring me as I work to put one foot in front of the other. Sweet Patrick. Him and Jasper would've been good friends. I know it. I could honestly see them talking about football…or living in the south…or even hunting. I cross the street, less than four feet from the opposite curb when a vision hits.

_Patrick and I are lying down beside each other…on a road. His eyes are glazed over and there's blood coming from a cut near his hairline. "Are you ok?" he whispers. I nod, swallowing the venom and biting back the growl building inside of me, as I smell the sweet blood flowing from the cut._

What? Where did that vision come from? I snap out of it as I hear a car horn honking and brakes locking up. Something hits me from behind as I turn to see a large SUV sliding in my direction. I was off balance…one foot actually in the air to take my next step…and someone with a good head of steam hit me, because it would take one hell of a tackle from a human to knock me down. And it had to be a human…my family is in front of me.

Of course the best tackler in Idaho was behind me. Patrick. I immediately stop breathing, remembering my vision. "Are you ok?" he whispers softly. I nod, the venom collecting in my mouth. We're lying on the ground, heads in the gutter of the road. Edward immediately comes to our aid. "Are you two alright?" he ask. I see his eyes blackening, though he appears in control. Emmett and Bella are watching from a short distance away. Emmett's obviously not breathing. I nod. "Alice's hurt," Patrick slurs, pointing to the curb. Oh. OH. My head, when Patrick tackled me, struck the concrete curb and crushed it like a sledgehammer. Edward chuckles. "That was already there Patrick," Edward lies. Patrick doesn't say a word, but reaches up. I think he's going to caress my face and I relax, preparing to actually savor it. Instead, he reaches into my hair and pulls something out. It's a pebble of concrete. "Bullshit," he mutters, his words slightly slurred. "Language Patrick," Edward says, a little too harshly for my liking, "Alice is fine…how are you?"

Patrick sits up slowly and touches his head, his middle finger coming away slightly tinged with blood. "It feels like everything's underwater," he mumbles. Edward peers closely at him. "Pupils are pinpoint," Edward whispers, to low for human ears, "speech is slurry…I think he has a concussion. We need to get him to Carlisle." Well, Edward _has_ been to medical school. I'll take his word for it. "Someone call an ambulance," I say to the crowd that has gathered. "No," Pat says, trying to stand up, "I'm fine…no hospital." "You have a concussion, Patrick," Edward warns. "What are you, a fucking doctor?" Patrick says harshly. Edward doesn't flinch. "Language Patrick," he corrects, trying to be patient, "and no…I'm not. However, our father is." Patrick turns and looks at me. "I was right," he mumbles, "spoiled little rich girl." I frown, his words stinging though I should've expected it after the way I've acted. "Now, now Patrick," comes Edward, "name calling isn't necessary." Patrick rolls his eyes and tries to stand again.

"The ambulance will be here in a moment," Edward says, trying to stop him, "sit still." "I said no," Patrick growls. Oh shit…here comes that temper I've heard about. Another person comes up. Tall, black, built like a tree stump. "You ok Pat?" comes the unknown person. "I'm fine Will," Patrick grumbles, "I just need to get to class." I recognize him. The 'other' Williamson. Will helps him to his feet. Patrick's a little unsteady, but able to stand. "Come on," he says, his words clearer, but still slurred, "let's go so I can clean up before we're late." Will hands him his backpack and they leave." "We need to keep an eye on him," Edward says in a low voice. I nod, finally taking a breath…surprised with Pat's blood in the air, I'm in complete control.

Bella quickly moves up to me and yanks a tissue out of her purse. She immediately begins scrubbing my forehead. "You got blood on you," she comments. I stop breathing the moment her words reach my ears. Carefully Bella wipes my forehead and drops the Kleenex into the gutter out of our reach. "Ok Alice?" Edward asks. I nod and take a breath. I have to fight the urge now to jump down that drain, pick up the tissue, and suck on it in my mouth like a piece of hard candy. I shudder at that thought. Edward shudders with me, reading my mind. "Let's get out of here," he says as he throws an arm around my shoulder and leads me inside.

Edward drops me off first period without a word. "Pat's lucky," comes Shawn's voice from behind me, "getting to be that close to you." I roll my eyes. Pervert. "When do I get my chance?" he asks, moving up to walk beside me. "There will be a point in time…in the distant future…in between when both pigs fly and hell freezes over," I reply. "During that short period…you can have your chance." He fumes and storms away from me. I get to my seat, ignoring the stares from my classmates. Word travels fast. I lay my head down on the desk, shaken. I was so deep in my thoughts, I didn't even realize I had walked into traffic. What would've happened had that car struck me? We would've been exposed…that's what. I'm such an idiot! Is Pat ok? How much longer is this period? I look at the clock. We're only halfway done.

_I'm sitting in a hospital room. It's dark outside. Patrick is lying in the hospital bed, his eyes closed. He's breathing slowly and deeply. He's asleep. The cut on the side of his head has been stitched. He looks peaceful, just like when I would watch him sleep in his own bed._

I snap out of my vision, fighting a gasp. A movement catches me from the door. What's Bella doing here? She's whispering to the teacher. The teacher nods and motions to me. Shaking, I grab my backpack and hurry as fast as prudent to follow her. "What's going on?" I ask as we hurry towards the front door. "Patrick collapsed during class," Bella says quickly, grabbing my arm. It's a good thing too…I was about to start running. "He should already be at the hospital." Edward called Carlisle, then Esme…she checked us out of school by telling them Carlisle wanted you examined also." I nod, still fighting the urge to run. We get to the Volvo where Edward and Emmett meet us. Emmett pulls me to him in a bone-crushing hug. "He's going to be alright," Emmett whispers in my ear. "Let's go," I beg Edward. He nods and we get in the car.

I'm a nervous wreck. "Did the car hit him?" I ask. Edward shakes his head. "I think the concussion was caused by either his head striking the curb or his head striking yours," he says flatly. I feel my bottom lip quivering, remembering the blood Bella wiped off of my face. Emmett pulls me to his chest. "It's ok Alice," he whisper, soothing my hair, "he's tough." "Tough…but human," I whisper. Edward nods in agreement. "I felt the same way about Bella," he says softly. Bella takes his free hand and squeezes it tightly.

"It can't be too serious," Bella says, trying to comfort me, "I mean, I got tackled by a vampire and all I had was a minor concussion." "You only had a minor concussion because I was very careful with you," Edward replies, his eyes locking on mine in the rearview mirror. "I'm guessing Patrick had to hit Alice pretty hard to move her."

"How the hell _did_ he move her?" Emmett asks. "Simply physics," Edward replies, "Alice was without her sight and hearing which means she wasn't expecting it. She also was standing on one foot." He pinches the bridge of his nose. "Look at it like this," Edward goes on, "if Patrick had ran into a parked car, he couldn't have moved it. However…set that same car up on its nose." "It's more off balance," Bella replies. "Exactly," Edward continues, "our kind…like anything else…_can_ be moved under the right circumstances. Still, he would've had to hit Alice _very_ hard. And with that force…" He lets it drop.

Edward doesn't have to say any more. We all get it. Patrick made an outstanding tackle…without a helmet…and his head struck either a concrete curb or a hard as stone vampire. In all honesty, he's lucky he walked away. I'm reconsidering everything I've thought about Patrick. He's not the typical high school kid that's for sure. It's one thing for someone in my family to do what he did. It wouldn't harm us. Patrick could've been killed.

Edward beats me out of the car, blocking me from getting out. "Alice," he says softly, "we need to keep up appearances." I nod, swallowing thickly. "Emmett," Edward continues, "carry her…like she may be injured." Edward turns back to me. "You have a headache and feel a little dizzy," Edward explains, "that's the story. Carlisle will do a quick mock exam and clear you. Got it?" I nod again. We move at human speed to the door of the emergency room. "Can I get some help please?" Edward asks, calmly and politely. Several students are already in the waiting room. "Alice Cullen," Edward says to the receptionist, "Dr. Cullen's daughter. She was also in the...incident…with the football player." The receptionist, nearly drooling at Edward, nods and pages Carlisle. "Is she really hurt?" I hear an unknown girl whisper. "Probably," comes another female voice, "Pat probably hit her pretty hard knocking her out of the way." "Pat Williamson can tackle me like that _anytime_," comes the first voice followed by an array of giggles as I fight the urge to roll my eyes.

Emmett starts moving as their words run through my brain. I was REALLY close to Patrick. So close I could feel the heat radiating off of him and feel his body through his clothes. Firm for a human, but still soft. The feeling I got when I thought he was going to touch my cheek send a shiver up my spine and a flood of warmth down my…BAD ALICE! Emmett carries me into the emergency room where Carlisle is standing. He points to an exam room and the entire family files in.

Carlisle listens to Edward explain the events without comment. "Alice, that was very careless," he whispers after Edward is done, keeping his voice low. I nod and let my chin drop. "I'm sorry Carlisle," I whisper. "It wasn't her fault," Edward says, defending me, "she was almost across the street when she had a vision. A vision of…well, what actually happened." "Didn't give you much warning, did it?" Carlisle comments. "Pat made a decision to try to help Alice," Emmett says with a shrug, "and the vision gave her warning he was going to bleed. If you ask me, it worked out ok." "No it didn't Emmett," Edward replies, "we were very close to exposure." "The curb?" I question. Emmett shakes his head. "I handled it," he replies, "it looks like it's been broken for a while. I've gotten good at hiding stuff like that." He says this while giving Edward a knowing look. Emmett was the one that hid the evidence when Edward saved Bella from Tyler's van.

"But what about Patrick," I ask. "Patrick…suspects something," Edward says, staring at the wall. I'm guessing he's hearing his thoughts. "He's mulling over in his mind all that he knows about you…and us." "Shouldn't be that hard to convince though," Emmett says with a shrug. Edward shakes his head. "He was suspicious before this," Edward says absently, "the curb and the fact Alice felt so cold and hard to him was just the icing on the cake. He's noticed how Alice's eyes change colors…and that we never eat…and we're absent when the weather is nice." Edward drops his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. "He's also probably more stubborn than Bella. He's thinking how tackling Alice was like trying to tackle the goal post." Emmett chuckles at this. "What do we do?" Bella ask. Carlisle ponders, then turns to me. "We do the same thing we did with Edward," he replies, "we let the person he's closest to decide." Damnit, that means me. "Think it over everyone," he says, "I need to go check on Patrick…I mean Pat," he says, throwing me a wink. "And Alice," he says before opening the door, "your mother and I will support you in whatever you decide."

"Girl time," Bella says, glaring at Edward and Emmett. Edward starts to protest but Bella holds up her hand. "You've had your say Edward," she cuts him off, "and so has Emmett. I think it's mine turn to talk." Emmett shrugs. Bella smiles at Edward. "I know you like to be part of the decisions," she says, "but I think I'm best suited for this conversation." "Better than me?" Edward asks. "Bella…I'm the only one who's ever been in Alice's position." She nods in agreement. "You're right," she says, "but Alice knows what she feels." "ME on the other hand," she continues, "I'm the only one who's ever been in _Patrick's_ position." Edward nods in agreement quickly. Anything Bella wants, Bella usually gets. "One condition," he says, "we need to know as soon as a decision's made." He turns away from Bella and to me. "This way, we can be prepared for whatever action you take…regardless of your decision." He kisses Bella on the cheek, then walks to the door. "The same goes for the rest of us Alice," he says in his parting words, "we will support you in whatever you decide." Emmett nods in agreement. Great. No pressure or anything.

What do I do? I mean, he's suspicious now. We need to leave. "Hold up," Bella says, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Ok," she says, "just had to shield you." I chuckle, hearing Edward growl softly from down the hall. Now we're in complete privacy. "We need to leave," I say softly. "Why?" Bella ask. "He's suspicious," I reply quickly. Bella ponders this for a minute. "We _could_ leave," she agrees, "or we could tell him." "No," I reply quickly, "we can't do that!" "Why not?" Bella ask. "Humans can't know about us," I reply. Bella rolls her eyes. "I knew," she shot back, "and besides…what's going to happen if another vampire finds out? What are they going to do, tell the Volturi?" I wince at that name. "Alice, can I tell you what I REALLY think?" Bella ask, "without interruption?" I nod. Bella's right…she has been in Patrick's position.

Bella takes a deep breath. "Alice," she begins, "I've been observing both you and Patrick and I can see what's going on." "You two are playing star crossed lovers…and I'm sick of it." She gives me a hard look. "For the first time since Jasper's passing," I flinch at the sound of his name, "you've found someone that you feel for." She pauses for a moment. "I know what Pat's thinking…rather you believe it or not. He loves you…but he doesn't know why. You're in his thoughts…and he doesn't know why. You avoiding him hurts…and again he doesn't know why…but it does. You won't heal because you won't ALLOW yourself to heal. Take a chance, girl. I promise you, he's exactly what you need right now."

I scoff. "Bella," I reply, the sobs threatening to come out, "I'm broken." "That's an excuse and you know it," Bella replies fiercely. "You say 'I'm broken'…before that it was 'he's not Jasper'…before that 'he's my singer'…and before that it was 'he's human'. The only thing you need to worry about is 'is he going to run when he learns vampires are real'." "And honestly," she finishes, "he's already suspicious. If he still thinks about you…from experience, I'd say you're good."

I sit on the edge of the cot and stare at my shoes. "He's just a boy," I whisper. Bella rolls her eyes. "So was Edward," she replies, "and Emmett. You were just a girl when you were changed…I was a little younger than Patrick was when Edward told me. Hell, you were younger than any of us." She comes and sits beside me. "I can't make this decision for you Alice," she says as she leans her head on my shoulder, "but I want you to have what Edward didn't…an understanding of what this is doing to him." "He's hurting?" I ask. Bella nods. "He doesn't understand why he is," she replies, "just that he is. Alice, listen to me. You have tried everything: crying…kicking…screaming…not eat…withdrawing…fighting…hiding in your room…even burning yourself _alive_…and nothing has worked. Why don't you try being in love?" I turn and look at her. "You think I love him?" I ask. She smiles softly. "Yes," she replies, "and I bet I can prove it…if you'll be honest with me." "Ok," I relent.

"Ok," she ask, "I'm going to ask some questions…you have to answer honestly." "Ready?" I nod. "What's your first thought when he walks up to you?" "How good he smells," I reply. "Deeper," Bella pushes, "like when he's as close as we're sitting." "That I wish he would say something," I admit shyly, "I love his accent." She nods. "When you see him from across the room?" "I wonder what he's thinking," I reply. "Ok," she goes on, "what were you thinking…besides not to breathe…when you were lying on the ground earlier." "How warm he felt," I say softly. Bella smiles. "And what were you thinking the night after the game that pushed you over the edge." "Bad Alice," I say, unable to control my grin. Bella grins back. "I thought so," she says with a smirk. "See…you do have feelings for him."

"I'm scared," I admit, "there's too much that could go wrong." "Have you ever seen that trust game humans play?" Bella ask. "You know…the one where someone has to fall backwards trusting someone is going to catch them?" I nod. "Well, that is what's happening now. You have to trust from both ends. You have to trust that not only will you catch HIM if HE falls…but he will catch YOU if YOU fall." "But he's human…" I begin. "Don't say that," Bella interrupts, "didn't I teach you humans can be resilient when they need to be?" I shrug, then nod.

Bella sighs and raises her head off my shoulder. "This is Edward and I all over again," she says sadly, "do you know that?" I shake my head, puzzled. "You are Edward," she explains, "wanting to stay away, but unable." "Pat is me," she continues, "the human bewildered…but still willing to accept what he feels." She smiles. "Me on the other hand…I'm Alice," she says with a smirk, "the voice of reason during the entire fiasco. The one who told Edward to follow his heart and take that chance. The one that told Edward he deserved happiness. Damnit Alice, YOU deserve happiness too!"

Do I? That's the question. "Yes," Bella says, "you do. I know what you're thinking Alice…I can see it on your face." I don't respond and Bella sighs. "Maybe you can convince yourself," she says, "try to 'see' if what I'm saying is true." "Decide you're going to tell Patrick what we are and that you love him…and see what happens." I bite my bottom lip. I don't guess it could hurt.

_I see us together, in bed. I'm on top of him and we're kissing. Oh my god, I'm topless! Well…maybe naked, but I can't tell for sure…the sheet is covering both our lower halves. I see us break off our kiss and me bite my lower lip. Are we having sex? Yep…it's been over two decades, but I remember what sex looks like. I look at Patrick. His eyes open and they're yellow with just a tinge of red around the pupil. He's a vampire…and a damn fine specimen of vampire at that! Wow. He's beautiful as a human, but as a vampire…"Mine," I pant firmly, looking down as my hips continue to grind on top of him. Definitely having sex. "Yours," he agrees…his accent similar to what it is now, but with a hint of post-transformation improvement._

My head snaps forward as the vision leaves me. Instinctively, I cross my arms across my chest, trying to hide the evidence of my arousal. Bella's not fooled. "Bad Alice?" she asks. I nod; surprised to see I'm panting. "Bad Alice," I agree. She pats my leg. I take a deep breath and swallow hard. "I'll tell him," I relent, "after he's well. I'll tell him our secret first…it's only fair. Once he has all the facts, I'll tell him…I love him. It has to be this way. I want him to know everything else before I tell him I love him." Bella nods in agreement. "That's fair," she agrees. I take a deep breath. I love Pat. I just don't know if I have the strength to admit to him I do.


	9. Chapter 8

**Nope, I don't own Twilight. Stephanie Myers does. I only own Patrick (Pat), Amber, Tori, and Pops for now. Ladies, Patrick is still single to this point. I'm taking bids. Not all Prince Charmings are vampires or shape shifters. Humans need love too!**

CHAPTER 8-ALICE'S P.O.V.

Carlisle cleared me and he went back to work while the rest of us hid in his office. We need a plan. "Carlisle and I talked while you two were having your conversation," Edward told Bella and I, "and whatever needs to be done him and Esme are in." "What does Esme think?" I ask. He grins. "Remember how happy she was when I found Bella?" he asks. I nod. "There's your answer," he replies. That good, huh? Edward nods in agreement to my thought. "She is making plans for any outcome," Edward goes on, "even if he doesn't take the news well." I shudder at that. "Alice," he says softly as he places a hand on my shoulder, "you understand our existence. We have the utmost confidence this will work out…but if it doesn't, we'll need to disappear…quickly."

I nod. "My suggestion is he'll stay with us once he gets out of the hospital," Edward says, "Carlisle just wants to keep him overnight here and if everything goes well he could be discharged in the morning." "What about his family?" I ask. Edward gives me a thoughtful look. "Let's just say I know more than you do on this subject right now," he explains, "and him staying with us would be more beneficial than going home."

I'm NOT going to let that slide. "Explain…now," I say firmly. Edward sighs. "His grandfather works the night shift," he explains, "and his parents don't live with them. At home, either Amber would have to take care of him and Tori or he would have to take care of Tori alone…and both have school. Amber and her…family…could take care of Tori while Patrick recuperates with us." I ponder. Today was Wednesday. I take a deep breath and check my visions. I see that it's going to be rainy starting tonight. Also, I see if what I want to suggest is plausible. Yeah, that could work. "Let's shoot for keeping him till Sunday," I suggest, "three nights of observation sounds believable." Edward nods in agreement. "I'm sure Carlisle can handle Mr. Williamson," Edward says, "though Amber might be a problem." His jaw sets in a hard line. "She's not your biggest fan, Alice." "We can change that," Emmett says, "dazzle her as Bella use to say. We'll just tell her Alice was going through a hard time." Bella nods in agreement.

"Do we have food at the house?" I ask. Edward nods. "Esme's already shopping," he says with a smirk, "looking forward to having someone to mother for a little while." Everyone smile at this. "This is my idea," I say out loud, "I want to check on him tonight…just to kind of break the ice…he'll come home with us tomorrow and recoup…and I'm guessing Friday I'll tell him." Nods all around. "Good plan," Bella replies, "you'll probably have to take him somewhere to…demonstrate…that you're telling the truth." Emmett snorts. "She shouldn't have to sleep with him to prove she loves him," he says in a menacing voice. Bella smacks him on the arm. "Prove she's a vampire," Bella says with a roll of her eyes, "pervert." Edward chuckles.

"Relax Alice," Edward says softly, "I know you're nervous…without reading your mind." I give him a funny look. "I was nervous when I decided to tell Bella." Oh. "It's not that," I explain, "it's that…I have to tell him _everything._" I explain. I don't think it, so Edward doesn't know what I mean. Bella does. "She means Jasper," Bella explains to the group. I nod, a lump forming in my throat. "My suggestion," Emmett says softly, "tell him _everything_." "Don't hold anything back." I nod. That will be the hardest part.

Edward's cell phone rings and he answers it. "Carlisle," he says quickly, "are we ready?" I hear Carlisle say "yes" and Edward reply, "We're on our way." He snaps his phone shut. "Show time," he says, leading the way. He speaks quickly as he talks. "Alice, this will probably work better if you don't talk," he explains, "Amber will be in the room and we don't want to get her working against us." I sigh and nod. "Let Carlisle and I do the persuading," he goes on, "this will work." I nod again as we make it to room 212.

We enter the room to find Carlisle there along with Mr. Williamson, Amber, and Tori. Patrick is sleeping. Carlisle continues his conversation with the elder Williamson. "As I was saying Mr. Williamson," he goes in, "I don't think Patrick will have any permanent damage to his brain even with this being his second concussion." I visibly flinch at that. Pat's had a concussion before? Edward nods slowly out of the corner of my eye. "Thank you Doc," Mr. Williamson replies, shaking Carlisle's hand, "so when can my boy go home?"

"Well sir, I wanted to discuss that with you," Carlisle said, "which is why my children are here." He makes the introductions. "This is Emmett, Bella, Edward, and Alice. Alice is the one who's life Patrick saved today." A lie, but humans didn't know that. Or maybe it was the truth…he did save us from exposure. "I remember you," Mr. Williamson says with a twinkle in his eye, "you were at the football game." "Yes sir," I say shyly, going for the charm like I use to with Charlie. Carlisle goes on, "If everything goes well, Pat should be released tomorrow. I was hoping you would allow my family to take care of him through the weekend." "Why?" Mr. Williamson asks, surprised. "Mr. Williamson," Carlisle replies softly, "I understand you are raising Pat and Tori by yourself?" The old man nods. "I don't mean to pry into your personal business," Carlisle continues, "but if you're working, who will keep an eye on Pat? He needs to be woken up every two hours." Another lie…he really only needs to be woken up every two hours for the next day…next two days max. "That's very kind of you Doc," Mr. Williamson says slowly, "but I couldn't put you out like that. "Mr. Williamson," Carlisle says, just a touch of outrage in his voice, "your grandson saved my daughter's life. I assure you, it's the least we could do." "We?" Mr. Williamson asks. Carlisle nods. "My wife, Esme, is eternally grateful for your grandson's heroics." Wow, Carlisle's laying it on thick.

Mr. Williamson is pondering, but he's not completely sold yet. "I guess Amber and her…family…could take Tori," he wonders aloud, "if that's ok with you Amber?" She nods, not speaking. She doesn't look happy. He looks at my siblings. "You three ok with this?" he ask. "Anything for 'The Hitman'," Emmett says with a grin. Mr. Williamson chuckles. "Boy, why aren't you playing big as you are?" he ask. Emmett shrugs. "Blew out both my knees as a freshmen," he lies smoothly, "I'd be out there if I could." This answer appeases the old man. "So if he's released tomorrow…you'll keep him till Sunday?" he asks. "He'll be home in time to kiss Tori goodnight," Bella promises. "And you're sure it's not a problem?" he says, turning to Carlisle. "It would be our pleasure," Carlisle says, "we are truly grateful for what he did." "Alright," Mr. Williamson replies slowly, "if you think it's best." I fight the urge to pump my fist and hiss out "YES!"

We leave and head to the car. "You need to hunt Alice," Edward says as we're leaving, "we all do if there's going to be a human at home." Everyone nods in agreement. Edward starts chuckling. "What?" Bella ask. "Remember how Alice use to have Charlie wrapped around her little finger?" he asks. "Yeah," Bella replies, "could still have it if she'd visit more often." Edward continues to chuckle. "She's almost got Patrick's grandfather," he says with a smirk. Everyone chuckles at this.

"What else was being thought?" Emmett asks. Edward gets serious at this. "Amber wants to know what we're up to," he says seriously, "she's pretty perceptive." I sigh. That girl's going to take some work. "Tori was afraid of Emmett," he continues, "but she thinks Alice is pretty." He ponders for a moment. "The old man's wondering if his grandson is going to get a 'special reward' from Alice for saving her live." Emmett burst out laughing at this. Laughing like he hasn't laughed in years. "If he only knew," Emmett says between laughs. Bella's giggling too, but I don't know if it's from the thought or Emmett's laughter.

"I have a question," Bella ask when she gets over her giggling fit, "why did Pat's grandfather stumble when he said Amber's 'family'?" I think about that for a moment. "Yeah," I add, "Edward you did that too earlier…when you were talking about Tori staying with Amber." Edward gets quiet. "That is Patrick's story to tell," he says, "and you know I won't reveal anything like that."

I ponder only briefly as Edward speeds us home. Honestly, I've got more important things to worry about than Amber and her family situation. Once home, we immediately sprint for the woods, running until we're deep into the tip of Idaho. Emmett lets me have the first grizzly we encounter. Carnivores have better blood…more like humans than the plant eaters. I understand his thinking; he wants me to make sure I'm not thirsty. I also take down an elk also just to be sure. I haven't been this full in a long time. I hurry home and shower. I need to kill some time till I can sneak into Patrick's room. Besides, I want to look nice for him tonight. Once done, I wrap a towel around me and head back into my room.

I have a dirty little secret. I've never been comfortable with my appearance. I think that's why I use to be such a clothes hound. You know…making up for it. Believe it or not, my biggest concern was always my hair. See a vampire can grow hair…slowly. Very slowly. When I met Jasper, nearly twenty years after my transformation, my hair was as short as a boy's. They had shaved it off in the institution to control lice. Combine that with being short and petite, I could pass myself as an adolescent boy if I didn't wear a dress until the 1980's. By the time we met Bella, it was long enough I had the funky spikes that Bella remembers. It was my trademark for a dozen years. Now my hair, when combed flat, would reach my collar. One positive: we only have to shave our legs or wax every ten years or so. Which reminds me…I'm WAY overdue. I hurry to Esme's room and grab the stuff to do that. Another positive: it doesn't hurt, even if done at vampire speed. I wonder…what would Pat like? Should I go Brazilian? Au natural? Make a landing strip…or a little powder puff…BAD ALICE! Anyway, that done I go to my drawer of delicates, picking the first matching set I can find. Plain white. No big deal, nothing's happening tonight. I just want to _feel_ pretty, if that makes sense.

I finish there and go back to my bathroom. I don't even realize what I'm doing, I just fix my hair. I gasp when I'm done; the stylish, funky look I use to have was back. Wow! I move to my closet. This is going to be tricky. I guess I need to shop. Too late for that, I'm going to have to come up with something. Well, I got plenty of jeans. I go with that. It'll work. Not only will it make it easier to sneak in; I won't stand out if I get caught. Now for a top. A red Moscow High School hoodie. It'll have to do. I put on a pair of socks and some hiking boots. Casual…but it'll do. No point in coming on too strong. I dig through my box of nail polish. Damn, most of it's dried out. I don't do this often enough. Where's that black I used the night of the football game? There, on the dresser. That'll match.

I check my watch. Almost time. I go downstairs. Emmett and Edward are watching a movie I don't recognize. Emmett sees me first. "Who are you and what have you done with Alice?" he asks, teasing. "Alice!" Esme exclaims, coming from the kitchen, "You look lovely." I'm wearing jeans and a hoodie…what's so lovely about that? "It's not your outfit Alice," Edward says, picking my brain, "or even your hair. It's the fact you're smiling." Oh…I am.

"Sit?" Edward asks, patting the couch beside him. I sit beside him and he reaches over and grabs a few items off the end table. "Phone," he explains, "in case something happens. Cash…in case Pat doesn't like hospital food. And the keys to Emmett's Jeep." "Why the Jeep?" I ask. Emmett shrugs and Edward answers. "It's less noticeable than any of our other cars," he explains, "since you'll be going in after hours." I look at the three items. I don't even know what happened to my cell phone or car." "We never found your cell," Edward replies for me, "and Nessie is driving your Porsche." Oh, that makes sense.

"Nervous?" Emmett asks. I nod. There's too much that could go wrong. I mean, I've been kind of a bitch since we met. Look at it from his perspective: I looked like I wanted to kill him…then I flirted with him to get him to sit beside me in class…then tried to get him to notice me…then when he did, I withdrew from everyone, including him. No wonder the boy's confused. "He still risked his life to save you," Edward replies again to what I'm thinking, "that should tell you something." I nod. Gods I'm nervous.

"The house is ready," Esme says, "I've got food for him. The guest room is made up…Carlisle has a supply of medicine for him…bandages for that head wound…and a list of instructions." "I hooked up a TV in the guest room," Emmett adds, "so you two can watch movies if you want." "Where's Bella?" I ask. "Emailing Nessie," Edward explains, "she'll be down before you leave." I nod. Did I mention I was nervous? "Alice," Bella says as she came down the stairs, "are you ready?" I shrug my shoulders. I don't know if I'm ready or not.

"Any idea what you're going to say?" she ask. "No," I say weakly, "I was just going to kind of play it by ear." Bella nods. "I'm open to suggestion," I say, my voice just as weak. "Be prepared to fall on your sword," Edward says. Bella nods in agreement. "You HAVE been acting strangely lately and he will be confused. Be prepared to apologize." I nod…that seems fair. "Alice, you're a beautiful, charming girl," Esme adds, "just be yourself." Of course my mother figure would say that. "Just be patient," Bella suggest, "his injury…combine with finding out both that you're a vampire AND you're in love with him…are going to be tough. I'm confident though." She smiles at me. "Don't put out on the first date," Emmett chimes in, "he won't respect you if you do." Esme smacks him in the back of the head and the rest of us laugh. Leave it to Emmett to crack a joke at a time like this.

"I hope he likes lasagna," Esme says hopefully. "I'm sure he will Esme," Bella replies, "I wouldn't eat it now…but when I was human, I remember being impressed with your cooking." Esme beams at her. I fidget slightly, my nerves getting the better of me. "You're going to do fine Alice," Bella says, coming over to hug me, "I just know it." "What if he sends me away?" I ask, my bottom lip quivering, "I have been…weird…to him." "He won't," Bella replies, "remember…I've been in his shoes. I know he'll be happy to see you. He may be defensive at first…but he will be happy to see you." I hug her back fiercely. "It's good to have you back Alice," she whispers in my ear. "I'm not back yet," I whisper back firmly. "She's right," Edward agrees, "she's not back yet." "She's really just learning how to heal…and I'm proud of her." He leans in to hug me. "You're on your way, Alice," he says softly in my ear. I hope so.

I don't really start to freak out until I'm driving to the hospital. Then I'm in full panic mode. My problem is my visions. I don't really trust them. I mean, yeah they're right most of the time. They're just too damn subjective. All it takes is one snap decision and my perfect world is turned upside down. Just like Jasper. I fight back my emotions. _It's time to heal Alice, _I think, _it's time to heal_. Can I? Yes, I think I can heal. As bad as it hurts to remember now, I still feel joy knowing I'm about to see Patrick. Do I want to heal though? I think long and hard about that as I drive. Hard to believe this is the first time I've driven in over twenty years. I don't necessary want to heal…I HAVE to heal. My memory goes back to me trying to burn myself at the stake. That's a low place for anyone to be…even a monster.

I park a block away from the hospital in the parking lot of a strip mall. The streets are quiet. I look at my watch, almost eleven. Visiting hours are over…for humans. I hit the tree line and stay in the shadows till I get to the hospital. I look around, seeing no one at the front desk. At vampire speed, I breeze through the lobby to the stairwell, then to the second floor. I peek out once I've made it to the door. Patrick's room is at the opposite end of the hall. I have to pass the nurse's station. I check my visions. Crap, there's a nurse in his room. I wait, forcing myself to be calm. The other two nurses at the desk are bent over, writing on charts. The nurse in Pat's room opens the door and walks out, her back to me. Quicker than a heartbeat, I breeze past the nurse's station and slide into the door before it can close. No one even looks up.

I pause in the dim light, sniffing the air. Patrick's scent burns me, but I ignore it. All other scents are less fresh. I stay frozen…making sure no one is there. I only hear one heartbeat. We're alone. Silently I ease my head around the corner, smiling as I see him. His eyes are closed, but his breathing tells me he's not asleep. "Who's there?" he ask without opening his eyes. I don't move. "No…really," he says, "I hear you breathing. Who's there?" "Hi Pat," I say shyly, coming around the corner. His eyes open at the sound of my voice, wide with surprise. "Alice?" he asks.


	10. Chapter 9

(A/N Ok, I couldn't torture Alice any longer so I decided to get things moving towards Patrick. I think 20+ years is long enough. Thanks again to Stephycats778 for being my favorite reviewer! The next few chapters are going to be weird b/c Alice is going to have to tell him everything...and by everything I mean everything. I thought the whole "do it like a band-aid...rip it off all at once and get it over with" would be the best way. Anyway, on with the show.)

**I do not own Twilight. Is this disclaimer really necessary? I mean, doesn't everyone know that nobody here owns Twilight?**

CHAPTER 9-ALICE'S P.O.V.

"Yeah," I say shyly, "it's me." "What are you doing here?" he asks. He doesn't sound thrilled. "I came to check on you," I say, moving closer to the bed. "I'm fine," he replies, his eyes cutting away from me. Wow, Bella was right. He's defensive. "I heard you collapsed in first period," I say softly. His mouth tightens. Smooth Alice…make him sound weak. "Sorry," I say quickly, "but I'm not surprised." "You took a nasty blow to the head." He turns back, his gaze going from angry to puzzled. Yeah…he knows something's up.

"So you snuck into the hospital to check on me," he says absently. I nod and bite my lower lip. His eyes soften at this, like Jasper's use to. I'm going to have to remember that. "I wanted to say thank you," I blurt out, "you know…for saving me." "I'm not an asshole Alice," he says in an even voice, "I wasn't going to let you get run over just because you don't like me." I let my head drop. "Still," I say in a weak voice, "you didn't have to." "Yeah…I did," he replies. I look up at him. His eyes have softened even more. "I have to look myself in the mirror every morning," he says softly, "how could I do that if I let something like that happen to…" he lets it drop. I'm not Edward. What is he about to say? _Someone I care about? Someone I love?_ "…Someone when I could do something to stop it?" he finishes. Lie. He was NOT about to finish that way. I don't have to be Edward to see that.

"So how have you been?" I ask, still standing there. "Why do you care?" he asks, keeping his eyes evenly on mine. I open my mouth to respond, then close it. I wasn't expecting that. "You thanked me…and you're welcome," Pat says, crossing his arms across his chest, "you don't have to stick around and make small talk with me." "Maybe I want to," I say absently. He snorts at this. "So when we're in school…the most boring place on Earth…you DON'T want to make small talk," he says, eyes narrowing, "but in a hospital room…that you don't even HAVE to be in…you do?" I nod, biting me lip again. "I don't get you rich girl," he says with a snort. "Maybe there's nothing to get," I say absently. Oh god am I flirting? "Yeah," he says, "there's SOMETHING." "I just haven't figured it out yet." "Try much?" I ask. He nods slowly. So he thinks about me too.

Silence for several moments. "Well," he says quickly, "thanks for coming." I don't move. "That means goodbye," he says the temper I've seen from Patrick coming out. "I'm not going anywhere," I say softly. "Want to bet?" he ask, reaching for the call button. "I want to talk," I say, a little firmer. "What if I don't want to?" he asks. "Then you can listen," I reply. "Oh," he says, "one of THOSE conversations." I roll my eyes. "Can't you just hear me out?" I ask. He sighs and looks up, staring at the top of the opposite wall. "You've got one hour and thirty five minutes," he says firmly. "You're giving me a time limit?" I ask, a little insulted. "I'm not giving you anything," he says with a smirk, "but the nurse's have to wake me up every two hours and that's how much longer it'll be till they come back." I make an 'o' with my mouth and point to the foot of the bed. He raises his eyebrow at me, but moves his leg so I can sit down.

I ease onto the bed. "Seriously," I ask, "how are you feeling?" He sighs dramatically, like he's frustrated. "I've got a nasty headache," he admits, "and that Nazi wearing scrubs won't give me any painkillers." I frown at this. "Other than that," he says, waving his hand dismissively, "I'll live." "Did you hear you're coming home with my family tomorrow?" I ask. He nods. "Amber told me," he replies, "and she's pissed." "Why?" I ask. "Amber doesn't like you," he says. "Because of how I treated you," I add. "Me and her," he admits, "but that's Amber's problem." I raise my eyebrow at him. "Seriously," he goes on, "you didn't surprise me." "Really?" I ask, "because you surprised me." He smirks at this. "Why?" he ask, "because you couldn't bat your eyes and shake your ass to get my attention?" Wow…he's going to be tougher than I thought. "No," I admit, "you're just…different…than what I expected." "You had expectations?" he ask. I nod. "I thought you were suppose to talk and I was suppose to listen," he says, "why am I talking?" He's got a point.

I take a deep breath. "I screwed up," I admit, "I was wrong for how I treated you." He starts to open his mouth, but I hold my hand up to stop him. "I've been dealing with some…personal issues…for a while now and…" I let it drop. "Go on," he replies, leaning back against his pillow. "The truth is…I do like you," I continue, "probably more than you know or than you like me. And that's ok…I pretty much deserve that." I look up at him, his eyes examining me closely. "There's something about you…a connection I feel…and I ran away from that." I pause and look at Patrick. He's leaned back, the head of his bed propped up, with his arms folded across his chest. He looks relaxed, taking it all in. "I'm sorry Pat," I say, letting my eyes drop back down, "I know you probably don't believe that but I will do anything in my power to prove that to you." I look at him. "That's it," I say simply, crossing my fingers in my lap.

"Well, that sucks," he says quickly, "beautiful woman throwing herself at me and I'm too beat up to take advantage of it." "I'm not throwing myself at you," I reply quickly. He laughs. "So 'anything' doesn't mean 'anything'?" "No," I reply, trying to keep my composure, "I mean yes…I mean…hell, I don't know what I mean." He laughs. "I don't believe you," he replies as soon as he stops laughing. I frown. "Why not?" I ask. "Because you're hiding something," he admits. I smile slightly. Perceptive. He didn't say, "I think you're hiding something" he said, "you are hiding something". "We all have secrets," I reply with a shrug. "Touché," he replies, "but I'm not the one attempting to bare my soul tonight." "I'm not trying to bare my soul," I fire back, "I only came to thank you…apologize for my behavior…and tell you I do like you." "Ok," he says with a shrug, "mission accomplished." He then nods at the door.

I groan. A lesser woman would've told him off and stormed out…even after sneaking in. "Why are you being difficult?" I whine. "Because Rich Girl," he fires back, "I'm not everybody else." I sigh and we're silent for several minutes. "How bad is that cut?" I ask, tapping the right side of my head straight above the eyebrow at the hairline, where his cut is located. He shrugs. "Seven stitches," he replies, "it's no big deal." "Ouch," I comment. "I thought chicks liked scars," he says with a grin. "I do," I reply softly, remembering Jasper. Jasper and his beautiful scars. "I say something wrong?" he asks. I look up and lock eyes with him. He's watching me carefully. "No," I reply hesitantly, "why do you ask?" "You got an odd look when I said that," he comments. "I had a friend with several scars," I reply, trying to sound nonchalant. "And they…" he prods. "HE," I correct, "passed on." "Sorry," Pat mumbles, with obvious sincerity. "It's a long story," I add. I don't tell him it's one he's probably going to hear it soon. "Too bad you don't have that long," he replies, looking at the clock.

We're quiet for several minutes. "You don't trust many people," I comment. He shakes his head. "Trust is earned," he replies. "So I'm just shit out of luck?" I ask. He chuckles. "Rich Girl got a potty mouth," he says with a grin. "Only when I'm frustrated," I reply. He smiles at that. Gods I love that smile. "So how do I do it?" I ask, "How do I earn you trust?" "We don't have time to explain that," he replies with a hint of sadness in his voice. "Oh, I could disappear when the Nazi comes back and reappear when she leaves," I reply. "How?" he ask. I smile. "Another secret," he answers for me, "like your other ones." "You up for making a deal?" I ask. He shrugs, then nods. "How about this: you ask, I answer…then I ask and you answer?" "Sure," he replies.

"There IS a catch," I reply. "Isn't there always?" he asks, but I ignore him. "I'm allowed to pass on a question…but if I pass, you're allowed to ask it on a later date." "That would require some trust," he replies evenly. I shrug. "I took a risk coming up here and admitting I have feelings for you," I say softly, "maybe it's time you took a risk." "Ok, then how about I make a stipulation?" he asks. I shrug. "You think you can leave and come back?" he asks. I nod. "Got a vehicle?" he asks. I grin and nod. Not like I need it. "Know where the truck stop is on the edge of town?" "Yeah…" I ask. "Bacon cheeseburger…A1 and tomato only…fries…Pepsi."

My grin widens. Well, they say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. "Anything else?" I ask. "Yeah," he says with a smirk, "a can of Copenhagen." "What's that?" I ask. "Ask the cashier," he says with a shrug. My eyes narrow. "If we're going to be sitting here all night, I need a pinch of snuff." "I'm not buying tobacco…I'm underage." He snorts. "Tell the cashier it's for me…he'll let you." I roll my eyes. "Come on," he says, "please? I'm having a fit over here. Pop's forgot to bring me some. I almost tried to bum a cigarette off one of the Nazi's and pack it in my bottom lip." I snort at this. "I'll see what I can do," I promise. "Great," he says with a smile. I should probably feel bad about this…but I don't. I've stolen cars, forged passports, and even committed murder in my time. What's wrong with contributing to the delinquency of a minor? Though I couldn't think of BETTER ways to contribute…BAD ALICE!

My vision glazes over and I see the Nazi coming. "I'll be back", I whisper, easing towards the door. I time it perfectly: hiding behind the door when she walks in and zipping into the hall before it even closes, never stopping till I get out of the hospital. I go to the truck stop and put the order in. The waitress at the counter gives me a funny look…it's a little late for someone who appears my age to be out…but puts the order in.

I go to the convenience store part and buy him two twenty-ounce Pepsis and go to the counter. "Anything else?" the guy behind the counter says, smiling. Ugh…old perverted guy. He's wearing a nametag that says "Lester". _The Molester_ I add in my head. "A can of Copenhagen?" I ask. "Long or fine cut?" he asks. "Regular?" I ask. I have no idea what he's talking about. He nods. "ID?" he asks. It's obvious he doesn't care…he just wants to know who I am. "Patrick Williamson ask me to get it for him," I gush…batting my lashes, "he's in the hospital you know?" The cashier nods. "Tell Hitman I asked about him," Lester replies. I throw him a beaming smile as he hands me my change. His food is ready and I have a vision as I'm paying. Got to remember the ketchup.

I hurry back and pause again in the stairwell. He's alone, so I rush in. "Mission accomplished," I reply, "and Lester says to tell the Hitman he asked about him." Patrick nods. I pull the bedside tray up and set the bags on it. "I even remembered the ketchup," I beam. He smiles. "Ok," he admits, seeing I got everything…even the tobacco, "I'm impressed." I smile and sit on the edge of his bed again. The food smells horrible, but it helps mask his scent, which makes my mouth water. "Want some of my fries?" he ask. I shake my head. "No wonder you're so skinny," he comments, "you never eat." I don't answer. "Here," he says, trying to hand me a twenty dollar bill. "No," I say, shaking my head, "my treat." He gives me a hard look. "Just because you buy me dinner doesn't mean I'm putting out later," he says, raising an eyebrow. I respond by giving him the finger and he laughs.

"You first," he says, taking a big bite of the cheeseburger. "Why do they call you 'The Hitman'?" I ask. He chews and swallows. "All our plays on defense are in code," he explains, "and I can't explain every one…it would take all night. But for instance, if I said '36 base, cover zero, Hitman...it would mean the tackles line up in the three position…on the guard's outside shoulder…the ends would line up in a six…heads up on the tight end. Cover zero would mean man-to-man coverage for the secondary…and Hitman is our code for a safety blitz." "So they call you 'Hitman' because…" I press. He shrugs. "I knocked a quarterback unconscious on a safety blitz my first game at the position," he replies, "I've been 'The Hitman' ever since." He takes another bite, obviously hungry.

"Why don't I ever see you eat?" he asks. "Pass," I reply. He rolls his eyes. "Why do you wear contacts?" he asks. "Pass," I reply, giving him a wink. He sighs. "Why did you change your hair?" he asks. Wow…he noticed! "I wanted to look nice," I say softly. "You do," he says, in an equally soft voice. I'm on cloud nine now! He noticed!

"Where are your parents?" I ask. He gives me a dark look. "Too personal?" I ask, backpedaling. "No," he says slowly, "we didn't put any stipulations on that one…so it's fair game." He inhales deeply. "My dad's in prison in Alabama doing two consecutive life terms," he says with a shrug, "two counts of murder and two more of attempted murder. He'll never see the light of day."

I gasp. "And you mom?" I ask. He grins mischievously. "She lives with Amber's mom," he replies, "they bat from the other side of the plate." I stare dumbfounded. "I don't speak baseball Pat," I finally admit. He rolls his eyes. "My mom's gay," he says. Oh. "Is that why you live with your grandfather?" I ask. He nods. "Mom doesn't think she can 'teach me about being a man'," he admits, "so my granddad took the job." "And you're sister?" I ask while I've got him on the subject. He shrugs. "I don't care what two consenting adults do in their own bedroom," he replies, "but my granddad's not that open minded." He takes another bite. I can tell he wants to end this topic.

"Dr. Cullen adopted you?" he asks. "How did you know?" I ask. He rolls his eyes. "He doesn't look even close to old enough to have kids your ages," he replies, "even though you all do resemble each other." "Yes to being adopted…pass to our resemblance." He nods, finishing his burger. "When is a 'later date'?" he asks. "Friday or Saturday," I promise. "Why?" he ask. "I want you healed up before we talk seriously about my situation," I reply honestly. He nods at this. "You've got something big to tell me," he says. It wasn't a question. I nod. "It's big to me," I admit. He gives me a thoughtful look, but lets it drop.

"Why me?" he ask. I give him a puzzled look. "Why pick me to bare your soul to?" I smile. "Connection, remember?" I reply, throwing him a wink. Surprisingly, he smiles back. "Are you tired?" I ask. He shakes his head. "I've been sleeping off and on all day," he admits, "I'd be awake even if you weren't here."

"Why don't you date?" I ask. He seems uncomfortable with this. "I don't buy into the whole high school cliché," he says slowly, "I'm here to pass and get a scholarship somewhere else." "Why?" I press. "Tori," he admits, "I can go to college and either make it into the NFL or get a degree I couldn't afford on my own. I don't want to be mining or working some rich guy's cattle ranch my entire life." I nod at that. "What's that got to do with dating?" I ask. He shakes his head. "Eyes on the prize," he says evenly, "I don't need some stereotypical airhead cheerleader getting knocked up and chaining me down here."

"Amber thinks you need to get laid," I comment. He laughs at that. "That an offer Alice?" he ask. I smile but don't comment at first. "It would be detrimental to your recovery," I finally say. If he only knew…it might give him another concussion. He laughs. "Amber thinks it would mellow me out some," he replies. I laugh with him, keeping any naughty thoughts out of my head. I didn't miss he called me 'Alice' and not 'Rich Girl'.

"Drink beer?" he asks. I shake my head. "You?" I ask. He shrugs and nods. "A little," he admits. "Anything worse?" I ask. He shakes his head. "We get tested," he explains, "even a little pot would ruin my chances." I nod. He's finished his fries and one of the Pepsi's. He gets a rather large pinch of tobacco and puts in on the inside of his lip, on the left. "So you've never had a girlfriend?" I ask. He smiles. "Not since junior high," he admits, "you?" "No," I tease, "never had a girlfriend." He rolls his eyes. "And pass on the boyfriend question," I add quickly. He takes a deep breath, then nods.

"Would you?" I ask, "have a girlfriend?" He spits in the empty bottle and ponders my question. "Not any girlfriend," he admits, "she would have to be one-of-a-kind." I smile at that. "What about you," he ask, "I haven't heard about you dating." I shrug, then give him a knowing smile. "I would," I admit, "but the right one hasn't come along." He gives me another thoughtful look, then nods. "So do you _like_ football?" Patrick asks, stressing like. I shrug. "A little," I admit, "it's more interesting when you know someone who's playing." Another smile. I love this Patrick…not so guarded like he usually is.

We spend the remainder of the hour discussing trivial things. I find myself doing things I never thought I would do again without even thinking about it. I laugh. I touch his arm. I wink. I flirt. The smile doesn't leave my face. Damn, that voice does things to my female parts! He seems interested in meeting Esme, thrilled at the prospect of home cooking. I find underneath the strong, silent persona he's known for much more than just "The Hitman". I find someone I believe worthy of my heart. Now I have to get ready to let him into said heart.


	11. Chapter 10

**Nope...still don't own Twilight.**

CHAPTER 10-ALICE'S P.O.V.

My vision of me sitting there watching him sleep didn't come true. I'm not surprised…when I had it; I was only planning to go check up on him without his knowledge. What I got was even better…Patrick in an honest conversation. I left when he finished with the tobacco, taking the trash with me to hide the evidence. He swore he wasn't tired, but agreed to humor me. I did nothing more physical then gently squeeze his hand before leaving. Surprisingly, he didn't flinch from the cold.

My family was waiting for me when I got home. "Well?" Bella ask as soon as I closed the front door. "Step one," I reply, "mission accomplished." "He accepted your apology," Edward said, grinning his crooked grin. I nod and bounce up and down happily. "Sit Alice," Esme calls from the couch, "we want to hear all about it." Everyone moves to the couch and Esme gives Carlisle a look. "Maybe just us girls?" Esme ask sweetly. Carlisle and Edward shift uncomfortably, like they want to be part of this conversation. Emmett, for once, got the hint. "I'll go hunt again," he says, "since he'll be here in a few hours. Better safe than sorry." Esme smiles and nods at him.

"Carlisle," I say softly, "Patrick was complaining about having a really bad headache…do we have that covered when he gets here?" I grin wiry, remembering him talking about the 'Nazi in scrubs'. Carlisle gives me a puzzled look. "I left orders for Tylenol in case he did," he replies. "Carlisle," Edward chimes in, "he probably takes a lot of that…for sore muscles, headaches, sprains…things like that." "He'll probably need something a little stronger." Carlisle looks at Edward thoughtfully. "Sports medicine, remember?" Edward says, the corner of his mouth turning up in a smile. Carlisle nods in reply. "You're right, of course, Edward," he replies, "I should've thought of that. I'll go get him something while you ladies talk." "I'll go with you," Edward says. They jump up and leave.

"Now," Esme says after Bella gets the telltale narrowing of her eyes letting us know our thoughts are shielded, "tell us what happen." I cover everything, even going to get him a cheeseburger. I skip buying tobacco because I figure Esme wouldn't approve, but other than that I leave nothing out. "So you're going to tell him tomorrow?" Esme ask. I nod. "As long as he seems ok," I reply, "that he's healing from the injury." "Did you ask how he got his first concussion?" Bella ask. I shake my head. Huh…and I had wanted to know too. "I'm just curious," she admits, "I hope he's not as clumsy as I was." I shake my head quickly. "I've seen him move," I reply, "on the field I mean…he's not a vampire obviously, but for a human…" I let it drop. "Bad Alice?" Bella ask, teasingly. "Not yet," I reply, sticking my tongue out at her.

"Carlisle says he's a nice young man," Esme says happily, "a little rougher around the edges, but so was…" she lets it drop. I know what she was going to say, _so was Jasper at first._ "Edward says he's protective of Alice," Bella replies, "he thought Edward was being mean to Alice and stepped in to intervene." I nod. "That's not protective," Esme says absentmindedly, "that's foolish." I shake my head. "He was afraid," I admit, "Pat I mean…he just seemed to swallow it. Like his instincts were telling him Edward was more dangerous than he looked…but he buried it deep and still tried to protect me." Esme's smile returns at that. "That's good," she replies, "that means he does care."

"Are you going to sleep with him?" Bella ask. I gawk. "No Alice," she says quickly, "I mean are you going to lie next to him…like Edward use to when I was human." Oh. I shrug. "I haven't thought about it," I admit. I've thought about a lot of things, but simply lying next to him wasn't one of them. "If you haven't yet," Bella says, "don't. Don't make things anymore complicated than they already are…just go with them." "Obviously they're will be some limitations, but they can be worked around." "How's your thirst around him?" Esme ask. I shrug. "Still there," I reply, "but getting better." "Edward said it was always there," Bella chimes in, "but it will get easier." I nod. "So he'll convalesce here today and you'll tell our secret to him tomorrow?" Esme ask. "That's the plan," I reply. "And the other…?" Bella ask. That, to me, is going to be the hard part.

"Do you think maybe I'm laying too much on him at once?" I ask. "I mean I'm going to tell him what we are…my life story…what happened to Jasper…what I've been doing the last twenty years…and that I love him." Esme agrees, "that is a lot to take in," while Bella ask, "you're going to tell him _everything_?" I look at Bella. "Alice," she says, "you haven't even told us all everything." I let my head drop. Esme immediately comes over and wraps her arms around me. "You're right Alice," she says softly, rubbing her hand down my back trying to soothe me, "you want him to be here because he _wants_ to be here. That means he has to know everything." Bella nods in agreement.

"I just didn't know if you were up to telling that part," she admits. "I don't know either," I reply softly, "but I'm going to try." "He will accept you," Esme says sweetly, "I have no doubt." "I wish I had your confidence," I mutter. She kisses the top of my head. Bella's phone rings and she answers. "Ok, we'll be ready…love you Edward," is all she says before ending the call. "He'll be released in a couple of hours," Bella said, "you might want to get ready." I look down. I'm still wearing what I wore to see him last night. "I'll pick you something out," Esme says. "Casual," I reply, "Pat seems to like casual." Esme smiles. "I can handle casual," she replies.

I bolt up the stairs and into the shower, getting it done at vampire speed. I wrap my towel around me and fix my hair, this time letting it fall to my collar and feather at the ends. Not as spiky as I had it last night, but more of a soft look. I hurry to my room and look on my bed. Esme has me jeans, a white button up, and a snug black vest. I dig through my drawer, finding matching pink this time. This makes me smile. I dress quickly; thankful the black in my vest means I won't have to change my nail polish. I start to put on a pair of sandals, but decide I need to dress warmer…for appearance sake. I wear the hiking boots I wore last night. A little mascara, a little lip-gloss, and I'm ready to go.

I pace around my room to pass the remainder of the time. Now, with nothing else to do, I'm getting nervous. I thought last night, just getting him to listen to me, would be the hardest part. I was wrong…the hardest is yet to come. I had to tell him our secret. I had to share the memory of Jasper. I had to tell him I love him. I'm freaking out. I begin to pace faster. If I needed to breathe, I would be hyperventilating. There are times in your existence that you mark as important. Special times. Memorable times. Times that define who you are and the path you walk. This weekend was going to be one of those times.

______________________________________________________________________

The ride to the hospital is silent. A light rain was falling, not quite cold enough for ice. That would probably happen tonight. Edward, Carlisle, and I were the only ones in the Mercedes. No conversation, no last minute instructions. They seemed to know I needed this time to myself. I appreciate it. We pull up in front of the hospital. Patrick and an orderly are standing there waiting. Patrick is wearing jeans and his letterman jacket. He has a black knit cap pulled over his head. His eyes, without his red hair visible to contrast with them, look even more mesmerizing. Glistening from the light rain, he looks even more beautiful than when he is at school.

The orderly doesn't look happy, leaning over the empty wheelchair. He calls Carlisle off to the side. "I'm sorry Dr. Cullen," he whispers though Edward and I can hear him plain as day, "but he refused to let me wheel him out. He said…and I quote…'my mother fucking mama will come down here and ride in that damn thing before I will'." I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. Carlisle gives Patrick a reproachful look. Patrick doesn't even notice. I don't even know if he heard the exchange. He's only looking at me, his eyes a little wary. I smile back, trying to put him at ease. "Are you ready Pat?" Carlisle asks. He breaks eye contact with me, turns to Carlisle, and nods. Edward gets his overnight bag and puts it in the trunk. Carlisle opens the passenger's side rear door for him. He gives Carlisle a look (I can't tell what kind…his back is to me), shrugs, and gets inside. Carlisle closes it and we get in.

I sit in the back with Patrick. "Damn," Patrick comments softly, "I wish I felt well enough to ask you if I could drive?" "Why?" I ask curiously. He turns and looks at me, his eyes harder. "Because Little Rich Girl," he says, his words guarded, "this is a Mercedes Benz. Most people never get the opportunity to ride in one of these…much less drive one." I let my head drop. "Alice," Edward whispers too low for human ears, "remember…he's not like us in more ways than one." I give him a quick nod, then turn back to Patrick. "I'm sure Carlisle will let you test drive it when you're feeling better," I offer. Carlisle nods in the rearview mirror. "Thanks," Patrick mumbles. "Are you hungry Patrick?" Carlisle asks, trying to ease the tension, "my wife made you lasagna." "Starving," he replies, "I haven't eaten anything since…last night." The right side of Edward's mouth turns up in a grin. _He's covering?_ I think to Edward, _He didn't mention my visit because he doesn't know if Carlisle knew I was sneaking in?_ Edward drops his chin slightly, affirming my thought.

My heart swells at that. Patrick is trying to protect me, rather he knows he needs to or not. I turn in the seat so I'm facing him, my leg folded under me. I bite my bottom lip and reach out to take his hand. He turns quickly, his eyes puzzled, as I do. He looks really confused, but he doesn't pull his hand away. "Enjoy your bacon cheeseburger?" Carlisle asks, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Patrick swallows hard and replies, "Yes sir…it was good." "My family doesn't have many secrets," Carlisle says, keeping his tone light, "and I wouldn't wish hospital food on anyone." I giggle at that. "Then thank you for giving her permission to visit," Patrick replies honestly. Carlisle shrugs. "She insisted," he comments, "and I didn't see any harm…you DO need to eat."

Patrick turns to look at me at the words 'she insisted'. I smile back. He gives my hand a gentle squeeze. "Thanks," he mouths. "Welcome," I mouth back. He smiles at this. I love this smile. Honest…open…showing the good natured side of him he usually keeps hidden. We pull up in front of the house and we all exit the car. "I'll get your bag," Edward says. Patrick opens his mouth to protest and, without really thinking, I grab his arm. "Let him," I say quickly, looking up at him, "I'll introduce you to the rest of my family." He gives me a curious look, then shrugs. "Ok," he says simply.

Everyone is waiting in the living room, the smell of lasagna in the air. I hope it smells good to him…to me it smells awful. "I'm sure you know Bella and Emmett," I say pointing to my other siblings. He nods. "I have a couple classes with them," he replies. Bella stand and walks towards us…graceful, yet at human speed. "It's nice to meet you finally Patrick," she says sweetly as she offers him her hand. He smiles and takes it. Either the cold doesn't bother him or he's ignoring it. "Likewise," he replies.

"I'm Emmett," my brother's voice booms from behind her. "Patrick," the human replies, "but y'all me Pat…only my mom calls me Patrick…when I'm in trouble." God, he said "y'all"…sexy! Emmett grins. "You had a good season," Emmett comments, "too bad your team sucks." Patrick stiffens at the comment. "My defense is just fine," he snaps, "it's not my fault we don't have a real quarterback." I stiffen, sensing the edge in Patrick's voice. "There's a freshman coming up," Emmett says causally, "kid named Sanchez." "He's young, but I'd like to see the coach try him under center." "How's his arm?" Patrick asks quickly. Emmett shrugs. "Not as strong as Shawn's," Emmett admits, "but he can at least hit a wide open receiver. Looks cooler under fire too." "He's never been under fire from my guys," Patrick says with a smirk, earning a booming laugh from Emmett. "I like him," Emmett goes on, "give him a target with good hands and a decent running game, you guys could finish better than 6-5." Both Patrick and I wince. He winces at being reminded at last years record; I wince because I didn't see any other games. "If he can do what you say he can," Patrick says evenly, "I'LL line up and catch the ball for him." This gets a big grin from Emmett.

"Emmett…manners!" comes Esme's voice as she walks from the kitchen to the living room. Emmett ducks his head. "I'm Esme," she says sweetly, offering her hand. "Pat," Patrick answers quickly taking her hand, "Dr. Cullen has talked a lot about you." She beams at this. "She's right," Bella says, "where are our manners…can I take your coat Pat?" Patrick shrugs off his jacket and hat, his stitches now clearly visible. "Please…sit," Esme offers.

Patrick sits on the edge of the couch. Not waiting for an invitation, I sit beside him, close enough our legs are touching. If he seems put off by it, he doesn't let it show. "I wanted to thank you personally for your assistance yesterday," Esme says sweetly, "I will be eternally grateful." Patrick drops his eyes and shrugs, getting quiet like he usually does when someone brags on him. Esme's not put off by it. "I'm serious," she continues, "you really saved the day." "If something had happened to Alice…" she lets it drop. "You're welcome Mrs. Cullen," Pat mumbles. "Please," she says quickly, "call me Esme?" He looks up at her, quiet for a moment. "You're welcome…Esme," he says finally. She rewards him with a beaming smile.

"You must be hungry," she says quickly as she stand, "come." Patrick shrugs and stands to follow her. I stand too and take his hand. Once again, his reaction is unreadable but he doesn't stop me. Bella is grinning so widely I wonder if her face is going to split. Did I look like that when Edward would hold her hands…when they first met? I look at Edward, who gives me a nod. I guess I did.

Esme fixes him a large plate and sits him at the bar. I get him a soda. "I'm eating alone?" he asks. "We've already eaten," I say quickly, "but I'll sit with you." He looks quickly at the pan of lasagna, noticing the only portion missing is the one on his plate. "Pass," I whisper. He gives me a hard look and releases my hand. "Tomorrow…I promise," I add. He nods. "You're angry," I say sadly. "I'm a little put out she made all this if I'm the only one going to eat it," he replies, "I could've had whatever y'all had." I suppress a grin. I can't see him drinking blood from a grizzly bear. "It's ok," I reply, "just eat…we'll discuss it, I promise." He relaxes slightly and digs in.

Bella swore Esme was a wonderful cook and from the looks of Patrick, Bella was right. Honestly, I wonder who let the pack in. Patrick ate like a refugee, two helpings of lasagna and three pieces of fresh baked garlic bread Esme had for him. Part of me was disgusted…it does smell awful…while the other part of me was relieved he ate so well.

I take his dishes before he can protest once he's done. "I'll show you to your room," I say quickly, "Carlisle wants you get some rest today." "I spent all day in bed yesterday," he replies sourly. I shrug. "Now you see why we wanted you here," I reply quickly, "that way we know you'll get some rest." He gives me a thoughtful look and I realize I said 'we' and not 'he'. "Come on," I say, taking his hand again. He gives me a small smile this time and follows. All eyes are on us as I escort him through the living room. Everyone is smiling except Emmett. He's smirking. _Smack him for me, Edward?_ I think. We get almost to the top of the stairs before I hear a 'WHAP' followed by a howl of pain from Emmett.

I open the door to the first room. "This is where you'll be sleeping," I explain. He walks in slowly, taking it in. "Not bad," he says softly. I smile behind him. "The bathroom is to you left," I explain, "towels are in the cupboard." He nods then walks to the dresser. It's bare of decorations, but has all the supplies Carlisle brought from the hospital. "Can you give me a hand?" Pat asks, picking up one of the large Band-Aids. I give him a puzzled look. "I'm not suppose to get these stitches wet," he explains. "Oh," I reply, "of course."

Patrick sits on the edge of the bed and hands me the bandage. I bite my lower lip and move slowly towards him. I stand in front of him, my left leg between his knees and my right on the outside so that his left leg is between both of mine. The warmth from him radiating to that part of my body gives me a strange shiver of pleasure. I sweep his bangs up out of the way and take his wrist so I can put his hand there to keep his hair out of my way. My skin tingles in contact with his and I immediately stop breathing. I'd swear he did too.

Once his hand is in place I peel the back off the adhesive and gently put it into place. You can tell Carlisle repaired the wound…not a drop of blood in sight. I still don't breathe, just in case. We're eye-to-eye with him sitting and swear I'm fighting the urge to attack him. Not in a feeding frenzy kind of way…in a 'Bad Alice' kind of way. He smiles softly. "Thanks," he whispers, his warm, sweet breath driving my senses haywire. "You smell wonderful," he whispers. If I could blush, I would. "What is that you're wearing?" I swallow thickly. "Tomorrow," I whisper, "you'll know tomorrow." He nods. "Alice?" Bella calls from the hallway, "can we see you downstairs?" "Go," I say with a smile, thankful to have my concentration broken, "get a shower." "I'll come up when you're done." He smiles back and nods.

"Sorry to ruin the enchanted moment," Bella whispers, "but we wanted to be cautious…since you were dealing with a wound." "We know you're not as practiced as Carlisle or Edward." I nod. "Honestly Alice," Edward said as soon as I got downstairs, "if I had thought about it I would've handled that before he went up." "It's no problem Edward," I say quickly, "Carlisle had it cleaned up…and to be honest, I was only holding my breath as a precaution." "I honestly felt in control." He squeezes my shoulder. "Very nice work Alice," he says with a smile. "Nervous?" Esme ask. I nod. "You're doing fine Alice," Carlisle says softly.

"What's he thinking?" I ask Edward. Edward ponders. "He wasn't lying in the kitchen," Edward says finally, "he was more upset he was troubling us than he was about you keeping secrets." "He's not suspicious?" Emmett asks. "He is," Edward admits, "probably more so than Bella was." "He's good at hiding what he thinks to the outside world." "Am I coming on too strong?" I ask softly, "holding his hand and all?" Edward shakes his head. "He's confused by it," he replies, "and that's to be expected considering what has transpired. He's confused…but he does like it." I smile brightly. "Just be yourself Alice," Bella suggest, "you're doing just fine."


	12. Chapter 11

**I don't feel like I own Twilight, so I guess I still don't own Twilight. **

CHAPTER 11-ALICE'S P.O.V.

Once I heard the shower cut off, I gave him plenty of time to get ready for bed before I went back. Edward has surprised me by handing me a glass of water before I went back up. "His head still hurts," he explains, "he'll need it to take something." I nod and took it with me.

"Yes," Patrick said softly as I knocked. I peek in the room slowly. Patrick is wearing a pair of gym shorts and a Moscow High t-shirt. He's towel drying his hair. "I brought you a glass of water," I say softly, "in case your head still hurts." He nods. "Yeah," he admits, "it's still screaming…but your dad said that was normal." I nod. "You've had a concussion before?" I ask. He nods. "Last year, during summer practice," he replies. He opens the prescription and shakes out two pills, tossing them into his mouth and chasing them with the water I hand him. "Thank you," he says with a smile, "though I'm probably going to regret that." "Why?" I ask. He shrugs and sits on the edge of the bed. "They're probably going to knock me out," he admits.

I move over to the dresser and scan Carlisle's instructions. "I'm suppose to wake you every two hours until midnight," I explain, "then let you sleep after then." He chuckles. "You're going to do that?" he ask. I smile and nod. "Why?" he ask. "Because," I reply simply, "I want to."

"So what do we do now?" he ask. I shrug. "Emmett made sure you had a TV and a bunch of movies," I reply, "we could do that." Patrick shakes his head. "Headache," he replies, "a flickering TV probably wouldn't help." We're quiet for a minute. "Up to talk?" he asks hopefully. I smile and nod. He scoots back onto the bed and adjusts the pillows so they're behind him. I sit on the opposite side of the bed, on the edge. I want to be close to him…but not too close. Ok, I'd rather be curled up next to him but I want to give him space.

"Remind me to tell your mom that lasagna was awesome," he says with a grin. I smile. "She'll appreciate that," I reply…knowing she heard him. "What will you want for dinner?" I ask. He shrugs. "I can eat leftovers," he replies. I nod.

Our conversation stalls. "Why are your hands so cold?" he asks. "Pass," I reply. He gives me a funny look. "They just are," I add hoping that will satisfy him. He shrugs. "Does it bother you?" I ask. He shakes his head. "If it were freezing in her it might," he admits, "but if the room's a normal temperature, you hands feel nice…" he lets it drop. "What do you mean?" I ask, sensing he's got more to say. "It's hard to explain," he admits, "but you know how when you're lying in bed with your head on your pillow?" I nod. No I don't know, but I can imagine. "You're head warms up the pillow and it gets uncomfortable," he goes on, "but you flip the pillow over and it's refreshingly cool." "That's like your hands…other side of the pillow cool." I smile at this.

"This maybe too personal," he asks, "but is the rest of you that cool?" I bite my bottom lip, wondering if I should pass on this or not. I decide it couldn't hurt to be coy. "Stick around long enough," I reply teasingly, "and you may find out." He chuckles at this.

"Tired yet," I ask. "A little," he replies, "though as bad as my head's hurting I'll probably just lay here in a stupor and not sleep." I frown at this. "Maybe a cold washcloth?" he ask, "that helps sometimes." An idea hits me. "Do you trust me?" I ask. He gives me a funny look. "Please Pat," I say, remembering how to use the puppy dog face I use to, "let me try something?" "That's not fair," he replies to my look, but I can see him cracking. "Pretty please?" I ask. He sighs. "Don't make me regret this," he replies. His voice surprises me…I would've expect anger or hostility, but all I got was sadness.

"You won't," I promise. He nods. "Lie back," I order. He sighs and slides his body down so he can lie flat, moving one of the pillows behind him. "Now," I reply, "close your eyes." He gives me an odd look. "Trust me," I say softly. Slowly, he complies. I quickly climb on the bed, lying on my side beside him. "Alice," he says in a warning voice as my body touches his, "what are you doing?" "Trust me," I whisper in his ear as I put my hand on his forehead. "Wow," he whispers, "that does feel better." I smile to myself. "What about your folks?" he whispers. "Let me worry about them," I whisper back. I can hear Edward chuckle from downstairs.

I'm comfortable for about ten minutes…long enough for him to fall asleep. Once he's asleep however, his head rolls to its side and ends up against my chest. I freeze, immediately holding my breath. He doesn't wake up, so I'm assuming the coolness of my skin feels nice to him. I keep my hand on his forehead and slowly torture myself with his scent. I concentrate on other things I wouldn't have: how peaceful his face looks while he's sleeping, how warm he feels against me. I honestly like it. I ease my bottom arm under his neck and cradle his head to me now. He doesn't stir only the slow, even sound of his breathing breaking the silence. I listen for his heart…letting the slow, even beat lull me into a peaceful haze. I breathe deeper, letting his scent overwhelm me. Still in control. He mumbles incoherently and I pull him closer to me.

He surprises me by turning towards me and throwing his arm around my waist. He's eye-to-eye with the valley between my breast, but I'm not going to move him. I know I'm not going to harm him, so I concentrate on enjoying the moment. Who knows how he'll react to my admissions tomorrow. I try to 'see', but I can't. It makes sense; how many people KNOW how they'd react to someone telling them "I'm a vampire"? Not many. "Alice," Carlisle's voice whispers from the doorway, "it's time to wake him." "Ok," I whisper back, too low for human hears. "Make sure he's fully awake, then let him go back to sleep if he wants," he whispers through the door. "I will," I whisper back.

"Pat," I whisper in his ear. He doesn't even stir. "Pat," I whisper a little louder, smoothing his hair. He wakes with a jump, startling me. "What the hell?" he ask, untangling himself from me. "You were comfortable…I thought," I reply sadly, "I didn't want to disturb you." He gives me a thoughtful look. "I was," he admits, "till you woke me." "Carlisle said it was time to wake you," I reply, "but you can go back to sleep if you want." He shakes his head, his mouth set in a tight line.

"How's the headache?" I ask. "Better," he replies, "now just a dull throb…I barely notice it." I smile. "I'm…sorry about…you know," he mutters, clearly embarrassed. "Don't be," I smile, "I was comfortable." "Really?" he says, cocking an eyebrow at me. I nod. "Comfortable in the arms of someone you don't really know," he states flatly. I huff. That sounded dangerously close to name-calling.

"Connection…remember?" I ask. He doesn't respond. "You feel it too," I reply, cocking my own eyebrow, "otherwise would you have fallen asleep like that?" He turns away but I can see a tinge of red flood his cheek. I want to squeal…I was right! "It's ok Pat," I say softly, "I really liked it." He still doesn't respond. "What is it?" I ask.

"You're playing games and I don't like it," he responds, turning back to look at me. "No games," I reply, "I swear." "Just secrets," he corrects. "For a little while longer," I agree, "but you're going to find out…and I'm going to tell you." He sighs. "Want to watch a movie?" I ask. "Maybe just TV," he replies. I nod and grab the remote off the bedside table. "Anything in particular?" I ask. He shakes his head. "Are you going to lie back down?" I ask. "When you move," he replies. I huff. "Patrick, I won't bite," I reply…fighting back a grin. "No games," he says flatly. "I'm NOT playing games," I reply firmly, "are you?" He shakes his head. "I got suspended from kindergarten because the teacher couldn't make me go to recess," he says, cocking his eyebrow again. "Why didn't you want to go to recess?" I ask, puzzled. "Because I _don't play games_," he says with a smug grin. I grin back.

"Come on," I say patting the bed beside me, "I promise I'll be good." He exhales deeply and complies. "And what if your parents walk in?" he ask. "It's fine," I assure you. "It better be," he replies, "because if Emmett comes after me…I don't think I could fight him off." He ponders. "Maybe with a lug wrench," he adds, clearly joking. I grin and kiss the side of his head quickly. He freezes, then blushes again.

I settle on the news, mainly for background noise though I keep the volume on low. Patrick and I spend the next few hours just talking. I find out he's failing three classes…the three he has with me, though he assures me it's not his fault. I promise to help him if he'll let me. This makes him smile. He tells me about Tori and how she's doing in first grade. How a few boys were teasing her until they found her brother was "The Hitman". He rolls his eyes every time that nickname is used. He tells me about spring practice and how a few scouts have started asking the coaches for game films. He seems in a talkative mood and I ask leading questions, content to listen. Tomorrow is going to be my day. He tells me about how he spends his time: at school, running, lifting weights, practicing, or taking care of things at home. He talks about his grandfather and it's evident how much he respects the man. I think he's a little hard on Pat, but Pat just shrugs it off.

Then he surprises me by admitting some of the more personal stuff. Like he always feels tired because he doesn't get enough sleep. I'm not surprised: between football, baseball, Tori, and taking care of the house while his granddad works he's a busy guy. How he use to be teased, both at his old school and this one, because his family was poor and everyone thought he was stupid because of his accent. It stopped after he started playing football and "after I busted a couple of heads". That's where the "Little Rich Girl" remarks came from. How him and Amber, through the common ground of their mother's being "together", forged a bond more brother and sister than anything else.

He reminds me of Bella; a middle aged teenager. He's really sweet…even more than I originally thought. I had suspected there was more underneath the surface, but even I was touched. It's like there was two different Patrick's. There was "Pat" the sweet, warm, witty guy that was loyal to his family, tender to his sister, and wanted to be held like any being. Then there was "The Hitman"; the strong, silent warrior that the people of Moscow looked up to and cheered as he did battle on a grassy field to secure the future he dreamed about.

He took two more pills in the early afternoon, right before the usual wake up time so he could hopefully sleep the entire two hours uninterrupted. He did doze off, lying next to me, though our bodies weren't touching. He shivered slightly in his sleep and I hurried to spread a blanket over him. Once I was sure he was out, I eased downstairs to check on my family. Carlisle and Esme were sitting together reading and Emmett was playing a video game. "Where's Bella and Edward?" I ask. "Edward had to hunt," Carlisle explains, "hearing you thoughts when Patrick was sleeping earlier made HIM thirsty." I nod. "How's it going?" Esme ask. That question caused me to burst into sobs.

Esme was in front of me before I could even register it. "Alice," she whispers as my breathing hitches in my throat, "what is it?" I continue to sob quietly, not wanting to wake the sleeping boy upstairs. Esme pulls me tightly against her, trying to soothe me. "Tell us Alice," Carlisle says softly, coming to stand beside me. "He's more beautiful than I thought," I whisper. Esme pulls away from me, cupping each side of my face with both hands. "Honey, that's wonderful," she says, her eyes dancing merrily. "He is an impressive young man," Carlisle agrees, "and thoughtful…afraid of what we would think of you lying in bed with him." He chuckles.

Emmett moves around and moves between Esme and I. He bends down and places his hands on his knees, looking me in the eye. "Listen to me Alice," he says, his voice soft, but firm, " I know you're going to think this…so I'm going to head this off at the pass. YES," he continues, you DO deserve him." I sniff. "Absolutely," Carlisle adds, "I couldn't think of a better match for him." I sob again, catching how he said "a better match for _him_", not "a better match for _you_". Esme pushes Emmett aside and hugs me to her chest again. "You deserve this," Esme whispers in my ear, "you have to believe that."

We don't say another word, Esme holding me the whole time, until it's time to wake Pat again. He wakes easier this time, his headache gone. You can tell he feels better, his eyes seem more alive than earlier. We lounge on the bed, watching _The Replacements _till dinnertime. "Have you see this?" I ask. "Yep," he admits, "I've seen every football movie from _Any Given Sunday _to _We Are Marshall_." "What's the oldest one you've seen?" I ask. He shrugs. "Either the original version of _The Longest Yard_ or _North Dallas Forty_," he admits. Damn, he has seen a lot of football movies. "This is probably one of my favorites," he admits. "What's your least favorite?" I ask. He ponders that. "I'd say either _Friday Night Lights_ or _Remember the Titans_," he replies. "Why?" I ask. "You ask a lot of questions," he comments. I give him a grin and flip him off, earning me another laugh.

"_Friday Night Lights_ because I'm sensitive to being called racist," he explains, "being from the south and everything…and it was applied in that movie when the black referee blew a call in favor of the all black high school." I nod. "Same with _Remember the Titans_?" I ask. He shakes his head. "No, that one was fairly accurate historically," he admits, "and it ended with everyone getting along. I just hated it because it was so damn sad at the end." Huh…that's actually insightful. It gives me a better understanding of where he's coming from. I can actually imagine some of the things said to Pat when he first came here. Prejudice isn't always about color with humans. Geography and social class also can bring out the worst in people.

After the movie, I take him down for leftover lasagna. He remembers to compliment Esme without my prompting which earns him a hug from the mother vampire. He ate heartily again and we sat in the living room talking really about nothing. Emmett engaged him more about football and you could see Patrick was knowledgeable on the subject in all aspects of the game. He could throw around words like "bump and run coverage" and "triple option" and "Wildcat Formation" like he knew what he was talking about. Judging from Emmett's reaction, who I know is more informed about the game than ninety-nine percent of all humans, Patrick DID know what he was talking about. I sat next to Pat the entire time. I noticed not only was he pleased when I did, he didn't act surprised. Like he was expecting me to. That made me feel warm inside.

I could tell Patrick was getting uncomfortable when it got closer to human bedtime and no one made a move to even get ready. "Are you ready for bed?" I whisper in his ear. His cheeks flooded again and I cover my mouth. I guess that could've been taken a couple different ways. "Yeah," he replies, "I guess I haven't slept enough today." "I'll sit with you for a little while," I offer. He gives me a funny look. "If you want," I add quickly. "Sure," he replies slowly, his eyes cutting to Carlisle and Esme. Oh, I get it. He's afraid of what they'll think. "Come on," I say, jumping up and grabbing his hand. Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett all bid him goodnight without even looking up from what they were doing. I think they figured it out too.

We lay together on top of the covers. "So tomorrow," I begin, "will be a busy day." He cuts his eyes over to my, then turns on his side to face me. "Will it?" he ask softly. I nod. "There's a lot I want to tell you," I say slowly, "a lot I think you need to know." He gives me a long, soft look and I want to kiss him so badly right now I could scream. "Is it going to be bad?" he asks. I shrug. "It is what it is," I reply sadly, "I honestly don't know how you'll take it." He looks thoughtful at that. "How do you _want_ me to take it?" he asks. I shrug. "Honestly," I reply, "I don't know. Part of me wants you to take it badly…and leave here as fast as your legs can carry you." He frowns at that. "The other part," I continue, "wants you to tell me you're ok with…what I tell you." I bite my lower lip. He moves his hand carefully to tuck a stray piece of hair from in front of my face to behind me ear. Just like the first time, my skin hums under his touch.

"I don't frighten easily," he says softly. "I know," I reply, "but everyone has a limit." He shrugs. "I know something's up Alice," he says softly, "something big that you're not telling me. A blind man can see it." He pauses and I look at him expectantly. "I'm not sure it matters," he replies, "there IS a connection between us…and I may regret saying this, but I want to see what happens next." I look at him closely, not missing the sadness in his eyes. He didn't say those words with sarcasm or malice. He sounded like someone afraid to get hurt. He sounded like me. "I don't want you to regret anything," I whisper. Silence ensues again as his eyes drop.

"Feel like taking another chance," he asks softly. I nod my head. He looks up at me and leans to my ear. "Can I kiss you?" he whispers his warm breath and that molasses-thick drawl making me shiver. Part of me…the one that knows my family can hear every word…wonders if they're sitting on the edge of their seats, ready to spring if I attack. The other part of me doesn't care. I pull my head back, take a deep breath, swallow the venom that my mouth reflexively made, look into those mesmerizing blue eyes, and nod.

He leans in slowly and I beat him to the punch, closing the distance between our mouths much quicker. Our mouths open in synch and I taste his tongue on mine. My body locks up when his scent hits me again and I fight to control the monster. The thirst for his blood, the strongest it's ever been, disappears when he puts his hand on the back of my thigh and pulls my leg around his waist. My skin, that seems to hum when he touches me, goes from humming to crackling. It's like an electrical current flowing between where our skin touches…like Kate, when she would use her gift. My hands go to the back of his neck, stroking the hair on the back of his head as his tongue flies past my teeth.

I want him. Not his blood, _all_ of him. Twenty plus years of dormant urges, that I thought had died that day with my beloved Jasper, come flying back like no vengeance the world has ever seen. I inhale deeply, taking in his scent, feasting strictly on it. His hand moves to my lower back and pulls me closer to him. That's the wrong move because my hand plants on the back of his head and pulls him even deeper into the kiss. I'm winning both wars in my head, the one not to kill and the one not to hurt him. I moan in pleasure as I feel him pull me even tighter. I let my hand slide down his arm and before I realize what I'm doing I push his arm down so his hand is no longer on my back, but on my butt. He responds by pulling me against him tighter. I feel him, hard against my pelvis, and I literally groan in response. Our breathing has become ragged panting, his heart is thundering in my ears, and the pit of my stomach feels like it's on fire.

We break apart as our kiss slows down and he embarrassingly takes his hand off my rear. "Sorry," he whisper, "got too carried away." I grin. "I'm not," I reply, "that was…" "Hot?" he ask, though with his accent peeking through it sounds more like _hawt _and I shiver again. "Exactly," I agree. I've got to get out of here before this goes further than what's safe. "Now," I say as I ease back away from him, "you need to get some sleep." "I don't know if I can," he admits. "Dream about me," I say, throwing a wink over my shoulder as I move towards the door.

Holy shit…did we just kiss? Yeah, we did. I wince as I move down the hall at a snail's pace. Should I have done that? I mean, what if tomorrow he curses me for that. He doesn't know what I am yet. I shake my head, trying to clear it. He wanted to…I wanted to…we did. It's that simple. That simple…and that _hot_. I could've gone 'Bad Alice' all over that boy right then. Shit, I got to get my girlmones under control. I take another cleansing breath. God that boy can kiss! I have no idea he had it in him. My knees are even weak!

I shrug it off and pause at the top of the stairs. I can hear my family waiting down there for a report. I can still taste Pat and I want more. Ok…get through tomorrow Alice, then we'll see about doing that again. I'm game if he wants to.


	13. Chapter 12

(A/N Ok, they kissed. Now comes the hard part for Alice. It's going to be broken down into several chapters simply because it's a lot to cover. Alice is giving it all to him at once b/c she wants him to love her. To be fair to him, he has to know everything about her. That's why she's laying it all out for him. I'll try to get those chapters out today. How'd the kiss go btw? I liked it, but then again I wrote it.)

**I don't own Twilight. Stephanie Myers does. I only own Patrick. He kissed a vampire...and he liked it!**

CHAPTER 12-ALICE'S P.O.V.

"Really Alice," Edward says softly as I come down the stair, "was that necessary?" I didn't know him and Bella were back. I roll my eyes in response. "What happened?" Emmett ask, "I mean I heard her moan but…" "Apparently the boy ask if he could kiss her," Edward replies, "and she complied." "You kissed him without attacking," Esme said, beaming, "That's wonderful!" "Yes," Edward says flatly, "but was the groping necessary?"

Everyone's eyes widen, including mine. I didn't touch anything but his head and Patrick didn't put his hands anywhere but where I wanted them. "Edward he did NOT grope me," I reply evenly. "Then how did his hand end up on your rear?" he challenges. Everyone gasp. "I PUT it there," I snarl back. Now everyone's mouth is hanging open to match their eyes bugging out of their heads. "You go girl!" Bella chimes in. Edward rolls his eyes. "You did that," Emmett grumbles, "I can't tear his arm off if YOU put it there." I snarl in response. "Easy pixie," he says chuckling, "it was a joke." I roll my eyes again.

"Alice," Carlisle says seriously, "all I'm going to say is to be careful." I nod. Why am I the center of attention? "Because you kissed a boy upstairs," Edward replies to my thought. I growl again. "Tell me EVERYTHING," Bella says, pulling me to the couch, "is he a good kisser?" "I liked it," I say with a shrug. Talk about role reversal. Bella is bouncing in her seat. "Girl," she says, "you've got it BAD." I sigh, bite my bottom lip, and nod. She squeals and wraps her arms around my neck.

It was different. I mean, I've only kissed one other person so I don't have that much to go on, but it was obviously different as far as first kisses go. Mine and Jasper's first kiss was tender, sweet, and so full of love. The kiss simply said, "I love you". Nothing more. I had seen him in my vision, I had found him, I had fallen in love with him, and I was going to marry him. I had died a virgin in my human life. I knew nothing of intimacy. It never crossed my mind till our first time. All that first kiss was, was love. Sweet, uncomplicated, storybook love.

Kissing Patrick…was so much different. There was love there, no doubt about it. And it was just as sweet as the love I had with Jasper. I think the biggest difference is me. Technically, as far as mental development goes, I was still a girl when I met Jasper. I grew up while together with Jasper and became the woman I am. Patrick will never see that. Patrick gets me as a woman. A woman who's experienced life. A woman who knows what she's feeling and what she wants. Thinking back, I had wanted Jasper. I just didn't know it at the time. The moment my lips touched Patrick's…I knew not only did I love this boy, I knew I _wanted_ this boy.

Now for the waiting game. "Is he asleep yet?" I ask Edward. Edward shook his head. "He just got up and went to the bathroom," he replies, "and he's wondering when we're going to bed." He then smirks. "He's also wondering if you're going to sneak into his room." I giggle at that. "I haven't decided yet," I admit, "but in this house…it wouldn't be sneaking, would it?" Everyone nods. "When he does go to sleep," I say softly, "I'm going to hunt." Edward nods. "He noticed when he woke up the first time how black your eyes were," Edward replies, "he thought you'd gotten up while he was sleeping and took out your contacts." I nod. "Observant," Bella comments. "Reminds me of you love," Edward agrees.

Patrick finally dozes off about an hour later. I hurry into the nearby woods and take down two elk in record time. I don't know why I'm hurrying. Yes I do, I want to watch him sleep again. I get back to see everyone's still in the living room, though they've all changed clothes. Edward and Emmett are playing chess. Bella must be shielding Emmett. Not that it matters, Edward could beat Emmett blindfolded. Edward nods at me in agreement.

"Where are you going to tell him tomorrow?" Bella ask. I take in a deep breath. "The clearing by the stream," I reply slowly. Everything stops. I haven't been to that clearing since the night I tried to end my existence. "Are you sure?" Carlisle asks. I nod. "Tell him everything, right?" I ask. Esme comes over and gives me a fierce hug. "You'll do fine," she promises. "Esme and I are going to hunt tomorrow," Carlisle adds, "but we'll be back by late afternoon if Pat has any questions." I nod. "What would he like for dinner?" Esme ask. "Chinese food," Edward replies from across the room, "beef lo mein…no onions". Everyone chuckles. "What?" Edward asks, "he was thinking about it earlier when Alice ask what he wanted for dinner before he said he'd eat leftovers." "We can handle that," Carlisle promises. That settled I go to my room.

I take a shower, just to wash the dirt and aroma of elk off my skin. I dry my hair and put it up in a ponytail. I'm going for basic no frills this time. I want him to see me…no pretty clothes, no fancy hair, no make-up…just me. I don't know if I want him to see me so he'll accept who I am or reject me, but I do know I want him to see me regardless. I put on a pair of black sweats, a Moscow sweatshirt, and my black Converse. Like I said: basic, no frills. This done, I ease into his room, glad to find he's sleeping peacefully. I bite my lower lip as I approach the bed. Thankful for vampire abilities now, I ease onto the bed, not disturbing the mattress. I lie beside him, not close enough for us to touch but close enough I can look at him. A small smile plays across my lips as I take in his sleeping form. Humans have it lucky sometimes. The ability to shut your brain off…sleep…is a luxury all my kind wishes for sometimes. Time seems to move in slow motion as I lay here, staring at this beautiful boy.

He doesn't look surprised when he opens his eyes to find me there. "You'd hoped I'd sneak in here," I tease softly, "you got your wish." He gives me a puzzled look. "Later," I reply, "get in the bathroom and I'll meet you downstairs." "When do you sleep?" he groans, pulling a pillow over his head. "Later," I promise, "now come on. We got things to do." He groans again, but pulls himself up. I hear his feet hit the floor as I leave the room.

Edward is cooking this morning. "Just an omelet," Edward replies to my thought, "though I packed him a lunch." "It will probably be a long day." I nod in agreement. The kitchen is silent as he works. "Relax Alice," Edward says, washing the frying pan after putting Pat's omelet on a plate, "everything will work out." I nod, though I don't feel it. My nerves feel like tuning forks, vibrating throughout my body. Edward fries bacon while we wait…then makes toast. He seems calm. I wish I could be.

Patrick finally comes down the stairs, looking better rested than I've seen him. "Morning," Edward says cordially, "I made breakfast." "Let me guess," Patrick says evenly, "you've already ate." Edward nods. Patrick snorts in response, but pulls up a seat to the bar. I pour him a glass of juice. "Thanks," he says, giving me a cautious smile. I guess he's picked up the tension in the room. I smile softly back. He digs in. "Not bad Ed," Patrick says after the first bite, "I never could make an omelet." Edward grins his crooked grin. "Just takes practice," he says absently. Patrick shrugs but doesn't comment.

He finishes in record time. "I took the liberty of packing a lunch," Edward says, pointing to a small cooler on the counter. "So we're going somewhere," Patrick responds. It wasn't a question. "I thought it would be best," I reply, my eyes down. Yeah…I'm nervous. Patrick nods and takes the cooler. "Ready when you are," he replies. "We're taking the Jeep," I tell Edward as I go out the door, Patrick following behind me. He only stops to grab his parka.

Patrick puts the cooler in the back of the Jeep and climbs into the passenger's seat. "Not bad," Pat comments at our transportation. "It's Emmett's," I respond as I turn the key. We drive north slowly. We could've walked…it's only about five miles and I knew Patrick could handle it…but this was going to take a long time and I didn't want to waste any by walking. I also wanted the Jeep so he could leave at any time. I didn't need it. "There's a lot to tell," I say evenly as I turn off the main trail, "but I want you to know I'll stop at any time." "All you have to do is say 'stop' and I won't say anymore." Patrick nod, digging out his snuff can. I wrinkle my nose, but don't comment. I have no idea how I'm going to broach this.

I finally park us right outside the clearing. "Nice," Patrick comments, "wonder how the fishing is?" I can't help but smile. I'm the one making him nervous and he's the one trying to ease my tension. "Sit," I say, motioning him to get out. He shrugs and gets out, moving to take the cooler out of the back. "Hope you plan on eating some of this," he mumbles. I pretend I don't hear him. He picks out the spot I would have…a stump just high enough to make a seat. It's beautiful here, even though it's still sprinkling rain. Patrick pulls his parka tighter around himself and looks at me cautiously.

Since I have no idea the best way to broach this, I decide to just hit him with it. "Patrick, I'm a vampire," I blurt out. He looks at me about like I expected. Like I've lost my mind. "Vampire?" he asks. I nod. "As in undead, blood drinking, Anne Rice vampire?" I shake my head at that. "Literature doesn't quite have vampires right," I admit. He chuckles. "Ok I get it," he replies, "you're one of those people who THINKS they're vampires. Who live the vampire lifestyle?" "No Pat," I reply sadly, "I'm an honest to goodness vampire." He snorts.

"I'm here to prove it," I reply honestly. "How?" he ask, still staring at me with disbelief. "Anything," I reply quickly, "whatever it takes to convince you." He sits for a minute, thinking. "I thought y'all couldn't come out in the daytime," he says after the pause. "Into sunlight," I correct, "but it won't hurt us…it's complicated." He snorts. "Garlic?" he asks. "Myth," I reply. "Crosses?" "Myth again," I sigh. "Well I don't have any blood handy," he replies, "other than my own." "I don't want your blood," I blurt out. It's a lie…I want it more than anything. I just won't drink it. "We have super speed…strength…enhanced sense of hearing, sight, smell…" he cuts me off.

"Ok," he replies, "show me. Show me these super powers." I ponder. "Pick up a rock," I reply. He reaches down. "Make sure you're sure it's a REAL rock," I reply, "I don't want to be accused to any sleight of hand." He picks up a rock the size of a golf ball. "Hand it to me," I tell him, which he does. I squeeze with all my might. "Hold out your hand," I tell him. When he does, I let the powdered remains sift into his hand. "No." "Fucking." "Way," he blurts. I shrug. "Now," I continue, "pick up another one." He complies, this rock just a little larger. "Can you throw it across the stream?" I ask. He rolls his eyes. "Whenever you're ready," I say smiling. He slowly pulls his arm back and throws it with an easy, relaxed motion. Faster than he can blink, I sprint across the stream…so fast I didn't even get wet…and catch it. I show it to him, giggling as he gawks in disbelief and run back to his side, again faster than he can blink his eye. "Holy shit," he whispers.

"Convinced?" I ask. He responds by plopping back down on the stump, a look of disbelief on his face. "You're…not human," he stammers. "I told you," I reply, "I'm a vampire." "So am I going to die today?" he asks. I shake my head. "I didn't bring you out here to kill you," I say softly. He gives me a look that says _why DID you bring me here_ but doesn't voice it. I bite my bottom lip, watching him closely. He's staring at his boots, a clear look of disbelief on his face.

It's quiet for several minutes, Patrick's breathing and an occasional spit the only sound. "That's why I never see you eat?" he asks finally. I nod. "And why you're dad's a doctor?" Huh? "What's him being a doctor got to do with it?" I ask. He shrugs. "Gives him access to blood," he replies. "Patrick," I say softly, "you need to forget most of what you think you know about vampires." "So you don't drink human blood?" he asks. I shake my head. "Most vampires do," I admit, "but my family doesn't. We survive on the blood of animals." "Why?" Patrick asks, eyeing me curiously. I let my head drop. "We don't _want_ to be monsters," I say in a soft voice. He nods slowly. "Human blood is…very appetizing," I explain, "Carlisle has spent centuries denying his nature to be able to be a doctor." "Centuries?" Patrick asks. I nod. "He'll tell you're story later," I tell him, "I promise." I peer at him closely. "Are you convinced?" I ask again. He shrugs. "Yeah…I guess," he replies, "I mean…I'd better be. I don't want the lives of anymore poor, innocent rocks to be lost." I giggle in response.

I freeze when a scent catches my attention. "Patrick," I say in a low even voice, "don't move." He gives me a strange look. "There's a bear moving in from the south…headed this way." He stiffens and looks that direction. You can tell this boy's been in the woods, his sense of direction is very good. I didn't look that direction but as soon as I said 'south' his head immediately went that direction. "I hear him," he whispers in a low voice. "Stay still…and don't move until I tell you it's ok," I warn, "please Patrick…if you care about me you'll do this." I see him nod out of the corner of his eye, his gaze locking to a spot in the brush where a huffing sound is made. "Don't move," I whisper again as the bear makes its way into the clearing.

Grizzly. Between 600-700 pounds. The sow is sniffing Patrick's direction, but I don't give her the chance to respond. I snarl, startling Pat, and leap her direction. It's no contest. Not only is she overpowered, she never even sees me coming. I leap at her, latch my teeth to her neck, and drink deeply in record time. The bear only gets off one roar and never has the opportunity to raise up on her back legs. I let her drop and freeze, Patrick's scent overriding my senses. This was the danger to him…not the bear.

Quickly, I run the opposite edge of the clearing, inhaling the air not saturated with his scent in long, deep breaths. _Patrick, Patrick, Patrick, Patrick_ I think over and over in my head. Giving that delicious aroma a name helps me to control the urge to kill.

I turn and slowly walk back to the dead bear. In seconds, I've dug a hole with my bare hands and dropped her carcass into it. Another few seconds, she's covered up. I sprint to the creek and wash the dirt off my hands. Taking one more deep breath, I turn to Patrick. He's literally frozen in shock. "Believe me now?" I ask carefully, taking a cautious step. "Uh huh," he replies, still frozen. "Are you afraid?" I ask. "Uh huh," he repeats. "You don't have to be," I say, taking another cautious step, checking my thirst as I go. "Give me a minute to process," he says weakly. I nod and comply.

"Want to hear the rest of the scary part?" I ask, before he can fully shake the bear attack off. He doesn't respond. Great…he's freaked out. "Pat?" I ask. "Give it too me," he replies quickly. "You sure?" I ask. "No," he replies weakly, "but do it anyway." I take a deep breath. "La tua cantante," I say quickly. He turns and gives me a funny look. "La tua cantante is Italian," I explain, "roughly translated it means 'one who sings'. Once in a vampire's existence we find that person…that person whose blood is so appealing…so appetizing…that it literally sings to that vampire." He gives me a wide-eyed look.

"I've known a total of three vampires…including myself…that have met their singer," I continue, "Emmett killed and drank his." Pat swallows thickly. "Edward's was Bella…who he fell in love with." "He fell in love with his sister?" Patrick asks. I shake my head. "They're not related," I explain, "he fell in love with a human. It's quite rare in our world." Patrick nods. "And the third?" he ask. "I'm the third," I say slowly, "and you're my singer."

He takes a deep breath. "You said I wasn't going to die today," he replies slowly. "And I meant it," I reply with equal slowness. He nods. "I don't want to be a monster Patrick," I say sadly, "and if you want to leave, I swear I won't stop you." He doesn't respond. Silence overtakes us again for a moment.

"I wish Edward was here," I mutter. "Why?" he ask. "Some vampires have special abilities," I explain, "Edward can read minds." "Huh?" Patrick says. "Seriously," I repeat, "Edward can read minds." "Everyone?" Patrick asks. "Everyone but Bella's," I reply, "she is what we call a 'shield'…which means she can protect herself and others from mental attacks." His eyes seem to spark. "That's what you mean this morning when you said 'I got my wish'?" I nod. "Edward read it," I confirm. "Shit," Patrick says, spitting in disgust, "he doesn't like me anymore." I giggle. "Edward's use to hearing people's thoughts," I reply, "I'm sure it was nothing he's never heard before." Patrick groans.

I take the risk and take a step closer, relieved Patrick doesn't flinch. "Are you still frightened?" I ask. He gives me a cautious look. "It doesn't matter," he replies, "it you were going to kill me, I'd be dead before I even realized it." I sigh. "I don't want you to be frightened," I say, risking to walk slowly to him, "I want you at ease with me." "Why?" Patrick asks. I bite my lower lip, but don't respond. "I'm getting to that," I say weakly. "There's _more_," Pat asks. I nod. "I told you it was going to be a full day," I softly. "You got that shit right," he replies. He then stand up and stretches. "I can stop now if you wish," I say softly. "Shit now?" he replies, his voice full of indignation, "it's just getting good, right?"


	14. Chapter 13

**I don't own Twilight. I just use the characters to amuse people. I do own Patrick, though Alice might get him in the end.**

CHAPTER 13-ALICE'S P.O.V.

"You're eyes are golden again," he comments after a short pause. I nod. "Vampires have naturally reddish colored eyes," I explain, "all vampire's eyes are that color when they're…created. They turn black when we're thirsty or our nature kicks in." "That's why your eyes change color?" Patrick asks. I nod. "My family has gold colored eyes because we feed on animal blood."

Patrick nods carefully. "You said 'created'…" he prompts. "You have to be bitten and survive the vampire attack to become a vampire," I explain, "if vampire venom is directly injected into your blood supply, it will change you." "Gotcha," he replies with another nod, "but it's not dangerous in any other form." "No," I say shyly, "I wouldn't have kissed you if it was." He smiles softly at this. I'm glad to be off the hook for that kiss last night.

"Each of my family members have different stories of how they became…what we are," I say, "and if you'll listen I would like to share mine." He stands and moves to the cooler, not seeming to be bothered by my presence. He pops the top on a drink and takes three long swallows. This done he walks back to the stump with his drink, sits down, and says, "Ok, now I'm ready."

"Before I begin my story," I begin, "I need to tell you something about the transformation from human to vampire. Once you make the transformation, your human memories begin to fade…usually only your strongest human memories survive." I look at him sadly. "I have absolutely no memories of my human life. My transformation is my first memory." Patrick is watching me closely, leaning his elbows on his knees, not commenting. "I woke up alone in the woods with a note pinned on my shirt that said, 'your name is Alice Brandon'. That's it. What I know of my past…pre-vampire…is through research." Patrick spits a long stream of tobacco juice and looks at me. His eyes are pure concentration.

"Go on," he says tenderly." I nod. "I was born Mary Alice Brandon in Biloxi, Mississippi in 1901." I wait, letting that sink in. "I have a power Pat…a subjective power…but a power nonetheless." He doesn't speak, content to let me tell my story in my own words. "I can see the future." He looks at me puzzled. "The future is subjective Pat," I explain, "I can only see it if someone stays on their chosen path. Like when you saved me; I saw it happen…but I saw me drinking your blood. I stopped breathing when you tackled me, so I didn't smell it and have it trigger my nature…therefore changing the vision of the future I saw." "I follow," he comments. I take a deep breath. "That was why I was frozen in the middle of the street…I was having that vision." He chuckles. "I wondered why you froze," he comments. "Still ok?" I ask. "Yeah," he replies softly, "please…go on."

I take another breath, calming myself. "My gravestone has my date of birth and the date I was committed to an asylum…I'm guessing because of my visions." "Makes sense," Patrick comments, "I mean…back then it wouldn't have been seen as a gift. I would've looked like mental illness. Be glad it wasn't a hundred years before that…you'd have probably been tried as a witch instead." I nod. "Someone in the asylum changed me to keep another vampire from killing me," I continue, "I never learned his name, but supposedly the person who was hunting me killed him in revenge." I swallow thickly. "All I had was my name and my visions…and my visions led me to Jasper."

I look at him. "I wandered alone for several years…because I didn't want to be a monster. Yes…I killed when my thirst drove me to it." Patrick doesn't look surprised or scared. That surprises me. "I wandered until I had another vision of the man I was to spend the rest of my existence. Those visions led me to a diner in Philadelphia one rainy day and I waited until Jasper walked in." I smile softly. "We fell in love instantly…both of us with past unusual even by vampires standards. Jasper and I were married…in the 1930's…and my visions led me to the Cullen's in 1950." Pat shifts uncomfortably, but doesn't comment. "I was very happy with Jasper…he had a gift too. He could sense you emotions and manipulate them if necessary. He could calm an angry mob or make an angry bear even angrier."

I smile. "He was the love of my life. When we were living in Forks, Washington in the first part of this century, Edward met Bella…a human. Through their many trials and tribulations, they survived and got married. On their honeymoon, Bella became pregnant. No one had ever dreamed it possible…Edward was the only one with the control to not only not drink from her, but to be careful enough while they made love not to kill her. That and we didn't think vampire men could actually impregnate someone. But it happened."

I pause here, checking to see if Patrick is going to bolt. He looks thoughtful, but not scared or angry. "This is where it's gets REALLY complicated," I warn, "because I'm going to have to mix vampire history with my families own." Patrick nods. "There are royalty in the vampire world…the Volturi…who handle the rules of our world." Rule number one is: Keep the Secret. I pause. "Centuries ago, someone broke this rule…by turning toddlers into vampires." Patrick's mouth turns into a grimace. "Obviously toddlers can't control their tempers or their bloodlust making them an exposure risk. Therefore they had to be destroyed. It started a war in our world, with many covens destroyed…along with these immortal children." I sigh, then give him a look. He's still paying ramp attention. "Bella had a child that was half human and half vampire." Patrick nods thoughtfully. I guess after everything else, it's hard to surprise him now.

"Renesmee wasn't like the immortal children," I explain, "she grew…physically and mentally. She learned. She was no danger of exposure. A vampire saw her in the woods…from a distance…and assumed she was one of these immortal children. She went to the Volturi…and the Volturi came for Renesmee…and us. Jasper and I fled, looking for a solution. It's a quirk of my visions…I couldn't see Renesmee because she was a half-breed…so I had to look for a blind spot. I found it in South America. We brought him back…Nahual…as a witness that Renesmee wasn't a danger. Nahual was one hundred and fifty years old…and no one knew he existed."

I pause again. "Patrick," I say in a soft voice, "if you want to stop…I'm ready." He folds his arms across his chest. "Why?" he ask softly. "This…is the hardest part of the story to tell," I explain. "If you want to…" he lets it hang. "I NEED you to hear this," I beg, beginning to sob, "I NEED you to understand." The boy surprises me again. Patrick jumps up and hurries to me, pulling me close to his chest. "It's ok Alice," he whispers, rubbing my back gently, "only if you want to." I continue to sob. After everything I've told him…and showed him…he still came to comfort me with no fear. "Let it out Alice," he whispers into my hair, his arms both strong and gentle, his warmth healing the hole left by my heart when it was torn out of my chest when Jasper died. I sob harder and he pulls me tighter, murmuring gently into the top of my head.

I finally ease back, taking his hand. "No tears," I say, wiping my dry eyes, "we can't produce them." He smiles slightly. "I'm ready when you are," he says in a gentle voice. I nod. "Sit back down," I say softly, "there's still a lot to go." He grins, the right corner of his mouth pulling up like Edward's, and does what I tell him. "We met in a clearing in the woods," I continue, "my family and other vampires we brought to witness that my niece wasn't what they assumed she was. The Volturi came in force. We proved she wasn't an immortal child…and we proved she wasn't a danger to our kind."

I let my chin drop to our chest. "Remember when I said my visions were subjective?" I ask. He nods. "One snap decision changed my existence. The Volturi wanted the ones of us with 'gifts' to join them…Edward, Bella, Jasper, and I from our family…and a handful of the others. Of course we refused." I swallow thickly. "They attacked…and I was the closest target. Jasper saved me from being killed…sacrificed himself so I would live." I hear Patrick mouth the word 'wow' but otherwise he remains silent. "Our cousins from Alaska," I continue, "the only other family of animal drinkers…only one survived. Emmett's wife…our sister Rosaline…killed. I can see this as clear as if it happened seconds ago…they had someone with a gift to track people…Demetri. Jasper knew that…Jasper ignored having his arm torn off and being set on fire to make sure Demetri didn't survive…so that I would live."

I look up at Patrick, his eyes sad. "I lost my only reason to live." "Our lives are like the night sky…millions of stars, but with no moon, it's still mostly black. Jasper was my moon…the one that lit my way." I hang my head. "That was twenty years go…and it has never gotten easier. The first week I never got off the floor of my room. After that, my family force-fed me blood. We moved soon after to Hoquiam…then to New Hampshire…then to some shit town in northern California…then to Canada…and finally here…Moscow." I meet his eyes with a steady gaze. "This is your last chance to back out Patrick," I say as evenly as I can manage, "because once I start talking again…this is the point of no return." Patrick, to his credit, doesn't speak. He's obviously mulling over what I'm saying in his head.

"So let me make sure I understand," Patrick begins, "you're a mythical being…a vampire…that doesn't drink human blood?" I nod. "You were born in 1901 in Biloxi Mississippi…locked in a nuthouse because you saw the future…were changed by an unknown vampire…and had a vision of finding your true love." I give him another nod. "You found him…married him…found the Cullen's…your sister-in-law had a baby that was half human/half vampire… and vampire royalty found out and tried to kill her." "You're with me so far," I tell him. "You proved she wasn't a danger…they attacked y'all anyway and your husband was killed?" he asks. Again I nod. "So you've been depressed for twenty years?" he blurts out, finishing. I nod once again.

"Alice," he says softly, "I don't think it can get any worse." I laugh dryly. "Yeah," I reply, "the worst is yet to come." He shakes his head. "Not possible," he replies. "Believe it," I reply. "Well," he says slowly, "today has not ended up like I thought it would." "What were you expecting?" I ask. He shrugs. "I had no expectations," he admits, "and if you don't believe that…ask Edward." I smile despite it all. "Eat your lunch," I say, pointing to the cooler.

"Not hungry," Patrick says. "Don't be stubborn Pat," I tell him, "Edward packed it…you should eat it." "Seriously," he replies, "I'm not hungry." He gets a serious expression on his face. "What you're going to tell me…is that bad?" he ask. I nod. "What I'm going to tell you," I reply slowly, "is going to be very difficult for me to tell you and for you to accept." He gives me a hard look. "Am I going to live?" he ask. I roll my eyes. "That's the third time you've asked me that," I snap, "I TOLD you I had no plans to kill you." He takes a deep breath. "I just want to be sure," he says sadly, "Tori needs me." That answer stops me cold.

He didn't say, "I'm afraid to die". He didn't say, "I don't want to die". He said, "Tori needs me". Facing the threat of death, he only thinks of his baby sister. Where do these type of beings come from and why aren't there more of them? I want to sob all over again. That answer tells me something about myself. No, I don't deserve him…but I WANT to deserve him. "Patrick, I want you to know what I tell you changes nothing," I say. "I brought you here with the understanding you were free to leave knowing exactly how much or how little you cared to." I look at him, making eye contact. "I swear to you, I have every intention of making sure you make it home to that sweet girl." He gives me a small smile. "Please eat you lunch?" I ask.

Mercifully, he gets up and gets the cooler. I'm glad…I need a few minutes to compose myself. He eats slowly and mechanically. I can tell he does not really taste it. I begin to pace, trying to calm down. Patrick has either picked up my mood or is lost in his own thoughts. Either way, he leaves me alone to think. He finishes before I'm ready though, even after taking the time to get another pinch of tobacco. "Finish it Alice," he says firmly, "I want to hear the rest." I sigh. "You're not allowed to interrupt until I'm finished," I say softly. "Deal," he says. He then spits and wipes his mouth with the back of his sleeve. "Finish it."

I sink onto the ground across from him, sure my legs won't be able to hold me up. "I told you I found my singer here," I begin. True to his word, he doesn't respond. "I also found a…connection…with someone I never thought I'd feel again. I tried to ignore it, thinking it was for the best. I couldn't…so I tried to embrace it." I can't even look at him. "The night of your first game, I went…to watch you. I admit that." I'll also admit I liked what I saw. I came home happy…feeling like maybe it was time for me to move on." I take a deep breath. "After the game…I was in the shower…and I thought about you…the kind of thoughts women have sometimes about men…and it saddened me." He looks a little shocked I'm telling him I was thinking about him in the shower. Oh, if this boy only knew.

"It saddened me because my beloved Jasper was dead and I was lusting after a pitiful human boy," I spit these last words out. "Again, I fell into hysterics…no one could calm me. I finally stopped the next morning and lay on the floor catatonic till Sunday night." I bite my bottom lip. "There is only one know way to kill my kind Pat," I say evenly, "you rip them to pieces so they can't get away and burn the pieces to ashes." I cock my head over my shoulder. "You see that tree?" I ask, looking up at him. He nods. "What does that look like to you?"

He gives it a hard look. "It look," he begins, "like the scene of someone being tied to that tree and burned at the stake." "Exactly," I reply, "that was to be my funeral pyre." I hang my head now. "No bullshit Pat…I had myself doused in gasoline and the wood burning when I was dragged off the fire. Once again, I was force fed and not allowed to be alone." I fight back the sobs. "For two weeks, I sat in an empty room, under constant watch…just staring at the wall. I finally came to the most logical conclusion…I was broken." I look up. Patrick is looking down now, his eyebrows furrowed in thought. "I ignored you," I went on, "I ignored this stupid, human boy because he wasn't worthy to take what Jasper had. He wasn't strong enough. I was broken…and I still am."

I take another deep breath. "So I ignored him." "I ignored my instinct to kill him and to be near him. I had hit rock bottom…it wasn't like I could go any further. All that changed in one instance. One vision…at the wrong time…and that stupid human boy interfered in my existence. He didn't save my life…but he did save me AND my family from being exposed for what we are. He suspected what we were…or at least we weren't human. But he kept our secret. This boy…by being so selfless he nearly killed himself to save me did something I didn't think was possible. He awoken my dead heart."

"Look at me Patrick," I say softly. He obeys. "I love you," I admit, "I've loved you since the moment I saw you in Spanish. Yes, my nature as a vampire thirsts for you blood. But the part of me that is a woman thirsts for much more. I am a monster…and I admit that." His gaze never leaves mine." "But regardless of that…I love you. I have entrusted you with my deepest secret. A secret that could destroy me, my family, and my kind. I've made a mess of my existence. I've made a mess of my family. I've done everything wrong…and I am sorry for that…but I want to do something right. And I think there is nothing more right than the truth. And the truth is…I love you." I break his gaze to stare a hole in the ground in front of me. "That's all Patrick," I say softly, "that is the end of my story."

Nothing but silence fills the clearing. Patrick is literally frozen in his seat. "Please say something," I whisper. "Holy shit," he replies, obviously the first thing on his mind. I smirk. "Please say something else?" I ask. "Like what?" he replies. I shrug. "You must be thinking something," I prod. "Yeah," he admits, "I'm thinking a hell of a lot." "I'll listen," I offer, "you can rant…rave…fuss…cuss…bitch…raise hell…I don't care. You did a noble thing listening to this…and I would be more than happy to repay that debt." He exhales a long breath. "This is insane," he says, "I mean REALLY insane." "There's no strings attached," I reply, "except one: you can't tell anyone. I don't expect you to stay with me."

"Then why did you tell me?" he ask, leaping to his feet, "why even bother?" "I WANT you to stay with me," I whisper, "but I couldn't unless I was completely honest with you." You had to know I was a vampire…a widow…broken…and in love with you. I wanted you to know so YOU could decide." "And if I say no, I just walk away?" he ask. I bite my bottom lip. "Yes," I say simply.

I mean it. If he tells me no, he will walk away from here. What I will do, I have no idea…but Patrick will leave this clearing alive. That's why I had to spit all of this out at once. I didn't want our feelings to grow and _then_ he find out what I am. The split now would be so painful I may never get off the floor of my room again. If I fell anymore in love with him, I might actually die from the grief instead of having to kill myself. "You say no," I repeat, "you walk away."


	15. Chapter 14

(A/N I hate to spoil the story, but did you REALLY think Patrick was going to say no? I mean come on!)

**Nope, I don't own Twilight.**

_CHAPTER 14-ALICE'S P.O.V._

"What if I say yes?" Patrick asks. This question stops me short. Short because as much as I wanted to be with him…it was honestly too much to ask for him to want to be with me. The plan was to tell him the truth and let him decide. I didn't expect a 'yes'.

"If you say yes," I begin, "your life will be in danger at all times. I have excellent control…but I still have a thirst for your blood." I shift. "All I can promise you is that I will love you and do everything in my power to make you happy…just as any other woman who loves you would." I let my head drop. "I can't promise you anything else except my heart."

He looks at me thoughtfully. "Who said I wanted anything special?" he asks. I look up. Was he serious? "Patrick," I reply, "you're getting a emotionally wrecked monster…" "Stop right there," Patrick says firmly, "we all have our own cross to bear." "But I'm a vampire." He rolls his eyes. "And I'm a socially withdrawn, sexually frustrated, overworked teenager with his own issues," he replies. "No," I fire back, "you're beautiful…and selfless…and loyal…" "You're not?" he cuts me off. "You're loyal to your family same as me. You're so selfless you're willing to bare your soul with no strings attached. And as far as beautiful…" now I cut him off. "Patrick," I butt in, "my beauty is to attract my natural pray…humans." He rolls his eyes." "Beauty is beauty," he states firmly, "rather it's from God…vampire transformation…or plastic surgery." "Alice," he says, kneeling in front of me, "you said it yourself…we have a connection." I start to open my mouth, but he covers it. "It's my turn to talk," he says.

He stands up. "You have been stuck in my head since the moment I laid eyes on you," he says, pacing. "My thoughts…my dreams…everything. Amber is mad as hell because all she hears is 'Alice, Alice, Alice'. Every damn time I'd see you, it's like there was something tugging at my chest to go to you Alice. Alice, all you've harped on is what you're not giving me…look at what you are. It's not every day that a beautiful, mythical creature pledges their love for you. Ok, it will be hard…whatever. I'm in. You gave me the choice…and I choose you."

I stare at him, dumbfounded. "Patrick," I reply, "are you sure?" He walks towards the stream, spitting his tobacco out of his mouth. He kneels down and takes a handful of water and swishes it in his mouth. He spits, stands, and walks to the center of the clearing. "Come here," he says softly, "let me prove it." I stand up, and move closer, just out of reach. Then he makes my vision come true: he crooks his finger at me, motioning me to come closer. That's all I need…my vision has come full circle. I take a deep breath, testing my blood lust, and comply. He takes my hand and pulls me into a long, deep kiss that triggers the right kind of desire. I even kick up my foot behind me, just for effect.

We break off the kiss and he softly says, "Ok, I need to know the rules". I nod. "The eyes tell the story of a vampire," I explain, "if my eyes are golden the danger is less. If they're black, I'm thirsty." He nods. "And me being close to you makes you thirsty?" he prods. I nod. "We hunt by scent," I explain, "and you being my singer…" I let it drop. He only nods. "So I need to keep contact to a minimum?" he asks. I shake my head. "Just don't be surprised or angry if I break contact abruptly," I explain, "it means I'm trying to get a handle on my…urges." He chuckles. "Like a cold shower?" he asks. I nod.

"Do my questions bother you?" he asks. I squeeze his hand and shake my head. "Not at all," I promise, "don't be surprised if I have some about human behavior." He smiles at that. "I may have some…difficult…question," he admits. I smile. "You can talk to me about anything Patrick," I say softly, "complete disclosure." He nods. "So what are we?" he ask. I give him a puzzled look. "Well," he explains, "I'm with a mythical being…'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' just seem too…plain." I giggle at that. "Bella said the same thing about Edward when they were dating," I reply.

He gets thoughtful about that. "Does you kind date humans that often?" he ask. I shake my head. "Some of my cousins…the ones from Alaska I told you about…use to pick up men," I say, shaking my head remembering Tanya, Kate, and Irina, "but it was more of a one night stand and not a relationship." "Vampires and humans can have sex?" he exclaims. "Um…yeah," I reply, "what did you expect?" "A lot of cold showers," he admits, "I didn't think it was possible…I thought Edward was the exception." I lean on his shoulder. "I would have to work on my self control," I say, thinking aloud, "and definitely hunt beforehand…" I bite my bottom lip. "But if you're asking me to love you like that…" "Not tonight," he says with a chuckle. I laugh right along with him. "I'm more worried about what I need to know now," he explains, "what we have to work on can wait till later." I like how he said that…"what WE have to work on".

"It's getting late," I comment, "and my family is going to wonder how this went." He nods then walks over and picks up the cooler. "Exactly how strong are you?" he asks. "I've honestly never measured it," I admit, "I could pick that jeep up and throw it with one arm…if it wouldn't piss Emmett off." He laughs. "That's another thing," I tell him, "not only do I have to control my thirst, I have to control my strength." He nods. "You have to tell me…if I hug you too hard, or squeeze you hand too much," I go on, "don't think you're sounding like a wimp if you do." "Alice, I watched you crush a freaking rock and kill a grizzly bear with your teeth," he replies, "you can bet your cute little ass I'm man enough to admit if you wound me." I giggle at this.

"Want to drive?" I ask. He shrugs. "Sure," he says. We get in Emmett's Jeep and he turns back toward the main trail. "Are you ok?" I ask. He smiles. "Relieved actually," he admits, "I mean…yeah it's a big secret…but I'm glad to be in the know." I lean my head on his shoulder. "What does your family think?" he asks. I shrug. "They're very happy I found someone," I admit, "they suffered with me when I lost Jasper…especially Emmett." He nods at this. I start stroking his arm absently. I get an idea. It's something I've always wanted, but due to family constraints I've never been able to try it. Having Pat I see how it could be possible now. "Can I ask you for something?" I ask.

"Sure," he replies. I take a deep breath. "I want to be normal," I explain, "or as normal as we can be. I want to sit in the stands and wear your letterman jacket and cheer for you while you're playing football. I want to go to dances and to the prom. I want to go to movies and make out in the back row. I want to go to parties…and study sessions…and hang out…and shop with other girls…and have sleepovers…and park on some back road and feel each other up in the car…and be a normal teenager." He smiles. "I'm serious," I sigh, "I know you're Mr. Anti-Social and all…but I want to try to be normal."

He laughs. "Know why I'm that way?" he asks. "You're always busy?" I ask. He shakes his head. "I'm broke," he admits, "between sports and taking care of home I don't have time for a job…not that Pops would let me. He thinks me playing is a better investment in my future. I have money," I reply quickly. He shakes his head. "Seriously," I reply, "between having almost 120 years to accumulate it, the ability to predict what's going to happen in the stock market, a father and brother who are doctors, and decades of buying and sitting on real estate we have money literally just gathering dust." He frowns at this.

"Pat," I say softly, testing to see how well my charm works on him, "I use to buy an outfit…wear it once…and donate it to Goodwill. I promise I can afford prom tickets." "You're trying to dazzle me," he says. "Another vampire trait," I admit, "is it working?" "Maybe," he replies, "provided you don't go overboard." "Define overboard?" I ask. "Flaunting it," he replies, "your family already sticks out…throwing around money would just make it more obvious." I smile. "I can be subtle," I reply, snuggling against him arm. Even through the thick, wet parka I can feel the warmth of his arm.

Carlisle and Esme are home when Patrick pulls up. I can hear their muffled voices from outside. "Pat…you look nervous," I whisper. He does. His face is a lot paler and his heart rate has picked up. "Do they know…everything?" he ask. "Define 'everything'," I whisper. "That I know the secret?" he whispers. "Yes," I reply. "That I love you?" he whispers. I smile at that. "Yes," I whisper, "they can hear you by the way." I hear Emmett chuckling in the house." "Watch," I whisper in his ear. "Emmett," I say in a low voice, "come to the front porch so Patrick knows you can hear him please." Emmett immediately opens the door. "Shit," Patrick mumbles. I giggle. "Come on," I whisper.

He still doesn't move. "What's wrong?" I whisper, "are you still nervous?" He nods. "Talk to me," I whisper, rubbing his arm. "When you say family," Patrick whispers, "do you mean _family_?" I nod. "That part is not an act," I whisper, "I really do consider Carlisle my father, Esme my mother, and Edward, Bella, and Emmett my siblings." He nods slowly. "But do they like me?" he ask. I suppress the urge to giggle again. "You're too much like Bella," I whisper, "just like her…when she met the family. She was afraid too…that we wouldn't accept her. Screw the fact she could be in danger, she was afraid we wouldn't like her." He smiles at this. "Come on," I whisper, "I won't let anything happen to you…and neither would they." He takes a deep breath, steadying himself. "Ok," he replies, getting out.

We get out and meet at the front of the Jeep. Him being so much taller than I was, I put my hand on his upper arm instead of holding his hand. "Breathe Pat," I whisper, "everything's fine." I see him take a deep breath and nod out of the corner of his eye. We step on the porch and Emmett snarls. Both Patrick and I flinch and I have to stop him from trying to get between my brother and me as Emmett drops into a crouch. "I better NOT see you driving my Jeep again," Emmett roars. I leap between them, snarling viciously.

Emmett quickly stands out of his crouch. "Gotcha," he smirks. Patrick is as white as snow. "That was NOT funny," I snarl, stalking towards Emmett. "Yeah…it was," Emmett continues to smirk. The rest of the family comes rushing out the front door. Carlisle gets in between us. "I'm sorry Alice…Patrick," Carlisle says softly, "if I had known he was going to do that, I would have stopped him." Emmett is still smirking and my crouch lowers. "Alice," Edward warns, "get it under control." I ignore him. "Alice," Patrick says, moving to grab my hand, "it's ok…I'm alright." I straighten up immediately, startling him with my speed. I throw my arms around his stomach and bury my head against his chest. "I'm so sorry," I mutter. Surprisingly, he wraps his arms around me. "I'm alright," he repeats, "I promise." I look up at him. His heart is still pounding, but just like when Edward had grabbed my arm, he's swallowing his fear. "Let's get inside everyone," Carlisle suggests, "EVERYONE will behave themselves." He gives me and Emmett both pointed looks. I nod and take Pat's arm again, escorting him inside.

Bella and Esme are waiting inside, hanging back so they don't scare Patrick. "He knows everything," I tell them. They nod. "Are you ok Patrick? Esme ask sweetly. "I think so," he replies honestly. "We are the same people…for lack of a better term…that we were before you knew," she says sadly, "please remember that." He nods. "Yes ma'am," he says. I can still hear his breathing and heartbeat. He's nervous, but fighting it.

Bella slowly approaches, then hugs him gently. "I'm glad she told you," she says softly. Surprisingly, Patrick hugs her back. She releases him, but doesn't back up. "And you're right Alice," she says with a smile, "he does smell nice." Everyone but Patrick and I burst out laughing. I glare at Bella, horrified. Emmett is laughing so hard he has to sit down. Esme is covering her mouth to hide it, but her whole body is shaking. Even Carlisle is chuckling softly. "What's so funny?" Patrick asks, his eyes wide. "That," Edward says from behind us, "is revenge." "Sit down," Edward offers, walking around us, 'and I'll explain."

I gently tug his arm and lead him to the couch. "The first time I brought Bella to meet the family," Edward explains, "Alice did exactly what Bella just did to you." "She walked up to her without prompting…hugged her…then turned to me and told me "you're right, she does smell nice"." Patrick actually cracks a smile. "Freaking vampires got jokes," he grumbles, causing Emmett to start laughing again. "You looked exactly like I did Alice," Edward says, joining in the laughter, "completely horrified." "I'm sorry Patrick," Bella says, taking a seat on the floor in front of us, "but that was a once in an existence chance to get her back…and I couldn't let it go." He shrugs in response. "I'll get use to it," he says. He's trying so hard to be brave. I can't believe how lucky I am.

"If I may ask," Edward ask, "can I see what happened?" I nod, then let my memory of the events flow through my mind. Edward looks angry. "You killed a bear in front of him?" he hisses. "It was that or let the bear eat him," I reply with a shrug. Edward's eyes narrow. "You could've ran him out of there," Edward replies, "that was very dangerous Alice." "She got the point across," Patrick jumps in, "no harm no foul." Edward glares at him and I stiffen. "Patrick," Edward says evenly, "a human close by while we're hunting is _very_ dangerous…even for experienced vampires. Promise me you two will be more careful in the future?" Patrick and I nod.

I lean on Patrick's arm, snuggling against him. He smells even better wet…if that's possible. Edward nods at that thought and replies: "Bella's scent was stronger in the rain." Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett nod in agreement. "Are you ok?" Pat whispers, his lips grazing the top of my head. I shiver and nod. "The more I'm around you the easier it is," I reply. I feel him nod. "Are you still staying tonight?" Carlisle asks, "of course we want you to but if you would feel more comfortable going home…" "Sure," Patrick says quickly, "unless I'm intruding." "Please stay," I say quickly as I turn my head to look up at him.

He looks at me carefully. "The story was we were going to observe you until Sunday," Edward chimes in, "and unless you're uncomfortable it would be better to stick to the story." I scowl to myself. I didn't want Pat to stay for the story…I want to stay because he wants to. "If it's not any trouble then," Pat replies. I throw my arms around his neck, surprising him. He chuckles and hugs me back gently. I giggle as his stomach rumbles. "Are you ready to eat?" Esme ask, "we brought you back something." Patrick smiles at Esme. "That sounds good," he replies.

I lead him to the kitchen were Esme has his Chinese take-out on the counter. "Let me guess," he says, "Edward read my mind." I giggle in response. "Well, it smells good," he replies, opening up a carton. I smile as I watch him eat, fighting the urge to wrinkle my nose. He notices. "What would happen if one of y'all tried to eat this?" he ask, swallowing a piece of beef. "Human food smells horrible," I explain, "and taste just as bad to us. I can chew and swallow it…but not digest it. If I pretend to eat, I have to cough it up later." He raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Yeah, it sucks," I admit, "that's why we try to avoid situations where we have to. Being able to move faster than a human eye can follow helps with hiding it too…so it looks like we're eating." Patrick nods. "Does that bother you?" I ask. He shakes his head and swallows another mouthful. "No," he replies, "I just figure I need to know what I need to help you with…when we're together. Like if mom or grandpa invite you to dinner." I smile at this.

"You never did answer my question," he says, picking at his food, "about what we are." "Vampires…being more animal than human sometimes…refer to their other half as their 'mate'," I explain, "though I understand we can't call each other that in mixed company." He chuckles at this. "You can tell people I'm your girlfriend," I say, then quickly add: "if you want to." He smiles at this. "Yeah," he replies, "I want to." I squeal and hug him. Was I always such a girl? "Yes Alice, you were," comes Edward's reply from the living room. Stupid mind reader. "Then to be fair," Patrick says shyly, "if you want to of course…you can call me your 'mate'." I smile. "We'll see how that goes," I reply. His smile drops at this. "Patrick," I say quickly, "a 'mate' is more like the human version of husband and wife," I explain, "it's not that I don't want that…I just don't want that just yet." He looks at me sadly. "No Pat," I continue, "I want to be normal…remember?" He nods. "Let's date first," I reply, "and let nature take its course." "What about 'I love you'?" Patrick asks. I sigh. Shit, I've backed myself into a corner.

See, I would love to have what he's talking about. There are just two problems. The first is, I'm still broken. This beautiful boy, rather he knows it or not, is putting Alice back together…but there's still more work to be done. Second…is Patrick himself. Who knows how he's going to feel when he's had time to sleep on it? Is the fact he's with a bloodsucking monster going to change how he feels? That's why I insisted on telling him everything…I couldn't tell him I loved him and THEN tell him that I was a vampire. It wouldn't have been fair to him.

"Patrick," I say softly, "I do love you. But so much has happened." "You've had so much thrown at you today…and I've had so much the past two decades. Combine that with complications we'll face because of what I am…" I stop. "I hate to play this card," I say, biting my bottom lip, "but I'm going to. If you love me…you'll let me take this slow. I only want to keep either of us from getting hurt." He sighs. Silence ensues as he pushes his food around his plate. "Ok," he says finally, "I only want to be with you. If that's what I have to do…" I look up at him. His eyes are smoldering. Smoldering like Edward's do when he looks at Bella…though it's different with Pat's blue eyes. _He loves me!_ I think. I hear Edward chuckle again from the living room.


	16. Chapter 15

**Still don't own Twilight.**

CHAPTER 15-ALICE'S P.O.V.

"Another question," Patrick asks as he twirls noodles around with his fork, "where is you coffin?" I give him a funny look, then figure out what he's talking about. "Myth," I explain, "actually we don't sleep." "Never?" Pat asks, surprised. I shake my head. "We never get tired," I explain, "only weak and fatigued when we've fasted for too long." He nods at this and stuffs the lo mein in his mouth. "That makes sense," Patrick says thoughtfully after chewing and swallowing, "when you told me vampires could…be intimate…I wondered how you 'handled business' in a coffin." I hear Emmett laughing in the living room. "I wondered why I didn't hear anyone go to bed last night," he comments absentmindedly.

He then eats for a few minutes, obviously deep in thought. "When you said sunlight wouldn't hurt you, but it was 'complicated…"he ask. "I'll have to show you," I reply, "I don't know if it could explain it right." He nods. "Does anything work?" he ask, "we've already covered garlic and crosses…what about a wooden stake?" I shake my head. "Remember when you tackled me?" I ask. "Yeah," he says, "like hitting a concrete bridge support." "Think you could drive a wooden stake into that?" I ask. He shakes his head. "Exactly," I reply, "silver won't work either…or holy water." Patrick nods, still eating. "And tearing a vampire apart is only necessary to stop them from moving?" he ask. "It's the actual fire that kills them?" I nod. "That's why I tried to end my existence the way I did," I reply sadly. "Glad you didn't," he says softly, reaching over to squeeze my hand.

Carlisle comes in and sits across from us. "Are you alright Patrick?" he ask. "Surprisingly…yeah, I'm good," Patrick replies, "it's like Esme said…y'all are the same people you were before I knew." Carlisle smiles at this. "Carlisle is the oldest of us," I tell Patrick, "so if you have a question I can't explain, I promise he can." "What else is out there?" Patrick asks, "Werewolves?" "Leprechauns?" "Bigfoot?" "Werewolves do exist," Carlisle replies, "but I haven't seen one in over two hundred years." "Alice mentioned the Volturi?" Patrick and I both nod. "They hunted them to near extinction," Carlisle explains, "and as far as I know…no leprechauns or Bigfoot." He chuckles at this.

"Shape-shifters do though." "What's that?" Patrick asks. I grit my teeth and let Carlisle answer that question. "Some humans have an extra gene," Carlisle explains, "that gives them the ability to take another form. We met a tribe of them in Washington…actually Quileute Indians…who possess the ability to shift into large wolves." "But they're not werewolves?" Patrick asks, confused. Carlisle shakes his head. "Werewolves are created by being bitten by another werewolf…like a vampire is," he explains, "shape-shifters inherit the gene." "Gotcha," Patrick replies. "Alice says you all have a story," Patrick says, "can I hear yours Dr. Cullen?" "Only if you call me Carlisle," he replies with a smile. Patrick nods in agreement.

I lean my head against Patrick again as Carlisle tells him his story. Now dry, his scent isn't as potent and I can take it easier than when he first came in. Patrick pays strict attention, only interrupting to ask an occasional question. I freeze when Patrick lets his hand drop, then rest it on my leg. He gently rests it mid thigh, curling it so it's on the inside, and gives my leg a gentle squeeze. It's the most intimate gesture since our kiss…since I told him the truth. He gives me a concerned look when my muscles lock and slowly goes to move his hand away. I quickly move my own hand to stop him, relaxing when I'm sure I'm in control, and give him a small smile. Carlisle never stops talking, but the smile on his face tells me he's noticed. Even with the burning in my throat, I wouldn't trade anything for the closeness right now.

Carlisle finishes his story and I send Patrick up to get a shower and get ready for bed. He protests, but I tell him that maybe he needs some time to process all this. Carlisle agrees and Patrick dejectedly walks to his room. "Well done Alice," Carlisle says, moving to put an arm around his shoulder, "I can't express with words how pleased I am." "It's Patrick," I reply, "he's the one that handled it so well." Carlisle shakes his head. "Patrick is only the opportunity," Carlisle replies, "just like Bella was for Edward." "If you had rejected him…" he lets it drop. "What you did…and are doing…is very brave," he picks back up, "and we all are so proud of you." I feel my eyes beginning to well up, though I know no tears are coming. "So what now?" I ask, wiping them.

He exhales a long breath. "For now," he replies, "nothing." "You two work on your relationship. Let you love build. You will have more difficulties in the future…all relationships do…but I am confident you two can handle whatever comes." He smiles. "Don't give up on him Alice," he says, leaning over to rest his head on mine, "and don't give up on you." I take a deep breath and hug my father figure tightly. "The shower's stopped running," he says kissing my temple, "don't keep Patrick waiting."

Edward and Bella are sitting together on the couch. She is leaned against him. Esme is knitting something…a blanket I believe…and Emmett is nowhere to be found. I swear I'll hurt him if he's messing with Patrick. Edward gives me a pointed look, then shakes his head. Giving him a grateful smile, I skip up the stairs.

Patrick is lying in bed, propped up on the pillows, the door open. I make sure to approach slowly, so that I don't startle him. "Come on in," he says with an easy smile. I give him one in return, mine more mischievous, and leap onto the bed, landing beside him without disturbing the covers. "Still ok?" I ask. He smiles. "Yeah," he replies, "you're not so scary Alice." I give a look of mock horror. "Seriously?" I ask. "No," he admits, "I can't lie…I was scared shitless when you took down that bear…and when you and Emmett squared off." I let my head drop. "I'm not a fool Alice," he says firmly, lifting my chin up with the tips if his fingers.

The spark when our skin touches nearly takes my breath away. "A human can hurt another human," he replies slowly, "the danger is the same." I shake my head. "If I were human and tried to hurt you," I reply, swallowing hard, "you could fight back…" He places his finger on my lips, shushing me. "If you were human," he insist, "you would be the one that couldn't fight back…I would be the one too strong for you." He releases my lips. "I want to be with you," he insist, "you have to trust me when I tell you I understand those risk."

Taking a deep breath and finding my resolve good, I lean forward to kiss him. He meets me halfway, our lips meeting with light, tender pressure. I keep it light, amazed at how soft his are compared to mine. I don't know if it's fear or just his mood, but he doesn't press…the aggressiveness from last night isn't there. Not that I'm complaining. I can feel he's meant every word he told me. That he loves me. As his lips move against mine, there's no doubt in my mind he means what he says.

He breaks off the kiss and touches my face. "This is hard," he admits. I bite my bottom lip. "What do you mean?" I ask softly. He hesitates. "This won't work if we can't talk," I reply, keeping my voice soft, "and you can tell me anything." "I know how I feel," he admits, "but I don't know what to act on." I give him a puzzled look. "Then…when we were kissing," he explains, "I…wanted to be closer to you." He pauses, looking away for a moment. When his gaze returns to mine, his eyes are much shyer. "My first instinct was to roll you on your back…so I could be on top of you," he goes on, "but I didn't know if it would…set you off. Then I thought maybe I could pull you on top of me…but I didn't know what that would do either." I nod in understanding. "Patrick," I whisper, "I want you to be cautious…but not completely afraid. I swear my first instinct when I smell you is to run away. My nature wants your blood…but my heart doesn't want to see you harmed." "You're hands aren't tied," I continue, "you just need to be on your guard…just like I am." He nods. "Can we try again then?" he asks. I smile and nod.

The second kiss was much more like last night. Patrick came at me with less restraint, putting a hand on my hip and pulling me to him. I submit to him; content to be the prey for the first time. Once again, he let his hand drift to the back of my thigh and pulled my leg up around his waist. I inhale sharply, but quickly shoot my hands to the back of his head so he wouldn't pull away. I don't want it to end right now.

The taste of his tongue on mine sent my mind reeling, though the back of it is keeping tabs on everything I needed to be cautious of. Patrick increased the speed of his mouth and I achingly complied. When he pulled and rolled onto his back, pulling me on top of him. I couldn't have pulled away if I wanted to; our bodies seemed to be connected by a magnetic energy. I ran my fingers through his hair and decided to test my resolve. Being in the dominant position, I attacked his mouth, savoring his taste. Patrick's breathing increased…though his mouth never broke rhythm with mine. Gods, his warmth against me made my thighs tingle, his hands on my waist the only thing holding me together.

We break off the kiss and I move to his ear, giving it a gentle nibble. He sighs contently and slides his hands under my sweatshirt, resting them on the sides of my stomach. I exhale longingly, then kiss his jaw line, leaving a trail down the side of her neck. I move all the way down to his collarbone, then back up…stopping at his neck, savoring the taste of his skin. My lips pull back and my teeth graze his jugular, pounding against my lips…

I was across the room before he even registered the absence of my weight on his body. "You ok?" he ask, sitting up. I'm standing straight up, back flat against the wall, panting. My eyes are black…and my thirst is killing me…but my muscles are locked fiercely together, preventing from moving. "Give me a minute," I whisper meekly. He nods, though he does shift so he's sitting on the edge of the bed with his feet on the floor. "Why did you do that?" I ask, a little harsher than I meant it to sound. He gives me a puzzled look. "I asked," he says weakly. "You put yourself at my mercy," I snarl. "Yes," he admits in a low, sad voice, "I did." I shake my head. "I need to go hunt," I say quickly. "Are you angry?" he ask softly. I nod. "Yes," I admit, "but not at you," I say as I turn and hurry out of the house.

Edward is right on my heels. "I heard," he says as we run through the woods, "too much too fast Alice." I huff. "It's…difficult," he says, keeping up with me with ease, "probably more so than it was for Bella and I." I turn and look at him without breaking stride. "Teenage boys are more hormone driven," he explains, "and while Bella…up until we got close to our wedding anyway…was less _aggressive_, Patrick is probably going to be more." We slow down. "You're going to have to be extra careful Alice," Edward says in a detached voice, "I saw into his mind…he is a gentleman, but he's also a male. He was going to let what happened in their go exactly as far as you would let it go." I frown at this. "Edward," I hesitate, "what do I do?" I felt embarrassed asking my brother this…but I'm at a dead end. Because Patrick may have been willing to let things go as far as I wanted, I was willing to _push_ it as far as he was willing.

Edward clears his throat, obviously seeing my last thought. "You're old enough to be his grandmother," Edward says patiently, "so you're going to have to be the adult here." I swear I would stop my foot in annoyance if I thought it would do any good. Edward chuckles again, seeing in my head. "Alice, I'm not saying it to be a prude," he explains, "but I don't need your visions to tell me what would've happened if you two had gone much further…" he lets it drop. I don't need a vision either. If he had even survived to clothes coming off, his skin and his scent would've equaled his death. Edward nods at that. "I'm not saying shut it off," he goes on, "believe me…if I had known how good it was with Bella, I don't think we would've made it to our honeymoon. But it's something you're going to have to work on." He puts a hand on my shoulder and I put my hand on top of his. "Baby steps sister," he says softly, "I promise it will get easier." I nod.

Damnit, I'm still frustrated though. I wanted to know everything. How his naked body would feel against mine…how it would feel to have his mouth against MY neck…how the coarse hair on his chest would feel against my hardened nip…BAD ALICE! Edward rolls his eyes and let mine drop onto the ground. "Your eyes are black," he says thankfully changing the subject, "let's hunt."

We have to travel a good long way to find a bedded herd of elk. The rain has turned to sleet and the animals are bedded down against the weather. Edward, always the gentleman, lets me have first crack, which I immediately take, drinking two before the herd even scatters. We run back in silence, Edward realizing I need to be alone with my thoughts. I feel better after hunting, but I know that could change in an instant. We get back to the house and I go upstairs to take a shower, avoiding Patrick's room. I run the water scalding hot, knowing it won't warm me, but hoping it will knock the ice off the surface of my skin from the sleet. I'm going back…I can't stay away.

I throw on another pair of sweatpants and I t-shirt before easing into his room. Patrick is dozing. It's late…after midnight I'm sure…and I don't want to wake him. I sit down on the edge of the bed beside him and gently cup his cheek with my hand. He wakes with a start. "I'm sorry Alice," he says quickly, before even waking, "I didn't mean to…" I cut him off. "It's ok Pat," I whisper, "we're just going to have to slow down." He nods. "So what do we do?" he ask. I ponder. "Well," I reply, "obviously we can kiss…as long as we stay 'neutral'." "Why don't we stop it there…and let me get comfortable with that." He nods. "Once I've gotten completely comfortable with that," I continue, "we'll move in baby steps." He smiles at this. "I've got nothing but patience," he replies, patting the side of the bed.

I move over there and lie down facing him. "What were you thinking?" I ask. He gives me a puzzled look. "When you pulled me on top of you," I add, "you put the predator in a position of dominance." He shrugs, but doesn't reply. "Pat," I say softly but sternly, "communicate…remember?" He nods. "Don't take this the wrong way," he say shyly, "but I don't know how else to explain it." I nod. "You keep referring to your kind…and their tendencies…as 'animalistic'," he begins. I nod. "I wanted you close to me," he continues, "and like I said earlier…it was roll on top of you or pull you on top of me."

He's quiet for a moment. "Go on," I encourage. "While we were kissing, I weighed both options," he continues, "and yes…pulling you on top of me might seem strange. However, I was afraid if I was on top of you…and you felt trapped…that it would be more likely to trigger your…instincts." I bite my bottom lip and nod. He shrugs. "It's not like there was anymore danger for me either way," he says hesitantly, "so I went with what I thought would make you the most comfortable…you could be in control and if you decided you needed to back out, it would be easier than if you were stuck between me and the bed." I smile at this. Edward was right…he picked his desire over the danger. "Let me do the pulling or pushing from now on," I state, "until I get this under control." He nods. "Anything for you Alice," he replies softly.

I snuggle against his chest and he tenderly wraps his arms around me. Jasper use to say that…"Anything for you Alice". The thought, surprisingly, doesn't make me sad. I know Jasper loved me. The tenderness in his eyes…the love we shared…his sacrifice…all those were evidence of that love. The fact Patrick said the exact same thing…without knowing that about Jasper…makes me believe he feels the same way. Patrick dozes off again, rolling onto his back. I pull the blanket over us both and lay my head against his chest…listening to his heart. I lay just like this…with only that heartbeat and the sound of his breathing…until morning.


	17. Chapter 16

**I do not own Twilight. Seriously...is this disclaimer _really_ necessary?**

CHAPTER 16-ALICE'S P.O.V.

Patrick slept until mid morning. "Morning," I whisper, still on his chest when he wakes up. "Morning," he says sleepily, placing a hand on my cheek. "Sleep well?" I ask. He nods, then remove his hand from my cheek to rub his eyes. "I haven't slept this late since last summer," he admits, turning to look at the clock. That makes me feel better…I was afraid he would be too cold.

"You're still here," he says, turning back to stare into my eyes. I nod. "I was afraid I had dreamed it," he admits. I smile at that. "Alice," he says, his cheeks flooding with color, "I need to…" "You need some human time," I reply for him. He nods. I smile. "We'll have breakfast ready when you get down," I say, easing up. He nods and gives my hand a gentle squeeze. I lean over and kiss his forehead before leaving him.

I run into my room to change. In my haste to get back to him last night, I had only thrown on sweatpants and a t-shirt…no undergarments. BAD ALICE! I remedy that and put on some jeans and a navy blue sweater. Edward is making pancakes when I come down. "So far so good," I tell him before he can ask. "I heard," he admits though I knew everyone in the house could hear, "you're doing the right thing." I smile. "I hope so," I reply. He chuckles.

"Everyone always complimented me on my self control," he says, thinking aloud, "but no one every mentioned how good your is. You were…and still are…Bella's best friend. Obviously Carlisle had the best control…and I was second on the list. You were definite third…and only third because I was…intimately closer to her than you were." "It's easier when you love them," I add. He nods. "Exactly," he agrees. Both our heads turn as Patrick comes down the stairs. "Glad he's more graceful than Bella was," Edward mumbles.

Patrick ate in silence as I sat beside him. It was a comfortable silence…I didn't pick up an ounce of tension. Once done I take his dishes at vampire speed and put them in the sink. "Let's just hang out here today," I suggest, leading him back into the living room, "I want you to get to know my family." He smiles and nods vigorously.

"Alice…can I talk to you a moment?" Edward asks as Patrick sits down. I nod and we move to the corner of the room. "I hate to bring this up," Edward whispers to low for Patrick to hear, "but we sort of need you. Since you stopped handling our 'finances'…our money supply has dwindled." "It's not critical by no means," he adds quickly, "Carlisle's salary is more than sufficient. I'm just saying we won't be buying anymore new Porsche's in the near future. Carlisle also wanted to pay for Patrick's hospital bills…not only keeping up with the illusion he saved your life, but because he IS grateful. I nod in agreement. "We've sold most of our stocks in the past two decades," he goes on, "and if you feel up to it…" "Will I get us back on track?" I finish for him. He sighs and nods. "It's no problem Edward," I agree, "I need to do some shopping anyway."

I sit down next to Patrick on the couch and grab Esme's laptop. "I need to handle some business first," I tell him, "if that's ok?" "Of course," he replies. Esme has him engaged in conversation about his family and she has put him right at ease. I check our portfolio, and see Edward wasn't lying. It takes me about half an hour…with visions…but I see a few stocks that will make a good profit by the end of the year. I'll work on it more later.

That done, I go to Victoria's Secret. I don't plan on anything intimate in the near future with Patrick, but my undergarments were starting to look a little frayed. I concentrate, deciding I'm going to buy something, then seeing his reaction in my vision. Huh. Patrick surprises me. Of course he doesn't like the high waisted "granny panties". That's no surprise. What does surprise me: no to thongs or string bikinis. Seems the boy will like undergarments that hug and accents my body…not completely covers or completely shows everything. Regular bikini panties seem to get a good reaction, so I buy a few pair of them with matching bras. Boyshorts get an even better reaction in my vision. I smile at this; I always liked those too. A couple pairs of briefs, low cut of course and several pairs of hip huggers. I'll save the more risqué stuff for later.

Surprising, color doesn't seem to be much of an issue with him so I go with a variety. _You look beautiful in anything, _he says in my vision. _Yes_, I'm buying what I think he would like…but this is for me. I want to _feel _pretty. Edward brings me my credit card without me asking. "I approve Alice," he whispers too low for Patrick, "there's nothing wrong with what you're thinking." I smile at him and pay for my items. I see my closet being cleaned out in the near future.

We spend the rest of the morning chatting with Esme. She fills Patrick in on her story, both before and after her transformation. Her eyes literally dance when I lean my head onto Patrick's arm…and even more so when he moves the arm to wrap it around my shoulders so I'm leaned against his chest. I savor the warmth and take the slow torture of his scent with a smile. Carlisle comes down and they discuss his family more. Patrick is obviously not ashamed of his mom and openly tells my parents of her lifestyle. I have no worry…not much chance of being judged by vampires. His eyes light up discussing Tori, of course. Esme tells him of Renesmee, which Patrick finds fascinating. I'm not surprised…I'm fascinated and I lived it. I actually feel sad about this. I mean, I was so wrapped up in my grief I missed Renesmee growing up. I wonder if Patrick would like to meet her?

We break for lunch and Pat eats leftover lasagna again. "No point in it going to waste," he says. Once again we sit in a comfortable silence. If he seems put off by me watching him eat he doesn't show it. Emmett's back when Pat finishes and Emmett immediately launches into his story. I know why Emmett jumped in to tell his…it's as painful to him as mine. Rosaline was his other half…just as Jasper was mine. Losing her left a gaping hole. I mean, Rosaline was the one who found Emmett as a human…bloody and dying from being mauled by a grizzly bear…and resisted her very nature to carry him over a hundred miles to Carlisle because she feared she didn't have the restraint to change him herself. Even at vampire speed, running over a hundred miles with a blood-soaked human had to have been difficult considering how new to the life Rosaline was.

Rosaline was considered shallow and self-centered by some…and rightfully so. It was the side of her personality she showed the outside world. Just like Patrick showed only the strong, silent warrior on the outside. It was her defense mechanism. Emmett's eyes showed nothing but love as he told of the Volturi attack from his perspective. It was a story I had never heard.

"When Jasper went down," he said softly, "Rosaline was right behind him. She knew it was her day to die." He hung his head. "She…shoved me…hard enough that I almost knocked Jacob over…a good thirty yards away." He swallows. "Jacob was at the rear by this time…when they went for Alice he ran with Renesmee on his back…like we told him to. When I got up, I turned and saw her attacking Jane. She got Jane…but Caius got her." His jaw tightens. "I got Caius," he growls, "and I will regret for the rest of my existence I couldn't be human for five minutes so I could've pissed on his ashes when I was done burning him." Patrick doesn't make a sound.

"That battle…was a turning point in your world?" he finally ask in a soft voice, "like World War Two was in ours?" Carlisle and Esme nod. "One we didn't choose," Carlisle agrees softly. "I don't regret it," Emmett says, his jaw still clenched, "even with losing Rose." Patrick's eyebrows furrow in bewilderment. "Vampire women can't bear children," Carlisle explains for Emmett, "biologically, a female's body has to change to bear a child…both for ovulation and to accommodate a growing child inside their body." Patrick nods, though he still looks puzzled. "Rosaline would've given up her immortality to have children," Emmett explains, "Renesmee was like a gift to her. She mothered that girl like she was her own." "She was willing to die to keep Renesmee from them," Patrick says absently. Emmett gives him a slow nod. "The toughest thing I've ever done in my existence," Emmett says gravely, "was not to sacrifice myself for someone I love…it was to watch her sacrifice herself for what she loved…me by shoving me clear…and Renesmee."

It gets quiet in the living room after that. Patrick sits deep in thought, absorbing the story. Bella and Edward return and I snuggle closer to him, his scent taking a backseat to the warmth I feel against him. He asks no questions this time, his mind deep in thought. Edward's eyes narrow on him and I think to him wanting to know what's going on. Edward shakes his head. I'll ask Pat later. Edward gives me a nod. Good idea. Bella looks at Edward occasionally, her eyes full of love. Even with her eyes golden instead of the brown she had as a human, the looks stays the same.

"Patrick," Edward ask, interrupting the story, "why didn't you mention you had a headache?" Patrick's body shrugs against my head. "I do sometimes when I sleep late," he says. "Bad?" I ask, looking up at him. He shakes his head. "Nothing a few Tylenol wouldn't cure," he replies. Esme stands and goes to get him something. "Do you guys get headaches?" he asks. "I do sometimes," I reply, "when I'm trying too hard to 'see' something." He nods at this, then pulls me closer. Esme returns with the pills and a glass of water. "Thank you," Patrick says politely, using his free hand to take the pills and put them in his mouth, then taking the glass of water. His other arm never leaves me.

Conversation begins amongst my family after Esme sits back down. Patrick doesn't join. It's the old Patrick, silent and almost brooding. Like he has something on his mind. I want to know what's it is, but I don't want to pry. Besides, I think I'd have a better chance of getting him to talk when we're alone.

I've missed this the past two decades. Yes Patrick is a human. Yes he's nowhere near my equally physically. But being held by this boy makes me feel warm inside. Safe. Like we're the only two people in the room. I tuck my nose into his shirt and breathe in his scent, ignoring the fire scorching my throat. We sit this way till late afternoon.

After the last of the lasagna, Patrick calls home to check on things. We ignore his conversation as best we can, though from what I did hear everything is fine at home. Patrick had to keep reiterating to Pops that he was minding his manners and doing his best to not be any trouble. He spoke to his grandfather for several minutes, then even longer to Tori while Esme did the dishes. He promised her he would be home tomorrow. She was still with Amber, which was ok with Patrick. He did speak to Amber, though you could pick up some tension in his voice. "_Everything_ is fine Amber," he assured her though I could tell he was straining not to yell, "would you relax?"

I tuned him out until I heard him hiss, "_That's_ not necessary." Edward couldn't control his laugher. "What?" I ask. "She wants to know if Patrick has any 'protection'," he smirks. "She suspects what we are?" I ask, scared. Emmett burst out laughing. "No little sis," he says through his laughter, "she wants to know if he has a condom." If I could blush… "Patrick is as embarrassed as you are," Edward assures me, "I think he understands your relationship very well." "Good," Emmett chimes in, "I wondered what he meant by it's not _necessary_. Did he mean, 'I don't plan on that' or 'I don't need it because she's a vampire'?" "The first one," Edward assures. He then gets a thoughtful look. "That boy really does care for you Alice," he says absentmindedly, "he's worried about what Amber thinks about you." I smile at this. Patrick is as beautiful on the inside as he is on the outside.

"I guess y'all heard that," Patrick says as he walked back into the living room, "and I'm sorry for it." "Don't trouble yourself Pat," Bella says quickly, "we understand how friends can be." She gives me a dirty look when I say that, then gives Emmett the same look. "Still…" he continues but Bella cuts him off. "Patrick," she says, "people are going to think what they want to sometimes. Best to ignore it." He nods and plops down on the couch next to me, putting his arm around my shoulder. "Let's watch a movie," Esme suggest. Everyone nods in agreement.

Emmett put a western in…'Unforgiven'…and we settled in to watch. "I want to try something," I whisper to Pat. He nods. I stand up and take his hand, pulling him up so I can sit on the end of the couch. "Lie down…with your head in my lap?" I ask. He smiles. "You sure?" he asks. I nod. I sit down and pat my leg. He shrugs and complies, turning his body away so he can see the screen.

This was both a good and a bad idea. Good because I could run my fingers through his hair. Bad because not only do I have the burning sensation in the back of my throat I had that same burn…somewhere else. BAD ALICE! I held completely still and Pat, sensing my mood, did the same. Wow. I didn't realize something so simple could feel so intimate. I had seen every couple do this. I had even held Jasper this way. But for some reason, here with Patrick I felt so…alive. He laughed when Clint Eastwood, after emptying his revolver trying to shoot a can off a fence post and missing every time, threw the pistol on the ground, marched into his house, came back off with a double barrel shotgun, and blew the can off the post. I smile at his laugh and wonder what it would feel like if his head were turned around…his warm breath caressing my…BAD ALICE! I swear this was harder than I thought.

We finish the movie and Emmett puts in something even older…"Animal House". About half an hour into the movie though, I notice Pat's not laughing. I tilt my head forward and see his eyes drooping. He must be falling asleep. Edward nods. _Maybe I should get him upstairs, _I think. Edward shakes his head. "He's comfortable right there Alice," he whispers. I smile at that. Esme does drape a blanket over him. He never moves except for once to snuggle deeper against my leg. Whoa! That increased the fire for a moment. "You ok?" Bella ask. I smile and nod, smoothing out Pat's hair. I'm as ok as I've been in a _long _time.

I give Patrick a gentle shake when the movie is over. "Bedtime for the human," I whisper in his ear. He wakes up slowly. "Sorry," he mumbles, "I didn't mean to fall asleep like that." I smile and lean over to kiss his ear. "I liked it," I whisper, putting an arm around his neck and pulling him close to me, "you were comfortable enough to fall asleep like that." He kisses the side of my head. "What do you guys do at night? He asks. I shrug. "Pretty much what we do in the daytime," I reply, "other than our diet we try to live as normally as humans do." He nods at this. "Do I need to carry you?" I whisper. "I can if you want." "Oh no," Patrick says, standing up. Emmett roars with laughter. I take his hand. "Then I'll stay with you until you fall asleep," I say simply. He smiles at this. Everyone bids him goodnight and he throws them a wave as we walk up the stairs.

Patrick throws me for a loop as he starts undressing right in front of me. "What?" he asks, "it's not like you've never seen me with my shirt off." "Yeah…but," I stammer ask I look away quickly. He smiles, dropping to his boxers before picking up a pair of gym shorts. "Full disclosure," he reminds me, "remember?" I swallow. "Just don't show me _everything_ yet," I say, "I doubt you're ready for that." He laughs at me saying 'you're not ready'. "Correction," I amend, "_we're_ not ready for that." "Fair enough," he says, getting into bed, "are you going to go change?" I'm in my room, changed into sweats and a t-shirt, and back in his room in less than a minute. "Better?" I ask. He nods. "Much," he says with a grin.

He moves to me as soon as I lie down beside him. Following the rules, he pulls me beside him, our kiss slow and deep to start. I'm the one that throws my leg over him this time. He does rest his hand on my hip but makes no overt move to pick up the tempo. I can feel it in his body…desire but contentment. When he does finally move his hand, it caress up my back in long, slow arcs that leaves a trail of tingling everywhere it passes. I moan gently into his mouth, and I can feel the corners of his mouth tug up in a smile. The biggest 'risk' I take tonight is to put my hand on his chest next to his heart. He smiles again at that, I can feel it.

I finally release him after I've tortured myself enough. "Are you afraid to go to sleep?" I ask. He shakes his head. "I was having too much fun," he replies with a smirk. "Not afraid I'm going to kill you in your sleep?" I ask. Again he shakes his head. "I'm suppose to be cautious," he replies, "not afraid…we can't do this if I'm afraid." "Besides," he continues, letting his hand run a lap from my back down my butt to my leg and back up, "if you did…it would be peacefully in my sleep. I'd never know what happened." I bite my bottom lip at this. "Relax," he whispers, giving me a gentle peck on the lips, "I trust you. The risk is when I'm awake and tempting you."

He's right. I nod and give him a soft smile. "Then go to sleep," I order. He smiles and rolls over onto his back. I rest my head on his chest as soon as he gets comfortable, turning so I can see his face. "Hunt tonight?" he asks. "No," I reply, "I'm ok." He looks me over carefully. "Yeah," he replies, "eyes still pretty yellow." Good…he's listening to me. "Sleep," I whisper. He nods again and closes his eyes. "Love you Alice," he murmurs. "I love you Patrick," I whisper back. He falls into an easy slumber.


	18. Chapter 17

**More annoyed with the fact I have to keep putting this disclaimer up than the fact I still don't own Twilight.**

CHAPTER 17-ALICE'S P.O.V.

Patrick and I stay in bed the entire morning. Nothing more intimate than an occasional short kiss, but our bodies only break contact when he first gets up to go to the bathroom. Lunch is a sandwich for him. Afterwards we sat in the living room with my family and watched more movies. Patrick didn't talk much, still obviously deep in thought about something.

I see Edward tossing an occasional glance in Patrick's direction, but I don't respond to it. Once Patrick even glared back, remembering what Edward could do. They didn't speak and I think Patrick just wants to keep his thoughts his own. I can't blame him…it was hard for me too when Jasper and I first found the Cullen's.

He's had a lot to take in this weekend, so I don't push him…though from the way Edward's looking at him it has to be bugging Patrick. No matter, we'll face it together. We keep to the living room until mid afternoon, alternating between movies and idle chatter, Patrick with his arm around me and my head rested against his chest. I remember what I thought that gave me the resolve _I don't deserve him…but I want to._ That thought steels me as my throat burns through the afternoon.

"We need to get Patrick home," Carlisle says finally, "it would look off if we took him home after dark…when the roads start getting icy." I nod dejectedly. Edward gives Pat another hard look, a reaction to what going through Patrick's mind. Patrick gives a slow nod and mechanically moves up the stairs to get his things.

"What is he thinking Edward?" Bella ask as soon as Patrick makes it to the top. Obviously she saw the same thing I did. "He's thinking the same things about Alice that you use to think about me when you were human," Edward says softly. Bella frowns at this. "Someone want to catch us up?" Emmett asks. "Bella use to doubt herself," Edward replies, "she thought that there was no logical reason why I would want to be with her." "A pitiful human," Bella says stoically, remembering what Edward was talking about. "That he isn't good enough…that he doesn't deserve you," Edward adds.

"Why?" Esme ask sadly. "We are immortal," Edward says sadly, "with abilities that make us unstoppable to humans. We have money…powers…beauty that rivals anything his kind could imagine...and to top it all off, we have the ability to live forever without illness or injury. To him, we have it all…and he has nothing to give you in return Alice." I want to cry all over again. Edward's eyes lock with mine. "I know it's not true Alice…and you know it's not true. Convincing him however will be difficult."

Patrick comes down the stairs, his bag in hand. "Thank y'all again for taking care of me," he says in a soft, polite voice. "This isn't goodbye Patrick," Esme says, coming over to give him a gentle hug, "we all hope to see you more of you." "That would be nice," he says, sadness now seeping through his words. Edward is literally chewing on his tongue not to answer the words in Patrick's head. "Edward," Carlisle ask, "would you come with Alice and I to take Patrick home…just in case we need your gift to pick up and to thwart any suspicion?" Edward nods at Carlisle. "I'll pull the car around," Carlisle says, taking Patrick's bag.

Bella moves in to hug Patrick. "You are a part of us now Pat," she whispers, "if you want to be." "We WANT you to be…all of us…but it is your decision." She pulls back and smiles at him. "I'm so glad to have you and Alice together." Patrick smiles weakly at this. "Thank you," he whispers. Emmett pats him gently on the back. "You're an ok human," he says with a chuckle, "not as entertaining as Bella was…but you'll do." Bella and I roll our eyes simultaneously. "Thanks man," Patrick says, giving Emmett a weak smile. I take his hand. "We'll talk in the car," I say softly. He nods.

"Oh and Patrick," Bella says with a knowing look, "you're going to wake up tomorrow and think this was all a dream…though that's what you'll think, I assure you it's real." She winks at him. "Trust me," she replies. He smiles weakly and winks back. Oh…I WANT that. I want him to wink at me.

Carlisle and Edward, just like Thursday, get into the front seat and Patrick and I get into the back. I'm not so cautious this time. I immediately snuggle against him in the car. "If it's ok," I whisper, "I'll come later tonight after Tori goes to bed." He nods. "Is there any point in whispering?" he ask. "No," I admit out loud as Edward and Carlisle do their best to fight back smirks. "He ok with that?" Patrick asks in a lower voice, jerking his head towards Carlisle. "I'm a grown woman Pat," I say, more seductively than I intend, "I'm free to do what I want." "But to answer your question…" I raise my head up. "Of course Alice is free to visit you," Carlisle answers from the front seat, "though I hope she doesn't keep you up too late…you do need you rest." I giggle. Even Carlisle's got jokes it seems.

"Just act natural," Edward says, turning around to Patrick, "we've been doing this a long time…and we're good at covering ourselves." Answering his thought I'm sure. Patrick gives him a nod and turns back to me as Edward turns back to face the front. Patrick puts his hand on my thigh again. Same place as last time…midway, on the inside. I love it; it's innocent enough to show affection, but intimate enough to show me he finds me desirable without pushing my thirst. I lean my head back on his shoulder. This simple gesture is becoming addictive.

"Oh guys," Patrick says hesitantly, "y'all don't take anything my grandpa says to heart. He's in the twilight years as a human and he thinks that gives him the right to say what's on his mind." I give him a puzzled look. "Don't fret Pat," Carlisle soothes, "your grandfather IS quite a character…but know he means no harm." "It'll be ok Alice," Edward says with a grin, "trust me."

We pull up in front of Patrick's house and Patrick turns to me and asks, "Do I leave the front door unlocked for you?" I shake my head. "I'll get in…trust me," I say with a wink. He grins at that, then gets a thoughtful look. He shakes it off quickly though and exit's the vehicle.

His grandfather meets us on the porch. "Boy give you any trouble?" the old man asks. "Of course not," Carlisle replies, "he was a pleasure to have at our house." The elder Williamson beams with pride. "Good," he says, "glad to see I'm raising him right." "What's the verdict with his head?" "He should be just fine," Carlisle replies, going into doctor mode, "he slept just fine at home…ate well…and like I said earlier, his manners were brag-worthy."

The old man smiles again. "Alice," he says, turning towards me, "I noticed you two were sitting mighty close…" Patrick rolls his eyes at that comment. "What can I say," I reply quickly, "he's my hero." Gods, Patrick blushed at that. Grandpa's grin only got wider. "Good," he snaps, "that boy needs a woman worse than I do…sand off some of those rough edges." "Ok old man," Patrick jumps in, "I think she gets the picture."

"We going to be seeing you more often?" Mr. Williamson asks, ignoring Pat. "I hope so," I say, looking at Pat when I reply. The old man chuckles at that. "Good," he replies, "pretty thing like you…you just brighten a room when you walk into it." Wow…I see where Patrick gets his charm. "Well, it's getting late," Carlisle says, "we will leave you to your family now Pat." Carlisle pulls a piece of paper out of his shirt pocket. "Doctor's excuse for missing school," he explains. Patrick nods and takes it from him.

"Stay for dinner?" Mr. Williamson asks. "Mom was cooking when we left," Edward lies smoothly, "but thank you." Mr. Williamson nods. "Be careful going home then," he replies as Patrick mouths 'nine o'clock' behind his granddad's back. I smile back at him as we get into the car and both men stand on the porch waving as we drive off.

Edward starts laughing as soon as we're out of sight. "Alice, I'm glad you don't have my gift," he says, between chuckles. "Grandpa likes Alice huh?" Carlisle asks. "If I was his age," Edward quotes, doing a good impression of the elder Williamson, "turn me loose…and that little girl couldn't run fast enough!" I can't help but laugh. "He likes you Alice," Edward says, "though the thought 'I hope she can cook' did pop into his head." I frown. "It's not hard Alice," Edward says, turning to face me, "I can teach you if you want." "No," I reply, "it's not that." "I'm more worried about will we make it that long." I don't add to that thought…I think everyone can follow what I mean. Will Patrick end up a vampire? I've seen it…but my visions aren't concrete. We all know this.

"Don't worry about that now," Carlisle says soothingly as he drives back to the house, "just work on your relationship now. Let the future take care of itself." "Edward nods in agreement." "However," Edward does add, "you might want to find out what his wishes are in case of an emergency." I give him a nod, but that thought fills me with dread.

Edward wants to know if Patrick's life was in danger, would he want us to let him pass or change him. "I'll discuss it…later," I reply, "when he's had time to process everything he's learned so far." Edward nods. "Mr. Williamson isn't suspicious?" Carlisle asks. Edward shakes his head. "He's too smitten with Alice to worry about too much," Edward replies. Carlisle chuckles at this.

Despite what I told Patrick I did go hunting when we got home. It just seemed like the prudent thing to do. Emmett went with me. "I still don't understand what's so interesting about watching someone sleep," he grumbles as we head towards Montana. "It's almost like I'm sleeping," I reply, "I'm lulled into this peaceful, tranquil haze and my brain seems to shut off for a little while. I can lay my head on his chest, stare at his face, listen to his heartbeat, and I'm just…at peace." Emmett shrugs at this.

"You know," he said absently after we'd covered another ten miles, "putting it that way…I can see why you do it. Edward never really did explain what it was about Bella." Now I'm the one that shrugs. "She talked in her sleep more," I reply, "it was the only time he could hear an unedited version of what she was thinking." "Patrick talk?" Emmett asks. "A little," I admit, "not all that much though. I honestly think he's so tired at the end of the day, he sleeps so deeply that he doesn't consciously register his dreams."

Emmett gets his grizzly, playing with it for a while before finally killing and drinking it. He _still_ hasn't gotten over the one that got him as a human. I settle for a couple of mule deer. We hurry back and I run through the shower to wash the grim off. I slip on a pair of jeans and a black hoodie, remembering the proper undergarments this time. No Bad Alice tonight. I don't leave my house till nine, wanting Tori to be in bed before I sneak in. Patrick's light is the only one on when I arrive. Just like I did that first week, I pop the screen and slip in through the window.

"I knew it," he whispers as soon as I close the window, "you've been here." I let my head drop and whisper, "Yes." He chuckles. "Pops thought I was sneaking out," he says, still laughing, "even though I don't _have_ to sneak out." I look up at him carefully. "I meant no harm Patrick," I whisper carefully, "I was just…curious about you." He shrugs. "No blood no foul," he replies, "have a seat."

I glide to the bed and sit down. "You and your super sensitive hearing are on Tori lookout," he says, still grinning. "No problem," I reply, "I can tell you when she's having a nightmare before she even wakes up." "How?" Patrick asks. I shrug. "Usually someone's heart rate increases when they're having a nightmare," I explain. He nods. "Makes sense," he replies. "What does your granddad do?" I ask. "Night shift security guard at the stockyard," he replies. I nod. "Why were you on the Victoria Secret's website yesterday?" he asks. I gawk. "You noticed?" I ask. "You didn't exactly keep it hidden," he replies. Once again, if I could blush… "I need new underwear," I reply.

"Then why were you having visions while you were doing it?" he asks. Damn…he IS perceptive. "I wanted to see what you would like," I reply. He grins at that. "I thought that was a long time coming," he says absently. "It is," I reply, "you wouldn't understand…it's a girl thing." "Try me," he challenges. I don't respond. "Complete disclosure Alice," he prods, "you promised…remember?" Backed into a corner again.

"I like to feel pretty," I admit. "See," he replies, "that's not so hard to understand." I smile at him. "Although," he goes on, "that doesn't explain what my opinion on the matter has to do with it." "Pat," I confess softly, "knowing you would like it on me makes me feel even prettier." His smile widens at that.

"Did you buy pajamas?" he asks. I shake my head. "No lingerie either," I say teasingly. "Um," he says, "then we're going to have to work something out." "Ok," I say cautiously. "If you're going to stay here…" he lets it drop. He wants me to stay, but he's trying not to pressure me. "Of course," I say with a smile. "Then you're going to have to wear something…softer." I don't get it and I'm sure my face shows it. "Alice," he explains, "the wire in your bra is…kinda uncomfortable," he explains, "so is the buttons and zippers on jeans. Now I would _love_ you in just panties and a t-shirt…or nothing at all…but for the sake of your thirst and my life…" he lets it drop. I nod. I get it. "I can do comfortable," I reply. His smile widens. "Great!" he exclaims. "Can I borrow something tonight?" I ask. He nods. "I left you a pair of sweats and a t-shirt in the bathroom," he replies, "just so you wouldn't think I was trying to talk you out of your clothes."

I hurry to the bathroom to change while he goes to check on Tori. I can hear her breathing evenly, but Patrick insists. "Habit," he explains. Wearing his clothes makes his scent even stronger, though not overpowering. I stretch out across the bed and am waiting on him when he returns.

"Can I ask you something?" he asks as he stretches out next to me. "Sure," I ask. He hesitates. "Are you and Amber going to be friends?" he ask. "I don't know," I reply quickly, "I mean…I like Amber…and she did say help me catch your eye. She just thinks so badly of me now…for good reason." "I'm not telling you what to do," he says quickly, "but it would really make things easier if you two worked out your differences." I look him over carefully. "I've made my choice," he adds, "and I've chosen you. It would just make things smoother if there was peace between both our families. And if Amber is against this…" "Her mom would be and that could influence your mom," I answer for him. He nods.

"Remember when we were talking in the Jeep?" I ask. He nods. "Remember me saying all the 'normal' stuff I wanted to do?" Again he nods. "I need some girlfriends," I say, "and Amber would be a good choice." "Besides," I say with a grin, "Emmett could use a date." Patrick gives me a hard look. "Is she going to be let in?" he asks. I shrug. "That will depend on what Emmett feels," I reply. "Any clue?" Patrick asks. I shake my head. "I avoid discussing my love life with him," I reply flatly. Patrick nods.

"What are we going to do about tomorrow?" Patrick asks. I shrug. "Do we need to do anything?" I ask. "Well," he replies thoughtfully, "two people that never date are going to appear to be dating tomorrow." He has a point. "Is that what we're doing?" I ask teasingly. "It's not the perfect description," he replies, "and to be honest…I don't know a word to describe it. But 'date' will do." I smile. "We'll tell everyone I thought you were too self-centered," I say with a shrug, "and you doing something so selfless showed me you there was more to you than I thought." "And me?" he ask. I ponder. "I proved there was more to me than the 'spoiled little rich girl' you thought I was," I reply.

He shrugs. "It's as good a cover as any," he replies. "Think everyone will buy it?" I ask. "They should," he replies, "though there will be some talk." "Talk I can deal with," I say, leaning my head on him, "my family usually draws attention anyway." "As long as it doesn't draw attention to what we are…we should be ok." "So we're in agreement," he says finally, "we're dating." "Yes," I say happily, "we're dating."

That decided I put him to bed, snuggling against him. I stayed till I heard his granddad's pick-up truck coming up the road, then gathered up my clothes and slipped out the window, making sure to put the screen back. No one said anything as I came in wearing Pat's clothes and carrying my own once I got home. I went back to first week Alice, wearing khaki pants and a green blouse adding a gray wool coat and scarf. I even added a little smoky eye shadow and clear lip-gloss. Bella and Esme were all smiles when I came down. "Very nice Alice," Esme says, hugging me. "Nervous?" Bella ask. I nod. "We've got you back little sis," Emmett says, coming in to hug me also. I check my vision. "Everything looks good," I tell my family, "lets go."


	19. Chapter 18

(A/N Not my best chapter here, but I needed some time to pass in their relationship and I didn't want to overload y'all with fluff. It'll pick up, I promise. Thanks to all that have reviewed and please keep it up! Also, I went to school with a guy named William Williamson. The reason I'm telling this is b/c I didn't want y'all to think I was just too lazy to come up with a name for Pat's friend.)

**In case you haven't guessed...I don't own Twilight.**

CHAPTER 18-ALICE'S P.O.V.

There was no middle ground at school. The rumors started flying the moment Patrick and I kissed before separating for our first class and by lunch we were the talk of the school. The majority of students seemed to approve; Patrick, though quiet and not outgoing, wasn't the type to start trouble or pick on other students. Therefore, he was at least respected if not liked. Hence people made it a point to talk to me. Though curious, they were polite and friendly. I told them the truth when asked about why I had been so withdrawn: I was going through some personal issues. Seeing I wasn't a "spoiled little rich girl", I was accepted without issue by most.

There were exceptions. "Slumming baby?" Shawn asks as soon as I got into fourth period. "I'm not dating YOU," I reply. He snorts at this. "You break your streak of not dating by dating _Williamson_?" he sneers. "What's a matter, you like them a little trashy?" I growl low under my breath. "Seriously," he continues to spew, "what's Pat got I don't?" I turn to face him. "I date men…not boys," I say sternly, accenting this with a glare. His smirk gets even wider. "I get it," he sneers, "one of those rich girls that likes it dirty." He rolls his eyes. "He's gonna taint you baby," he adds, "better get your shots." It was all I could do not to attack him right there.

"There a problem _Shawn_?" comes a booming voice behind me. I turn to see the larger Williamson glaring at the quarterback. "Just setting the bitch straight," Shawn says with a shrug, "You know how it is." "No," Will spit, moving to stand in front of me, "I _don't_. Why don't you go sit down before I break you in half?" Shawn smirks again. I guess he thought Will was kidding. Will took a step forward, put his hand on Shawn's chest, and put him onto his ass with a hard shove. "No line to protect you pretty boy," Will snarls, "I suggest you back up." Shawn scrambled to his feet. He snorts trying to not appear intimidated and goes to sit down. "You ok?" he ask, his voice softening. I nod.

We sit down, him behind me. "I'm Alice," I whisper, "though I'm sure you knew that." He smiles, his teeth appearing to shine against his dark skin. "William," he says offering me his hand. I take it and shake. His hand is the size of Emmett's. "Your name is William Williamson?" I ask. He nods. "That a problem?" he asks, though he doesn't appear insulted. "No," I say quickly, "just clarifying." His smile widens at this.

"You're Pat's new girlfriend?" he asks. I bite my bottom lip and nod. He gives me a quick once over. "Boy's got good taste," he says throwing me a wink. I smile back. He reminds me of Emmett: good-natured personality crammed into an intimidating presence. He looks around quickly, then motions me closer as if to tell me a secret.

"If ANYONE messes with you," he whispers, "and Pat ain't around…you tell ME." I nod. "Pat's a straight shooter," he continues, "he don't mess with nobody…nobody messes with him. Somebody does, they mess with 'The Regulators'." "Pat's in a gang?" I whisper back. Will chuckles. "That's what we call the defense," he explains, "Hitman' ain't the only one with a nickname." I smile at this. "Where'd that come from?" I ask. "Some old cowboy movie," he replies absently, "something to do with Billy the Kid." I nod at this. "There's an old rap song too," he says just as absently, "but the seniors had named us when we were sophomores…we just kept the name...and they said it come from the movie" I nod. "Seriously," he whispers, "you don't take shit like that from people like Shawn." I nod. "Thank you Will," I say, turning on the charm. The smile he gives me in return is a reward itself.

Patrick meets me in front of the lunchroom. "Follow me," he whisper as he got in line to get his tray. I do, curious to what he's planning. He gets his food, maybe a little more than usual, and leads me by the hand to pay. "What are you doing?" I whisper. "Making it look like this is for both of us," he whispers back. I nod. He pays for his food and turns to me. "Sit with your family?" he asks. I smile and nod. I was prepared to sit with his group, but him wanting to sit with my siblings makes me feel better. Edward must have read it in Pat's mind, because he has us both a seat saved. Not that anyone would dare sit with us…but Edward made sure that seats across from each other were clear. "Pick at whatever," Patrick offers as he begins eating.

"Shawn is going to get himself hurt," Edward comments. Pat immediately stiffens. "What did her do?" Pat asks. I fill him on last period. "I'll kill him," Pat snarls. "No," I whisper, "don't get in trouble…I can take care of myself." "It's what he does," Pat says, obviously angry, "he can't have you, so he trashes you…ruins you rep." I shrug. Pat gives me a hard look. "He did it to Amber," he says evenly. "That why you two fought as freshmen?" Edward asks. Pat nods. "Not much of a fight," he comments, "I hit him…he hit the ground…I jumped on him and hit him until they finally pulled me off." He shrugs.

"That's why Amber warned me my first day," I say aloud. Again Pat nods. "She heard Shawn was interested in one of the new girls," he says, fuming. "She warned me too," Bella says from her seat, "fourth period my first day." "Ignore him," Edward says, "he's no threat to us or Alice." Patrick doesn't look convinced. "There's nothing wrong with you Pat," Edward says, obviously in his mind, "other than someone is jealous of what you have."

Patrick doesn't say anything else during lunch, clearly pissed. "Will won't let anything happen to me in fourth period," I promise. That did get a smile from him. "Will's a good fellow," he replies absently, "our defense sticks together." I smile at that. Not that I need protection…that Pat does have friends. I make it a point to give him a passionate kiss at the end of lunch…screw the rules on PDA. I wanted everyone to know that was MY man. I'm sure I got a few glares from other girls, but for Pat…I could ignore the jealous females.

My last test came in Health with Amber. I gave her a cautious smile when I sat down, receiving the same hostile glance I usually get. "Don't Amber," I say quickly, "you were right and I was wrong." She didn't answer. "I'm sorry for how I acted…I've had some…personal issues." Still no answer. "Patrick's a wonderful guy and I was a fool not to see that," I quickly add, "and I plan on remedying that now." Wow, I didn't plan on baring my soul quite that much. "No games?" she finally asks. I shake my head. "No games," I promise. She gives me a cautious smile. "I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt," she says finally, "but if you hurt him, I will claw you eyes out." My jaw drops. Not that she could actually hurt me, but the fact she's willing to do that for Pat tells me how deep her feelings go for the boy. "Is he ok?" she asks. "He says he is…but I want to KNOW." I nod. "He is," I reply, "that's why my dad wanted him to stay with us." She nods at this. "My family…and I…are very grateful." "I would hope so," she snorts, "he DID save your life." I don't respond. He's done so much more than that.

We get another worksheet and Amber and I pair up to work on it. "So you're dating him because he saved your life?" she asks. I ponder for a minute. I know my answer, but I don't want to give anything away. "I've always liked him," I admit, "you know that. Him doing what he did showed me that I was a fool for not acting on it." "He was wonderful _before_ he saved me…I just needed that pointed out to me." This answer satisfies her. "Pops likes you," she comments, "Tori does too." I smile at this. I knew Pat's granddad was a fan, but not Tori.

"Why does Tori live with them?" I ask. "Pat told me why he does." She ponders for a minute. "Pops doesn't approve of his…or my…mom's lives," she replies, "and since she voluntarily let Pat live with him…" she lets it drop. "She's afraid he could make it hard on her?" I ask. Amber nods. "Tori sees her mom a lot," she comments, "so it's not like Tori doesn't know her." I bite my bottom lip. "It's not right though," I say. She shrugs. "I'm not disagreeing," Amber replies, "it's just how it is."

"I saw Pat last period," Amber says changing the subject, "and he's got a baseball clinic this weekend. Want to go shopping Saturday?" I squeal in response. "That sounds great!" I exclaim. "Where?" she ask. "Spokane?" I ask. She smiles. "I haven't been there in a while," she agrees, "that sounds like fun." "I'll borrow my brother's car," I offer, "we'll make a day of it!" "Great," she agrees again. We answer a few questions on the worksheet. "Alice," Amber says softly, "I don't know if I like you or not…but Pat does, so I'm going to give you a chance." I give her a warm smile. For Pat, I'll take whatever I can get.

Pat's waiting for me after last period. No baseball practice or game today. He seems happy about that. "I liked baseball better when I didn't _have_ to play it," he explains. I can understand that. "I see you tonight?" he whispers in my ear. I giggle and nod. "Usual time," I murmur in response.

The rest of the week goes by without incident. Sure there were looks and whispering but that was to be expected. When Patrick had baseball practice Tuesday, I cleaned out my closets and drawers. I wasn't ready to go back to the shopaholic I once was. It's like the underwear…I want to _feel_ pretty. I spent every night at his house, though not much physical was happening. This was at my insistence; Pat was failing three classes and I wanted to remedy that. My plan was simple: I breezed him through the homework assigned for the night and spent the rest of the time at the beginning to re-teach what had already been covered. Patrick wasn't the typical 'dumb jock' type…far from it. His grades in his other classes, especially English and American History, were in the high B/low A range. He just "wasn't a math person" as he put it.

Nighttime was the worst. Don't get me wrong, I love being close to Patrick. My thirst was also getting better inch by painful inch. The problem was me. The attraction was there…I wanted him BAD…but after having time to think about the last time we'd pushed the boundaries of our relationship, I was definitely afraid. Patrick didn't shy away from me at all, he just didn't push either. I was beginning to fear we were going to be basically friends. Not that I didn't want Patrick as my friend…but I wanted all of him. Friend, confidant, lover…everything.

Spokane was fun Saturday. Amber and I hit the mall like I use to. It was tame by my standards, but Amber raised her eyebrow at the sixth pair of shoes I bought. She seemed to want to talk and I let her. Turns out Patrick wasn't lying…she had heard "Alice, Alice, Alice" till she was sick of it. I found out Pat was going to be eighteen in October, had colleges as far away as Alabama, Florida, and Notre Dame expressing interest, was actually a 'third' (Patrick Robert Williamson III…which was why he wore number three), and wanted to play wide receiver also but wouldn't try because of Shawn. Amber did ask about my family and me and I gave her our usual cover story…being adopted. She asked prompting questions without seeming to pry too much. She did comment on my driving, though speed didn't seem to scare her too much. "Volvo does make the safest care on the road," she commented.

I got to hang out at Patrick's house for Spring Break. That boy was _busy_. He was up by eight every morning to have Tori breakfast. 'Pops', as I was told to call Mr. Williamson, always had a load of chores to be done. Patrick did whatever was asked without comment. "It wouldn't do any good to argue," he told me with a shrug. During our week off from school Patrick split a mountain of firewood, changed the oil in both his and Pop's truck along with the tractor, clean and oiled every firearm in the house, repaired part of a fence, and found where one of the cows had her calf and brought them both back so they could be penned so the calf was safe from predators. He did this along with the usual household chores. I tagged along with him, just happy to be close. I babysat Tori when he went for the calf though...avoiding blood around Pat is just safer. It was fun! We fixed each other's hair and I did her nails for her and played dolls. She was so happy Patrick had a girlfriend. I was nervous…I was afraid she would be jealous but it just wasn't her personality.

The next two months seemed to fly by. Patrick and I continued to remain strong, but not very physical. The baseball team finished their season and Patrick threw himself into passing Geometry, Chemistry, and Spanish. He even came over to my house several weekends so Edward could tutor him. Patrick was…intense. "He knows this isn't just three classes," Edward explains to me, "this is his _life._" "He's doesn't want this to hurt his eligibility."

Esme and Bella got into the act, playing with Tori while Edward and I drilled Pat on what he needed help with. Evenings Carlisle would even get into the act, which really helped with Chemistry. Esme feed the two humans, pleased Tori was as happy with her cooking as Patrick. I bought the Prom tickets and Pat and I danced till the party ended. We weren't secure enough yet to sleep together…which is what I _wanted_…so we went back to his house and kissed like we've been doing.

I went hunting the Sunday before the week of exams alone. I needed time to think. My thirst felt under control, but the thought of pushing our relationship truly frightened me. On one hand, I want him. I mean I REALLY want him. On the other hand, I REALLY want him alive. Edward had never had this problem. Bella was his first…he didn't know what he was missing. I did. What surprised me was not only did I know it, I _missed _it. I wanted to talk to someone.

But who? Edward has the most experience dealing with having a relationship with a human but he was a guy. A guy with some really tough personal standards. Bella would understand Pat's point of view…but probably not mine. Carlisle and Esme…well, it would be too much like asking your parent's about sex and I didn't want to go that route. Emmett would simply tell me to go full speed ahead and damn the consequences. I get my elk and sit lean against a tree to think. My choices are limited…but I think I'm going to go with Bella on this one.

She's not surprised when I ask to talk to her in private. "I wondered when you would," she says with a wink. "You know what I'm going to ask?" I ask. "You're afraid to take the next step with Pat," she says simply. I take a deep breath and tell her about the last time we really pushed things. Bella listens without comment. "You're forgetting something," she replies when I'm finished, "you DIDN'T kill him." "But I wanted to," I groan, "REALLY bad." She shakes her head. "Edward was the same way," she replies, crossing her arms across her chest. "I see why," I say absently. Bella shakes her head. "Patrick is a big boy," she says firmly, "immortal being sometimes forget humans _can_ think for themselves."

"He's not pushing though," I grumble. Bella rolls her eyes at this. "He's not pushing because you don't want him to push," she explains, "and he's afraid of hurting you. I don't think he's afraid _of_ you…only of hurting you. He understands the risk…THAT I'm sure of. He _has_ seen you hunt." Bella ponders for a moment. "I bet he's as anxious as you are," she comments. We sit quietly for a moment. "Baby steps Alice," Bella suggest, "turn it up just a little bit." I nod. It makes sense.

Patrick is studying in his bedroom when I sneak in. "I want to talk to you," I say before I lose my nerve. "Ok," he replies, putting his Spanish textbook away. "How do you feel about us pushing my control a little?" I ask. He grins. "All for it," he replies quickly, "now?" I shake my head. "I'll make you a deal," I say, "let's get you through exams first and if you pass I'll see what we can do." "Call it a reward."

He grins. "Why don't you just see if I'm going to pass," he says with a knowing grin. I grin back. "Who says I haven't?" I ask coyly. His grin widens. "It won't be a big step," I say quickly, "but my control's been good lately and really…I'm more antsy that you are." "I doubt that," he mumbles. "That's why I'm ready to push," I comment, "we're both ready." He nods. "Are you _sure_ you're ready?" he ask. I shrug. "Pretty sure," I reply, "my visions say I am." "We just have to be careful." He grins at that. "What do you have in mind exactly?" he ask. I grin evilly. "That will have to be a surprise," I reply.

He gets settled into bed as I go to the bathroom and change. "You nervous yet?" I ask, snuggling against him. He shakes his head quickly. "You?" he asks. "Yeah," I admit, "for a couple reasons." He stokes my hair gently. "I'm listening," he prompts. "Well, there's the whole bloodlust thing," I say carefully, "that's the biggest obviously." "Yeah," he replies, "but what else?" I take a deep breath. "I'm afraid you'll be disappointed," I say quickly, "because it's not going to be that big a step." He chuckles and I turn to look up at him, putting my opposite cheek on his chest. "Any progress is good with me," he says thoughtfully, "as long as it's progress." I smile at that.

"You ready for that Spanish test?" I ask. "Si," he replies, throwing me a wink. I smile and place a gentle kiss on his chest. I stay in that exact same position the entire night.


	20. Chapter 19

(A/N Another warning this story has an M rating.)

**Still don't own Twilight.**

CHAPTER 19-ALICE'S P.O.V.

There was a crowd gathered in the parking lot of the high school when we pulled up Monday morning. We tend to ignore things like that as a rule. It wouldn't help us keep a low profile if we involved ourselves in a schoolyard fight. Edward scans the minds of everyone around and swore silently. "Patrick's involved," he grumbles. That's all me and the rest of our family need to make our way to the crowd.

We push our way to the front, thanks to Emmett, and find Patrick standing between two boys and a third on the ground. My entire family stops breathing when we see a thin trickle of blood coming from the down boy's nose. "It was fair two on one with him," Patrick snarls at the two boys, "what's not fair about two on one with _me_?" He's pissed…his accent is more pronounced. The other two look nervous. I recognize the boy on the ground. He's a freshman, but I don't know his name.

I see the other two boys split apart, trying to get an angle on Pat. "They're going to try it," Edward grumbles. Emmett steps up beside Pat. "Problem Hitman?" Emmett says casually. "Pussies don't like it when they're punching bag hits back," Patrick says idly, taunting the other two.

Silence for a moment. "You can take him," comes a voice from behind the other two. Shawn. "Cullen ain't gonna get involved," he sneers, "and you two can take Pat." Pat's eyes narrow. "Come up front," Pat says evenly, "and I'll show you who can take who." No surprise Shawn doesn't take him up on his offer.

The one on the left reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a folding knife. "Whatcha think about that Patty?" he sneers, letting the light gleam off the blade next to his thigh. "I think," Patrick says through clenched teeth, "if you come at me with that blade, I'm gonna take it from you and _fuck_ you with it!"

Edward grabs my wrist and Bella moves to put an arm around me. They're afraid if that boy comes at Pat I'm going to stop them…which would expose us. They're also afraid if he cuts Pat I won't be able to control my thirst. They're right on both counts.

Will comes pushing through the crowd along with the other three on the defensive line. The smallest one is thirty pounds heavier than Pat. "I warned you Shawn," Will snarls, "you gonna make me prove it?" The defensive line moves in beside Pat and Emmett. Now the teacher's, principal, and coaches come pushing through the crowd. Bella releases me momentarily and reaches behind Pat. Quicker than anyone can blink she takes Pat's knife from his back pocket without him even knowing. She palms it to me. I nod.

Most boys have pocketknives. This IS rural Idaho and farm boys need cutting tools. It's a fact of life…they don't use them as weapons. It's one of those unspoken rules: no one says anything about them unless someone makes it an issue. Bella guessed…correctly…Pat was headed to the office and if he were searched he would be in trouble. Now the teacher's are questioning students. Pat turns and looks at me. I give him a weak smile. He winks back, telling me everything is ok. "Everyone get to class!" Coach Brooks barks. "I love you," I mouth to Pat. He gives me a nod in return.

I breeze through my English exam and fidget in my seat the rest of the time. I have no idea what caused the problem outside. I touch the pocketknife in my pocket now, thinking about it being next to Pat's cute little…BAD ALICE! I see a couple people turn their test in, so I get up and do the same.

Chatter starts up as more people finish the test, all of it about the fight. Huh. Seems the two standing up had been taunting the one on the ground and the one with the knife had punched him. They were kicking the poor kid when Pat stepped in. That sounds like my Pat. "He don't mess with nobody…nobody messes with him," as Will put it.

The bell rings and I hurry to Spanish. Patrick is already there and looks REALLY nervous. "You in trouble?" I whisper. He shakes his head. "I never threw a punch," he explains, "good thing I forgot my knife this morning." I grin and palm it to him. "How?" he ask. "You didn't forget," I explain, "Bella grabbed it before the principal got there. He nods. "You look nervous," I comment. He exhales harshly and nods again. "I thought you weren't in trouble," I prompt. "I'm not," he admits, "it's this test." Ah!

I think for a minute. I need to distract him. I can think of several ways to distract him, but he doesn't need another trip to the principal's office. BAD ALICE! Instead, I keep him talking. "What started it?" I ask. He chuckles dryly. "Nick…the kid on the ground…was seen at a funeral by those other two." "He played the bagpipes and they were busting his chops about it." He shrugs. "Everybody's a critic I guess." I give him a warm smile. He's nervous, but still got jokes. That tells me he'll be ok.

The teacher passes out the test and Pat bends over his desk to work. I check my vision before he starts. Yep, he's going to do fine. Once again, I breeze through mine and sit back to wait. Pat finishes his and I let him turn his in first, in no hurry. I gasp as a vision overtakes me.

_It's a locker room. There's a boy and a girl there. The girl doesn't look familiar, but the boy is Shawn. He's got her pinned to a bench in front of a row of lockers, her dressed pulled up, her underwear torn and gathered around her right ankle. She's crying and pleading as he forces himself on her right there._

I shake my head quickly. "Pat," I whisper, "I've got to get out of here." "What's wrong?" he whispers quickly. "A girl is being attacked in a locker room," I whisper fiercely. "Girls?" he asks. I shake my head. "Doesn't look like the girls one." Pat ponders. "Take this," he says, handing me his Spanish book, then going to the teacher's desk before I can protest. "Senora," he whispers quietly, though I can hear him easily, "I forgot my book in my gym locker…I need a pass to go get it." She nods and Pat's gone. Shit.

_Edward, _I think as hard as I can _boy's locker room…hurry!_ I hope he's paying attention. Sixty seconds after I think that I see two blurs pass the door. Edward and Bella. I continue to fidget in my seat. That last about a minute and my impatience gets the better of me. I go to the teacher's desk, turn in my test and ask to go to the bathroom, throwing my best winning smile. Free from the class, I sprint down the empty halls and burst into the locker room.

Patrick is huddled around the girl in my vision who's sitting on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest. Her left eye is swollen nearly completely shut and she has blood drying under her nose and the corner of her mouth. Shawn looks worse, like Pat really did a number on him and I have to hold my breath again. Bella is gone. "Getting the principal," Edward says in a low voice. I nod and move to the other side of the girl.

"Erica," Patrick says in a soft voice, "this is Alice." She nods quickly, tears streaming down her face. Patrick shushes her gently. "He won't hurt you anymore," he sooths. "You broke my nose," Shawn's muffled voice cuts through the room. "If Edward hadn't shown up," Patrick growls back, "I'd still be beating you ass. SHUT UP!" Erica flinches at Patrick's outburst and I pull her to me.

The principal comes in, takes one look, and turns to Bella. They whisper back and forth for a moment before Bella nods and leaves again. She's being sent to get a female coach. "The police are being called," the principal says evenly, fury boiling under the surface, "does she need an ambulance?" Patrick stands up and pulls the principal to the side. I hear Patrick telling the principal what he saw, avoiding using the word 'raped' where Erica can hear him. "When my sister gets back," Edward chimes in, "we will take her to the hospital…our father is working." "That ok Erica?" he asks. She nods, still crying.

"Little bitch had it coming," Shawn sneers and Edward has to grab Pat before he launches himself at Shawn again. Pat looks even angrier than he did this morning…so angry I don't think even Will could've stopped him. "You need to get to class Mr. Williamson," the principal says evenly, "and I ask you keep what you know to yourself." Pat's still struggling against Edward.

Bella returns with the female gym teacher. I don't have gym, so I don't know her name. _You and Bella got this? _I think to Edward, _I need to get Pat out of here before he kills Shawn._ Edward nods at me, still holding Patrick. "Come on Pat," I whisper taking his arm. Patrick stops struggling and I take his hand. We're to the door when Erica's weak, teary voice calls: "Thank you Pat." He turns, walks to the girl on the ground, kneels, and hugs her gently. Surprisingly, she hugs him fiercely around the neck. "You're going to be ok," Pat whispers into her hair, "listen to Dr. Cullen, ok? He's the one that took care of me." She nods. He kisses her forehead, stands, and walks back to me.

"Why did you do that?" I whisper fiercely as we hurry down the hall. "What were you going to do?" Pat whispers back, with equal ferocity, "I at least had an excuse to be in the locker room." I roll my eyes. "I would've thought of something," I hiss back. He huffs. "Too much risk," he whispers to me. I shake my head. Yeah, it would've been a risk…but no bigger than the one Pat took.

We get our things from Spanish and hurry to Geometry, without any more talk. Conversation is now about the police cars in front of the school. Several people look pointedly at Pat, wondering if he's in trouble from the fight this morning. Pat doesn't even have time to be nervous. I check my vision. He's going to get a C…but high enough to finish the class with a C average. I smile. He wants that reward.

Emmett doesn't seem surprised to see Edward and Bella missing from lunch. "I heard," is his only comment. Amber comes and sits with us and Pat fills her in on his day. He's pissed…there's no other word to describe him. He doesn't even buy lunch, just puts a pinch of tobacco in his lip as he fumes. I rest my hand on his thigh under the table, rubbing it slowly back and forth.

"You did good," I whisper. He frowns at that. "He got her," he whispers back. Emmett's jaw tightens, but Amber can't hear us. I lean my head on his shoulder. "Did you really break his nose?" I ask. He nods. "Probably his cheekbone too," he mumbles. I wince. "She was my 'Bear Girl' last year," he comments. I give him a funny look. "What's that?" I ask.

He smiles. "It's a girl's organization," he explains, "they do stuff for the players during football season. Little stuff, you know…bring us breakfast Fridays, make the banners people hang from the stands, wear jerseys with our numbers." He frowns. "Some of the girls do…'favors'…for their guy too…usually if they're already dating. Erica was my Bear Girl, but not like that…she was into it, but not _that_ into it. She tried to carry my books to class, made me a bead bracelet with our colors, little stuff like that. She's a sweet girl." I nod at that.

"How do you become a 'Bear Girl'?" I ask. "Ask Erica," he replies with a shrug, "she's in charge of it." "Can I be your 'Bear Girl'?" I ask teasingly. He grins. "Erica was mine because the rule is every player has to have one…but I turned everyone down that ask. Since she was in charge…" he lets it drop. We're quiet for a moment. "Does that mean I get any special favors?" he ask, raising an eyebrow. I giggle. "Depends on how well you play," I reply with a wink. He grins slowly and winks back.

Pat aces Chemistry and after a quick kiss I head to Health. "Pat ok?" Amber asks me as soon as I sit down. I smile and nod. "Angry about Erica," I add, "but coping." She nods. "Did Shawn…rape her?" she asks softly. I nod. She swore under her breath. "Where is she now?" Amber asks. "Bella and Edward took her to the hospital," I whisper, "my dad is taking care of her." Amber nods. "Good," she replies, "Pat likes your dad, so if Pat thinks he's a good doctor…" I smile.

"I'm surprised Pat didn't kill him," Amber adds. "It was close," I agree, "Shawn looked like ground chuck by the time I got there." "Why were you there?" she asks. Thinking quickly I reply, "Pat thought he'd left his Spanish book in his gym locker and I had it. He went to get it and when I realized I had it, I went to tell him. I didn't want him to be looking for something that wasn't lost." This seems to satisfy Amber. "I heard Coach kicked Shawn off the team," she whispers. "Good," I reply firmly. We get our test and start working.

If I slept, I could've taken this test in my sleep. Once finished, I start daydreaming. I wonder if I could be a Bear Girl. This was a chance to have a 'normal' high school existence. Cheerleading was out of the question. So was being in the band or being a majorette. I'm sure Patrick would let me be his…even without any added benefits. Yeah, I'm going to have to do that. I check my vision. Perfect. I wonder how Erica's going to be after this. I try to visualize this, but there are too many undecided decisions. About half the class has turned their test in and I take mine to the front. I wish Rosaline were here. She could help Erica. Sadness fills me as I think of my sister. Patrick was filling the void from Jasper's absence, but not Rosaline.

The bell rings and we get out of our seats. Summer vacation. I wonder how busy Pops is going to keep Pat. Pat is waiting for me. "Figured you and Emmett are going to need a ride," he comments, "want to ride with me?" I throw my arms around his neck. "Of course," I reply sweetly in his ear, "and don't forget about tonight…" His cheeks redden at that and my smile widens.

Emmett comes out and I tell him we're riding with Pat. He shrugs and helps me climb into the truck before climbing in beside me. I'm in the middle between Emmett and Pat. I take my usual position with my head leaning against Pat's arm while Emmett calls Esme and gets and update on Erica. After the vampire speed conversation he closes his phone and doesn't say anything. Patrick knows it's bad, you can see it on his face. I wrap my arms around him careful I don't bump him behind the wheel. He pats my thigh gently…his mouth set in a tight line.

After kissing Pat goodbye I immediately went to hunt. I had a plan and I needed my thirst under control. Bella and Edward are waiting when I returned. "Shawn's going down," Edward says gravely, "Erica is a brave young woman. She consented to the rape kit and it was more than conclusive." He snorts at this. "As if her face wasn't evidence enough." He continues, "They were able to get all the necessary evidence…the coach has already suspended Shawn from the team…and he's in custody tonight." "No cover-up?" Emmett asks. You hear about this all the time…incidents like this being swept under the rug.

Edward shakes his head. "Hard to deny when another player is the one that stopped the attack," he replies looking at me, "especially since we KNOW Pat wouldn't cover this up." "Go get ready," Bella tells me with a wink, "that boy was a hero twice today…he needs a little reward." Emmett chuckles and Edward raises his eyebrow, but neither says anything. I hurry to my bathroom and shower. I put on a pair of thin cotton shorts and a t-shirt. I want to feel Pat tonight. As Edward once said, "If I'm going to hell, I might as well enjoy the ride."

Pat is lying on top of the covers when I get there wearing nothing but a pair of gym shorts. His hair is still damp. He's lying flat with his arm across his eyes. I listen carefully, but I can tell he's awake. I slip through the window and crawl across the bed to straddle him. Before he can speak I lean forward and place my lips to his.

The reaction is instantaneous. He opens his mouth and wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. I moan softly and delve my hands into his hair. Our tongues battle for dominance, and mine seizes the advantage. My throat is literally _raw_ with the burn of my thirst, but I ignore it. I push my hips forward, grinding against his erection and he groans. Perfect. He gets more aggressive…running his hands against my bare stomach…leaving off where we were the last time we pushed the limits. A low growl rumbles through my chest, but it's not thirst. It's desire.

I grind my hips forward again, a moan escaping my lips as one escapes his. He doesn't let up, running his hands around my stomach to my bare back, grazing the waistband of my shorts but not making a move to do anything with them. I smile at that and grind against him once more. He feels so hot underneath me…and that heat is fueling me. He runs his hands up my sides and they're at my breast. I freeze, but not because of my thirst.

I told you before, my dirty little secret is I'm self conscious of my body. Being short and petite…"pixie-like"…I've never fit the mold for vampire beauty. It's not as bad as it use to be when I use to dress as a boy to hide, but I'm still not one hundred percent comfortable. I'm curvy for my size, but not the perfection of most vampires. "You ok?" Pat asks, sensing my hesitation. I bite my bottom lip and nod. "We can stop," he says. I shake my head. "Just…nervous," I whisper. He chuckles. "You?" he asks, "you're gorgeous. I'm the one that should be nervous." I look down at him. "I'm not gorgeous," I whisper.

He looks at me like I've told him the world is flat. "Is your thirst under control?" he ask, "I can't see your eyes in the dark." "Yeah," I whisper, "thirst isn't the problem." "Then why don't you let me be the judge?" he asks. I don't respond. "Please Alice," he whispers, "I really need to touch you right now." That answers it for me…he said 'need', not 'want'. I bite my lip again and nod.

He lifts my shirt slightly and cups both breasts with each hand. The sudden warmth makes me shiver and I feel my nipples perk up at the attention. "Perfect fit," he whispers in awe. I don't respond. He runs his hands gently over them, mapping my flesh with his hands. He lets go long enough to pull my shirt up a little higher, giving him a glimpse in the dim light. "Alice…you're beautiful," he whispers before leaning in to kiss my left nipple.

Any reservation I had crumbled the moment his warm mouth surrounded my nipple. My hands immediately flew back to his hair. I lean forward so he doesn't have to strain his neck and grind against him again. The feel of him moaning around the nub stokes the fire burning in the pit of my stomach. He suckles on my left nipple and cups the right one yet again. I exhale harshly, air hissing through my clenched teeth but Pat doesn't even slow down.

I lift up and his head moves with me. I put both hands on his shoulders and push him back against the bed. I attack his mouth, tongue delving deep, the fire burning hotter as I taste him again on my tongue. His hands shoot to my hips, pushing together, putting pressure on my pelvis. I moan and grind against him again as he gets aggressive yet again. He pushes his hips upward and I almost lose it right there. I've got to stop…I've got to stop…I've got to stop. If I don't I WILL lose control. I'm teetering on the edge right now.

I break off the kiss forcefully, both of us panting heavily. "Too much?" he asks. I shake my head, still panting. "Right on the edge though," I gasp. He smiles. "Wow," he says softly. "Wow is right," I say in agreement.

We're both quiet for a minute. "I did it," he says absently. "Huh?" I ask. He shakes his head. "Don't shake you head at me," I say sternly, "what is it?" He shrugs. "You…liked it," he says meekly. "I _loved_ it," I correct, "you had me wanting to attack you…and I'm not talking about thirst." "I didn't know…if I could," he admits, "being a mere human, ya know?" I roll my eyes in the dark, though I know he can't see."

"Pat, you're wonderful," I assure him, "yes, it's different than a vampire…but it still feels…wonderful." "Really?" he asks. If he didn't sound so shocked, I'd swear he was fishing for a compliment. "I'm not perfect and immortal," he says sadly, "you forget that." "I don't forget anything," I reply staring down into his eyes. "You are perfect for me…don't forget that." "So are you," he says flatly, "YOU don't forget." I bite my bottom lip and nod. "Time to sleep," I say, breaking the spell. "Time to go again," he corrects with a mischievous grin. I smile and kiss him again. We 'practice' until late into the night.


	21. Chapter 20

(A/N Not that big a fan of this chapter, but I needed to get some time to pass. That's why the first 1/2 just isn't that interesting. I promise it'll get better.)

**I don't own Twilight.**

CHAPTER 20-ALICE'S P.O.V.

That night was both good and bad for me. Good because I had a new understanding of how good my control was. Good because I got intimately closer to anyone than I have since Jasper's passing. Good because not only did I feel good, I felt _alive_. I felt whole. It gave me confidence. Before, I was afraid I had made a mistake. That we were only destined for friendship…nothing more. That the combination of my broken spirit and my blood lust was going to be too high a hurdle for us to get over.

Now for the bad news. Once I had a taste, I wanted MORE. I swear I couldn't get enough. Every moment we didn't have an audience (and there weren't NEAR enough) I was on him. Patrick, to his credit, seemed as happy with the progression as I was. Like he had been waiting as long as I had and wanted me as much as I wanted him. He told me I was beautiful…but more than that he made me FEEL beautiful.

I learned something else too: he was holding back. I could feel it sometimes. He would do things like when he was under me kissing (our favorite evening pastime) I would feel his thumbs hook into the waistband of my shorts like he was about to pull them off and he would stop himself. I'm glad…I'm not sure I could stop him if he didn't stop himself. It all boiled down to one word: control. I had to control my thirst, my strength, and my desire. And it was getting harder all the time.

Pops and Tori were happy to have me around. Patrick made it a point to have dinner ready before the old man woke up to go to work, claming I had 'picked' at the food while he was cooking it to explain why I wasn't hungry. "Not like it takes that much to fill her up," Pops grumbled. Other than my eating habits, the old man seemed to enjoy my presence. Besides my lack of appetite, he did comment on my temperature, though he thought it was because I was so thin. "My skinny ass gets cold easy too," he says with a twinkle in his eye. I learned another interesting thing about Pat. He didn't like to fish.

Oh, he use to. "I like to fish when I go when I want to," he explains, "when I don't _have_ to go." Turns out Pat's family had less money than I thought and Pops being too old to "go trouncing through the damn woods" Pat fished and hunted to put food on the table. I didn't mind sitting with him while he stood on the river, pole in hand, and fished for trout, bass, or salmon. He went at least twice a week the first month, catching his limit nearly every time. He would cook part of it for dinner and put the rest in the freezer for winter. He felt the same way about hunting…but I was planning on helping him with that.

He got to see my explanation to the mystery of vampires and sunlight. I'd seen it was going to happen…and that we would be alone…on one trip to the stream and wore a bathing suit top under my t-shirt and stood in the shade. "Pat," I said softly, "could you come here?" He walked about halfway to me and I stopped him. Swallowing my fear, I took off my t-shirt and walked into the sunlight. "Holy shit!" he exclaimed. I stopped in front of him shyly. "Alice," he whispered, "I just _thought_ you were beautiful before…" He then reached towards me, but hesitated. "You can touch me Pat," I say shyly, biting my lower lip. He stroked my arm carefully, then my face, before finally pulling me to him. I was warm in the sun, but even warmer in his embrace. _He thinks I'm beautiful_, I thought. I could've squealed in delight at that.

I split my time between home and Tori when Patrick was required to report to school for summer conditioning. "No rest for the weary," he grumbled. I rewarded him after his first day by changing things up. I decided to push my resolve and when I got to his room instead of pushing him down and climbing on top of him, I pulled him on top of me.

You wouldn't think it would be anymore difficult…I mean we didn't do anything different except he was on top of me instead of vice versa. Wrong. Under him, I couldn't pull away from his scent, his warmth, or his weight. Especially his weight. He's not heavy to me…I could probably pick him up and throw him past the Canadian border…but with his pelvis against mine it literally drove me crazy. I could feel him with me on top, but I could control it with a simple shift of my hips making it harder, softer, or completely moving away. With him on top it was constant and _hot_. The first time our mouths broke and he began to kiss my neck I thought I was going to combust. I moaned more that night than I have since I met Patrick…and that only pushed him harder. He pressed against me once and by either sheer accident or divine intervention grazed near my clit and I thought my head was going to explode. We cut it short that night, both of us panting for breath, teased to a near frenzy.

Bella once asked me if I believed the world was balanced. That you were only allowed a certain amount of good before something bad happened. She said she felt that way the day I had the vision of the Volturi coming for us. She felt she had it all. Edward was her husband, Renesmee was alive, she had her immortality, her and Jacob were still friends, the treaty with the wolves was still intact, and she was able to still be a part of Charlie's life. I think about that sometimes, when I'm lying with Patrick and he's peacefully next to me if maybe this is the calm before the storm. That fate was once again taking something for me. I know logically it didn't balance out. I had already lost Jasper. What more could fate want?

Esme met me at the front door as I got home in the morning. Amber had Tori today. "Amber called and wanted to know if you wanted to go shopping today?" I bounce up and down happily. "I'll pick you up in an hour," I tell her as soon as she answers the phone. "Cool," she replies, "Pat's got two-a-days anyway so no hurry." I groan, remembering this. Conditioning in the morning, actual practice in the afternoon. "Spokane again?" I ask. "Sure," she replies, "You're got fifty-eight minutes." I grin. "Getting in the shower now," I squeal hanging up before she can even say 'bye'.

"I went ahead and called Carlisle," Esme said as I bound up the stairs, "you'll need to pick up his Mercedes…you'll need the tint, remember?" I nod. The mall has a parking garage, so I'll be covered there. I run through the shower fix my hair (my old funky spikes) and put on a nice summer dress I ordered online right after school let out. I wonder if Pat would like it? I imagine sneaking in his room tonight…straddling him…kissing him…how his warm body would feel against my bare thighs with nothing between us except…BAD ALICE! I swear that boy has changed my life.

I drop the Volvo off at the hospital and pick up the Mercedes, making it to Amber's house in plenty of time. "Wow," a woman says when she answers the door, "you're as cute as Pat said you were." I recognize her from pictures…his mom. "Alice Cullen," I say offering my hand. She smiles and accepts. "Miranda Williamson," she replies, "it's a pleasure to meet you Alice." "Likewise," I say sweetly, throwing her a beaming smile, "Pat always speaks so highly of you." This coaxes an even bigger smile out of her.

"So you're the young woman that's stolen my little boy's heart," she says absently. My grin only gets wider. "He's wonderful," I agree. "If you two are done singing Pat's praises," Amber says from inside the house, "Tori and I are ready to go." Both of them come out. Tori looks so cute with her blond hair in a ponytail and denim overalls. Huh, wonder if Pat would like overalls? "You girls be careful," Miranda says as we're leaving, "and be good for Amber and Alice, Tori." She nods and waves with a smile. I check my vision as we walk to the car. Yep…Pat would think I look "sexy" (his words…not mine so to speak). Gods I love that farm boy.

The trip, after we stop and get a Happy Meal for Tori, is fun. We sing silly songs and Tori tells us about her upcoming birthday. I smile and start planning to get her a present. Amber ask me lots of question about Emmett and I do my best to answer as truthfully as I can. He needs someone…and Amber would be a good choice, ignoring the human part…but I don't want to push him in her direction. Emmett's in a better place than I am…I admit that. He's been that way for a long time too…which is good. Jasper wouldn't want me to be sad, but Emmett was right: Rosaline would've smacked both of us if she saw how we (especially me) acted.

I really have to fight to control myself with Tori. No, I wasn't tempted to feed off her…I wanted to buy her every cute outfit I got my hands on. I'm serious…she was too cute for her own good. I did buy her two, but they were on sale. Amber assured me Miranda wouldn't be put off about it, so I did. Tori's smile made it all worth it.

I did find me some cute overalls, earning me an eye roll from Amber. Afterwards, we went to a toy store and that took forever. Not because of Tori…because of me. I wanted to play with _everything_. I acted like a kid myself running around the isles firing Nerf guns, throwing balls, and even popping a couple of cans of Silly String. I even rode a skateboard around for a while…till they asked us to leave. I paid for the Silly String so I don't know what they're problem was.

I checked my watch, it wasn't even dark yet so we went to the arcade and let Tori play on one of the dance machines for a while. Then we all three raced cars (I won of course). I figured since Pat was going to be at practice, I would get Tori home in time to go to bed, return Carlisle's car, and come back to spend the night with Pat. A shiver runs up my spine just thinking about it.

Tori and Amber are playing some zombie shooting game when Amber's cell phone rings. She hands the gun controller to me and answers. "Hi mom," she replies. "No," she answers, "Pat had practice…remember?" Silence. "Eight till ten-thirty this morning then four till seven this evening." Silence. "What do you mean he didn't show for the afternoon session?" Silence again. "Has anyone called Pops?" Longer silence. "Mom," she says softly, out of earshot of Tori, "I think something's wrong." "Pat wouldn't miss practice if it wasn't."

I let my character get eaten so I can listen. "No mom, Alice is with me…remember?" Silence. "Ok, we're coming home now…I'll call you if Alice or I hear from him. Love you too…and we'll be careful." "Bye." She hangs up the phone and turns to me. Her face is easy to read…panicked. "Pat didn't show up for afternoon practice," she says quickly, "mom wondered if he skipped out to go with us." She snorts. "Not likely." I nod in agreement. "Alice," she says softly, turning away from Tori, "why do I have a bad feeling about this?" "I don't know," I reply back, "I don't have a good feeling either though."

"Tori," Amber says turning back around, "we need to be heading home." "I have to go to the bathroom," Tori announces. "Take her," I say quickly, "I'll check with my family just in case…maybe him and Emmett went fishing." I KNEW that was bullshit, but I did need to talk to them. "I'll meet you by the elevator to the garage." Amber nods and takes Tori's hand.

I'm dialing before they even get out of sight. "Edward," I say quickly, "Pat is missing." "I heard," he replies, "his grandfather called the house a few minutes ago." "Any ideas?" I ask. "Mr. Williamson said Pat was going to check two of their green fields on the north end of their property between practices," Edward replies, "Emmett, Bella, and Carlisle are on his way to check." "Good," I reply, hurrying towards the exit, "anything else?" "No," he replies thoughtfully, "it's probably going to be slow going though. Patrick's scent is all over that property." I sigh, tapping my foot waiting on Amber and Tori.

"Have you tried your visions?" "No," I reply, "you know I don't force them anymore unless I have to." "You don't have to now?" Edward asks. "Good point," I reply, "hold on." I close my eyes and concentrate.

_All I can see is the forest. Pat is tied to a tree. A large man with black hair is standing in front of him. "Soon enough," the man says, looking at the sky._

I snap back to present and repeat to Edward at vampire speed. "Someone has him!" I exclaim. "I'm calling Carlisle now," Edward replies quickly, "hurry home." I click the phone shut and spot Tori and Amber coming towards me. "My family hasn't seen him either," I answer before Amber can ask, "I want to get home." She nods in agreement and we hurry to the car. I'm in drive before Amber even gets her seat belt on. I'm not pushing it as fast as I can because of the two humans in the car but I'm moving fast enough Amber's knuckles are white against the arm rest. To her credit, she doesn't tell me to slow down. "Where is he? Amber whispers. I shake my head. "I honestly don't know," I reply, "but you're right…he wouldn't miss the first day of actual practice." Tori is looking out the window, not paying us attention.

I get out of Spokane and floor it. "Slow down Alice," Amber hisses quietly. "If I do, it'll be to stop and let you out," I hiss back. I must have scared her because she doesn't respond. "I'm sorry Amber," I reply quietly, "but I'm really worried." "Plan now…worry later," Amber replies. "I'll take you and Tori to your house," I answer quickly, "your family take her tonight?" She nods. "Esme is waiting by our phone," I continue, "Pops is waiting at work." I nod, gripping the steering wheel tightly. "How much longer?" Tori ask from the backseat. "About half an hour sweetie," I reply. She nods, bobbing her head to whatever song is playing in her mind. Nobody speaks the rest of the way home.

I drop my riders off and immediately head to the Williamson's house wondering who the hell would want to grab Pat. I park in the yard and call Edward. "We're picked up his trail about three miles northwest of the property," Edward replies, "come on." "On my way," I reply, running before I even end the call. Another vision stops me in my tracks.

_Pat is running through the forest, led only by the light of the full moon. I know the look on his face; it's the look of every animal I've ever had to chase to drink it's blood. I hear a howl in the distance. A wolf? Pat flinches at the sound and stops. Looking around, he sees a thick tree with a few low hanging branches. He hurries to it and begins to climb up, another howl causing him to flinch again as he does._

I pick up my pace, finding my family's trail and following them as fast as my legs can carry me. Pat got away from the unknown man and by trying to get home ran across a pack of wolves. I snarl as I run. I already don't like wolves. My family's scent is getting stronger…I hope they're waiting for me. Pat should be safe for now; wolves can't climb trees.

I catch up to them about five or six miles out. "Whoever that was," Edward replies, "carried him a long way out…Mr. Williamson said Pat should've been close to the property line." I nod. "We picked up a strange scent," Emmett adds, "I don't know who it was." I replay my vision to them. "You're thinking he got away and now he has a wolf on his tail?" Bella ask. "Or a pack," Edward replies for me. I nod. We've covered another mile and the trail bends to the right.

"See that?" Edward asks pointing at the rope on the ground. We all stop. "What did you say you saw Alice?" Carlisle asks as an awful stench hits our nose. It smells even worse than the La Push pack. My eyes would be watering if I could produce tears. "What is that god awful smell?" Emmett asks. "What did you see?" Carlisle asks, more panicked this time. "Pat was running through the woods," I reply quickly, "and he heard a wolf howl behind him." "He turned and climbed up a tree." Carlisle's face goes even paler if that's possible. "What's wrong Carlisle?" Emmett asks. "We have to find him _now_," Carlisle says panicked. "He's ok," Emmett says quickly, trying to soothe him, "wolves can't climb trees." Carlisle turns to the largest of the family. "Werewolves can," he replies gravely.


	22. Chapter 21

**I don't own Twilight.**

CHAPTER 21-ALICE'S P.O.V.

"WHAT?" Bella, Edward, and I all exclaim at once. "That…odor," Carlisle replies, "belongs to a werewolf. I haven't sensed one since my time at the Volturi…but you don't forget _that_ stench." "We have to find him," I whimper. I didn't like Pat's chances with a regular pack of wolves…_this_ was insane. "Let's go get him," Emmett says loudly, obviously in battle mode. "Stay together," Carlisle replies as he takes point. "I only smell one." "A werewolf is a formidable opponent against a lone vampire. Against four, we should be alright."

I'm literally in Carlisle's back pocket. "How did he get away?" Bella ask. "The werewolf probably caught Pat in his human form," Carlisle explains as we run, "and released him right before the moon was to rise. They love their chase…even more than James did." Bella and I shudder at this. "If he's following Pat…they can't be far," Emmett says aloud, "I mean, Pat couldn't have gone that far." "Depending on his head start and if he was injured or not," Carlisle replies, "Pat could have covered at the most three or four miles." "Pat's in good shape and was raised in these woods," I reply, "but if a werewolf is fast enough to be a danger to us…" I let the thought drop. I don't want to think about it.

We pick up Pat's trail quickly, though it's cloaked in the horrible stench we smelled earlier. The shape-shifters have a strong smell of wet dog…this smells like a dog dead on the highway, bloat and decaying in the sun. "I hear him…sort of," Edward says grimly, "Patrick is frightened and the _thing_…it's head is chaos." Carlisle pushes harder and I grit my teeth. I'm faster than he is…faster than anyone here except Edward and right now it would be close. We reach a small clearing and find it.

How do you describe a werewolf? Let's see…take a man and make him as tall as Jacob. Now, make him as wide as Emmett and cover him in coarse black hair. Throws in lupine features to the face…pointed ears, long snout, long wide tail…four-inch claws and teeth to match. Add caution light-yellow eyes and you have a werewolf. I actually gasp in shock. I had always thought vampires were the top of the food chain on this planet. That all I had to fear was another of our kind. Seeing this is a vampire's worst nightmare. What makes him my worst nightmare is he's twenty feet up the tree with Patrick.

He takes a swipe at Pat, off balance, and catches him across the left shoulder. It's hard enough. Patrick screams, pitches forward and reflexively grabs the wounded limb. Blood splatters across the tree and he crashes through the canopy to the ground. I don't know how he did it…self-preservation maybe…but surprisingly he lands on his feet, though he leans left and collapses to the ground in a heap.

Three different battles start the moment Patrick hit's the ground. Carlisle sprints over to the fallen boy and begins to tend to him. The werewolf drops down out of the tree and Emmett and Edward immediately engage. Lastly, Bella tackles me because my sense of vision clouds over with a red haze as the scent of Pat's freshly spilled blood reaches me. I kick and thrash, my mind crazed with the thought of that wonderful smell going to waste. "I WANT!" I scream, trying to buck Bella off of me.

"Alice," she replies through gritted teeth, holding her breath, "it's _Patrick_." I know who it is. I know who Patrick is. Patrick is my singer…the one person on this planet it's a crying shame for me to miss drinking. If he dies on the forest floor, it will go to waste. I want, I want, I want! Bella won't let me up, and she's stronger even in my crazed state.

"What do we do Carlisle?" Edward's voice floats over my senses. "Same as us," Carlisle replies, obviously distracted, "tear him apart and burn him." I worm my way under Bella, almost getting free. Bella gets me in a headlock, clamping down on my throat and pushing me face into the dirt. Lying on the ground, Bella's chokehold stopping my ability to breathe, I can take in the scene.

Emmett and Edward have the werewolf handled. Emmett has it around the waist and it lifts it's legs trying to kick Edward. Edward grabs a leg and literally yanks it off. Dark read blood, almost black and even more foul smelling that his scent we tracked splatters across the clearing. Emmett takes it to the ground and finishes it with his fangs against its neck, decapitating it.

I turn my head in the opposite direction. Carlisle is bent over Patrick, all I can see is Patrick's legs. I stop fighting as Carlisle shifts, now that I can see Patrick's face. He's pale from pain and blood loss, his eyelids fluttering. Carlisle has his hand completely in the middle of one of the four gashes. "Edward, I need help," Carlisle says calmly. That scares me…Carlisle's in doctor mode. Edward comes running up. "I have my fingers clamping off the artery," he says quickly, "we have to get him to a hospital quickly." "Alice," Edward calls, "are you ok?" "No," Bella answers for me, "she's not in control." I swallow, then sob, the last of my air uses to wail out in agony. "You have to get it together, Alice," Bella whispers. I nod weakly but don't reply.

"Alice listen to me," Carlisle voice comes from my left, "Patrick may not survive this. I have the artery clamped off and if we don't get him to a hospital soon he will die or lose his arm. We need you to get it together." I nod weakly. Patrick, my beautiful Patrick, is lying there fighting for his life and I'm fighting against him.

"Emmett, here's the plan," Carlisle says, "you carry Patrick in your arms and me on your back. I can't take my hand away or he may bleed to death." "Tourniquet?" Edward asks. Carlisle shakes his head. "It's closer to the chest than in the extremity," he explains, "we can't get a tourniquet between the laceration and the heart." Emmett swears under his breath. "I'll get Alice," Bella says quickly, "just get Pat to the hospital." "Are you sure Love?" Edward asks. "I got her," she says again firmly.

I don't see it when they take off behind me. "Alice," Bella says in my ear, "I'm going to let go of your throat…but I'm not letting you up until you're sure you can handle it." I nod weakly. She releases my throat and pushes me onto my stomach, straddling my lower back. My first breath sets my throat to screaming. Most of the blood he lost hasn't dried and it smells wonderful…even next to the stench of the burning werewolf. "I know Alice," Bella says softly, "but you must resist. That's Patrick." I nod and shut my eyes tightly. I can actually picture myself eating dirt, scooping up handfuls saturated with his blood and putting it into my mouth. The thought sickens me. I shake my head harshly, trying to clear that vision. "Alice, pull it together," Bella whispers softly in my ear, "Patrick needs you." I shake my head again. No he doesn't. If that werewolf hadn't killed him I would've.

I inhale again and notice the scent has eased up some. The blood has either dried or been soaked up into the earth. It's still bad. "Let's hunt," Bella whispers, "then we'll go see Patrick." I shake my head. "I can't," I state, then begin bawling, "I almost killed him." "Alice, that was a _lot_ of blood," Bella says firmly, "and he needs you." She eases her weight off me. "Come on," she presses, pulling me up, "he needs you."

She takes my hand and pulls me into the forest. I'm dragging my feet, ashamed of myself. Bella's no help. She just pulls me harder. We scare up a herd of deer and Bella leaps in and kills three of them, breaking their necks. "Don't make me force feed you Alice," Bella says firmly, "at least make sure your eyes aren't black." I shudder and drink from one of the deer. I finish and Bella hands me a second. I shake my head and she growls and thrust it at me. I drink it too.

Bella's phone rings as she's drinking the third one. "Edward," she answers. "Patrick is in surgery now," Edward says grimly, "he's lost a lot of blood. He also broke his forearm when he fell, but nothing else. He's lucky." I wince at this. "How's Alice?" I hear him say. "I think you know," Bella says sadly. I hear him exhale. "Go home, get cleaned up, and Esme will drive you both here," Edward says quickly, "Pat will be in surgery for a while yet." "Ok love," Bella say, "keep us posted." They hang up. "Let's go," she says firmly.

Running back home I'm left with my thoughts…which isn't good. Patrick needed me and I failed. Not only did I fail to protect him, I almost killed him myself. Remorse sets in. What did I do to deserve this? Had Patrick died, I would've found a way to end my existence. One heartbreak in an existence is enough…how could I be expected to survive two? It sounds like I should just leave…

I don't speak to Esme. I just run up to my room and hurry to wash up and change clothes. I go with jeans and a white blouse, the first things I get my hands on. Bella and Esme are waiting downstairs as I pull my damp hair up in a ponytail. She hugs me gently and I give her a weak smile in return. "We're taking Carlisle's car," Esme says, going into mother hen mode, "they took Pat in the Volvo." I nod and swallow thickly. "Edward called again while you were in the shower," Bella adds, tugging at my arm, "Pat's still in surgery." I don't respond. I get into the back seat. It feels colder back here without Patrick.

Bella leads me through the hospital and straight to the ICU waiting room. "When he comes out of surgery, this is where he's going." I nod. Amber is the first face I see…a sleeping Tori in her arms. "Alice," she says weakly, a tear running down her face. "How is he?" I ask. She shakes her head. "Bad," she whispers, "when they talked to Pops, they kept saying he may lose his arm." I wince. Pops is sitting in a chair, arms folded across his chest, his eyes far away. I walk over and kneel beside him. "Glad you came," he says softly, taking my hand. I give him a weak smile.

"Pat'll pull through," he continues, "he's tough." I nod, my eyes burning from the lack of tears. "Would it help if I took Tori home with me and put her to bed?" Esme ask gently. Pops thinks about it for a moment. "Maybe take her home Esme," Edward suggest, walking up from behind her, "she may sleep better in her own bed." Pops nods. "The key's under the mat," he whispers his eyes far away. Amber gives Tori to Esme. Tori doesn't even stir. I see dried tears on her face and a lump forms in my throat. "Call me," Esme mouths as she hurries out of the room.

Miranda is huddled in a chair on the other side of the room. "Melanie…my mom," Amber whispers in my ear, "will be here later." I nod. Amber goes to Miranda and I give them their privacy. Will is there also, leaning forward massaging his temple. Bella and Edward were standing in the very far corner of the room, whisper so low and fast I can't keep up. Time drags. Carlisle comes from down the hall, wearing scrubs. "They're still repairing the artery," he explains, "but so far so good." "They've had to give him four pints of blood so far." Everyone nods.

Will stands up and comes over to stand next to me. "I didn't see you," he whispers, squeezing my shoulder with his large hand gently. I nod and pat the hand on the shoulder. "What happened?" Will ask. I shrug. "When Pops started calling around, Edward and I went to look for him," Emmett says softly, coming to us. "We found him in a clearing a few miles away. It looked like some kind of animal had gotten him." Will nods. "We knew something was up when he showed up in the morning but not the afternoon," he explains, "Coach Brooks was ready to go to his house himself." I don't respond to that.

Patrick was in surgery six hours. He came out with blood still hanging on an infuser. "That's the fourth one," Edward whispers in my ear, reading my mind. Pat was on a ventilator and his left shoulder was heavily bandaged along with his left forearm in a cast. I take a deep breath. Pat smells…wrong. My mouth doesn't produce a drop of venom. "It's the transfusions," Edward whispers in my ear, "there's so much blood in his body that's not his he doesn't smell like he usually does. I remember when James attacked Bella…the same thing happened when she was given blood." I nod at this.

I want so badly to touch him. To kneel at the edge of his bed and cry and beg him to forgive me. To tell him how horrible I am. Edward's jaw tightens, but I ignore him. As if fate wasn't cruel enough to try to take him from me, I almost did it myself.

Everyone gathers around the bed, most bleary-eyed from lack of sleep or from dozing in the chairs. Miranda's eyes are tearing. "We repaired the artery," the surgeon says to the group, "and the nerve damage appears to be minimal." "We're crossing our fingers for a full or near full recovery." All the humans exhale in relief. "We're hoping he can be weaned from the vent before noon," the surgeon went on, "though he's going to be weak for a while…his blood count is still lower than we want." "Thank you Doc," Pops says, patting Pat's good shoulder. "I suggest everyone get some sleep," the doctor adds, "he won't wake up for a while." With that, the nurses wheel him into the ICU. I can hear the humans making plans, wanting for someone to be there when Pat wakes up. I want to be there too…so I can tell him goodbye.

I don't know at what point I decide this. I'm honestly trying not to think about it because I know if Edward's paying attention he'll inform the rest of the family and they'll try to stop me. I have to. Not only can I not protect Patrick; I'm even more dangerous to him than anything else walking this earth. I ran into the woods to save him and had my family not been quick enough I would've been the one to take his life. He deserves better than this.

I now know why Edward left Bella after the attack from Jasper. He was right. I didn't believe it then, but I do now. I can't be a part of Patrick's death. "I'm going home for a little while," I tell my family. Edward is looking at me like I have two heads. He knows something's up…especially since I'm blocking my thoughts. "I'll drive you," Bella offers but I shake my head. "Alice," Edward says in a warning voice, "I know why you're blocking me." Bella and Emmett give me the same hard look, then look back to Edward, then back at me. "I'm not going anywhere," I repeat, "just home." Edward gives me a nod. "I'll drive you," Bella says again. Edward gives her a quick hug, mindful of the humans in the room. "I will call as soon as we hear something," he tells us. I hug him and Emmett quickly and Bella and I leave.

The ride home is silent. Bella does try to get me to talk, but I only grunt in reply. I want to be alone in my head. I have plans to make. I'm going away. I don't know where yet…maybe Alaska. The Denali house has sat empty since the night with the Volturi…Eleazear said it made him sad to be there…so maybe I can go there. I need to be along to think. Think…decide…and act without interruptions.

`I'm not going to do what Edward tried. I know if I left like he left Bella it would be only a matter of time before my resolve crumbled and I went back. I can't do it. I check my vision anyway, deciding on mimicking Edward's decision. No…I have the same vision of Patrick as a vampire. I want to start crying when I hear myself say 'mine' as our bodies grind against each other. I feel my bottom lip quivering and I turn towards the window and away from Bella. I have to be brave. I have to be strong. I have to eliminate the biggest threat to Patrick's existence…myself.

I hurry upstairs as soon as we pull up at home, not bothering to talk to Bella. I run straight to my room, grab a duffel bag from the top shelf of my closet, and throw it on the bed. I don't think. I concentrate on being as silent as I can as I throw clothes into the bag. Most of my winter clothes are in the back and that's what I concentrate on; I want it to look like I'm going to Alaska to stay. Not that need anymore time to think. This is what's right…I have to keep Patrick safe. This done I sit at my desk and write a letter to my family. I'll drop it in the mail the day I end my existence and they will be unable to stop me this time.

_Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Bella, and Emmett:_

_By the time you read this, I will be gone. When Edward left Bella, he did it for the right reasons. However he made one error…he thought he could keep away from her so she could live her life. I know that's not the case. I am nowhere near strong as you Edward. That's why I'm writing this._

_I'm writing this the day of Patrick's attack. You know me…always making plans. I want you all to know debate is pointless. I know what I must do. By the time you read this, I will be dead…the same way I wanted to in the woods that night. Do not try to blame yourselves for this…especially you Edward, I know how you think. I love him and the only way to keep him safe is to eliminate his greatest threat: myself._

_I'm writing this for two reasons. As mentioned above, I don't want any of you to blame yourselves. This has been a long time coming. The pain of losing Jasper was more than I thought I could bear. Now almost killing Patrick I know what true pain is. Two heartbreaks in an existence is too much to ask of any being._

_My second reason is a request. Please take care of him. Patrick healed a hole in my heart I thought would literally kill me. This is not his fault. Protect him, share in his human accomplishments, and love him as I do. Comfort him in the grief I know he'll feel and assure him time will heal his wounds. And please, let him know than in my last__moments it was him that I remember._

_I'm sorry_

_All my love,_

_Alice_

I sealed this in an envelope, write the address on the front, and put the required stamps in the corner. This done I toss it on top of my bag, zip it up, and stow it under my bed. I slump down on the floor after this. I don't have a sense of peace yet, but I know it's coming. All I have to do is tell him goodbye and keep it from Edward. My future now has a time limit.


	23. Chapter 22

**I don't own Twilight.**

CHAPTER 22-ALICE'S P.O.V.

I couldn't get near Patrick for the next three days. The rooms in ICU are open and him, being a popular football player in Moscow, was directly in front of the nurse's station. I made it a point to show up when there was no opportunity to visit. This way I was seen but I didn't have to face him yet. Keeping up appearances.

Patrick didn't ask for me. I asked Edward why and he gave me a hard look and shook his head. Great, the mind reader isn't talking. Esme stayed with Tori, bringing her to the hospital so she could visit. Kids weren't supposed to be in ICU, but this was Patrick Williamson. They were willing to bend the rules.

Carlisle began pushing to take Patrick home with us again. He explained to Pops that not only would it be beneficial to have someone with Patrick, but someone with medical experience in case something happened. This was more serious than the concussion. Carlisle had an ulterior motive: we didn't know if Patrick would change. Carlisle didn't think so: you have to be _bitten_ by a werewolf and Patrick was slashed with its claws. However Carlisle didn't want to take any chances.

Both Pops and Miranda were all for it. The surprise…Patrick wasn't. I never spoke with him, but from what I gathered from Carlisle and Edward, Patrick just wanted to go home. "Something's wrong Alice," Edward finally told me, "his mind is in turmoil." I shrug. I'll tell him goodbye when he's moved into a private room, then tell my family I was leaving. I exhale slowly trying to calm myself. Neither conversation was going to be easy.

I got my chance when Patrick was moved to a private room the evening of the fifth day. "I'll go see him tonight," I told my family. Edward shook his head. "He's been sleeping most of the time," he answers guardedly, "and since you haven't been to his bedside yet I'm guessing you want to talk." He eyes me coldly. "Give him another day," he replies, "Patrick will be more awake tomorrow." I shrug and nod. Avoiding the inevitable. My entire family was subdued.

"What's wrong with everyone?" I ask Bella. She gave me a careful look. "Patrick is being stubborn," she explains, "every time he wakes up and we mention staying with us, he gets defensive and refuses. Pops and Miranda are trying to not have to put their foot down, but it's looking like they may have to." I nod. More proof I'm no good for him. Once again, wrapped up in my own grief, I never stopped to consider what he's thinking.

I hung around my room the rest of the day, making final preparations. I tucked my ID, credit cards, and cell phone in my desk drawer. I wouldn't be needing them. I wrote out a detailed plan for them to cover our finances. I even wrote out a Last Will and Testament. I have an account in an offshore bank that no one knows about and I want it put into trust for Patrick, Amber, and Tori for their education. Everyone assumes Patrick can still play and is still looking at a scholarship, but I want to make sure all three of them can go anywhere and do anything. I even clean my room, not that it was that dirty. It gave me something to fill my time and I didn't want Esme to have to bother with it when I was gone. This was better. Instead of making a snap decision like I did last time, I was doing it right. No loose ends.

I was finished by morning with nothing else to do but pace. I swear I'm surprised I haven't worn a hole in the floor of my room. Esme is still keeping Tori, so I don't have to worry about her. I hear the sounds of my siblings coming and going downstairs, but they don't speak. Like they're planning something. I keep my mind blank just in case Edward isn't down there…I know because I don't smell him. Mostly I sense Bella, but once in a while it's Emmett.

Here's the plan: I tell Patrick goodbye using any means necessary. This is going to be the toughest part. Even with my mind made up, my dead heart literally feels like it's trying to pull itself from my chest in his direction. Once that's over I'll go home to get my things and then call a family meeting. This will be the second toughest part…telling my family goodbye and not letting it slip to Edward what I plan to do. I won't be swayed. I have to protect Patrick.

I'll tell them I'm going away because I need some time to think. Once again, I will use any means necessary. Once I convince them, I'll grab my bag and head to Alaska. From there it's simple: mail my letter and end my existence. I check my vision. Damnit, why do I keep having the same vision of making love to Patrick after he's been turned? I check my preparations and go over the events in my mind. Everything's packed, no one is in Alaska to stop me, and Edward doesn't have a clue. Is there another vampire after Patrick? I check my vision again. No, I don't see one. Besides, there's at least one member of my family with him. I remember my letter, begging them to keep him safe. I know they will.

I change into a darker colored blouse right at eight. Visiting hours are now over at the hospital. I take a deep breath, steadying myself for what I'm about to do. Downstairs, Edward, Bella, and Emmett are watching TV. "I'm going to see Patrick," I tell them quickly, hoping to avoid a conversation. I only hear a murmured response from them as I head out the door. I take Edward's Volvo to keep up appearances and to give myself a reason to come back to tell them goodbye. My bottom lip starts quivering as I get closer. _This is the right thing to do_, I keep telling myself. It's the right thing in my head, but my heart is breaking all over again.

Once again, I sneak into the hospital with no problems. Patrick is lying in the hospital bed. There's no blood being administered, just clear IV fluid though he still smells off to me. His eyes are closed his breathing regular. Quickly I sit on the edge of the bed. He has a scratch across his left cheek, probably from where he scraped the bark of a tree limb when he fell. He's still my beautiful Patrick. I don't announce my presence, taking this moment to take him in. This…the peaceful, sleeping Patrick…is the image I will remember as I hold myself to the stake.

"I wondered when you'd show up," he murmurs, opening his eyes. I start to ask and he replies, "I can feel the cold through the sheet." I nod and swallow thickly. He gives me a thoughtful look. "I think I know what you're going to say Alice," he says softly, "so save it." My mouth flies open in shock. "I can see it on your face," he continues. "I came to tell you goodbye," I whisper, "I'm leaving." He nods. "When?" he ask. "Tonight," I whisper.

His jaw clenches. "You're family's been here all day," he hisses, "they didn't tell me." "I haven't told them," I reply quickly, "I'm going to tell them when I leave here. I wanted to tell you first." Oh, how I wish I could read his mind like Edward could. Something's off. I expected him to fight me…to beg me. I expected to have to hurt him to get me to leave. "I'm not surprised," he whispers, his eyes moistening. I give him a puzzled look, but he just turns his head away from me. What did he mean by that?

"Patrick, I love…" and he cuts me off. "Save it Little Rich Girl," he says firmly, "you're leaving. It's for the best." I stare at him in open-mouth shock. "Patrick, I…" begin again but once again he cuts me off. "I don't want to hear it Alice," he says, gritting his teeth, "you're leaving…and it's for the best." I nod in understanding. He must know what happened in the woods…that I was dangerous to him.

"I'm sorry," I whisper as I stand and hurry out of the hospital. I stop in the stairway, trying to get under control. I smell Carlisle's scent in the hospital, but no of my other family. I think for a moment about telling him goodbye now, but decide against it. This is going to be hard enough. I'll tell them all at once.

I fly out of the hospital and into the nearby woods. My sobs are overtaking me before I can even stop running. Patrick knew! He knew I was going to kill him. Some small part of me had hoped he hadn't. I find a large rock to sit on, wrap my arms around my knees, and sob for several hours while I wait for Carlisle to get off work. Patrick will understand. He'll realize I left only to keep him safe.

I check my visions once again, screaming in frustration as I have the same one…Patrick as a vampire. No! Was someone in my family going to change him? I decide I'm going to stipulate to them not to do this. Patrick has too much to live for. Patrick knows what he's going to do. Football in college where he can get his education. The NFL if he's lucky, a high paying job with his degree if that doesn't work. Tori will be taken care of. I wrap my arms tighter around my legs. My beautiful Patrick. Even in death, I will still consider him 'mine'.

I finally stop sobbing and stand, dusting myself off. I still have to get away from my family. Quickly I run back to the car, a shiver running down my spine as I think of the last night I spent in Patrick's bedroom. The thirst was so strong, but so was the desire. I shiver again as I get into the Volvo and drive away. I push the thought out of my mind and steel myself for the upcoming argument. I know this won't be easy. _Keep you mind blank,_ I tell myself. It's the only way my plan will work.

I park the car and run up onto the porch, freezing when I get to the front door. I smell my entire family…even Carlisle. I also smell a faint scent of human. This stops me cold. It's vaguely familiar, but I can't place it. Maybe a deliveryman from earlier? I'll run upstairs, grab my bag, and run downstairs so they'll know I'm committed. I run up the stairs, noting they're all in the living room though I avoid eye contact. That human scent is there also. It's a little late for a delivery. I hope they get rid of whoever it is quick. I grab my bag and hoist it over my shoulder. Maybe I could take the cowardly way out and leave while they're trying to deal with this random human.

Emmett is standing at the foot of the stairs when I run back down, arms crossed across his chest blocking my escape. I freeze and turn to look at the rest of the family. Carlisle is sitting on one end of the couch, Edward on the other. Esme and Bella are right beside their mates. I gasp as I register the strange human scent that was vaguely familiar. It's Patrick. He's sitting between the female vampires, arms crosses like Emmett. His shirt is off, his left shoulder heavily bandaged. He looks angry.

_Of course it's Patrick,_ I think to myself. _He smells strange because of the blood transfusions, remember?_ He's glaring at me, scarcely breathing. His face it white and his jaw is clenched so tight I'm afraid he's going to break his teeth. "Patrick, you need to let me give you some pain medicine," Carlisle says softly. "Go fuck yourself," Patrick replies just as softly, "if you want me to have pain meds, take me back to the hospital." My eyes narrow. "Yeah Alice," Patrick sneers, "your 'family' kidnapped me. I'm not here of my own free will." I look accusingly at Edward, who meets my gaze with a hard stare.

"Do you think we're blind Alice?" Edward says, fighting to keep the anger out of his own voices. I don't respond. "We know what you're planning," Esme says softly, "we know you're leaving." Patrick's chin drops to his chest and I ache to touch him. "You both have some kind of mental defect that keeps you from seeing clearly," Emmett says from behind me, "so we decided that maybe we should intervene." "If anyone here doesn't like what my mind thinks," Pat fires back, replying to Emmett but speaking obviously for Edward's benefit, "they should stay out of it."

Edward doesn't take the bait. "Sit Alice," he says firmly. I scowl at him. I'm not some child he can scold. "Sit Alice," Bella says, even more firmly. I comply, sitting cross-legged on the floor. I'm not going to change my mind. "Alice," Edward begins, "I know what you're thinking. Remember, I've been in your shoes. You're wrong…you do deserve Patrick." I hang my head. Patrick doesn't comment. "Yes you slipped…under extreme stress I might add…but everyone understands. _Everyone,_" he reiterates, looking at Patrick who nods in reply.

"I want him to be safe," I whisper. Edward nods. "And I can understand that," he replies, "but don't you think the person who loves him the most in this world can protect him better than anyone else?" I shake my head. "I'm the most dangerous thing in this world to him," I reply. "You love him more than anything in this world," Bella adds, "and for that reason you won't kill him." Patrick still hasn't spoken. I'm getting curious. If they're trying to talk me into not leaving, why aren't they using the one person that would kill my resolve?

Edward turns and looks at Patrick. "He has his own issues," he replies to the thought in my head, "and only you are going to solve those." I swallow harshly. "I want her to go," Patrick finally speaks, "and she wants to leave. I don't see what the problem is. Let her be on her way, then I can be on mine." I give him a pitiful look. This isn't Patrick…something is wrong. "Not going to happen bro," Emmett replies, still behind me, "we're going to work this out so you sit there like a good human and let us handle this." The look on Pat's face when Emmett says 'good human' would melt iron.

"Alice," Carlisle says softly, "you knew this relationship was going to be difficult. Don't you want to see it through?" "Not as Pat's expense," I reply just as softly, "I can't have him in danger." Pat snorts and I pick up his mood. He's not just angry…he's pissed. "Why is Pat here?" I ask. "They think I can talk you out of not leaving," he answers before any of my family does. "They're right," Bella comments. Neither Pat nor I respond.

"Pat loves you," Bella continues, "and you love him. That's enough." "No it isn't," I reply firmly, "I'm the most dangerous thing in this world to him and I can't live with myself if something happens to him. I _won't_ be responsible for him being in danger." My mind slips to my letter, remembering what I wrote. It was a mistake.

Edward picks the thought as soon as I let my guard down. "You're WHAT?" he snarls. I hang my head in shame. "What is it son?" Carlisle asks gently. "She plans on _eliminating_ Patrick's greatest threat," Edward says through gritted teeth, "she remembers how hard it was for me to stay away from Bella and she plans on making sure she can…through any mean necessary." Patrick looks up quickly at this. "No," he snarls. Carlisle and Esme have matching looks of shock on their face. "You mean," Patrick ask, "she's going to…recreate the Salem Witch Trials again?" Edward glares at Patrick, but nods.

"Shit," Patrick swears under his breath, though I know everyone in the room can hear him. "That is NOT acceptable," Edward snarls at me. "You don't tell me what's not acceptable Edward Cullen," I snarl back, "I _love_ him…and if ending my existence means he's safe, consider it done."

Now it's out in the open. Everybody knows it's not a passing thought…that I fully plan to go through with this. "Are you nuts?" Emmett asks. "You can't kill yourself to keep him safe." "He's right Alice," Bella chimes in, "how do you know he's safe if you're not here to make sure?" "The greatest threat to his life will be gone," I reply sadly, "I'm trusting my family to take care of the rest." "No way," Patrick says with his eyes sparking as they meet mine, "you're not offing yourself for me." "It's not your decision Pat," I say softly. "If you do," he replies evenly, "your family won't be able to keep me safe."

I stare back at him. "I don't have to set myself on fire," he says grimly, "it's a lot easier for a human to end their existence." There is no bluff on his face. "No, no, no," Edward screams, "no one is snuffing their lives out today." Patrick and I keep our eyes locked together. Esme is sobbing. Carlisle's mouth is set in a tight line. Bella has moved to sit beside me and has a death grip on my hand. Edward is on his feet, alternating his glare between Patrick and me. I can't see Emmett. "Hasn't this family lost enough?" Edward snarls. Neither Pat nor I break eye contact. It's almost like we're fighting with our eyes, trying to will the other to break. He has to blink obviously, but even with the quick movements of his eyelids, his gaze never leaves mine.

"We've lost a brother and a sister," Edward continues sadly, "Alice lost a husband…Emmett lost a wife. We lost our cousins and most of our friends. We've lost enough for this existence." Edward's gaze settles on me. "This boy has done something none of us have," he says. I notice Pat flinching at the word 'boy'. "He has mended your broken heart. Do not squander this Alice…I don't honestly know if this family could survive if another one of us is taken away."

I lose the staring contest with Pat to turn to look at Edward. "Please Alice," he begs, "let him finish healing you." My bottom lip quivers again and I swallow. "Please Alice," Bella echoes from beside me, leaning her head on my shoulder. I look at Patrick. His doesn't speak, but his eyes echo the same pleading. I take a deep breath and reluctantly relent. They have me and they know it.

The whole point of leaving is to protect Patrick. Unlike Edward with Bella, I can't make Patrick promise to be careful. Patrick…rather he's bluffing or not…knows I won't leave him in danger. If staying is what I have to do to protect him, then staying is what I'm going to do. I need him…alive.


	24. Chapter 23

**Still don't own Twilight.**

CHAPTER 23-ALICE'S P.O.V.

"Great," Patrick says sarcastically, "can I go home now?" All heads turn to the human. "You…want to leave?" I ask. He shrugs. "You're not going to off yourself," he replies, "but the danger is still there…makes sense that I be the one to walk away." Edward snorts. "She may buy that, but I don't," he replies curtly. Patrick glares at him.

"Patrick, you're in pain," Carlisle interjects, "definitely tired…and probably hungry. Please realize that what you're feeling isn't what you would if your head was clearer." Patrick glares at Carlisle. "I know what I feel," he growls back, "this just put it into perspective." I look at Edward. _What's going on?_ I think. "Ask him," Edward says nodding once towards Patrick.

"I'm going home," Patrick says simply, "and no one is going to stop me." "Want to bet?" Emmett asks from behind me. "Yeah," Patrick says, gritting his teeth in pain as he tries to get to his feet, "I'm leaving." His face is almost as pale as mine is from pain. "Why?" I ask. He turns to look at me. "You don't want to kill me, so I'm eliminating the temptation." "You're…breaking up with me?" I ask. "Not like we were mates Alice," he says evenly, "I'm just a face that will pass through your existence." I turn to Edward.

His face is crumpled in pain from whatever Patrick is thinking. "Patrick, you and Alice are going to talk about this," Bella says from beside me, "and that's that." Patrick rolls his eyes. "You may can make me stay here," he says evenly, "but you can't make me talk." "Want to bet?" Emmett asks once again. "Yeah," Patrick answers this time, "how much you willing to lose?" I fight the urge to get between them. I know Emmett's threat of bodily harm is empty, but Patrick is stubborn enough I would be afraid if it wasn't.

"Why don't you have something to eat and you two can talk afterwards?" Esme say sweetly. Patrick rolls his eyes in response. "It will delay the conversation," Bella says, grinning at Pat. "Fine," he relents, "but I'd much rather do this at home." Esme gives him her hand and helps him off the couch. I can see him wince as he stands and I want so badly to comfort him. "You and me…outside," I whisper to Edward. He nods and we take off as soon as Patrick and Esme disappear into the kitchen.

Bella follows. "What's going on?" I whisper fiercely. Edward purses his lips, deep in thought for a moment. "Are you staying?" he asks. "Answer the question Edward," I snarl. "Answer mine," he fires back, keeping his composure, "Are you staying?" I exhale and nod. "We had a decision to make," Edward goes on, ignoring my question, "handle Pat and get him to convince you or handle you and get him to convince Pat." He exhales slowly. "We've been trying to convince him for several days with no luck…the boy is his own category of stubborn…so we decided to work on you…knowing regardless of his anger, he wouldn't let you leave. Obviously we didn't know you were going to do more than run away."

"So what's wrong?" I ask. "You're not the only one who doesn't think they're good enough," Edward says simply. Huh? "Pat believes he's not good enough for you," Edward continues, "that being a human, he could never be." "But he's wrong," I stammer, "he's beautiful…and smart…and selfless…" "And a 'pitiful human' as I use to think when I was seeing Edward," Bella interjected, "I don't need Edward's gift to know what he's thinking…because I've thought it."

I turn to look at her. She sighs. "Patrick's not angry you lost control," Bella explains, "he's angry with himself. Angry because he feels like he's your 'pet'. He's thought that for a long time." I gawk at her. "What does he want?" I ask. "For you to be happy," Bella replies simply. "He makes me happy," I fire back. Bella and Edward roll their eyes at the exact same time. "We know that Alice," Edward says, trying to soothe me, "but the boy is going to have to understand he's more powerful than he thinks."

"Powerful?" I ask. Edward smirks. "That 'pitiful human' did something no vampire could do," he explains, "he brought back our sister. We couldn't do it and we know you better than anyone." I sigh. "That's why he let me go so easily," I comment. Bella nods. "To him, it doesn't make sense for you to love him," she says quickly, "the same reason I let Edward go after Jasper attacked me." Edward's face twist in agony. "I know now that Edward loves me regardless," she says, drawing him into her arms, "I knew that the moment I woke up in his arms after we got back from Italy." She gives me a thoughtful look. "Now YOU have to make him believe that." I nod. Yes…I do.

I return to the living room. Carlisle and Esme are there. "Emmett took him up to his room," Carlisle says quickly, "against his wishes I might add." I nod. "It was kind of funny," Carlisle adds, "as angry as he is, he wouldn't tell Esme 'go fuck yourself' like he did me." Bella snort, fighting back a laugh. "He ate two plates of ravioli," Esme says tenderly, "and took the pain medication Carlisle ask him to."

Emmett comes downstairs at this point. "He's about to get in the shower now," he says, jerking his thumb up the stairs. "He ok?" Bella ask. Emmett shrugs. "He didn't laugh at any of my jokes if that's what you're asking," Emmett replies, "and those scars…" He shudders, then continues, "His shoulder looks like Emily Uley's face." I wince at the comparison, remembering Sam's imprint.

"Let him get out of the shower and go talk to him," Edward says softly. I nod. "And if you ever think about leaving again," Emmett says, an edge in his voice, "I'll tear your legs off so you can't run." I nod again. "We're serious Alice," Esme says, coming over to soothe me, "we almost lost you AND Patrick." "How did you know I was leaving?" I ask. "Because history was repeating itself," Edward replies gravely, "just like Bella and I." "Go talk to him," Bella soothes, "we need _our_ family whole again." I smile weakly at her…then bound up the stairs.

I'm standing in the corner of the room when Patrick comes out of the bathroom in a pair of cut-off sweats. He's shirtless and I can't help but marvel at his back, the muscles barely visible through the skin. Magnificent. He turns around and I wince. The four long claw marks run from above his collarbone down his chest, accented by heavy surgical thread holding them closed. I could kill that werewolf again for this…scaring my beautiful Patrick. If he notices me, he doesn't show it.

He gathers some supplies from the dresser and sits on the edge of the bed. I see him gently place a large wound dressing over the site with his good right hand and freeze…obviously trying to figure out how he's going to secure it. "Can I help?" I ask, trying to keep my voice cheery. He doesn't flinch at the sound of my voice. "I should've known I wasn't by myself," he says, a little sad. I don't respond. "Yeah," he says finally, "can't do this one-handed." "Lie back," I order.

He doesn't lie back, but he does sit on the bed leaned against the headboard with his legs straight out. I grab the gauze and tape and move to him, straddling his legs. I can't help it…I have to be close to him. "Is this necessary?" he ask, fighting to keep his voice even. "It is for me," I say with a shrug, concentrating on what I'm doing. He doesn't respond, though he doesn't fight me.

"Are you going to talk to me?" I ask, finishing my bandaging job. He shrugs, not meeting my gaze. "I'm sorry for losing control," I whisper, "and I'm sorry for not being there in the hospital with you." He still doesn't speak. "Patrick, I know what's going on," I continue, keeping my voice low, "and you're wrong…you're exactly what I need." This earns me an eye roll. "I'm serious," I reply, my voice a little more firm and I grasp his chin gently and turn him to look at me. His eyes are hurt and I want to sob all over again.

"I don't need your remorse," he says finally, "I know what I am." "I know what you are too," I reply quickly, putting my arms around his neck, "perfect for me." Another eye roll. "You don't see yourself very clearly," I remark. "And you do?" he snaps back. "I see you just fine," I answer. "But do you see _yourself_ clearly?" he ask. "Probably not," I admit, "proof we need each other to see the other one." He snorts at this. "You're going to be mad for a while aren't you?" I ask. "Yep," he replies slowly. I smile. "No you won't…I won't let you," I reply with a grin.

He tenses up at this. "The human can't be mad if he wants?" he ask, his voice tensing. "_Patrick_ can try," I answer, "but let's quit with this 'the human' thing." "Why?" he ask, "it _is _what I am." "Is that what this is about?" I ask, "You want to be a vampire?" The question pulls him up short.

"No," he says finally. I don't believe him. "Why not?" I ask. He glares at me. "Do YOU want me to be a vampire?" he asks. "You're not going to turn this around on me," I snap back. He glares. "Why not?" he continues, "I wouldn't be so damn breakable if I was. You could treat me like an equal…" "You ARE my equal," I interrupt. He glares at me. "Do YOU have to worry about me killing you?" he asks. That answer stops me short. "Exactly," he replies, "you're not the one in danger." "I thought you weren't worried about that," I fire back. He shakes his head. "I'm not," he replies. I keep looking at him, waiting on him to finish. "The only thing I would regret about if you killed me," he says softly, his eyes dropping, "is if I did something to push you to do it." I lean my forehead against his. "You're trying to dazzle me," he mumbles.

I smile. "I'm trying to make you see you are important to me," I whisper. "Most people's pets are," he mumbles back. I scowl, then place a tender kiss on his mouth. "You're not my pet Patrick," I whisper, "you are simply mine." He doesn't respond. "I'm serious," I continue, "I only wanted to leave to keep you safe." "You shouldn't have to," he stresses. "You shouldn't have to keep our secret," I reply softly, "but you do." I smile. "You're mine Patrick," I reiterate. "Yeah," he says harshly, "but are you _mine_?"

That stops me short. "Of course Pat," I reply quickly, "it doesn't work if I wasn't." "I was yours before I claimed you as mine." He looks at me thoughtfully. "If you were mine," he says slowly, "you wouldn't kill me." I stare at him. "How do you figure?" I ask. "If I'm simply yours," he explains, "you could do anything you wanted…even drink my blood. If we were equal…if you were also mine…" he lets it drop.

I understand. It's always been me making him 'mine'…never me being 'his'. Because of what I am…my strength and my thirst…I've been the dominant force in this relationship. It sounds weird when you voice it, but it's true. I've been the huntress…the pursuer…the aggressor. Patrick has submitted to my will, ignoring his instincts so that we could be together. "Let me up," he says firmly.

I sigh and comply as he slowly maneuvers to the edge of the bed and stand. He then turns and takes my hand, pulling me up. I don't resist. He puts his hands on my waist and lifts me up, turning so that I'm against the wall. I'm breathing heavily, unsure what's going on in his mind. He takes my wrist in his good right hand and lifts it over my head. He releases it and grabs my other wrist, putting it against the other one.

"I wouldn't be yours if I didn't choose to," he says firmly, "just as you wouldn't be mine." He then leans his head down to kiss me softly on the mouth. I comply, savoring his taste. I start to lower my hands but I feel his pushing against them and I relent. He breaks the kiss. "Mine," he says softly, hesitantly. I swallow and nod. He doesn't smell like Patrick, but he still smells human. "Yours," I whisper. He kisses me more forcefully, crushing my tiny frame between his and the wall. I submit, savoring his warmth and his taste. By his own sheer will he has me prisoner and I have no desire to escape.

He breaks off the kiss and lets his lips travel down my jaw to my neck. "Yours," I whisper again as he releases my hands. I wrap my arms around his neck and stretch up on my toes, giving him better access. He bends his knees and wraps his good arm around my bottom, picking me up. I wrap my legs around his waist as he pushes me harder against the wall. I know as weak as he is, he's having trouble holding even my tiny body up with one arm. His mouth moves faster against the tender flesh of my neck. "Yours," I purr in his ear, surprised my blood lust is completely control. He grips my ass tightly. "Yours," he agrees, out of breath as he staggers to the bed. He sits me on the bed and I release him.

"Your eyes are black," he says softly. I nod. That was intense. I have no idea how I kept from killing him. I shouldn't have been able to control myself, yet I did. "You need to take a nap," I whisper, "You're dead on your feet." He nods. "Get some rest and I'll be back before you wake up," I say softly, taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. He nods. "Promise?" he asks softly. I smile at him. "Promise," I reply, leaning forward to give him a gentle peck on the lips. He smiles. "I'll hold you to it," he whispers, stretching out on the bed. I toss a blanket over him and blow him a kiss as I leave the room.

Bella and Edward are waiting downstairs, both with smirks on their faces. "Hunt?" Bella ask. I nod, my breathing just now getting under control. We leave in a single file line, Bella leading the way. How did I do that? He purposely triggered my instincts and I submitted instead of attacking. "You subconscious finally sorted itself out," Edward explains to my thought, "it's like…something clicked…and your desire for _him_ has eclipsed your desire for his blood." I don't respond. "Now your problem is going to be controlling your strength," he explains, "you could still hurt him if you're not careful. However, if you stay on your guard, I don't see how you couldn't get what you want…" I nod. "Nice isn't it?" Bella ask me, turning her head to wink. I smile and feel like I'm going to blush although I can't. "Continue to be cautious Alice," Edward warns as we turn towards the east. I nod.

I take down a grizzly as soon as the scent hits my nose, drinking deeply. Edward and Bella go off on there own. I sit down at the base of a tree and lean comfortably back. I exhale deeply taking in the air around me. A sense of foreboding comes over me. We joke about the parallels between mine and Patrick's relationship as it compares to Edward and Bella when she was human. What if that werewolf had a mate? Do werewolves have mates? I honestly don't know. Or even worse…a _pack_. That was the first werewolf I've met since…well since the beginning of my memories. I don't know if werewolves have mates or packs.

The thought angers me. My mortal enemy hunted my mate and that pisses me off. Mate…where did that come from? Is Patrick my mate? We're not married…but then again, neither are most vampires. I need to ask Edward, when was Bella officially his mate. Or maybe when did Bella consider herself that to him?

"Personal decision," Edward answers for me from behind. I was so deep in my own head, I didn't even realize my siblings had returned. He turns to Bella. "She's wondering if Patrick is her mate," he explains. Bella shrugs. "Is he?" she asks. Both Edward and I shrug. "When were you my mate Edward?" Bella ask, "when we got married?" He shrugs. "Most nomadic vampires don't get married," he explains. Bella ponders. "We're not nomadic though," she comments. "The question is because he's human," Edward explains, "though it's pretty much the same…it's something you decide to be rather you get married or not." Bella nods in agreement. We stand there a moment, each pondering the question. "I wouldn't too much about it Alice," Edward says finally, "it's not that large a decision." I shake my head. It is to me. Bella's looking at me closely. "What does Patrick want?" she asks. I shrug. "Then you both can figure it out," she says happily.

We hurry back home and I peek in Pat's room. He's sleeping peacefully. I'm glad. I hurry and run through the shower, putting on some blue cotton pajamas. I take the time to blow dry my hair. I know I feel cool enough to him, my hair wet might make it worse on him.

This done I tiptoe back into his room. He's curled up on his right side, obviously trying not to injure his shoulder anymore. I curl up behind him, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling the cover up to his chin. A small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth but he doesn't stir. I rest my forehead against his bare back, slowly taking in his scent. My throat burns a little, but the burn reminds me not only is he alive…he's still with me. I hold him like this the entire night, concentrating on nothing but his even breathing.


	25. Chapter 24

(A/N Thank you to everyone that's reading, reviewing, and setting this story as an alert or a favorite. I'd like to see more reviews, but I'll take what I can get. Seriously, I walked into this with an idea and a bad case of nerves because I didn't know if my writing was good enough or if my idea would be accepted. You all have put my mind at ease. I can't say thank you enough. Keep reading...keep reviewing...and remember I'm here if you have questions/comment/ideas. I'm also working on a sequel to this story as well a a couple more that I'll post if I get a good response to this one once it's finished. I've got a good idea for Bree...an _excellent_ idea for Leah...and I'm trying to come up with something for Jane (I really think that girl could use some love...straighten her out a little bit). I've also considered a story similiar to this for Rosaline but I can't come up with a decent plot. I'm trying to think outside the box as far as stories go. Also...in case I forgot...there's a Q/A on my profile for this story that explains where I got some of the ideas and why I went the route I did with them. If you have anything you'd like to see added, feel free to PM me. Anyway thanks once again and let's get back to the story!!)

**Nope, don't own Twilight.**

CHAPTER 24-ALICE'S P.O.V.

Patrick stayed with us for two weeks. He wanted to go home earlier to be with Tori, but Carlisle was concerned with his surgical site. So we brought Tori to him. It was amazing to see how much fun she had…especially with Emmett. Emmett treated her like his own baby sister, playing with her constantly. I wasn't complaining about Tori being at our house. Patrick was all mine at night. Amber came over usually with Tori, still making eyes at Emmett. If Emmett noticed, he never acted on it.

Patrick was back on the field, on limited duty of course, four days after he came home with us. Emmett and I took him to afternoon practice. He couldn't do much conditioning with the sutures and the cast on his arm, so he was excused from morning practice. Afternoons were for learning…covering game plans, going over coverage schemes, and the like.

It turns out the Bears also have a new head coach and offensive coordinator. Seems the old one had gone to Erica and tried to 'convince' her to change her story so Shawn would be cleared and reinstated. The new one, Coach Powell, was immediately on Patrick to play for him, either as a back-up quarterback or as a wide receiver. Sanchez, the sophomore Emmett had been raving on, was stepping up and would be starting. Patrick wasn't as big a fan as Emmett. "That kid needs to grow up," he murmured to me. I smiled patiently. I don't know that much about football, so I choose instead to be supportive instead of trying to voice an opinion.

Once Patrick went home, Emmett and I spent as much time as possible helping him get whatever Pops left for him as far as chores went. Pops did cut Pat some slack, though not much. Of course Pat shrugged it off, though I wished Pops would lay off the boy. That's why Emmett and I went over. Baling hay was the worst. Patrick would drive the tractor to cut the hay. Then he would "rake it" with a different attachment on the tractor that raked the hay into a long line. Then he would drive the baler around and bale the hay. I would follow in Patrick's truck and Emmett would load the bales into the bed. Once the truck was full, I would drive to the barn and Emmett and I would unload the truck. And yes…Patrick thought my overalls were 'sexy'…especially with the tiny shirt I wore under it. Pops was impressed we were done in four days, since Pat had to quit to go to practice in the afternoon.

Two weeks before school started Patrick was taken out of the cast. His shoulder still showed the evidence of his attack, though they were fading into four angry white lines. He threw himself into training, insistent on being ready by the Bear's first game. I helped him any way I could rather it was watching Tori, doing the laundry at night, or placing my cold hands wherever his body ached at night.

This lead to some unexpected intimacy. Patrick, when he fell out of the tree and landed on his feet, jammed his knee and it bothered him ever since. Some evenings it would even be swollen. We would lie face-to face and I would open my legs. He would put his knee in between my thighs and I would close them, letting my cool skin act as an ice pack while he slept. I didn't complain, I got to watch his peaceful face while he slept. Although I did have a few naughty thoughts as his warm, bare leg radiated heat up my thighs to my…BAD ALICE!

Three week before school started, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. I shrug and answer it. "Alice?" "It's Erica." "Hey," I reply sweetly, "how are you?" "Not bad," she replies, "it's tough…but I'm managing. I never got a chance to thank you family for the help…" "You're welcome Erica," I reply gently, "I just wish we would've gotten there sooner." "I know," she replies sadly.

Silence for a moment. "Anyway," she goes on, "I got your number from Amber." "The reason I'm calling is…I need some more Bear Girls…you interested?" I squeal in delight. "What number would I be wearing?" I ask, though I'm sure of the answer. "You're still dating Pat, right?" she ask. "Of course," I reply happily. "Then you'll be wearing number three," she says, "unless you'd rather not…" "No," I jump in, "I want to be Pat's Bear Girl." "Great," she replies, obviously relieved, "we'll meet Friday…I'll call you with the time." "Great!" I gush, "I'll wait for you call." We hang up and I squeal again.

We met at Erica's house. She was a tough girl, obviously smiling through the pain. She was intent on living despite Shawn. We planned out an outfit we would wear to school on game days and getting the necessary sponsors to provide breakfast for the boys. We went over the schedule and discussed ideas for signs to put up. I had one in particular for Patrick, but I kept it to myself. I love surprises! Erica pulled out her bead kit and I made Pat a choker out of the school colors for him to wear.

This done I went to watch practice. Amber had Tori, so I was clear till I saw him this evening. I watch from the sidelines, smiling to myself as Patrick lines up at wide receiver. They run a pass play and Sanchez overthrows the tight end by a mile. "Set you feet," Pat calls as he runs back to the huddle. "Quiet in my huddle!" Sanchez barks in reply. Pat rolls his eyes.

The next play is called and the defense lines up. "Audible!" Pat yells, "Audible!" Sanchez ignores him and runs the play. The defense collapses the pocket and the coach blows the whistle before Sanchez can be sacked. "Check to the run," Pat barks as he gets back to the huddle. Sanchez ignores him. "Every play isn't a pass play," Pat continues. Sanchez turns and shoves him. "Bad mistake puppy," Pat snarls. Whistle start blowing and the offense splits to restrain Pat and Sanchez. "You think you can do better?" Sanchez snarls. "Yeah…I can," Pat says back confidently. Both turn at look at Coach Powell. "Ok," he says with a shrug, "let's find out."

"I'll take second team," Pat says confidently. Coach Powell nods. "Your funeral punk," Sanchez sneers. "First team offense versus second team defense," the coaches yell, "if you're on the first team offense, we'll fill your slot on the defense." Pat has five first teamers. "QB calls the plays," Coach Powell barks, "start at midfield." Sanchez calls his plays and the offense lines up in the shotgun.

First down, Sanchez tries to hit his receiver over the middle and Pat bats it away. Second down, a screen play gets three yards. Third down, another pass. Sanchez overthrows his receiver who was double covered anyway. "We're going!" Sanchez barks. Pat calls a safety blitz and plants Sanchez nine yards behind the line. "Damn shame ain't it coach," Pat calls to Coach Powell. Coach Brooks is grinning like a new father.

Patrick has to face most of his defense as he lines up under center. He has a starter at running back and at center. That's all he needs. First down, he hit's the tight end over the middle for five yards. Second down, a quick handoff to the fullback for three more. Quarterback sneak on third down moves the chains. Toss sweep right gets them another first down. Pat lines up again, sends the flanker in motion, and hits him up the seam for 15 yards and another first down. A draw play earns another 5. On second down, Pat bootlegs, keeps the ball, and scrambles for eight and another first down. Sanchez is livid playing Pat's safety position. Fullback up the middle gets them to the twelve-yard line. Pat lines up in shotgun, takes it himself, and scrambles to the seven. Second down, Pat hit's the tight end over the middle again for a touchdown.

I can't help but grin. Watching Pat move on the field, obviously in control, made me swell with pride. _He's mine_! I think. The impromptu scrimmage ends and Sanchez and Pat are talking…animated, but it doesn't look like they're about to come to blows. I listen closer. "You got a lot to learn Pup," Pat says evenly, "yeah…it's your offense…but you're suppose to win the game, not look good." Sanchez's jaw is clenched tight.

"It's business," Pat continues, "you want to play at the next level, you don't throw every down. You prove you can move the ball…control the tempo of the game…and the scouts will beat down the door to get to you. A state championship ring doesn't hurt either." Sanchez nods. "These guys respect me because I've earned it…not because I was given the position." "So what do I do?" Sanchez ask in low but accented English. "Listen to the ones that know what's going on," Pat replies. "We don't expect you to know it all. As long as you don't _lose_ the game for us, the defense will win it for you." Sanchez shrugs. "You're gonna be alright," Pat say softly, "just quit trying to do too much." Pat slaps him on the shoulder pad and they jog back to the team.

I watch the rest of practice, a stupid grin on my face. Patrick gets back on defense and I can't stop staring. He's all over the field...happy, free, and glad to be back in pads. He stops occasionally to give Sanchez some pointers, which are taken much better now. I can see now why Emmett was raving on Sanchez…he can at least hit an open receiver. The defense looks even better than I remember them. I see Will and Pat standing on the sideline, their back to me, and I can't get over how they look familiar. Like Emmett and Jasper. I smile at that. I can finally remember Jasper without my heart threatening to tear itself out of my chest.

After they break from practice I go to hunt. Two elk and I'm full. I make it home right after dark and go shower. I throw on my usual: cotton shorts and a t-shirt. Same thing I wear to bed with Pat in the summer. I wear the warmer stuff in the winter…so he won't get too chilled. Not that he complains regardless. I hum happily as I dry my hair and pull it up. I throw Esme a wave as I run the short distance to Pat's house.

Pat is of course waiting for me, moving to the window as soon as he hears it open. He pulls me close to him, giving me a nice, long kiss. I can't help but smile in response. Yes, my throat still burns…but now it means something different. It means two things: that he's alive and I want him. I wrap my arms around him, mindful of my strength, and he pulls me closer to him. We shuffle to the bed, never breaking contact, and Pat eases me onto my back, lying on top of me. I wiggle under him, purring.

Damn I want him. He shifts on top of me, pulling a leg around his waist as his mouth goes to my neck. His neck is next to my mouth, but it doesn't increase my thirst. I pant in his ear as my fingers delve into his hair. I feel him harden against me and I gasp. "Easy Pat," I whisper, "don't push." He groans but complies, moving to lie beside me. "Sorry," he gasps, "but you're just…amazing." I smile shyly.

"How's the knee?" I ask. He looks down. It's swollen slightly. "Here," I say, opening my knees so he can slide it in place. He complies and I give his knee a gentle squeeze with my thighs. "It feels…odd, for lack of a better word," he says thoughtfully. I give him a puzzled look. "You feel cool to me," he says, moving my hair out of my face, "except where my leg is. The closer I get to your…well, you know…the warmer I feel." I smile at this. "You like?" I ask. He shrugs. "I'm looking forward to finding out," he says shyly. "Soon," I promise. "No waiting till marriage?" he asks. I giggle. "That a proposal?" I ask. He shakes his head but replies, "Not yet…" I touch his cheek. "Anymore thought about joining my family?" I ask.

He exhales a large breath. "If it's the only way," he replies, "I'd do it tonight." "But it's not," I say softly, prompting. He nods. "I don't know Alice," he finally adds, "if I can have you and stay human…for my family…I feel like that's what I should do." I give him a gentle smile. "Nobody is pressuring you Pat," I say gently, continuing to stroke his cheek, "I just want you to know the option is available." He nods.

"I do need an answer for something else," I say, biting my bottom lip. He nods. "Go on," he prods. "If your life was in danger," I reply, "and there was _absolutely_ no way you could be saved…would you want us to change you? Or let you pass?" He thinks about it for less than a second. "Change me," he says firmly, "I can't be with you if you're dead."

I stop smiling. "Patrick, I don't want you to suffer because of me," I reply softly. He gives me a small smile and shakes his head. "I'm sure I'm going to be one of your kind one day," he says absently, "I just would rather it be planned. That way I Pops, Mom, Amber, and Tori are taken care of." "What do you mean?" I ask.

He rolls onto his back, sliding his knee out from between my legs and exhales again. "I don't want Tori to have what's most likely her destiny," Patrick explains, "marrying some guy like Pops and having to claw out a living here. I want her to be able to do whatever she wants to. That's why I work so hard now…so maybe she won't have to." I smile at him. "Patrick," I reply, "is that why you play with absolutely no fear?" "Because you don't want Tori to end up like your mom?" His mouth sets in a tight line. "That's part of it," he admits.

We're quiet for a several minutes. "Know why I play with no fear?" he asks. I shake my head. "Because I don't have any," he replies. I turn to look at him. "When you're eleven years old…and your dad comes home drunk and tries to kill your mom with a hammer…and you're the one standing between her and him…fourth and inches just doesn't look all that scary." I touch his arm, feeling my bottom lip beginning to tremble.

"You know why I don't think you're a monster Alice?" he ask. I cock my head to ask the silent question. "Because I've seen a real monster," he says harshly, "and I can guarantee you something…you ain't one." I don't respond. He stares up at the ceiling. "Mom swears she married my dad simply to get out of here," he says to the ceiling, "and I don't want Tori to have to do that." "She won't Pat," I whisper, turning over on my stomach to look at him, "I'll make sure of it if you don't." He smiles at me. "I love you Alice," he says softly. I smile. "I love you Pat," I reply.

"Seriously," he says as if I didn't say anything, "I never thought I'd find someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with…especially not this young. I wasn't even trying when you came along." I touch my finger for his lips. "You give me just as much as I give you," I tell him, "please don't forget that." He sighs and nods. "So," he says, changing the subject, "do chicks dig scars?" I grin impishly at that. "This one does," I reply with a wink, my smile widening when he winks back.

"Oh," I think quickly, "I'm going to be your Bear Girl!" He smiles at this. "Great," he says quickly, "I'll have the cutest Bear Girl on the team." I roll my eyes at this. "Don't give me that shit," he says firmly, "I will." "If you say so," I say absently. "Alice," he says, placing a hand on my hip, "you are beautiful…the most beautiful girl I know. Trust me, ok?" I nod, then smile. "I just don't know what you see in me," he says absently. "I do," I reply, "want to hear my families theory?" He shrugs, then nods.

"Remember me telling you Bella was Edward's singer?" I ask. He nods again. "Edward thinks that fate made Bella his singer to get his attention…otherwise he wouldn't have paid her any attention." Patrick nods. "Her scent…just like yours…got our attention…but what we do with that is up to us." I frown. "Emmett drank his…who knows what could've happened if he hadn't." "Seems dangerous," Patrick comments. "It is," I reply, "but so worth it." He smiles at that. I raise up, lean over him, and kiss his lips. I love these lips. So warm, so soft…so human. I inch myself closer to him, finally hovering over him. I break it off before it can get anymore serious.

"Can I ask you something?" Pat asks. I nod. "I notice Edward every time he mentions his and Bella's human relationship that they weren't so…physical," he says slowly, "why?" I smile. "Edward had never been with a woman," I explain, "he didn't know if he could trust himself not to hurt Bella." Patrick looks thoughtful at this. "And you…since you're been married…know what to expect?" he ask. I nod as I gaze down at him.

Patrick is obviously uncomfortable. "What's wrong Pat?" I ask gently. He shakes his head. "Nothing really," he admits, "I was more worried about making you uncomfortable asking." I smile. "Most women don't like to discuss there past sex life," he explains, still clearly uncomfortable. "I was _married_," I clarify, "it's not like you don't know I made love to my husband." He nods. "Does it bother you?" I ask. He shakes his head. "I would be more worried if you hadn't," he says. I laugh in response. I kiss his forehead. "Get some sleep sweetie," I whisper. He nods and yawns. "Don't let Pops catch you," he mumbles. I giggle then kiss him again. He rolls back towards me, puts his knee back between my thighs, and falls quickly asleep.


	26. Chapter 25

**Still don't own Twilight.**

CHAPTER 25-ALICE'S P.O.V.

I was actually excited my first day of school. I was going to actually get the full high school experience. I had class of course, was part of a club, and was dating someone on the football team. I was honestly giddy as I got ready. Amber and I had shopped for school supplies and school clothes. Pat was healing nicely, though he was working himself to death to get ready for the first game of the season. Things were good…no great!

I wore a green sundress the first day with matching ballet flats. Patrick met me in the school parking lot after dropping Tori off. He was dressed simply as usual: jeans and a red polo shirt untucked. Still mouthwatering…but in a good way. "Morning," he says softly with a smile. I didn't speak. I skip up to him instead, crush my body against him, stood on my tiptoes, and give him a long, deep kiss. He responds eagerly, ignoring the catcalls from the other students.

"Morning," I say with a smile when I finally release his lips. He chuckles softly. "Looks like we have four classes together," he says, his heart beating erratically. I giggle. "I couldn't get PE with you," I pout. He smiles and throws his arm around my shoulder. "Ready?" he asks. I nod. "Behave yourself Alice," Edward calls from behind us. "I'll have her home early, Dad," Pat calls, not turning around. Emmett's booming laugh follows up into the school.

The whispering has already started. I'm not surprised…not many high school relationships survive summer break. Patrick ignores it, of course. Will throws us a wave as we pass in the halls. "Hope you have some classes with him," Pat whispers. I reach up and squeeze the hand on my shoulder. I'm the vampire and he's worried about protecting me. We get Trig first and I hear Pat mumbling under his breath. "Math's bad enough," he grumbles, "Math first period…brutal." I pat his arm. "We'll get through it," I promise. I get the seat in front of Pat. Bella and Amber have this class with us. Amber echoes Pat's sentiment about morning math classes. Poor humans and their need to sleep.

Next period is English…another class with Pat. We get our reading list. Pat is in front of me this time and I doodle on my notebook and sigh happily as his scent tickles my throat. I was afraid that when his scent returned so would my thirst but it hasn't been the case. The burn is still there of course but nothing I can't handle. Third period is with Pat again and luckily we get to sit across from each other. I notice him looking at me every time I cross or uncross my legs and I give him a mischievous grin. He winks back. I do this for the entire period. BAD ALICE!

We separate next period. Pat's Coach Brook's teachers assistant, which basically means he runs errands, does the roll call, and goofs off. I listen to the gossip out of habit just in case my family is mentioned. Pat and I are mentioned of course. Sanchez as the new quarterback is mentioned. Huh, here's an interesting tidbit: not only do we have a new offensive coordinator we have a new band director…Mrs. Powell. Yes, Coach Powell is married to the new band director. Seems she's pretty pro-football, not just the halftime show. I dig through my bag, finding a copy of the student newspaper, reading about Mrs. Powell.

"_I think the band at a football game should be the driving force in getting the crowd involved," she says. "Go to any large college and you'll see this…Oklahoma State when the band plays 'Never Been to Spain'…Tennessee playing 'Rocky Top'…the Longhorns playing 'Yellow Rose of Texas'… or the Crimson Tide playing 'Sweet Home Alabama'." "It's almost magic, watching and listening to the crowd sing along and the cheers that echo through the stadium afterwards. We will continue to put on a superior halftime show and we'll continue to win competitions. However, without Bears football, there's no Bears band…and the better the team does, the better we do."_

I smile at that. I wonder if she's open to suggestions? I look to my right as I put the paper back into my bag. Hey, there's Nick. I wave and he gives me a warm smile. He remembers me! He's got an instrument case next to him, but I'm sure it's too small to be bagpipes. Saxophone? The teacher steps out of the room and I turn to him. "How's it going?" I ask. He smiles. "Not bad," he replies shyly. "The new band director ok?" I ask. He nods. "She's different," he admits, "she wants us to play more 'fight songs'…stuff to get the fans more into it." I grin and nod. "Have you ever thought about using your bagpipes?" I ask. He gives me a funny look. "_Scotland The Brave_ probably doesn't count," he replies evenly. I giggle. "There's got to be something," I reply. He shrugs. "Not that I know,' he says as the teacher comes back into the room. I ponder this as the teacher drones on. I need to talk to Edward…if anyone could point me to a song, he could.

Pat and I fall into our old routine during lunch. We buy the exact same thing for lunch, then sit with my family and Amber. Patrick begins eating as I chat with Amber. He gets about halfway finished, Amber turns her head, and I swap our trays quickly…his fork still moving towards him mouth. His mouth twitches in a grin, but other than that he appears as if nothing has happened. Now it at least _looks_ like I ate something. Edward and Bella snicker at our charade. I have no idea why…unlike them it looks like I actually ate something.

I start thinking about Nick again wondering if there was something. "Let me talk to Mrs. Powell," Edward says to my thought, "I bet I can think of something." I throw him a wink. Edward and Emmett begin talking about Nick and his bagpipes and Pat puts his hand on my bare knee. I smile and lean my head on his shoulder. "We're away the first game of the season," Amber comments. "I saw," Pat says, "they finished below .500 last year though…we stick to the plan, we'll be ok." I smile softly. "What are you smiling about?" Patrick asks, leaning over to whisper in my ear. "I'm comfortable," I whisper back simply.

The rest of the day goes by without any problems and I go home while Pat goes to practice. Emmett, Bella, and Edward go to hunt and I check our finances. We're looking better. I take my time, writing down notes on when to sell what stocks for maximum profit then check my visions to make a few more purchases. I take my time, in no hurry since Pat isn't home.

I'd like to go watch practice but I noticed none of the other girls do. We didn't want me to appear stalker-ish. I hear a cell ring in the house. "She's here Pat, I'll get her," Esme says, walking into the room. "I see," she says frowning. "Yes, of course I'll tell her sweetie. You sure you don't want to talk to her?" "Of course Pat, I'll tell her." "Bye." She hangs up her phone. "Patrick wanted me to ask if you would bring your laptop and wireless card to his house tonight." "Sure," I reply, signing off. She's still frowning.

"What is it Esme?" I ask. "He didn't want to speak to you," she replies. I shrug. "He probably had to borrow someone's cell," I explain, "you know he doesn't have one." She shakes his head. "He sounded…off." I give her a puzzled look. "He was as polite as always," she explains, "but he sounded…distracted. Like something is wrong." I think about this. "Maybe he has an assignment he needs it for?" she ask. "If he did…he didn't mention it," I reply. She shrugs. "You two aren't fighting, are you?" she ask. I shake my head. "Everything's great," I respond, unable to hide my smile. She smiles back. "It's probably nothing then," she replies absently, "you know how I worry." I glance out the window. It's just beginning to get dark. This makes me smile…it means it's closer to time to visit Patrick.

Bella, Edward, and Emmett come barreling through the door, interrupting me before I can think further. "We've got trouble," Edward says, his mouth set in a tight line, "we picked up the scent of another werewolf." I gasp and leap to my feet. "Patrick is safe Alice," Bella says quickly, "we followed the scent all the way to the Canadian Border." That doesn't soothe me. "What's a werewolf doing here?" Esme gasp, moving to stand behind me and place a hand on each of my shoulders. "We don't know," Edward replies grimly. "Just one?" I ask. All three heads nod.

"You don't think the one we killed has a mate?" Emmett asks. "We don't know Emmett," Bella replies, "for all we know it was just passing through." "Bullshit," I snarl, "it's too much of a coincidence." "I agree," Edward replies quickly, "and even if I didn't…it's too much of a risk…for everyone." I nod. Of course Edward would be concerned for all of us. "What do we do?" Esme ask. "Not much we can do," Edward replies, "except protect those we love." My head snaps in Edward's direction at his words. "Go to him Alice," Edward says softly, "we will be close by if you need us." I nod, grab my backpack, and hurry out the door.

Tori's not even in bed yet when I arrive at Pat's house. I stay out of sight, running the boundaries of the property. I don't pick up anything out of the ordinary, which gives me a momentary sigh of relief. I call Edward and report that. "Alice, we immediately scouted his property when we picked up the trail," Edward says patiently. I grumble. "We'll be close," he reiterates. "But not _too_ close," I hear Bella say in the background along with Emmett's booming laugh. "Thanks," I mumble into the phone before hanging up. I finish my circle and kneel in the brush, just listening.

Pat's dimmed the house lights, but I want to give Tori a chance to get to sleep. Ten minutes pass…then fifteen. I hear the backdoor open and I strain, ready to pounce. I hear a muted 'THUD' and a pause, followed by two more of the same sound. Another quick pause and a rapid-fire succession of the same noise. I stick to the tree line and make my way silently around to the back of the house.

Patrick is under the 'tractor shed' which is just a roof held up by large poles to protect farm equipment from the elements. No walls. He has a heavy bag hung up on the side nearest the house, just an old army duffel bag filled with sand. He's wearing the jeans and boots he wore to school…no shirt. On his hands are a pair of dark brown leather work gloves. He circles around the bag, throwing three or four punch combinations at the bag, his back to me. I inhale sharply and hold my breath. I love watching him move. He throws a long flurry of punches into the middle of the bag, the part wrapped in duct tape. He continues to circle to his left, leading with a jab then coming over with a hard right.

Seeing this, I can believe he broke Shawn's nose and cheekbone…he's obviously comfortable as he bounces on the balls of his feet to throw another combination. He gets on the other side of the bag and I stop to wonder. What's he doing out here? I've seen him do this before, as part of his conditioning, but never this late at night. Especially after practice, he's usually pretty tired.

His face comes into view from around the bag. His eyes are hard, narrowed as he engages the bag again. He throws another combination…the longest one yet…and stops, leaning his forehead against the bag. He's panting heavily and has a light sheen of sweat in the muggy evening air. He grunts in what sounds like frustration and bounces back from the bag, resuming his attack. I catch his eyes again. Hurt. Something's wrong.

I look around quickly to make sure we're alone, then step out of hiding. Patrick's still circling the bag, still throwing punches. I don't speak, just approach silently. He gets back to where he's facing my direction and sees me out of his peripheral vision. "You're early," he says flatly. I frown. Yep…something's wrong.

He stops and yanks the gloves off his hands, tossing them on a cinder block next to a support pole. "Are you alright?" I ask softly. He walks to me, stopping just out of arms reach. "No," he says weakly, "let me get a shower…and then hold you." I look at him with sad eyes. "Please," he says even softer, "I need it right now." I don't wait, bouncing to him and wrapping my arms around his neck. "You can do that now," I whisper. "I stink," he says, though he does move to put his arms around my waist. "No you don't," I whisper, laying my head against his damp chest. He doesn't. His human scent is stronger when he sweats, but nothing I can't handle. He shivers slightly, his wet skin against my cold. "Let's get inside," I whisper, sniffing the air just in case. He releases me reluctantly and nods.

"Set your laptop up on the desk please?" Patrick asks softly as he digs him out something to sleep in. I nod and do that while he showers. I wonder what's eating him. The computer set up, I slip down the hallway and peek in on Tori. She has finally fallen asleep. There's nothing in the house that needs doing. I move back to Pat's room and sit on the edge of the bed. I hear the shower turn off and Pat step out. He sighs. I'm starting to get worried now. He finally comes back into his room wearing his boxers and a t-shirt. He doesn't speak, but sits down at the computer. "Read this," he says softly as he gets up and pulls the chair back for me. I sit down and read.

**LOCAL PLAYER HINTS AT LARGER CONSPIRACY**

_A local high school football, under investigation for receiving payment his commitment, has stated that the corruption "reaches further than you will believe"._

_"There are a handful of players being bribed to play for certain schools," says Tyrone Wiley a wide receiver at Clayton High School, "these small town golden boys all have their hands out." When asked to name names he mentioned several including Brice Todd of Elk River High School, Preston Smith of Worley High School, and Patrick Williamson of Moscow High School. All three are considered top recruits. "They're throwing money left and right to get them to commit," Mr. Wiley states._

_Phone calls to all three school's athletic department were met with "no comments" except for Moscow High School. "Patrick Williamson is one of the most honorable kids I've ever coached," says Richard Brooks, Moscow's defensive coordinator, "he's not for sale." "This kid (Wiley) got caught with his hand in the cookie jar and now he's throwing names around to cover his tail." _

_The NCAA is investigating the allegations._

My jaw dropped. "Pat," I say weakly, "have you been approached?" He shakes his head. "I'm not crooked Alice," he says, his jaw clenched. "I didn't ask that Pat," I explain, "I ask if you have been _approached_." He shakes his head again. "Coach Brooks has gotten request for my game films," he replies, "but no colleges have talked to me yet." I nod. "You're angry," I say flatly. "I'm _pissed_," Pat seethes, "because Coach Brooks is right. Wiley is being investigated and he's trying to push the heat away from himself."

I sigh. "Then you have nothing to worry about," I say gently. He huffs. "That bastard's going to have every college questioning my integrity," he spits, "and we got Clayton in week four." "So?" I ask. "So," Patrick snarls, "I'm going to hand him his ass." I move to sit beside him, but instead kneel on the bed and wrap my arms around him. He leans heavily onto me. He looks ready to crack. I get it.

Football is Patrick and Tori's ticket. As I've mentioned before, Patrick playing football means he can either make it into the NFL or get a degree he couldn't afford any other way. Either way, their future is as secure as he can make it. This means Tori can literally do _anything_ she wants. Go to college anywhere. Study abroad even. When she gets old enough to drive, Patrick can buy her a car. She wants to buy a house, Patrick can provide. Their dad is in prison and their granddad could either be dead or in a nursing home by the time she gets married. Patrick can give her the wedding of her dreams. The point, from Patrick's point of view, is she doesn't have to _settle_ for anything.

I release him and scoot back, leaning against the headboard. "Come here," I tell him softly. He does, though not how I expected. Instead of sitting beside me, he stretches out and lays his head in my lap. I'm surprised…but not disappointed. I stroke his hair and let him find comfort. Someone hurts me…I sob. Someone hurts Pat, he gets mad. Jasper was the same way. He won't cry…I know this. Too much old-fashioned upbringing. So I continue to soothe him and let him pull himself together. We lay this way for several hours, until he falls asleep. I stretch and grab the blanket to cover with him, not disturbing him. I smile, glad a look of peace has crossed his features.

I snap out of my daze when I hear a heartbeat down the hall quicken. Tori's having a nightmare. She gasps and I hear her covers rustle. She sat up in bed. I shift, putting a pillow where my leg was under Patrick and slip into the bathroom as I hear her little feet patting down the hall.

"Pat!" she squeals, "Pat!" He wakes with a start, confusion marring his once peaceful features. "Bad dream?" he mumbles. She crawls onto the bed and leaps into his arms, hugging him fiercely. "Want to stay with me?" he ask. She nods. He wipes her eyes. "Come on," he says with a yawn, giving the room a once over. She turns away from him, snuggling against his chest. He leans over, moving her hair behind her ear and kissing her cheek. "Night sweetie," he mumbles. I wait for several minutes, till her breathing regulates. I then slip onto the other side of the bed, wrapping my arm around Pat and pressing against his back. I stay in this position, smiling to myself, until I hear Pops truck a few miles away. I kiss them both on the cheek before slipping out of the window.


	27. Chapter 26

**Don't own Twilight and am too tired to think of something witty to put here to tell you I don't own Twilight.**

CHAPTER 26-ALICE'S P.O.V.

The entire school is in an uproar the next day after hearing the news. Patrick is unapproachable for the majority of students. He doesn't say anything, but the look on his face screams _don't fuck with me_. The entire team rallies around him, not that I'm surprised. While no one else was mentioned, its obvious Will is uncomfortable. He has dreams of signing with a big college too. The coaches have ordered the team not to discuss, though that only seems to feed the rumors. Besides family, Amber, and me Patrick doesn't speak with anyone outside the team.

Emmett, Edward, and Bella have made friends with Mrs. Powell. They're throwing her ideas she _loves_. It seems Mrs. Powell isn't into modern music, which puts her on par with most band directors. She is, however, a big rock fan from her younger days and she wants to put as much of that as she can. It seems she's as angry about the situation as her husband and is planning something in response. I check my visions hearing this…oh, that's a GOOD idea. I'm going to help it along.

The athletic department released a statement denying any player's involvement in anything illegal and promised to cooperate with any investigation. Patrick actually snorted at this. "I don't have a computer," he explains, "I don't have a cell phone." "Besides my house phone, I have nothing to investigate. It'll take them 5 minutes." I held him every night. He was in pain. Not just the agony in his mind, physical pain. I find out from Will he's killing himself in practice, throwing his body around. "That's what he does," Will explained to me, "something's on his mind…he works his frustration out on the field." I wince.

Finding out about the werewolf didn't help his mood. My family kept a vigil around Pat's house making sure that Pat, Amber, and Tori were always covered. Tori had three more nightmares the first two weeks of school, though she couldn't remember them. She slept with Pat and I those nights. I didn't mind sharing him. It was cute: my chest pressed against his back while his chest was pressed against Tori's back. Pat's only complaint was he couldn't put his knee between my legs to ice them down. We found no new scents, though Carlisle wasn't surprised. "They only change during the full moon," he explained. This pissed both Patrick and I off royally.

The follow-up story the following week of course said that the NCAA and the state athletic association were still investigating but that no evidence had been discovered. A local reporter asked Patrick after practice for a quote. "I'm not for sale," he muttered quietly, never breaking stride as he left the field for the locker room. He was quiet and subdued at night, holding me but not pushing the action. Not that I was. The werewolf scent was looming in the back of my thoughts at all times. Patrick had made it a point to say something. "Don't start thinking this is your fault," he said sternly, "if it wasn't for you that thing would've eaten me. It's because of you and your family I'm alive."

By the end of the week, I wasn't seeing Pat until first period. He was getting to school early and straight to Coach Brook's office to study game film. At first I was concerned. I thought he didn't want to see me. "He's doing what Carlisle does when he has something on his mind," Edward explained, "throwing himself into his work. I assure you Alice…it's not you." "Is there something we can do?" I ask. Edward shook his head. "If he were guilty, we could try to cover it up," he said absently, "but I've seen into Patrick's mind…he's done nothing wrong. Therefore, he has nothing to worry about." That didn't help. I was still worried…simply because Patrick was. He was wearing that heavy bag behind his house out most evenings.

By the start of the third week of school, we were all in a routine. My family was still keeping an eye on Patrick and his family. I was doing Bear Girl stuff. Patrick was still at practice. I kept him occupied in the evenings, mainly getting him to study. Focus was definitely an issue. "Know what pisses me off," he growled over our Trig homework, "if I was dirty I wouldn't be worried about passing this…it would be taken care of." I pat his knee. "You're going to be cleared," I promise. He rolls his eyes at this. "I know," he says with a sigh, "because I'm innocent. It hasn't stopped anyone from dragging my name through the mud." He's sitting on the bed and I'm stretched out on my stomach. I shift and lay my head on his leg. He immediately begins stroking my hair.

"Thanks Alice," he whispers, "I know this isn't a big deal in the immortal world…" I cut him off. "It's a big deal to ME," I say firmly, "and to my family." He sighs, continuing to run his fingers through my ink black hair. "What are you going to do when I graduate?" he ask. "I'm coming with you," I reply quickly, "if you'll have me." I turn to look up at him. "What about your family?" he asks. I look up and shake my head. "We didn't plan on staying here too long," I explain, "more sun than we'd hoped." "So they'll be ready to move when you are." He frowns at this. "You don't want me to go?" I ask. He stretches his legs out and lies back on his back.

"Yeah," he admits, "I do…" "But?" I ask, biting my lip. "But how is it possible?" he ask. I shrug. "It's not just you," he adds quickly, "I like the fact that your family is here to watch my family." I crawl up so I can rest my head on his chest. "They could come with you," I offer, "we could see to that." "Pops wouldn't leave," he says absently, "this is his home. Mom won't leave him alone…" he lets it drop. 'Regardless of their differences' is what he was going to say. "Then my family can stay here…or at least close by…and I'll go with you," I say simply.

He smiles. "What if nowhere cloudy offers me a scholarship," he says with a grin, "what if it's Florida? Or Arizona? Or USC?" I shrug. "Night school," I reply with a wink. He chuckles and rubs my head. "You would do that for me?" he asks. I nod quickly. "If you have eternity," I state, "four or five years is nothing." This seems to ease his mind.

I was ready Friday morning. I was the first to Erica's house to pick up Pat's breakfast. "Your mom is awesome," Erica says at the door. Our 'uniforms'…made by me and Esme…turned out excellent. We wore red and black plaid skirts with white blouses. Yes, it was kind of schoolgirl-ish, but we wanted to be different. Erica's hair was even long enough for pigtails. In keeping with the charade, Emmett drove me to Pat's house so I could deliver the food and drive him to school. "I _hate_ that outfit," Pat said when he opened the door. "Why?" I ask, surprised. "How the hell am I suppose to keep Edward out of my head?" he asked with a wink. I grin back. "His problem…not yours," I reply, giving him a quick kiss on the mouth.

I climbed into the driver's seat of his truck. "As if I didn't have enough jealous females," I huff, "not only do I get to date Pat Williamson…he let's me drive his truck." Pat laughed at that, enjoying his sausage biscuits and juice while I got us to school. Pat was wearing khakis, a white shirt, and a striped blue tie he'd borrowed from Edward. I'd wanted to buy him something, but he said no. "I show up in Armani, it wouldn't look right," he explained, "even more so if I let my girlfriend buy my clothes." I pouted but relented.

The school was abuzz when we got there. Like I said last year, football is BIG in Moscow. No pep rally scheduled though for an away game. My whole family was going…even Carlisle and Esme. Amber and Tori were riding with us. Pops had to work against his wishes. School flew by and we met at Amber's for the trip. I was wearing the same outfit I wore to the first game.

The 'kids' rode, with Edward driving, in the Volvo while Carlisle and Esme drove in the Mercedes. We had fun just chatting about the upcoming game. "Pat ok?" Amber asks. I nod. "Pops said he looked so nervous 'he couldn't have shit boiled okra'." Emmett roared with laughter at that. Bella laughed too, but Edward looked disgusted. "Pregame nerves," I replied with a shrug." Amber nodded. "He's usually not so nervous though…just focused." "It's his senior year," Edward chimed in, "I'm sure he's worried about making an impression with the scouts." I wonder if Edward had picked that up in his thoughts. Edward nods slightly. Yep…I thought so.

We found our seats and Esme took Tori to the bathroom while Amber went to get food. Patrick looks exactly as I remember him from the first game…even down to the black streaks down his face and Copenhagen packed in his bottom lip. Pops was right…he does look nervous. He's all nervous energy as he stretches, bouncing up and down on his toes in between. Sanchez comes over and they're talking. Pat still never stops moving. It looks like they're going over hand signals, planning something as they eye the other team. I don't bother trying to listen over the crowd even though I could. I don't speak football anyway.

Sanchez looks even more nervous than Pat. I forgot…he's starting his first game. The coach calls them to the locker room while the other team's band gets ready to play the National Anthem. After the Pledge and the raising of the flag, the other team plays "Eye of the Tiger". I makes sense…the tiger is their mascot but it sounds cheesy when they do it. Mrs. Powell and our band answer with "Living on a Prayer", which gets the entire student section singing the chorus. Emmett chuckles. "It's been done since Bella was in high school…the first time," he whispers in my ear. I shrug. Everyone looks like they're having fun.

They line up for the coin toss and Pat is pumped up. "Defense first," Amber cheers. I clap along with her. "Mrs. Powell has a surprise," Edward tells our group with a knowing grin, "if Sanchez was going out first, it would be for him…but since it's Pat…" The Bears kickoff and the Tigers run it back to the twenty-two. The defense, as usual, heads to the field while Coach Brook's gives Pat his last minute instructions. The band kicks into "My Hero" by Foo Fighters. Mrs. Powell times it so perfectly, I wonder if SHE'S the psychic. Pat steps onto the field, his first step past the line just as the chorus hits. The entire crowd once again joins in at the chorus, even though this song came out long before any of the students (except my family) were born.

_There goes my hero  
Watch him as he goes  
There goes my hero  
He's ordinary_

The drum major cuts them off after the first chorus, since play is about to begin. "That was fucking awesome!" Emmett exclaims as the crowd cheers, earning him a smack on the head from Bella and a slap on the arm from Esme. "Tori!" Edward growls low to him under his breath. Emmett drops his head, but continues to smirk.

"What movie was that from?" Amber asks. "_Varsity Blues,_" Emmett replies, "you know…the football movie?" "No…" Amber replies slowly. Emmett's smirk widens. "The one with the girl in the whip cream bikini," he says wiggling his eyebrows. Amber giggles. Huh. I wonder if Patrick would like me in a whip cream bikini…so he could lick it off…BAD ALICE!

The first play from scrimmage, the Tigers run it up the middle. Their running back makes it past the linebackers and Patrick nails him. It's a perfect shot…Patrick's facemask hits right on the ball and knocks it out of the back's arms. It shoots backwards, about seven yards, and Will falls on it. "Damn," Emmett mutters, too quiet for Tori to hear. The crowd is going crazy. I wish Pat would look up at me, but he's back near his sideline with Coach Powell and Sanchez. His back is turned to me. He turns to Sanchez, balls up his fist, and drags his thumb across his Adam's apple. "What's he thinking?" I whisper to Edward. Edward gives a small smile. "He's telling Sanchez they need to 'go for the throat' right now," he replies, equally quiet.

Pat's lined up at wide receiver on the far side. He turns to Sanchez and makes a motion with his hand, his coming together like he's trying to say "more" in sign language. Sanchez nods and begins his cadence. He taps his foot on the ground and Pat turns, going in motion. Sanchez times it perfectly…giving Pat just enough time to get on the inside of the cornerback before snapping the ball. The corner gives up the inside and when the ball was snapped Pat runs right by him. The safety bites on the tight end, the closer receiver to him who also had beaten the coverage leaving Pat wide open. Sanchez, with all day to throw, lofts it five yards deep into the end zone and Pat runs under it, never breaking stride. Touchdown Bears!

I can't take my eyes off of him. _He's mine!_ I think. Edward chuckles under his breath. "I know that look," Bella whispers softly in my ear. My eyes are puzzled, though I don't take them off Pat. "I remember the first time I saw Edward…after my transformation," Bella explains in a soft voice, "watching how he moved as he hunted…and _knowing_ he was mine and mine alone." I grin at that. Patrick's back on the sideline and he makes eye contact with me. He waves and I blow him a kiss. Bella grins. "Girl, you REALLY got it bad," she comments.

The next Tigers possession, they go three and out. Sanchez then proceeds to march the Bears down the field sixty-eight yards for another touchdown. He never attempted a pass the entire drive. The rout was on. It was 35-0 at halftime and Pat was on the bench at the start of the fourth quarter so the younger guys could get some playing time. They finally surrendered a late touchdown, though they stopped the two-point conversion attempt. Final score Bears 56 Tigers 6. Patrick had his touchdown. Sanchez threw for 265 yards and three touchdowns. Will had two sacks and was on the bench beside Pat in the fourth quarter. I found myself panting when Pat took his helmet off at the end of the game. His hair was plastered around him, his war paint was smeared, and you could see steam radiating from the back of his neck. I wanted him so bad right then.

I ignored the football talk as we rode back to Moscow, thinking about that yummy number three. Tori fell asleep and I held her against me. If the cold bothered her, she didn't show it. Bella turns around and motions me to come closer. "See if Amber will keep Tori tonight," she whispers, "and maybe Pat can 'spend the night with Emmett'." I smirk. Great idea! I whisper to Amber and she agrees immediately.

We drop them both at Amber's house and me in the school parking lot at Patrick's truck. He comes up wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt. "Hey babe," he says, kissing my forehead. "Nice game," I say with a twinkle in my eye, "I think you need a reward from your Bear Girl." He gets a wide grin on his face. "Where's Tori?" he ask. "Amber's got her," I say, wrapping my arms around his neck, "You're coming home with me." He drops his gym bag and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me to him. "Whatcha got in mind?" he asks seductively. I shrug. "Oh, just a little something I've been waiting for…another baby step you know." He leans over and kisses my neck, making me shiver. "I need to go home and leave Pops a note," he whispers, "and definitely take a shower." I sigh, hands snaking into his hair. "Ok," I pant softly, "we got all night."

I curl up next to Patrick as he drives to his house. Yes, Alice has a plan. Not the whip cream bikini…but a pretty good plan none-the-less. Pat's definitely too tense and it's about time I did something about it. Ok, that's not the reason I'm doing it…but it's a good excuse. The reason is simple. I _want_ to. I check my vision as we ride. Nope, can't go all the way yet. Control isn't good enough. I check it again. Yeah…what I'm planning will work just fine though. I sigh happily as Pat puts a hand on my thigh. He makes the turn one handed and I bite my lower lip. I can't help but be nervous. It's a pretty big step in the human/vampire pairing we have. My visions say it'll be ok…but they've been fooled before.

I'm so lost in my own thoughts I don't notice when Pat freezes as he eases into his yard. "Pop's truck's here," he says, his eyes narrowing. I look up. Sure enough, the old man's pick-up is sitting in it's usual spot. The front porch light isn't on. "Something's wrong Alice," he mutters, moving to get out. "Pat," I hiss hurrying to catch up with him.

Surprisingly, he doesn't move to the house, but to the passenger's side door of the old man's truck. I test the air and don't detect any new scents. He opens the door and then leans over to the driver's seat…coming back with the old man's revolver. "What are you doing?" I hiss. "Something's wrong," he says again, checking the loads and moving slowly to the front door of the house.

"Pat," I whisper fiercely, "let _me_ check." He gives me a funny look. "_Immortal_…remember?" I whisper. He thinks about it for a moment. "I'm right behind you," he whispers. I start to protest, but he gives me a hard look. Williamson stubborn streak strikes again. I finally nod and move to the front door, testing the knob. It's unlocked. Pat cocks the pistol and gives me a nod. I take a deep breath and slowly open the door.

I know what's wrong the moment the door opens even without seeing. I can smell it. Dead human. No blood in the air, but the scent is an obvious giveaway. I block Pat's entrance. "Something's wrong," I whisper. "No shit," Pat whispers fiercely back. I shake my head. "Let me go alone," I whisper. "Like hell," he whispers back with equal ferocity. I sniff the air again and sense no intruder. "You won't need the gun," I whisper. He nods and eases the hammer down, but doesn't put it away.

"No!" Pat screams the moment I turn on the lights. There sits his granddad, in his recliner, dead. His skin is pale, his mouth gaped open, his eyes half open, half closed. "Damnit Pops," Pat screams, dropping to his knees in front of the chair. I reach over and check his pulse, though I don't need to. "He's been gone a while Pat," I say softly, my heart breaking as tears begin welling up in Pat's eyes. He doesn't speak. I snatch my phone out of my pocket and call Carlisle.


	28. Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27-ALICE'S P.O.V.

"Hang up and dial 911," Carlisle said quickly, "I'm on my way." I end the call and do what Carlisle said. After giving the dispatcher the address Patrick and I sat down to wait on the porch. He's got a dip of snuff in his mouth and is staring at his feet. With me standing beside him and him sitting on the top step, his head only reaches my stomach and I take advantage, pulling his head to me and trying to soothe him. He's obviously shaken.

"What happened Alice?" he whispers. I smooth out his hair gently. "It doesn't _look_ like anyone killed him Pat," I whisper back, "it was just his time." I can feel his tears soaking into my jersey. I pull him closer. A police car pulls up and Pat immediately wipes his eyes and slowly stands up to greet them.

We tell the policeman the truth: we came home and found Pops. Patrick explained why he was holding the pistol. No need to lie…Pops obviously wasn't shot. Another police car pulls up and they enter the house. I notice the elder Williamson is wearing his uniform pants and a white undershirt. He only had on one sock, the other resting in his lap. "Looks like the old man was getting ready to go to work and just keeled over," the officer comments. Patrick and I nod. "I'm sorry son," he says in a low gruff voice, putting a hand on Pat's shoulder and leading him back outside. I take Pat's hand and follow.

Carlisle and Esme are waiting outside. "My daughter called me," he said simply to the officer who shrugs. Esme immediately pulls Patrick to her, wrapping him in a tight hug. "I'm sorry Pat," she whispers. Patrick's not crying, but he's fighting it. "I called Miranda," Carlisle said softly, "are we sure he's dead?" "He's dead Doc," Patrick says, his voice muffled from being so close to Esme. I nod in agreement. "It looks like he was putting his socks and boots on to get ready for work," I explain, "and just died right there in his chair."

"I need to call his work," Patrick says as he wipes his eyes again. My heart breaks for him…he's trying so hard to be composed. Carlisle hands him his cell and Patrick dials the number from memory." "Yeah, I need to speak to Frank," Patrick says into the phone. "Yeah…it's Pat. What do you mean Pop's ass is in a sling?" He walks away, trying to be mindful of his language. "He didn't show up because he's DEAD you stupid son-of-a-bitch!" Pat yells into the phone. I hear a muffled _what?_ Come from the other side and Pat replies, "I just found him at home…dead." Silence for a beat. "Take sorry and shove it up your ass!" Pat yells, pulling back to throw the phone into the trees.

Carlisle appears next to him and catches his wrist before he can start moving forward. "Sorry Patrick," he says softly, "but I kind of need that." Patrick nods and Carlisle releases his wrist. He takes the phone and Patrick turns away. Another vehicle comes tearing up the driveway…Miranda's. She's wailing the moment she opens the car door. Patrick hurries to her and they hug each other fiercely. "Shhh, it's ok Mom," Patrick whispers softly in her ear, "it's ok…he didn't suffer."

She cries unashamed on her son's shoulder and he bites his bottom lip to keep from crying himself. I move over to them. "Take her?" Pat ask me softly, "I need to see about…arrangements." I nod and Pat pulls himself free of his hysterical mom. She cries on my shoulder. I like Pat's mom…but I want to be comforting him. Esme comes over to help, along with Carlisle. "They're asking about the funeral home and whatnot," Carlisle explains to her, "Patrick knows where Mr. Williamson kept his important papers concerning…well in preparation for…this." Miranda nods and continues to sob. Esme has taken over soothing duty. I turn and look for Patrick. I can't see him inside the house, but I can hear his heartbeat and can smell him. That's comforting enough.

Once he's finished, Patrick puts Miranda in the passenger's seat of her car and tells her to wait. Esme stays with her. Patrick stays on the porch until the funeral home arrives and they load up his grandfather and take him away. "We'll be there in the morning," Patrick mumbles to the attendant who replies, "That'll be fine Pat…and our condolences." Patrick gives him a quick nod.

Patrick then goes through the house, relocking his granddad's safe along with the back door and turning off the lights. He also goes to his room and gets some clothes. "I've got to take mom home," he mumbles, pulling me to him, "she's too shook up to be driving." "I'm coming with you," I tell him in a soft, but firm voice. He hesitates, then nods. Patrick locks the front door and climbs into his mom's car. I wave at my 'parents', knowing they heard our exchange, and climb into the backseat. Miranda gives me a weak smile and I return it. I then lean forward and put a hand on Patrick's shoulder. He puts his hand over mine. We ride like that over to Miranda's house.

Melanie is waiting for us and immediately takes over comforting Miranda. Her gaze lingers over me for about two seconds longer than necessary. "Hi Alice," she mouths to me. I give her a small smile back. "Tori asleep?" Pat asks. Melanie nods. "Guess I'll tell her in the morning," he says sadly. "Go take a shower," Melanie says, "I can smell you from here." Pat doesn't even respond, just trudging weakly towards the bathroom, bag in hand.

"Want coffee Alice?" Melanie asks. I shake my head but reply "I can go make some if you want." Melanie nods, then goes back to soothing Miranda who's still weeping softly on her shoulder. I'm standing beside the kitchen sink filling the pot with water when I hear a sound that breaks my heart. Out of all the noises in the house…the sink running, Miranda crying, Melanie hushing her, Amber and Tori's light snores, the air conditioning, and the shower…I can hear Patrick crying softly from the bathroom. I know no one else hears, but I can. I can feel my own lip quivering.

I take a deep breath and fix the coffee maker, then return to the living room. "How do you take it?" I ask Melanie. "Black…both of us," she says absently, "Pat too." "It'll be ready in a minute," I say absently. Melanie nods.

"Pat's crying," Miranda says weakly. "You can hear him?" I ask, surprised. She shakes her head. "When Roy…his dad…use to whip him, Pat would bite his bottom lip and not make a sound," she says, her eyes far away, "I've seen him bite that lip till he drew blood." She sighs. "Didn't want go give that bastard the satisfaction of seeing him cry."

She looks up at me. "Pat's just like that," she goes on, "don't ever think he's a cold person." "He's not…he just hides it well." I nod, not surprised. "Can _you _hear him Alice?" Melanie says abruptly. I shake my head. "No, that's why I was so surprised Miranda could," I lie quickly, "I usually have pretty good hearing." Melanie gives me a scrutinizing look like she doesn't believe me but can't call me on it.

"Mothers always know," Miranda says with a knowing nod. Melanie smirks at this. "Yeah," Miranda says sadly, "he ain't my little boy anymore Alice." I don't know how to respond to that. Miranda takes a deep breath. "Take care of him Alice," Miranda whisper, "he loves you." "I know," I say simply, putting my hand on hers, "and I love him." This earns me a warm smile from both women.

Patrick comes in wearing nothing but a pair of shorts. "Boy, put some clothes on," Melanie says with an eye roll. "What?" Patrick says, rolling his eyes right back, "thinking of changing your persuasion?" I giggle at that, then see Pat's chest. Even with the werewolf scars he looks good enough to eat. "Wipe your mouth Alice," Melanie says, smacking me on the arm. She winces at the contact, but doesn't comment. Was I drooling?

Patrick and Miranda both just roll their eyes. "I made coffee," I say, tearing my eyes off Pat, "want some?" "I'd love some," Pat says, absently messing with his Copenhagen can. Both women wrinkle their noses at this, but don't comment. I'm betting that's an old argument. "Black?" I ask from the kitchen. "You know it," he replies. I pour three cups, taking the two women one, then coming back for Pat's. He's sitting down in an armchair and I just park myself in his lap. This earns me another warm smile from Melanie and Miranda.

"Soon as I finish this, I'll get dressed and run Alice home," Patrick tells his mom. She huffs. "She can stay if it's alright with her parents," she replies quickly, "I doubt anything like _that's_ going on tonight." "My folks aren't expecting me home," I reply quickly, "I told them Pat would probably need me." "Good," Melanie says, "I'll even give you a pass on the 'Behave Yourselves' speech." Pat doesn't comment, just sips his coffee. If he's embarrassed, he doesn't show it.

Patrick finishes his coffee and bids everyone goodnight. I follow of course. "Here," he says handing me a t-shirt, "it's a little big…but I promise I'll be good." He's smiling, but I can tell his hearts not in it. I smile back though and kiss him on the cheek. I strip to just my panties and slide the shirt on over me. Gods, it smells like him…BAD ALICE, BAD ALICE, BAD ALICE! I fold up my clothes, so my bra isn't visible, and go back into the room. Tori is asleep in one bed, Patrick is lying on another on the opposite wall. The bed is much smaller than the one at his house, but I don't mind.

"Hey," I whisper, pulling myself next to him, "you can cry if you want." He shakes his head. "_You_ can't," he replies. I exhale and pull myself even closer. "I would if I could," I admit, "cry I mean. It's like sleeping…it's a luxury my kind wishes we had." He doesn't respond. "Edward feels the same way," I admit, "he wishes he could cry sometimes." Patrick puts a hand on my hip. "I know what you're thinking," I continue, "and I understand. You think you have to be strong for them…and you maybe right." I bite my bottom lip. "Just know I'm not going to think less of you if you do," I go on, "and I _want_ to comfort you."

He gives me a slow nod. I wrap my arms around his neck. "Are you alright?" I whisper. "No," he admits, "but I will be…thanks to you." He gives me a soft kiss on my mouth, then rest his forehead against mine. "I don't even own a suit," he mumbles. "I'll take care of it tomorrow," I promise, "you take care of your mom and Tori." He nods, then burrows his head under my chin. I hold him against my chest till he cries himself to sleep.

I hold him the entire night. His sleep is restless and I do my best to soothe him. I don't even pretend to be asleep when Melanie sticks her head in to check on Tori and us. She gives me a knowing nod and disappears quickly. Pat mumbles and tosses the entire night. I respond by pulling him closer and whispering in his ear till he stills.

I hear a car pull up before seven and I hear my family's voices coming from the living room. "We brought breakfast," Esme tells Melanie in a hushed voice, "we knew you all have a…busy day today." I hear Esme, Melanie, and Bella in the kitchen. "I didn't know Pat drank coffee," Esme says. Melanie chuckles. "Did you offer him any?" Melanie replies. I'm guessing Esme shook her head because Melanie goes on, "He won't ask…too afraid of putting anyone out." This earns a chuckle from Bella and Esme.

"I…hope you don't mind," Melanie says quietly, "but they're both asleep in the guest room." "No, that's fine," Esme says quickly, "I doubt we have any reason to worry." I slide out from Pat's embrace without waking him and put my jeans back on, leaving his t-shirt, and pad quietly down the hall. "How is he?" Edward asks as soon as I walk into the living room. "Hanging in there," I reply weakly. He puts an arm around my shoulders and kisses the top of my head.

_He needs a suit_, I think to Edward. He nods. "We'll handle it," he promises. Emmett, sitting on the far end of the room, nods in agreement. He doesn't even know what Edward's promising…or care. Once one of us agrees to handle something, the rest of us are on board. That's just how my family is.

I hear Tori's heartbeat quicken and I wait for her to come down the hall, glancing that direction. Edward gets my attention and shakes his head at me. I listen anyway…smiling slightly as Melanie explains to Esme how to make grits. I hear Tori's heartbeat beginning to slow again. _Went back to sleep?_ I ask. Edward nods.

Emmett turns the TV on ESPN about the time Amber comes into the living room and plops down on the couch still in her pajamas. "Company this morning, huh?" she ask. "You don't know?" I ask. "Know what?" she ask. I look at Edward who shakes his head. "Last night…" I began but stop. "Yeah…" she comments, "I came home and went straight to bed." Edward moves quickly into the kitchen to get Melanie.

"Sweetie," she says coming from the kitchen, "you need to sit down." Amber gives her a look that says _I'm already sitting Mom_. "What the hell is going on?" Amber says, now looking confused. Melanie takes her hand and pulls Amber closer to her. "Pops died last night," Melanie says, spitting it out, "Pat and Alice found him in his chair." Her face immediately crumples. "What happened?" she asks, fighting for control. "It looks like he sat in his chair to put his boots on and just…died," Melanie explains softly. Amber loses it at this point. Melanie quickly grabs her in a fierce hug. "Don't wake Tori and Pat," she whispers fiercely, "I don't know how Alice got him to sleep last night." Emmett chuckles at that and Bella smacks him in the back of the head.

Melanie just rolls her eyes. "No Emmett…I checked," she mutters, "she didn't do _that_." "Although," she says giving me a pointed look, "Ms. Alice and I are going to have a little talk in the not so distant future." She then turns and looks at Edward. They share what looks like a moment of silent communication and he gives her a nod. _What?_ I think to Edward. He shakes his head at me.

Esme and Bella set the table and I go to wake up Pat and Tori. I freeze in the doorway when I see Tori's bed empty. I look at the other bed. She's curled up against Pat's chest, his arm around her. I smile at this. I hate to wake them. I kneel beside Tori first. "Sweetie," I whisper, stroking her hair, "breakfast is ready." She opens her eyes groggily. She starts to speak and I put a finger over my lips, then point towards the kitchen. She gives me a big smile and slips out of bed, padding into the kitchen in her bare feet.

I move to her spot and kiss Pat's forehead. "Wake up baby," I whisper in his ear. He stirs slightly. Shit, I hate to do this. He didn't sleep well at all. "Pat," I say a little louder, shaking him gently, "it's time to get up." He slowly opens his eye. "You have things to do," I say sadly. He nods, then stretches. "I feel like shit," he grumbles, "I need coffee." "Esme and Bella made breakfast," I tell him, rubbing his back, "come on." He groans and moves to sit up.

I take his hand and we walk into the kitchen. They don't have a formal dining room, so the human's are around the kitchen table. Miranda is awake too. "You guys aren't going to eat?" Miranda asks. "They ate before they came," Melanie says quickly. Her and Edward share another pointed look and he nods to agree with her. Pat sits down at the head of the table. "Just coffee," he mumbles. I pour for him. "Not eating?" I whisper in his ear. He moves his head to where he can whisper in mine. "Don't feel like I could handle eating right now," he whispers back. Esme frowns at this, but none of the humans hear him.

He polishes his coffee off in four long gulps, then pushes away. "Going to get dressed," he says absently, "then…" he stops, looking at Tori. "We'll handle that," Amber says, "you've done the hard part…and you still have things to do." He shakes his head. "My responsibility," he says flatly. "Pat, we've GOT it," Amber replies firmly. Again he shakes his head. "Don't fight me Pat," Amber says, even more firmly, "we can do it."

I pour him another cup of coffee. "Come on," I say, tugging his arm, "I'll go with you." He's not backing down from Amber. "Please Pat," I whisper in his ear, "don't fight with Amber…between her, her mom, and your mom they can handle it." He huffs, but follows me back to the bedroom.

"Something's up," I tell him quietly as he dresses, doing my best to ignore him clad only in boxers. "Like what?" he ask. I shake my head. "Melanie's acting strange," I explain. He shrugs. "I don't know," he admits finally, tucking his shirt in. "Her and Edward are sharing looks…like me and him do when I'm talking to him and he's reading my mind," I tell him.

He ponders this. "She's never asked anything that makes me think she's suspicious," he says, sitting on the edge of the bed to put on his boots, "could she be?" I shake my head. "I don't think so," I admit, "I'm sure we've never met." He shrugs. "I wouldn't worry about it," he says, standing up. He takes the coffee cup from my hand and drains it. "This is going to suck," he grumbles as he moves to the bathroom. He closes the door and I hear him pee, wash his hands, and brush his teeth. I wish there were some way I could make this easier.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N Ok, now for a little "What Does The Reader Think?". I think it's pretty obvious Melanie knows something. It's also not a stretch to say she knows the Cullen's secret. Now the question is _how_? Put your theories in your reviews or send me a PM if you're confident in your guess and don't want to spoil anyone's surprise.


	29. Chapter 28

**No I do not own Twilight. If I did, I'd have enough $$ to pay someone to write this and not have to do it myself.**

CHAPTER 28-ALICE'S P.O.V.

Patrick, against his families and mine's wishes, went to the funeral home alone. Esme and Bella stayed and cleaned the house for his parents, though I know it must've sucked having to do so at human speed. Edward went to get Patrick a suit. I had taken his measurements before he left. Tori seemed ok hearing about Pop's death, though I'm not sure how much she understood. I stayed out of that one. Her and Amber went dress shopping. I'd wanted to go with them but Melanie stopped me. "We have to talk…remember?" she asked. I nod. So Miranda went to take a nap (she slept worse than Patrick) and Melanie and I went into the backyard.

"I'm sorry if this bothers you," she apologizes as she lights a cigarette. "No…it's ok," I reply. Truthfully, I don't like them…they have a strong odor and cover other scents in the air dulling my sense of smell some. She gives me a pointed look when I say that and I'm already starting to get uncomfortable. She exhales smoke out of her nose. "I'm going to tell you something Alice," she begins, "something about yourself. Do me a favor and don't deny it?" I look at her closely. I have no idea where she's coming from. I give her a slow nod as she takes another drag. "I know what you are Alice," she states flatly, "I know you…and your family…are vampires."

I start to giggle and stop. I mean honestly, that's what I should do. Deny, deny, deny. "I didn't put it together until I met you 'brother'," she says, making quotation marks with her fingers when she says "brother", "the name 'Cullen' was vaguely familiar…but when I both heard the name Edward…and saw him…I knew." She inhales again. "Today at breakfast, I thought to him _I know what you are Edward_," she goes on, "and of course he flinched. I remembered he can read minds." I gawk.

"You're Alice…the seer," she continues, "and you were married to Jasper. Emmett had a wife too, didn't he?" I swallow hard and nod. "How?" I ask. "How did I know?" she ask. I nod. "Miranda isn't the first woman I've been with," she admits, looking away, "the first…was Tanya."

Tanya? "I went to college in Alaska," she says, "and my first…experience…with a woman was Tanya." She gives me a knowing look. "Tanya," she hints, "lived in Denali? Two sisters…Kate and Irina? In love with Edward?" I'm shocked. "She…_told_ you," I finally spit out. She nods. "She was going to change me," she admits, "over twenty years ago." "Tanya," I stammer, "was a _lesbian_?" She gives me a funny look. "She was in love with Edward for so long," I add, trying not to offend her, "it just caught me by surprise." "You can't help who you love Alice," Melanie says softly, "you of all people should know that." I nod. "I had forgotten about your family," she goes on, her voice far away now, "she talked about her 'cousins' all the time. She came to me one night and told me she had to go away for a little while and we would be together when she returned. She never did." "She was killed," I say sadly. Now Melanie was the one looking shocked. "How?" she ask.

So I tell her everything. I start from Edward falling in love with Bella. I then move to their break-up and reunion. Then I tell her about the wedding. "I remember when she went to that," Melanie says absently, "she mentioned going to Edward's wedding in Washington State." Her head drops. "It wasn't a good time for her." I nod. I then tell her of Bella's pregnancy, the birth of Renesmee, and Bella's transformation. I tell her of Irina seeing Renesmee and going to the Volturi. "Irina had lost her mate…I remember that," Melanie comments, "and Tanya told me of the Volturi." I nod and go on. I take a deep breath and tell her of the confrontation, telling her of the death of Jasper, Rosaline, and nearly all of the Denali clan. Her mouth sets in a hard line. "I…thought she had abandoned me," she whispers.

We're quiet for a while, then Melanie lights another cigarette. "So what happened next?" she ask. I drop my head, then tell her…everything. She listens without comment. "Wow," she says in a flat voice, "just…wow." I don't respond. "You…love Patrick?" she ask, surprise evident in her voice. I nod, not meeting her eyes. "You're lucky," she says flatly, "he's a sweet boy." I smile at this. She didn't say, "he's lucky" she said, "YOU'RElucky". "I know," I whisper weakly.

Silence follows. "You don't approve," I say flatly. "Shit honey," Melanie says quickly, "I'm so happy I could dance naked in the front yard." I raise up my head, shocked. "Why?" I ask. She smiles at me. "Because I loved a vampire," she says warmly, "and it was the best thing that could have happened." She reaches over and grabs my hand. "Are you going to change him?" she ask. "When he's ready," I answer quickly, "he wants to stay human for Tori right now." She nods thoughtfully. "That ok with you?" she asks. I nod quickly. She smiles at me again. "You _do_ love him," she says in awe. "Yes," I reply, meeting her eyes.

She chuckles. "Honey, I can't lie…you impress me," she states, "all these girls that have come around here…shaking their money-makers at him…he's ignored. The rumors that fly because he's 'white trash' or his mama's a 'dyke' or because he's daddy's doing life without in Ala-fucking-Bama…they've taken their toll. I sure as hell didn't expect a woman in this town to break through that wall. Should've known if it did, she couldn't be human." I chuckle at that. "Tanya always spoke so highly of your family," Melanie says with a smile, "I'm glad I get to know you. And of course you're secret's safe with me." She moves around the table to hug me. "God, I'm glad to have your kind back in my life," she says, "it makes me feel…like I know something _good_ no one else does."

I'm flabbergasted. Not only does she know about us…but also she _approves_. I wonder what Edward thinks? Well, it doesn't matter…she knows. And there's no Volturi to hunt her down. "So I didn't give it away…it was Edward?" I ask. She nods. "Tanya and I were very…open," she explains, "so once I found out about what she was, I got her history. So of course I heard of the famous Edward Cullen." She takes another drag. "She described him to a 'T'," she comments, "height…build…hair…eyes…hell, I thought I was seeing a ghost just from what Tanya told me."

She smiles fondly. "All Amber had told me was you were adopted and had a sister and two brothers." "She mentioned Bella, but her name didn't ring a bell…I don't think Tanya mentioned who Edward married. And like I said earlier, the name 'Cullen' rang a bell after 20 years, but I couldn't put my finger on it." "I'll admit I knew you were a vampire last night," she says, "because I remember what to look for. But when Edward walked in this morning…it all fell into place."

She gives a mischievous grin. "I was checking last night to see if YOU were asleep," she says with a wink, "not Tori or to catch you and Pat doing anything." I giggle at that. "Miranda doesn't know," Melanie says, "and I'm not going to tell her. But I'll be there for her if and when Pat decides he wants to be changed." "Thank you Melanie," I reply softly. She smiles back.

Patrick gets back a couple of hours later, looking pale and sad. "Wake will be from six till eight tomorrow night," Pat says sadly, "funeral will be graveside at two Monday." "Pallbearers?" Miranda asks. "I'll call Will and get some of the guys on the team to do it," I volunteer. Pat nods in agreement. "It'll be quick and simple," Pat explains, "that's what he specified." He sighs. "The guys from the VFW are handling most of it," he explains, "since Pops was Army when he was younger. They'll still need pallbearers though…they're getting a little too old to be hauling caskets." Everyone nods.

"You need a suit Pat," Miranda says absently. "Edward's taking care of that sweetie," Melanie says, rubbing her shoulder, "and Amber is taking Tori go get a dress." "Everything's taken care of." "I'll be right back," I whisper to Patrick and step outside. "Erica," I say into my phone after dialing the number, "I need Nick's number."

After getting it I call Nick. "Nick, this is Alice Cullen," I say when he answers. "Um, hi," he says nervously from the other end, "what can I do for you?" "Patrick Williamson's granddad died last night," I reply, "and the funeral's Monday." "Man…that sucks," he replies. "Yeah," I agree, "so I was wondering…" "He want me to play?" he ask, his voice sounding happier. "Yep," I reply, "just one song." "Gladly," he says quickly, "do I need to dress up…kilt and all." "No," I reply, "Pat won't care as long as you come and play." "Cool," he says, "what song does he want?"

I ponder. "I don't know that many hymns," I reply softly, "can you pick something?" "Sure," he says, "_Amazing Grace_ is a pretty common choice…and sounds really good on the pipes. Let me do that since I know it well." "That's fine," I say, my voice sounding cheerier, "my dad will pay you whatever your usual rate is." "Not a chance," Nick says, his voice losing some of its friendliness, "I owe Pat…thanks to him, I can still eat solid food." I smile. "Whatever you want Nick," I gush, "the funeral's at two Monday…can you miss school?" "No problem," he replies, "I'll check out at lunch…my mom won't mind." "Great," I tell him, "we'll see you there." "All right…bye Alice," he replies before hanging up.

I return to the house. Pat is sitting back in the armchair spitting into an empty coke bottle. I lean over him. "I just talked to Nick," I whisper, "he's going to play something." Patrick looks up at me and nods, his eyes softening. "Who's Nick?" Melanie asks. "Guy I go to school with," Patrick replies, "plays the bagpipes." "Wow," Melanie says quickly, "I've been to a couple of funerals where someone plays." "_Amazing Grace_ sounds beautiful." "That's what he wants to play…if that's alright," I reply. She nods. "Thank you Alice," she says softly, "that would mean a lot to Pops."

I sit on Pat's lap and wrap my arms around his neck. "You ok?" I whisper. He nods. "Seriously?" I ask in his ear, "You don't look well." "I'm alright," he says in a gruff voice, "just…hangin in there." I pull his head to my chest. "I'm here," I whisper. He doesn't respond with words, but puts his arms around my waist. I run my fingers through his hair. I can tell he's dozing.

Esme and Bella finish with the house and leave to "take care of some things". Translation: hunt. Edward and Emmett go with them. "We've got dinner handled," Esme says, hugging Melanie before leaving. "Hunt?" Melanie whispers in my ear when they leave. I nod. "They're eyes were black," she comments, "so are yours." "I'm ok," I whisper, "I'll go when Pat's asleep." "He's asleep now," she points out. I shrug. "He needs me right now," I reply, "I'll go tonight." She nods.

"Can I ask you something?" she asks. I nod. "Pat wasn't attacked by a pack of wolves was he?" she ask, with obvious difficulty. "Werewolf," I reply, "we killed it." She frowns at this. "La Push?" she asks. I shake my head. "They're shape-shifters," I explain, "that happen to shift into a wolf. This was an honest to goodness, full moon, werewolf." She shakes her head. "I didn't know they existed," she comments, "Tanya said they didn't exist." "The Volturi have hunted them to near extinction," I whisper, "this was the first any of us except Carlisle have ever seen." She nods. "Thank you Alice," she says squeezing my shoulder as she stands.

Amber and Tori come back and I shush them as soon as they walk in the door. Seeing Patrick asleep, with me in his lap makes them smile. They tiptoe to Amber's room, leaving Pat at peace. I run my hand across his cheek as he starts muttering again. "Shh baby," I whisper in his ear, "go back to sleep…I'm right here." He stills. Others in the house come and go but I ignore them, continuing to stare at the sleeping boy under me.

Around 4:30 I hear Edward's Volvo drive up, followed by my families hushed voices as they came to the house. Melanie was in the room, reading a magazine and I got her attention quietly and nodded to the front door. She smiles and goes to answer it. "Pat's still asleep," she whispers to them as she moves aside. Emmett's and Bella are carrying groceries and Edward has a garment bag over his shoulder. _Suit?_ I think. He nods at me. "What did Pat have for lunch?" Esme ask softly. "The same thing he had for breakfast," Melanie says with a snort, "coffee and Copenhagen." Esme frowns at this. "Well, he's getting my lasagna tonight," she say softly, "let's see if he can resist that."

Patrick's stomach starts growling before he even wakes up. No one disturbs him until Bella sets the table. "Pat," I whisper in his ear, "time to wake up." He opens his eyes. "Esme made lasagna," I whisper. "Not hungry," he grumbles. I scoff. "You're stomach's been growling the past hour," I whisper, "now get up in eat." "No," he says firmly. "You'll get up and eat or I'll straddle you right here and force it down your throat…and don't think I can't," I say a little firmer. He makes eye contact with me. He's eyes aren't angry…just hurt.

"Please Pat," I whisper, "I don't think Tori will unless you do." He sighs. Yeah…I played the Tori card…and it worked. "Come on," I say, moving off his lap and taking his hand. He complies and sits at the head of the table again. I serve him a large slice with a glass of milk and he slowly picks up his fork. He seems to be choking down the first bite, but once he does he gives in to the hunger, wolfing it down in record time.

"So," Emmett asks, turning to Melanie, "how did you and Miranda meet?" She shrugs. "I work in the office at the stockyard," she explains, "and Pops forgot his lunch one day and she brought it to him. We just hit it off." Emmett nods. "Pops didn't take it very well I've gathered?" he presses. She shakes her head. "Miranda had just had Tori," she explains, "so he wouldn't have been happy about her seeing anyone." Emmett nods.

He then turns to Pat. "You don't seem to mind," he comments. It's not an accusation…merely an observation. Pat shrugs and swallows. "Like I told Alice…I really don't care what two consenting adults do behind closed door. She treats my mom good and mom's happy." Emmett smiles. "It bothered me more than it did him," Amber comments. "Why?" Emmett asks, turning to her. She shrugs. "I just don't see the attraction," she replies, "I mean why have clam when you can have sausage?"

This causes Pat to choke, milk spewing out of his nose. It shocks me too and I cover my mouth to keep from giggling. "Sorry," Pat mumbles, wiping his face, "caught me by surprise." He shoots Amber a dirty look. She ignores him. "I was more interest in how you met," Emmett says, breaking the silence, "I wasn't trying to make anyone uncomfortable." Melanie smiles at him. "No problem Emmett," she say throwing him a wink, "I expect that kind of question from you." No one speaks. She then looks at me. I guess Tanya filled her in on Emmett. I see Edward nod from the corner of my eye.

The humans finish eating and Esme moves in to handle the dishes. "Get a shower Pat," I whisper. He nods and does what I tell him. "I'll be back later," I whisper to Melanie. I know my family can hear me. She nods. "I'm going with you," Edward says as I get to the door. I nod and we take off for the tree line.

"So Melanie knows who we are," he says. "Yep," I answer as we run, "she and Tanya…" I let it drop. "Surprised me too Alice," Edward comments, "but it does make sense…Tanya kept bouncing from man to man trying to find what she was looking for." "And it wasn't a man?" I ask. He nods. "You're not worried?" I ask. He shakes his head. "I called Carlisle while I was going to get Pat's clothes," he explains, "and Carlisle and I agree…she's kept the secret for two decades." I nod. It makes sense.

"She's not afraid of us," I comment, "and she's happy Pat is with us." He nods. "I've seen her thoughts," he comments, "Tanya told her everything." "We'll need to be careful…but I think we're safe." I nod. "There's you a bag in the car," Edward comments after we've covered a couple more miles, "we thought you would prefer to stay with Patrick." "Thank you," I reply. They were right.

Patrick, Miranda, and Melanie are sitting around the kitchen table drinking beer and not talking when I return. I give him a puzzled look but he's not paying attention. "Figured it would help him sleep a little better," Melanie explains. I shrug and give her a small smile before taking my bag into the bathroom. I shower off the mountain lion (Edward's idea) and change. I start to put on the pajamas Esme or Bella packed for me, but opt instead to wear one of Pat's shirts again. I give him a smile from the hallway and whisper, "I'm going to bed."

He nods and finishes the beer he's holding, saying goodnight to his mom and Melanie. I hear him in the bathroom as I lie down, putting my back against the wall. He doesn't speak when he comes in, just pulling my close and laying his head against my chest. I comply, stroking his hair when I feel the tears wetting his t-shirt I'm wearing. I hold him again, like I did last night, the entire night.


	30. Chapter 29

(A/N Ok, wasn't going to post another chapter today but paisleypus is waiting with baited breath for me to update, so this one's for you girl. Begging doesn't usually work...but once in a while I just can't resist. Also, please remember this story is rated 'M'. The next chapter contains...well, I don't know what to call it? It's technically not a lemon. "Lemon twist"? "Lemon garnish"? "Artifical lemon flavoring"? Anyway, here it is. More tomorrow I hope.)

**Is this really necessary? Whatever...I don't own Twilight.**

CHAPTER 29-ALICE'S P.O.V.

Esme and Bella bring breakfast over again Sunday morning. Afterwards, Patrick catches a ride with Edward to his house alone to get "paperwork". Pops had been prepared for this, his burial plot already paid for and several policies to pay the funeral home. Pat plans on bringing his truck back with him. I stay, playing with Tori mostly. "He's going to be busy for a while," Miranda tells me, "between the cattle and the house he's got a lot on his plate." I nod as Tori shows me the dress she wants to put on her doll. That was all I heard Miranda say the entire day. "Her and Pops never completely made up," Amber explained. "She going to be ok?" I ask. Amber laughs. "Pat didn't get his toughness from just Pops," she said, rolling her eyes.

Visitors began showing up after lunch. I wonder if that's why Pat stayed away? I kept Tori occupied while the family visited. Bella and Esme left as soon as polite. Most of the guest brought food. It's mid-afternoon and Pat hasn't shown. "Alice?" I heard a whisper from the end of the hall. Melanie's voice…she knew I could hear her. I got up and went to her. "Can you go check on Pat?" she whispers, "he's been gone a long time and after you telling me it was a werewolf that attacked Pat…I'd rather one of your family were there in case something's wrong." I hug her gently. "I'll run over there right now," I whisper.

I find him sitting in the living room at home. There's a bunch of papers and pictures scattered around him. He doesn't hear me. He's sitting there on the floor with his head hanging. I can see dried tears marking his face. I ache to touch him. I watch from the window as he sits there…not moving. I look closer. There are three piles of documents, but I can't see what's on them. There's a large automatic pistol on top of the smallest one, but Pat doesn't seem to be looking at it. It looks pretty old. I see pictures scattered around; pictures of him, Amber, Tori, and Miranda at different ages. I see fresh tears fall from his face.

Even alone, he cries silently. I've never wanted him more than I do right now. Not for me…for him. I want to lie him on his back, crawl on top of him, hold him, touch him, kiss him, and do everything I'm capable of as a woman to clear this from his head for however long I can. Now I wish to be human…so that I can begin to heal him like he did for me.

I slip inside, not knocking. Pat, of course, immediately begins drying his eyes when he hears the door open. "It's just me," I whisper, "you need to get back so you can get ready." He nods, still drying his eyes. "Want me to grab you some clothes?" I ask. Again he nods as he begins to gather up the paperwork. "What's that?" I ask, pointing to the gun. "Government issued Colt .45 automatic," Patrick explains, "it was in the safe…it was Pop's granddad's." "He brought it back from Europe…family heirloom." Pat chokes out.

I nod then hurry to Pat's room. I grab him a pair of khaki's and a black button up shirt from the closet before going to his drawers to get socks and underwear. I gather up the items and come back into the living room. Pat's not in there. "Pat?" I call. "Pops room," he calls. I move into the doorway to see Pat placing the gun on top of the paperwork before closing the safe and spinning the dial. Ok…not suicidal. That's good. "This ok?" I ask, pointing to the outfit I picked. He nods and takes my hand. We stop in the living room for Pat to pick up a file folder before we get into his truck.

I sit beside him as he drives. When we get to the main road he reaches over with his free hand and pulls my head against his arm. "I want you close," is all he says. "You got it," I whisper back, snuggling against his upper arm. "This is going to be difficult," he says sadly. "I'll get you through it," I reply. He smiles slightly. "I know," he says simply.

Patrick and I are the only ones not ready when we arrive. He gets the bathroom first to shower and shave and I use the bedroom. Esme has me a navy blue one-piece dress with long sleeves. The hem comes to my knees. I slip it on and am putting on my heels as he comes out wrapped in a towel. He smells good, but the sadness in his eyes kills any desire before it can build.

I give him a soft smile and slip out of the room to let him dress. Everyone's waiting. "He'll be ready in a moment," I mutter, sitting down in what I've christened "Pat's chair" since it's the one he always sits in. Pat's ready ten minutes later. "Let's go," he says. I jump up and straighten his tie, earning me a huff. Melanie is literally beaming at us.

Pat, Tori, and I take his truck while the parent's take Miranda's car. "Pat," Tori ask, sitting between us, "why did God take Pops?" Pat exhales slowly, thinking carefully. "I guess he needs another old cowboy," he says finally. She pouts, her eyes welling up with tears. Pat notices too. "Hey, hey," he says, throwing an arm around her shoulder, "what's wrong?" "What if God needs a hitman?" she asks, her voice cracking. "He won't," Pat promises, "he's got Saint Michael, remember?" She sniffs and nods against his chest. "Who's Saint Michael?" I ask, though I'm more interested in how Pat knows that. I thought he was Baptist. "He cast Satan out of Paradise," Tori answers, "he's an archangel…which is like one of God's hitmen." "_Gangs of New York_," Pat mouths to me. Oh…should've known he got that from a movie. I can't believe he let her watch that!

Pat carries Tori and the folder in one arm and holds my hand with the other as we walk into the funeral home. I wrinkle my nose…I know embalming fluid smell bad to humans, but to my kind it _reeks_. Pat squeezes my hand when he sees my reaction. One of the attendants leads the family into the viewing parlor while Pat goes into an office with the paperwork. Pat gives Tori to Amber before going in alone. I follow the family into the room with Pop's casket and stand to the side, letting the family have their final good-byes. Pat comes in empty handed and I move to straighten his tie again. I notice he's got tobacco in his mouth, though I have no clue where he's spitting. He kisses my forehead and walks to the other side of the room to sit in a chair. He never looks at the casket.

I move to stand by his side, mindful of not being improper. Pat puts his hand on my waist and guides me to his lap. "While we can," he whispers, tightening his arms around my waist. "Are you going to say goodbye?" I whisper. He shakes his head. "Better to remember him like I do now," he whispers, "not lying there in a suit he'd hated wearing." I smile and push his bangs out of his eyes.

"Do you need to hunt?" he whispers. I shake my head. "I'm good," I whisper back. He leans on me and I continue to play with his hair. "You're going home tonight?" he ask. I shake my head and he frowns. "You have school tomorrow," he whispers. I give him a funny look. "Appearances Alice," he whispers, "you can't spend the night with me at my mom's house with school tomorrow." Shit, he's right. We're quiet for a few moments. "I'll go home tonight then," he says softly, "they can do without me." "Are you sure?" I ask. He nods. "Tell em I'll sleep better in my own bed," he replies with a shrug, "but you'll have to make a show of going home." "I'll do it," I whisper. He gives me a small smile and squeezes my waist.

Our conversation is cut off when people begin showing to pay their respects. I've been with Carlisle and Edward when we would have to "play our roles", but this seemed too personal. Patrick greeted all well wishers calmly and politely. Pops wouldn't have it any other way. I noticed several people shunned Miranda…Pat's jaw would clench when they would skip over the grieving daughter. A few would approach me, though most knew I wasn't family. My family of course came to pay their respects. Esme took Tori from a weary Miranda for about half an hour. I saw Will come in and I moved to greet him. "Glad you're here," he whispered in my hair, "Pat needs you." I nod. He then came and hugged Pat. They went into a corner and had a discussion about needing pallbearers. "I'll handle it," Will assures him. Will's mom and dad were there too and treated Pat and his family warmly. I was relieved.

The entire coaching staff came too, of course. Coach Brooks had Pat in the same corner as Will had and I listened in. He only wanted to make sure Pat was ok…no football talk even though Pat was more than willing. "You take care of your family Pat," Coach Brooks whispered, hugging his safety, "we'll take care of the team." Pat told him about the funeral tomorrow and Coach told him not to worry about practice. "I'll be there Tuesday," Pat promised.

Erica openly wept when she hugged Pat and of course he shushed her. It was what he did…take care of everyone else. Nick was next and Pat shook his hand and thanked him for playing tomorrow. Nick was pleased to have been asked. I leave Pat alone for a moment and go to my family, telling them Pat will be home tonight. We set it up so it looks like they're taking me back to his mom's to get my bag and going home with them.

Pat's and my family are the only ones left at eight. "Guess it's time to go home," Pat mumbles. Melanie nods, wrapping her arm around a crying Miranda. Amber is crying softly too, holding a sleeping Tori against her chest. "See y'all at the house," Pat mumbles, taking me hand. "When will you be there?" he ask me once we're in the truck. "I'll leave with my family," I explain, "and they'll drop me off as soon as we're out of sight. I'll be at your house as soon as I can." He nods. "You be alright alone?" I ask. He smiles weakly and nods. "Have to be," he mumbles. "Yeah, you do," I reply firmly, "at least until I get there." He doesn't respond. I lean against his arm as he drives to Miranda's house.

Melanie and his mom have no problem with him wanting to sleep in his own bed tonight. Tori was already asleep, so they decided to keep her there. Pat went through the motions of telling me goodnight and would see me tomorrow. Bella, Edward, and Emmett were going to school, but I wasn't.

Pat left and my family made small talk with Pat's family for several minutes. I did a good job hiding my impatience, though I know Edward knew. I gather my bag and both Miranda and Melanie both hug me fiercely. "Thank you Alice," Miranda whispers, "you and your family have been simply wonderful." I smile and hug her back. "I'll check on Pat tomorrow," I whisper back to her. Melanie throws me a wink. She must suspect I'll see him sooner than that. I turn to look at Edward. He nods at my thought. _She ok with that_? I think. He nods quickly in reply. I leave with my family, promising to see Pat's family tomorrow. I'm out of the car as soon as Esme stops the car as soon as we're away from any houses. "Night Alice," Bella says throwing me a wink.

Pat's in Pop's room, packing clothes into boxes. "What are you doing?" I ask, surprised not only at what he's doing, but that I don't startle him. "Couldn't sleep," he says with a shrug. "Have you tried?" I ask. He doesn't respond. "Pat, it's been a long day," I say softly, "wouldn't you feel better getting a good night sleep?" "I feel better doing something," he replies. He moves over to the dresser and picks up a glass that's about one-third full of a brownish liquid. "What's that?" I ask. "Bourbon," he replies. I wrinkle my nose. "How much have you had?" I ask. He never stops moving. "That's my second," he replies. I give him a disapproving look. "Can't sleep," he repeats, "I can't shut my brain off long enough."

I frown at this. Remember this afternoon when I mentioned wanting him _for _him? It's even worse. So much worse I even check my visions. Damn, it wouldn't be pretty. I look up at Pat. His eyes look a little glassy. I bite my bottom lip and watch. He's still wearing his khaki pants, no shirt, shoes, or socks. "Pat," I say softly, "come to bed…please?" He looks up at me. Those eyes…mesmerizing…don't have their usual spark. "Got stuff to take care of," he mumbles, polishing off his glass. "Later," I reply firmly, "let me take care of you for a while." He winces at that. "Please?" I ask again, ready to use my charms if necessary. He stands there dumbly, looking at the floor. I skip to his side and throw my arms around his neck. I look up at him, pouring on the puppy dog eyes.

That wakes him up in a BIG way. He leans down quickly, kissing me. I open my mouth and comply, submitting as much as this body will allow me to. He tastes sweet with a hint of bourbon flavor. He reaches down and puts both hands on my bottom and picks me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. Our kiss deepens as my hand shoot to his hair. I moan softly as he carries me down the hall, across the living room, past the kitchen, into his room, our mouths never breaking synch. He gets to his room and sets me on my feet at the foot of his bed. He bends down and breaks the kiss, only long enough to grab the hem of my dress and pull it over my head.

Before I can even respond, his mouth is back on mine and I can't resist. I feel him move his body back a moment, then a rustle of fabric as his pants fall. He puts a hand on my rear and pulls me to him, only my panties and his boxers separating our mutual arousal. His mouth moves to my neck and my fingers go back to his hair. He towers over me…making me feel small and feminine. I feel the strap of my bra moving off my shoulder and I shiver slightly. He fumbles for a moment, then finally gets the clasp undone. Gods he feels so warm. I drop my arms, letting my bra fall to the floor, and go back to his head. "Pat," I whisper, "we've got to slow…" He picks me up again and lays me gently on my back, lying on top of me.

I know what's happening…and have every intention of stopping it…but the moment I felt the weight of his body on mine and my nipples grazing the coarse hair on his chest I'm powerless to resist. His mouth roughens against my neck and collarbone, his breathing coming in pants and I _love_ it. I whither under him, slithering my only direction of escape: up towards the head of the bed. He moves with me, his hands gliding against my hips and thighs.

My skin is humming underneath him. He grinds against me and I groan into his ear. I know what he's doing. This is first time and he wants it to last as long as possible. More than ok with me. I feel a hand, hesitantly, move up to cup one of my breast and my back arches into his touch. His mouth moves up, kissing my jaw line and under my earlobe. I move my hands, rubbing his back, biting my bottom lip to suppress another groan.

_My vision flashes to us. Same place, same time…but no more clothes. Patrick is still on top of me…inside of me…my mouth open in ecstasy. I can't only see this…I can FEEL it. Damn that boy feels good…snug inside of me…moving with the natural ebb and flow of my body. I climax in my vision and my inner muscles clench involuntarily under him in the present. The vision moves to my face. Eyes coal black…lips pulled back away from my teeth. My orgasm unleashes my nature and my head slams forward into his neck, his sweet blood soothing the burning in my throat._

I push Pat off of me and bolt from the room. I'm out the front door and almost to the wood line before I hear him hit the floor. "Fuck," I hear him curse. I stand in the woods in nothing but my underwear, inhaling the air unadulterated by Patrick's scent in large gulps. I listen for him. He's not moving. I listen to closer. His heart rate is slower than it was a minute ago, but normal. So is his breathing. I didn't even realize I was thirsty! I realize it now…my throat feels like fire-eater at the circus. I hear him groan and stand up, then rustling as he moves around his bedroom. Ok, what am I supposed to do? I can't hunt in my underwear. I mean I _can_…but it's not ideal. I can't go home either. That would be either worse. Shit!

Patrick answers that question for me. I see his screen door open and him set something on the top steps, returning to the house without a word. I give him time to get inside and run to the porch. It's a set of clothes. I snatch them and run back to the woods. It's a pair of his sweatpants and t-shirt. There's also a note pinned to the shirt.

_Alice,_

_Go hunt and come back. I need to make sure you're ok. Please Alice…regardless of what you're thinking me NOT knowing would be worse than that. I love you._

_Pat_

I throw on the clothes quickly and trot through the woods in search of my meal. Despite what just happened…I want to go back. I _need_ to go back. I turn left, letting my instincts track the elk I smell. What was he thinking? Shit Alice, what were YOU thinking? I tackle the elk, drinking it before its eyes even register what the threat is. I keep going wanting to make sure my thirst is under control. I settle for a couple of deer. Would going home be better? No, he's right…he would think the worst, if he's not already thinking it. Ok, I'm going into this blind. I'm not going to sit here, watching the sun come up pondering the problem like Edward would. Pat said we would face this together…so that's what we're going to do.


	31. Chapter 30

CHAPTER 30-ALICE'S P.O.V.

Pat's sitting back on his bed waiting for me, spitting into a bottle. He's still wearing his boxers, but he did put a t-shirt on. He's watching the door, waiting on me to come in. "You ok?" he ask softly. I nod and quickly move to sit on the edge of the bed. Thirst is under control…I think…but I don't think touching him is a good idea yet. "Did I hurt you?" I ask softly. He shrugs. "Bruised my ass a little," he admits, "nothing serious." I frown at this. "I know the risk Alice," he says sternly. "You know the risk and yet you still pushed?" I ask. He nods. "Yeah," he replies simply. "Why?" I ask.

He looks down, cutting his eyes away from me. "I…don't know," he finally admits. We're quiet for a few minutes. "When you wrapped your arms around me in Pop's bedroom…something in my head just…_clicked_." "I wanted you so badly right then…nothing else mattered." "Even your own life?" I ask, shocked. He shrugs. "At that moment…even that."

"Pat you're insane!" I yell. He doesn't look up. "You didn't?" he asks. "Not at that price!" I continue to yell. "You did…didn't you?" he asks, looking up at me. "I was _trying_ to crawl out from under you." I shoot back. His head drops again and I hear him mutter "shit" under his breath. "I thought you were trying to get us both on the bed," he whispers sadly, "that you were ok with what was going on." "Fuck…I'm sorry Alice."

I bite my lower lip. "Pat, don't," I says softly, moving closer to him, "I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it. I'm only saying it was dangerous. If I hadn't had a vision…a very _strong_ vision…I would've killed you." "You don't have to let me off easy Alice," he mumbles sadly, "just let me apologize." "No," I tell him quickly, "Pat…I wish I could show you that vision. Words can't describe it." He looks up at me. "Tell me?" he ask.

I take a deep breath before I begin. "I don't know how much further into the future this was," I admit, "but not far…later on in the night." He nods. "We were lying just like we were…before I ran out." I reach over and though the hem of his boxers. "Nothing between us but opportunity." He smiles slightly at this. "Pat, not only could I _see_ what was going on…I could _feel_ it too. You know what is the most pleasurable thing in this world to a vampire?"

He nods slightly. "Human blood," he says flatly. I nod in agreement. "Pat after seeing and feeling that, there's only one thing I can think of that would top that…. YOUR blood." He looks up at me. "My singer, remember?" He nods. "I…I didn't realize," he says sadly, "we were kissing and I was touching and you were touching and you moaned and I _thought_ you were as into it as I was…" "Pat I WAS," I interrupt, "THAT was the problem." "I was hoping _that_ was the surprise you were talking about," he whispers. I shake my head. "Baby steps…remember?" I point out. He frowns and nods.

"Alice, I WANT you," he blurts out, "more than I've ever wanted someone." "I wanted to take you right here and love you and just fucking forget all the shit that's happened the past few days…even if it's for a little while. That maybe selfish…hell, I'm sure it is…but that's what I wanted right then…and right NOW." Wow. We think more alike than I thought we did. "Me too," I admit, "that exact same thought entered my mind when I came here to get you before the viewing." He smiles slightly at this, one corner of his mouth tugging up. "Glad to know I'm not just an over hormonal teenage boy," he admits. "You are," I tease, "but you're MY over hormonal teenage boy." He rolls his eyes.

"I'm working as fast as I can," I admit, "trust me…you're not the only one suffering." He nods. "Are you going home?" he ask sadly. I shake my head and lie down next to him, my head in his lap. "My home is with you now," I reply softly, "even if my things are somewhere else." He pats my head gently. "Don't ever think I don't appreciate what you're giving up for me," he whispers. "I promise it's less than the sacrifice you make," I reply, "my life isn't in danger." He slides his body so he's lying down and I put my head on his chest. My throat is scorched, but the rhythm of his heart lulls me into tranquility.

______________________________________________________________________

The funeral is just as bad as I thought it would be. Amber cried the entire time, clutching a crying Tori. Miranda cried too, on Melanie's shoulder. Pat, wearing the same black suit I had seen in the vision of my funeral, didn't, though I did see his eyes water several times behind his sunglasses as the preacher gave the eulogy. Pop's casket remained closed, per Pat's instructions. Will and several members of the team carried the casket. Nick sounded wonderful, wearing a suit instead of his kilt. _Amazing Grace _sounded…haunting…as it echoed across the cemetery. I was surprised to see Pat actually mouthing the words as Nick played and Pop's casket was lowered into the ground.

Back at Melanie and Miranda's house was subdued. Pat sat in his chair and didn't say a word to anyone. Amber kept her eye on Tori, who was subdued also. Bella, Esme, and Melanie handle feeding visitors from the potluck buffet people had dropped off. I didn't see Pat eat anything. Maybe I should make him a plate? I make eye contact with Edward, who shakes his head. Pat's going back to school tomorrow and he has none of his homework done…not that he cares. He leaves at dusk. I do the "pretend to go home" thing with Miranda and get another wink from Melanie.

Pat is lying face down on his bed sobbing quietly. I lock up the house and turn on the lights before changing into shorts and a t-shirt. I immediately lie beside him, wrapping my arm around him and kissing the back of his neck. "Pat," I whisper, "it's ok." He stops at the first sign of my presence. "No Pat," I whisper, "it's ok."

He doesn't speak, fighting to pull himself together. "Pat," I say, moving his hair out of his face, "you can be sad with me…I'll comfort you." He turns and looks at me. I have to bite my bottom lip to keep from sobbing myself. "No," he says softly, trying to dry his eyes. "Yes," I reply firmly, "no one is here but me and if you won't do it in front of me…" I let the threat hang. He gives me a hard look.

"Jasper cried," I say softy. His look gets even harder. "I'm not Jasper," he says harshly. "No…you're not," I agree, "but he taught me something. It's ok to cry." Pat doesn't respond. "Jasper was," I say softly, "an ex soldier…ex vampire killer…and in his day one of the most dangerous beings walking on this planet." I take a deep breath and continue: "Jasper was also an empath…he could feel and manipulate the emotions of those around him…but I've told you that. It was what drove him to commit to our "vegetarian" lifestyle."

Patrick snorts at the word "vegetarian" but I ignore it. "If it was ok for 'death on two legs'…as Jacob called him…to cry, it's more than ok for you." I wrap my arms around his neck. "I understand why you put on a brave face for everyone else…your mom, Tori, Amber, and all…but I'm the one person you're allowed to be weak in front of." I put my hand under his chin. "I am here for you," I whisper, "you are my everything. My friend, my confidant, my soul, my lover, and I hope one day my mate." I can see his eyes softening. "Just left me comfort you," I whisper.

He curls against my chest, not speaking. "Pops said he wouldn't die until I was ready," Pat finally says, his voice far away. I stroke his hair and let him talk. "That was his thing you know…he was determined to live long enough to see me 'grow up'." He sighs. "So I'm all grown up I guess," he continues. I understand this better than he would think. "I know a little about that," I offer, "being a grown-up before you're ready." He doesn't respond. "Will you promise me something?" I ask. He looks up at me, his eyes moist. "Promise me you know you're not alone," I whisper. "Yeah," he replies, "as long as you'll make me the same promise." "Deal," I say with a grin as he tilts his head up to kiss me.

This kiss is nice. Tender. Loving without the overabundance of primal need like last night. He moves his body up so that we're eye-to-eye and pulls me close to him. I throw my leg over him in response. I can't help but purr when he puts his hand on my hip. I break off the kiss and grin. "You're going to be alright Pat," I whisper. He nods, but doesn't speak. Instead he kisses me again. I deepen it a little this time, wiping his moist eyes with my thumb.

______________________________________________________________________

School was both a blessing and a curse. It was a blessing because it meant Pat wasn't alone during the day, but a curse because he still had too much time to think. Several student and most of his teachers offer Pat condolences. Pat's eyes seem duller…lifeless. "He's just grieving Alice," both Edward and Bella reassure me, "just be there for him and give him a little time." I listened to my family this time. I spent every moment I could with him either talking to him, helping him with his chores, studying, or just holding him.

He was busy starting Tuesday. Tori stayed with her mom because Pat was hauling cattle to the stockyard every morning before school. "Sooner I get them sold, the sooner I don't have to feed them," he explained. Nights he was packing Pop's clothes to give to charity. He was quiet and subdued during all this, but not crying or angry. I helped by depositing the money for the cattle in the bank since Pat had practice, dropping off the boxes of clothes, and learning to cook. Melanie knew I was there (she called one afternoon) but if she or Pat informed Miranda I don't know. Pat didn't eat as well and slept even worse. I held him every night, of course, and he mumbled and shifted all throughout the night.

Football practice was even worse. I heard it from Will. "Pat's getting his ass banged up," he commented, "the way he's throwing his body around…it ain't healthy." I sighed at this. "Seriously," Will went on, "the dude has always hit hard. This is reckless." "Have you tried talking to him?" I ask. He shrugs. "If Pat don't wanna talk," he replied, "Pat don't talk." He's right. Of course I saw the bruises. The one he came home with Wednesday was the worst. He'd taken a helmet to the ribs and he had a purplish bruise the size of my hand across the right side of his rib cage. I got him to lie on his back and rested my cheek on his ribs to numb it.

Friday the Bears were at home and we had a pep rally. Pat wasn't a captain. The Bear girls whose players were captains got to introduce them during the pep rally. "I heard their saving Pat for week four," Amber commented after the band played the school fight song, "they want Wiley and his team to see the team is behind Pat." I nod as I clap politely to whatever the principal is saying.

I catch Pat in the hall before the team goes for their pre-game meal. "You ok?" I ask, easing close to him. He nods his eyes still dead. "You going to do good for me?" I ask, actually purring it out. He shrugs. "Pat," I whisper as I let my fingers trace along the back of his neck, "you know Pops will be watching, right?" He sighs and nods. I give him a slow kiss on the mouth. That gets a little better response. "Look for me in the stands," I whisper before breaking off. He grabs my hand and holds it for a lingering moment. "Thanks Alice," he whispers. I give him a coy smile. "Welcome," I say as he disappears into the locker room.

I hurry to the car and we speed home. Everyone is going to the game tonight, including Carlisle and Esme. I put on my number three jersey, pick up my surprise sign, and go downstairs. Esme and Bella are wearing one too. "Pat ready?" Emmett asks. I shrug. "He still looks a little sad," I reply, "but I think playing will help." He nods. Bella snaps her cell phone shut. "We're meeting Amber and Tori a little early," she says as she grabs a shopping bag, "let's go."

At the stadium Bella, Tori, Esme, and I go to the stands far side of the stadium. We stop at a seat towards the front near the south end zone. Esme pulls out a black bow and ties it to the back of the chair. Then she pulls out a brown Stetson…Pop's hat. She sets this in the seat. Bella then pulls out another handmade sign that reads "In Memory of Pops" and tapes it to the back of the seat. An old man, sitting one row behind taps Amber on the shoulder, "I'll give the hat to Miranda when I see her at work," he promises, "and no one will mess with it tonight." Amber gives him a smile. She takes two tea light candle and puts them on each side of the hat, then lights them. "That's sweet," says the lady in front of us, "we'll watch to make sure it isn't disturbed." Esme gives her a smile. "Thank you," she says. "We're ready?" Bella ask. With that, everyone goes back to the seats the guys have saved for us.

The Bears come out to warm-up as soon as we get back into our seats. Pat's stalking their half of the field. He's doesn't look nervous…he looks down. "Head in the game Pat," Amber mumbles. "Should we be worried?" Emmett asks. Amber shakes her head quickly. "He'll pull it together," she replies, "he always does." I sigh. I watch him carefully, my breath quickening as I take in that form. I wish I could do something to wake him up, his eyes still look flat. The band has started warming up and Pat is in line stretching. I'm actually bouncing in my seat, earning me a look from Bella. "He's ok Alice," Edward whispers, "just trying to focus."

I watch him as they finish stretching and go back to the locker room. Again the Pledge of Allegiance and 'The Star Spangled Banner'. The band marches off the field playing the school fight song. I just happen to look at where they're sitting. Nick is there, not on the field. He's also putting on his bagpipes.

Edward grins. "Remember I said I would talk to Mrs. Powell?" he asks. I smile. "Just listen Alice," he promises, "he's rather proud of this…and a nice choice Emmett if I do say so myself." Emmett? He grins. "Yeah," Emmett says, "what…didn't think I could pick good band music?" Well, we'll see I guess. The band gets to their seats and immediately begins readying for the next song. The coin toss is done and I can see Pat swearing from the sideline. "Offense first," Amber mutters. "Let's spring the surprise," Emmett suggests. An excellent idea.

I carefully unroll my sign and nod. The kickoff return team is huddling on the sideline. "One…" Edward counts softly, "two…three." "PAT!" we all yell out. He turns, startled. I hold up my sign. Written on a white poster board in red letters with thick black trim are the words 'Take **ME **out Hitman!'. Everyone that turned at my families yelling burst into laughter, cheers, and catcalls. Pat smiles and points to me. I blow him another kiss. I can see his eyes with his helmet off…_my_ Patrick is back. Even Will is laughing from the sidelines. I see him pat him on the shoulder and whisper, "Head in the game Pat." Patrick throws me a wink and turns, putting his helmet on.

The band kicks into "It's A Long Way To The Top (If You Want To Rock and Roll) by AC/DC and I'm impressed. The music, the entire brass section and Nick's solo bagpipes dueling back and forth really sound good. The rest of the band is, no surprise, much louder than he is but that actually makes it better. Nick, playing alone at parts, gives you a David versus Goliath picture…his bagpipes holding there own with the entire band. The music stops and the crowd lets out a thunderous applause. Nick is grinning like Emmett when he finds a grizzly bear.

The offense starts and Sanchez goes out to 'Hero' this time with the same thunderous applause. "The Rams beat us 24 to 3 last year," Amber mutters, "crowd obviously hasn't forgotten." Pat is stuck on the bench. Obviously he's not happy about it. Sanchez, doing what Pat told him and controlling the tempo, drive the Bears down the field and we end up with a field goal. "So far so good," Emmett mutters.

The Bears kick off and the crowd burst into applause once again as Pat takes the field. He looks more like the old Pat and I hope he plays like it. He'll feel even worse if he doesn't. The Rams are obviously a running team and Pat stick closer to the line than usual. The Rams get one first down, then are forced to punt again. The home crowd hasn't stopped cheering. That changes on the next play, when Sanchez is blindsided on a play-action pass and fumbles the ball giving the Rams the ball inside the twenty five-yard line. The defense, including Pat, get caught on a reverse and the Rams are up 7-3. Pat looks pissed. He's stalking, finding Sanchez. "You all right?" he ask the taller Sanchez softly. Sanchez only nods. "Nothings changed," Pat tells him, "stick with the game plan…we'll keep us in it." Sanchez nods as he trots onto the field.

The offense takes it at the twenty and Sanchez keeps it on the ground on first and second down to move the chains. He bootlegs on first down again and hit's the tight end for 15 yards. He then goes back to the run, running a quarterback sneak on third and two to convert. Pat comes in the next set of downs and Sanchez immediately hits him on a crossing route to move the chains again. Pat stays in to block on the next running play, then is pulled out. Sanchez gets the Bears one more first down before being held at the fifteen and the Bears kick another field goal to end the first quarter.

The defense hold true to their word next series and the Rams go three and out. So do the Bears. On the next Rams possession, the get move the chains before they attempt a pass to the tight end deep over the middle…right at Pat. He leaps and makes the interception, but is caught as he comes down from his leap. The 'Hitman' chant starts up immediately. Sanchez fools them on the next down by lining up in shotgun and handing off, netting five yards. He then hit's the tight end for another five, then a sweep play gets us seven. A quick handoff to the fullback gets us three and gives us third and five. Pat comes in and runs a quick "hitch" pattern (Emmett and Amber clue me in) and gets the first down. Sanchez overthrows Pat going deep, but gets another seven on another sweep, then another first down when the tailback breaks through the line for 8. Pat, still in, runs a slant and Sanchez hits him in stride. Pat outruns everyone for the touchdown! 'Hitman' chants again, though just as many are chanting 'Sanchez'. The two-point conversion is good and the Bears are up 14-7. The Rams hold the ball without making much of a dent and we go to halftime.


	32. Chapter 31

(A/N Lemon-ish scene comming up. Just giving y'all a heads up. Also, I'm getting a lot of readers putting alerts up for this story and me personally. I wanted to tell you "thank you". Keep reviewing folks, there's still about 9 chapters to go and I need motivation!!)

**I do not own Twilight...and I'm too lazy to come up with anything clever to put as a disclaimer.**

CHAPTER 31-ALICE'S P.O.V.

We move to the fence at halftime for Pat to have 'Tori Time" as Amber calls it. Pat of course takes her immediately. She hugs him fiercely. I'm beginning to understand. She's attracted to the same thing I'm attracted to…the violence of the game…and how it relates to Pat, but for different reasons. To her, she sees her protector. She sees her older brother in what Emmett called "combat for teenage boys" and it makes her feel safe knowing her protector is the one the other team fears and the crowd loves. Me…well, I've seen combat for real…but I get it. Pat, patrolling the sidelines like a Roman gladiator, makes my breath quicken and my senses tingle. He kisses her on the cheek and leans over to kiss my forehead. Damn…sweaty, with his hair mussed up he looks so damn sexy. BAD ALICE!

The second half pretty much grinds on. The Bears move the ball a little and score another touchdown late in the fourth quarter and the Rams are smothered by Pat, Will, and the rest of the Bear's defense. Afterwards, we stop and get Tori and Amber food. "Do you go to Pat's at night?" Amber whispers to me, thinking no one else can hear her. I shake my head, though I don't think she buys it. "Well, don't forget he's got his 'party' after the game," she whispers. I shrug. I remember. _Too much beer and too much testosterone, _as Amber called it last year. "You never did explain what happens at these things," I whisper back. She shrugs. "They have a spot in the woods…near Pat's house actually…where they build a fire and drink beer and lie about how much they're getting."

I gawk. "Pat does this?" I whisper. "Lie?" Amber asks. I nod. "I doubt it," she says, "I mean if I've ever asked he's told me it was 'none of my damn business'." She huffs at this. "I guess me…and everyone else…just assumed since you two were together…" she lets it drop. I don't respond. I know she's just dying to ask me but I don't bite. Tori finishes her fries and we take them home.

I'm waiting in Pat's bed when he gets home. He has beer on his breath and his clothes smell like a mixture of campfire and cigar smoke but his gait is steady and his eyes are clear. "Hey…you're here," he says happily. I move over to hug him gently. "You did great," I gush. He kisses my forehead again. "I'm gonna get a shower," he says, "wait for me?" "Forever," I promise. He smiles at that. I lay on my stomach on the bed with my feet kicked up behind me while he showers. I think I'm going to have a little fun with him when he gets out.

"So Pat," I begin as soon as he comes out in shorts and a t-shirt, "how was your after party?" He shrugs. "Had three beers…smoked a cigar…and we talked football," he replies. "Oh," I say absently, "So you guys don't beat your chest and lie about how much you're getting?" He smirks and sits in the chair next to his desk. "Not you too," he groans, "you're worse than Amber." I giggle. I can't help it. "She told me that's what you guys do," I say between giggles, "she also said that her and everyone else assumes we're doing it because we're together." He rolls his eyes.

I pretend to pout. "That doesn't bother you?" I ask, poking out my lower lip. He shakes his head. "It does me," I say sadly, "I want to be getting some." "Find a vampire," he says, not amused. I huff and throw a pillow at him at human speed. It still hits him. "I told you Alice," he says, crossing his arms across his chest, "I don't care what people say." I start giggling again. "I don't either," I admit, "I just wanted to put you on the spot." This earns me the finger. "Come here," I tell him, "I'll make it up to you." He comes over and stretches out beside me.

I press my body to him as our mouths come together. Fresh out of the shower, Pat is nearly irresistible. He lets his hands wander, but keeps them on the outside of my clothes. I do the same, my leg wrapping around him and pulling him tighter. My throat is burning, but my body is what feels like it's on fire. "Pat," I whisper, breaking off the kiss, "if you're ready…I want to try something." He takes a deep breath. "What do you have in mind?" he ask. I lower my lashes. "Do you trust me?" I ask in a low, husky voice. He nods. "Lie back," I say softly.

I go into the bathroom and get a towel and a bottle of unscented lotion I found in the living room. I'm guessing it was Amber's. _Sorry Amber _I think. I don't really mean it. I return, turning off the lights as I go. Pat's lying on top of the covers. "What are you doing?" he asks softly. "Close your eyes," I whisper seductively. He takes a deep breath and complies. I take a breath of my own and reach down, cupping my hand and putting it over the front of his shorts.

He stiffens under my hand immediately. "Alice," he says in a warning whisper, "what are you doing?" "Taking a baby step," I purr in his ear, "you with me?" He nods slowly. I swallow the little venom collected in my mouth and ease under the waistband of his shorts. He inhales sharply as I touch him. Wow. He's warm…and hard. "I'm going to pull these down," I whisper, trying to hide my nervousness, "ok?" He nods. I pull them down, lifting the waistband over his now obvious erection. I then squirt a little lotion on my hand.

"It's gonna be cold," I tell him softly, "I'm sorry." He doesn't respond. I know he's trying not to flinch when I wrap my hand around his cock, but he does. "Relax Pat," I whisper as I begin to slowly stroke him, "I'm in control. Let me make you feel good." He inhales a ragged breath and gives one quick nod.

I lean in close, breathing slowly in his ear as I stoke him slowly and gently. "Feel good?" I whisper. "Yeah," he pants. I smile. His entire body is as tense as the part of him in my hand. "You're going to have to relax," I whisper, "just let me do the work." He nods, but his body doesn't relax. I continue to stroke him, concentrating on making sure my hand is well lubricated so I don't hurt him. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. It's not working.

"Talk to me Pat," I whisper, trying to distract him, "tell me all the things you want to do to me." His brow furrows. "I…don't know," he admits after a long pause, "I kind of live in the moment with you Alice. I don't know what to expect…what's even possible." He says this meekly and honestly, almost like he's embarrassed to have me and not know what to do with me. Ok, I need a new plan.

"How about I tell you what I'm going to do to you?" I whisper slowly, purring it in his ear. I bite my bottom lip nervously when I say this. This is going to take some guts. He thinks about it for a moment and I take the time to put a little more lotion on my hand. He finally nods. Now…how do I do this?

"This is a baby step," I whisper, pressing my body closer as I let my hand continue it's slow glide, "you've been so good and so patient I want to give you this." I pause for a heartbeat. "We're going to do that until I'm sure we're in complete control…so you keep being a good boy for me Pat and I'll keep rewarding you." He doesn't smile at this. "You'd rather I was as satisfied as you," I say evenly. He nods quickly. "Of course you do Patrick," I whisper, "so the more we do this…the sooner we can get to the next step. I love how you feel in my hand," I say softly, "you feel so…hard…so…_big_." "You have small hands Alice," Pat murmurs. "I have small _everything_ Pat," I say, holding back a giggle as both his eyebrows shoot up. "Remember, I've already seen and felt what you have in my visions…and I already love it. So don't go doubting yourself…I _love_ what I'm feeling. You want to know the next step?" "Yeah," he says softly.

I take a deep breath and continue before I lose my nerve. "Once I'm in complete control…and you're completely relaxed…I'm going to reach down…and touch myself," I say softly, knowing if I could blush I would be. "Then…I'm going to put my fingers on your lips so you can smell me…and taste me." This makes his heart rate jump up. "It's for my benefit, Pat," I continue, "because I want to know if you like it…if you find me desirable." I bow my head. "To see if you want to continue to the next step. I can't…touch…till I'm in control though…or it might distract me and I could lose control."

"It's venom you know," I add, "when I get wet down there…its venom." "I know," Pat says, opening his eyes slowly, "or…I guessed." "That doesn't bother you?" I ask. He shakes his head. "It's in your mouth too, right?" he ask. "You're mouth isn't dry when we kiss." I nod slowly. "Then I'm sure I'll like it." Now he's blushing.

This is tough. The only other man I've ever been with was Jasper…and he had known what to do. I mean we were both vampires…really no surprises there. Now I'm the one that has to lead Pat by the hand instead of the other way around. If we were human I'd just lead him to bed and we'd figure it out together. Simple. Sex isn't _that_ difficult between two humans…or two vampires. Between us though…it's literally life or death.

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done. I have to guard my bloodlust. I have to guard my strength. Lastly, I have to teach him. Yes, I said teach him. Patrick has openly admitted to me he's never been with a woman, for several reasons. I'll be his first. With that comes responsibility. Not only do I want him to survive…I want him to enjoy this and have pleasant memories to carry with him until we can be together again.

"Feel good?" I ask as I continue to move my hand up and down with slow, easy strokes. He nods. I take a deep breath and continue. "Then Pat, I want YOU to touch me. I'm going to take your hand and guide you down there. I'm going to stay with you…I want to show you all my secrets…what feels good. I'm going to let you explore me…touch me…discover all the secrets of women." He swallows gently. "I know you'll like that," I whisper with a soft smile, "pleasing me I mean." He nods, settling deeper into the mattress. "Then I'm going to let go and concentrate on both my strength and your touch." I smile, looking up at his half-closed eyes. "I can hardly wait for you touch Pat," I whisper, "my body is aching for it now."

I lean over and put my mouth next to his ear. "The next part will be one of the toughest…but besides actually making love to you, it's the part I'm the most excited about." He nods. "Once I'm in control with you touching me, I going to go down and take you in my mouth." His breath freezes in mid inhale.

"It's going to be tough," I admit, "having you warm and hard in my mouth…so close to your blood. I still can't wait." I lower my voice an octave. "Know why?" I don't give him a chance to respond. "I want to taste you…bad," I pant, "to feel you explode on my tongue and in my mouth…just the thought of it makes me tingle." His breathing increases. I've got him. I squeeze him just a little harder and pick up my pace. "I'm craving it you know," I whisper huskily, "it sings to me like you blood does. My throat aches to swallow you."

He's panting now. "You're going to get me doing that a lot," I purr in his ear, "because it'll be the biggest step until the night we actually make love. The good thing for you…you don't have to be gentle with me." I smile at this. "Imagine it for me…you have an immortal being…a vampire…half naked and kneeling in front of you, pleasuring you." I see his hands gripping the sheet tightly. "You warm in my mouth, with your hands in my hair…I want that as badly as you do." I give a mischievous grin. "And once I'm sure I'm in control…you don't have to be gentle." His eyebrows furrow at that. "You can't hurt me Pat," I explain, "I'll let you have complete control. If you want to be a little rough…I'd love that." He swallows hard again. I begin to stroke faster. I've got him right where I've wanted him.

"Then…when I'm in control…I want you to taste me," I whisper, "I want your warm tongue to touch me everywhere your hands do. I want to feel it, rough and wet, against my clit." His breathing increases again and I smile. "The first few times, I'll have my hands beside me, gripping the sheet like you are so I don't hurt you." I see him trying to loosen his grip, but not succeeding. I squeeze his length just a little harder in response.

"But my goal," I purr in his ear, "is to get where I can run my fingers through your hair while you…eat me." He shudders slightly and my smile widens. Taking a chance, I nibble his ear gently. "That stubble on your face brushing against my inner thighs…makes me shudder with pleasure just thinking about it. Then imagine when I am in control," I whisper, "we can do it together. Think of lying like this…one of my thighs on each side of your head while I'm leaned over you taking your hard cock in my mouth."

I actually cover my mouth at this. I didn't mean to actually say 'cock' out loud. "Pat, does it bother you if I say things like that?" He shakes his head. "So if I said 'I'm imagining pressing my hips down while I do this so you tongue can go deeper into my pussy' you don't mind?" He shakes his head again. "We'll talk about it later," he says, his voice ragged and far away like he's fighting to form a coherent thought, "but for now…trust me...it's ok. You can say anything you want." I smile at this. "Ok," I whisper, stroking faster. He was right on the brink before I brought him out of it and I want to push him over the edge.

"Then…after we've pleasured each other with both our hands and our mouths…and I've gained control…we're going to make love," I whisper. We both smile at the same time "I'm not going to show you everything when we're together…because I don't want either of us fully naked until that time. Add to the surprise." He nods. "I'm going to be on top…so I can get away if necessary." Again he nods. "I don't think I'll have to by this point…but just in case," I continue. "Pat I could get off now just _thinking_ about my vision…straddling you, with your…cock…deep inside me. Me grinding my hips against you…it's going to be the sweetest torture." I pull closer to him.

"I have to be slow…I want to be slow…but it's going to call to me like your scent does." His heart has kicked into overdrive." "Think about it Pat," I whisper, "me naked on top of you…being deep inside me…me grinding against you…the whimper that will escape my lips when you bring me to my climax." His eyes, still closed, narrow. "Oh…you will," I whisper, "don't you ever doubt yourself Patrick. I _know_ you'll have me satisfied…you maybe human, but you're more than man enough to see to it." He relaxes. "Think about it," I whisper, "see it in your mind. Think about my breast gliding in front of your eyes…my bottom lip catching between my teeth…my eyes glazing over as I cum." I feel him beginning to throb in my hand. "That's it Pat," I whisper, "cum for me."

Pat turns his head quickly and kisses me roughly, his tongue sliding past my teeth. My breath hitches when I taste him, but I never break stride with my hand. I can feel him panting, his breath ragged from his nose as he continues to kiss me. I go with it, ignoring the burning in my throat. I feel him gasp and his head falls slightly, his teeth catching my bottom lip. He shudders and I quickly maneuver my other arm so I have his head. I don't want him to move. He keeps my lip in his teeth as he moans against me, his whole body shuddering as a rush of warm liquid glides over my hand. He breaks off with his teeth and roots his head over to my shoulder.

I cradle him there as he gasp, his cock still twitching in my hand. I stop immediately. Patrick grabs my wrist and takes control of my hand, moving up and down painfully slow…milking him…his seed spilling around the edge of my hand. I smile as he finally releases my hand after the twitching has subsided. I slowly release him and grab the towel. He pants softly as I work on cleaning him up, trying to ignore the new scent tickling my nose. I've never smelled a human's seed and it's making my mouth water. It's similar to his blood, though not as strong. I wasn't kidding about looking forward to having him in my mouth and now it's even worse.

I clean up quickly and quickly go to lie back beside of him, gathering his head in my arms and kissing his temple. I'm so proud right now of us. We took the step…both of us working through our own hesitations…and became closer. "You like?" I whisper in his ear. "Oh yeah," he says in a tired voice. I'm not surprised he's tired. Between the game earlier and our 'activities' he should be pretty worn out. "You may not believe this," I whisper, "but I enjoyed that as much as you did." He snorts. I kiss him again. "Get some sleep," I whisper, "I'll be here." He shifts slightly in my arms, getting comfortable. "Thanks Alice," he mummers, "that was…amazing." I smile. "I love you Pat," I whisper. "Love you Alice," he says before drifting off to sleep with a small smile on his face.


	33. Chapter 32

**I don't own Twilight. Is this disclaimer really necessary?**

CHAPTER 32-ALICE'S P.O.V.

I have to admit…I had one more secret worry. I was worried that I would start something where Pat would want that all the time. Boy was I in for a shock. He didn't ask, didn't suggest, didn't even HINT at it. I finally cornered him Tuesday night as we're lying across his bed. "Alice," he says gently, "yeah…I LOVED it. I just didn't want to drive you nuts begging." I grin at that. "I have to," I whine, "no more steps till I can do this one." He grins back. "It just _feels_ weird," he explains, "just kicking back…letting you do that…and then…" he lets it trail off.

"But I enjoy it Pat," I continue to whine, "you're depriving me." His jaw drops. "Really?" he asks. I scoff. "Pat…I'm going to tell you a little secret about women," I say with a mischievous twinkle in my eyes, "and you might not believe this…but women DO like sex as much as men." He blushes. "Now lay back," I say with mock sternness. That got him moving.

Both of us were in a good mood when I kissed him goodbye Wednesday morning. That ended first period. Pat wasn't there. I look over and Amber who is looking at me like someone ran over her dog. I don't get a chance to ask her. Office aid's interrupt class three different times to pull students out of class. All of them are football players. I'm literally bouncing in my seat by the time class is over.

I was at Amber's side in a flash. "There was another article in the paper yesterday," she tells me without me having to ask, "so now the school is looking into it." She frowns. "It's just to cover their ass…so they can say they've investigated." I frown. "That where Pat is?" I ask. Amber nods. "Word is they grabbed him in Coach Brooks office as soon as he got there." Amber is so mad I'm surprised smoke isn't coming out of her ears. "That little fucker," she seethes.

"Wiley?" I ask. She nods. "Coach Brooks by standing up for Pat has made it worse…because now Wiley's claiming it's a cover-up." I growl low to myself. "And Wiley's making it a racial issue too," she goes on, "says they're covering up for the 'white boy'." I gawk. "People don't believe that…do they?" I ask. Amber shrugs. "No one in Moscow," Amber replies curtly, "everywhere else…who knows?" "What do you thinks going to happen?" I ask. She stops dead in the middle of the hallway and turns to me. "I think Pat's going to hand him his ass next week," she says through gritted teeth.

I don't see Pat until lunch and you can feel anger radiating off of him. "I heard," I tell him quickly, throwing my arms around his neck. He stiffens for a moment, then returns the hug. "I'm not dirty Alice," he whispers. "I know that Pat," I reply quickly, "no doubt in my mind." He kisses the top of my head and sits down. No lunch, just Copenhagen. "What are you going to do?" I ask him. "I'm going to fuck him up next week," Pat hisses through clenched teeth, earning him a disapproving look from Edward. Patrick ignores him, but I glare back at Edward for him.

Patrick and I discussed our relationship in more detail Saturday…especially the subject of language.

_We were in his bedroom after he got out of the shower. "You said last night we would discuss if anything I say bothers you?" I prompt. He smiles. "I mean what I said," he replies, "you can say whatever you want…it doesn't bother me." I smile as he gets dressed. "So what's there to discuss?" I ask. "Nothing really," he replies as he pulls his shirt over his head, "I just know you and know you would want an explanation and right then wasn't the time." I giggle at that…he's got me there. "Alice," he explains, "I'm THE one 'being' in this world that you can not only be completely honest with, but completely candid. I know Edward thinks we should all be perfect ladies and gentlemen…and he may be so with Bella…but I want to know what you really think. If someone really pisses you off, you can't say 'I'm irritated at them'…that won't work. You have to say "that fucking pisses me off!" so I know." I shrug. "I'm not saying we curse each other like sailors and show not respect," he goes on, "but remember…I want to know what you REALLY think." I snuggle up to his chest when he says that. "I get it," I reply, "because I want the same thing." He kisses the top of my head and pulls me closer to him._

Anyway, that was Patrick and mine's relationship. We agreed to be completely candid. I still wonder what he's going to say when instead of saying "make love to me" I hiss out "fuck me Pat!". I suppress a giggle. BAD ALICE! Edward doesn't have to like it…but I don't want him glaring at Pat for doing something I _want_ him to do. It would be just like Emmett threatening Pat for kissing me…I want, I want, I want!

Patrick is fuming the rest of the day. I'm not happy either, obviously. I go hunting with Bella after school while he's at practice. Tori's been staying more with Miranda and Melanie since Pop's death which is more than ok with me, though I get the feeling Pat misses her being around as much. Bella and I chat about the day. She heard Pat's outburst, though she cut him a LOT more slack than Edward. "I don't blame him," she says evenly, "I would've said the same thing."

My day gets even worse when Bella and I get back to the house to find a strange scent. We barrel into the house to find the rest of the family sitting on one side of the room and a strange man sitting on the other. He's tall, with shoulder length salt and pepper hair. He's very muscular and very tall…though not quite Jacob's size. Maybe more like Embry or Quil. Carlisle makes the introductions. "This is Ken," he tells us, "and he is a Child of the Moon."

Bella grabs me before I can even blink. "He means no harm Alice," Carlisle says softly before I can lunge. Edward's jaw clenches. He's not convinced either. "I have come in peace," Ken says, his accent and speech pattern similar to Edward's. "Please sit," Carlisle says diplomatically, "and let him tell us his story." I move to a chair but Bella beats me to it. She wants to put herself between Ken and me in case I try to rip his throat out.

Carlisle fills us in. "Ken took a great risk today by coming in his human form to speak with us," Carlisle says, "I have assured him he is in no danger." I grit my teeth. I made no such promises. Edward nods at me out of the corner of my eye. "We were about to get started…but we were waiting on you two to join us," Esme adds gently. Bella and I nod. "Please…speak freely Ken," Carlisle says to the stranger.

Ken takes a deep breath. "As your…father?" he looks at Carlisle who nods in approval. "As your father has said, I am what your kind refers to as a werewolf. Like you, I try to blend in with humans as much as possible." He pauses. "I also survive on animals." I shift slightly. "I came here to warn you of danger. Since the destruction of the Volturi, my kind has risen in numbers around Europe and Asia. I live in the Northwest Territory of Canada myself…because of the lack of humans."

He bows his head. "You destroyed a werewolf here during the summer…correct?" Carlisle nods. "He was hunting in our territory," Carlisle explains, "and we can't have humans attacked. It would draw attention to us." Ken nods. "I bore you no ill will Cullen's," he continues, "as thanks for destroying the ones that have nearly wiped out my kind, I have come her to warn you. There is a pack…three at last count…who want revenge." I swallow hard. "You killed one of their members." Great…just great. "It is not my business of course…but I felt my kind owed you at least that."

Edward's eyes narrow. "There's more," he snarls. Ken eyes him back. "I forgot…you're the mind reader." Ken replies evenly. Edward nods. "No matter," Ken says, keeping his composure. "I'm also here to ask permission to hunt." He bows his head. "I hate to kill a human…but my kind's secret must be protected." He looks up, eyes locking on Carlisle. "I am here to hunt the one that got away."

As soon as those words left his mouth, as Pops would've said, "the shit hit the fan". Edward, seeing what I was going to do, leaped over the table to tackle me. Bella, simply by guessing, grabbed me. They both tackled me to the floor. Emmett, seeing Bella and Edward had me, crouched between Ken and us. Carlisle and Esme never move…neither does Ken.

"Unacceptable," Carlisle says firmly. "I will go with our without your permission," Ken replies evenly, "it's either I do this and leave…or the other pack comes, destroys him, and you while they're here." "Bring it flea-bag," Emmett growls, "no one is hunting him!" I'm still struggling under Bella and Edward, my vision tinged by a reddish haze. "Then we will agree to disagree," Ken says, rising to his feet, "I apologize…but I must do this." "Over my pile of ashes," I snarl from under my captors. "Alice," Esme says, moving over to my head, "talk to Ken." "Surely you can make him see reason." I snarl in response. Him roasting in our fireplace is reason to me.

Bella releases me and moves to block the door. "You're not leaving until we discuss this," she says to Ken. Ken is beginning to look shaken. In human form, he is as vulnerable as Patrick is. "We will not harm you Ken," Edward says, still pinning me to the floor, "but you're not leaving until this is settled." Esme continues to whisper into my ear. "You must be calm Alice," she whispers, "for Patrick." I stop struggling. _I'll talk, _I think to Edward, _but he will not leave if he insist on hurting Patrick._ Edward nods quickly. "Let her up Esme," Edward says evenly, "she won't harm Ken." They release me. I stand up and smooth out my dress. "Let's finish our discussion," Edward says, turning to Ken.

Now everyone's seats have been changed. Edward goes and sits in the chair I had next to Bella while Carlisle steers me to his at the head of the table before moving to sit beside me. Esme is beside him. I get it…if I decide to attack again they all want to be in between Ken and me. Emmett moves beside Esme. Ken sits at the far end of the table, clearly nervous now. "I apologize for angering you Cullen's," he says, fighting to keep his voice even, "but you must understand my position. Just like your kind, no one can know of our existence." His eyes narrow. "If you attempt to stop me, you will have nothing but werewolves roaming these mountains until the threat is eliminated." "The boy is no threat," Edward replies evenly, "he knows of our kind as well as yours." "You let him live?" Ken asks, surprised. "Of course," I pipe up for the first time, "he is…my mate."

This stops Ken cold. "Your…mate?" he ask. I nod. "That's how we knew he was in trouble," I explain, "if you've heard of what Edward can do…surely you've heard of my abilities." His eyes narrow. "You're…Alice?" he asks. I nod slowly. He leans back into his chair. "This…complicates things," he says absently. "Not really," Emmett says, speaking for the first time, "both our secrets are safe." Ken shakes his head. "You don't understand," Ken replies, "while I'm more…reasonable…than my brethren…I still understand the need to keep our secret."

He holds up his hand before any of us can speak. "I agree that the secret is safe," he continues, "but as I said…I'm more reasonable than they." Silence engulfs us for several minutes. "Of course I will not harm your mate Alice," he says softly, "though I feel you may have a war on your hands." "Then war is what we'll have," Emmett says evenly. Everyone in my family nods their head in agreement. They know I'll fight for Pat…and they won't let me fight alone.

"I give my word…I will not harm him," Ken says. I look at Edward, who nods. Ken's telling the truth. "I thank you Ken," I say formally, "but I want you to know something." He looks at me thoughtfully. "If you change your mind…I'll see it," I continue, "and if you try…I will light you up personally and dance merrily around your pyre." He swallows. "You do love him," Ken says, seemingly not disturbed. I nod. "Didn't one of your family have a human mate at one time?" he ask absently. Edward nods. "Bella," he says evenly. Ken looks at Bella, then back at me. "Changing him would be a good idea," he says. "When he's ready," I reply. Ken nods. I look out the window. It's getting close to time for Pat to be home. "Go Alice," Edward says with a nod, "we're about finished here." "I'll honor my oath Alice," Ken says, as I rise, "I won't harm him." I give him a grateful nod and hurry out the door.

Patrick is in the shower when I get there. I step out and run the perimeter of his property, not picking up any strange scents…human or otherwise. Patrick is in his room when I return. "We've got trouble," tell him before I even kiss him hello. "What now?" he groans. "My family's gotten word the werewolf that attacked you was part of a larger pack," I explain, "and that larger pack is coming for you…and us." He swears under his breath.

I haven't talked to my family yet…but I have a good idea what we're going to have to do. "Pat…we've got to run," I tell him. "No fucking way," he replies evenly. My head snaps to him, shocked. "Pat," I say evenly, "a pack of werewolves are coming for you." "If I leave," he says, gritting his teeth, "what about Mom? Or Tori?" I huff. He's got a point. The werewolves will pick up his scent around his family and either kill them in case they know or use them to get to Patrick.

"Shit," I hiss. I pull out my cell. "Edward," I say as soon as he answers, "what are we going to do? We can't run." "I agree Alice," he replies through the phone, "they'll just use his family." Damn…why didn't I see that? "Any ideas?" I ask. "We keep Pat's family guarded," he says, sadness obvious in his voice, "it's all we can do." "I don't like it," I grumble. "I don't either Alice," he replies, "but we don't have any other choice." I snap the phone shut. "You're not leaving my sight," I say, turning to face him. He smiles at that. "Not complaining," he says, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling me to him.

I hold him tightly all night. He mutters a lot in his sleep. He's got a lot on his mind. I try to 'see' what's going to happen, but I can't get anything. There are just too many unknowns. Some visions have me and Bella making fake documents for Pat and his family. Others of Pat and I somewhere vaguely familiar. Forks? Still others show Patrick, lying in a puddle of blood, eyes and mouth open, dead. My chest aches at this sight. The final vision I have as the sun starts to rise…the one that's the most clear…is my vision of making love to Pat as a vampire. The same one I've had over and over. I swallow thickly as I hold Pat to my chest. That maybe our only solution.

The rest of the week creeps by. Pat, already sullen about being called a cheat in the newspapers, is even worse after hearing about the vampire attacks. They win their third game 27-7 away and now Pat is has gone from sullen to furious. Wiley is coming to town…with an undefeated Clayton team of his own. The newspapers are calling it the "Grudge Match of the Year". I recheck my visions on what Mrs. Powell is planning. She's still going for it, so I decide to help.

Mrs. Powell's plan is simple: she wants to send a message. Her husband, Coach Powell, is in agreement and plans on helping her. Pat will be a captain and she's going to break protocol and play something when Pat walks onto the field. Something to show the town of Moscow supports Patrick Williamson. Using Edward, I get her to reveal the song to him (which I already know…but we have to leave a trail, so to speak) and I put my plan into action. My entire family conspires to pass the secret to the student body. We whisper, email, and text everyone we know telling them to look the song up and learn the lyrics. It would send a message for the band to play it, but to have four thousand fans singing with it would send an even bigger message. No one on the team is told…we're adamant about that. Patrick doesn't even know. Not that he's worried about it. He's more worried about beating the snot out of Tyrone Wiley on the fifty-yard line.

I send Emmett to watch Pat Tuesday night and Bella, Edward, and I prepare documents for Pat and his entire family. After telling them about my vision…and how I like to be prepared for several possible futures…they agreed it was prudent. We gave them my old last name…Brandon…and made driver's licenses for Miranda, Melanie, Pat and Amber along with birth certificates, social security cards, and even passports for everyone, including Tori. I called Jenks over the weekend and he had the unfinished documents ready Thursday. Bella skipped school to pick them up. Edward was the one that had taught Jasper and I how to finish them, so it was done in one night. Checking my visions, I packed the four females documents, along with five thousand dollars in cash, into a small briefcase. Pat's I kept in my room. I don't know why my visions say do this…but I have nothing else to go on. I'm back and Emmett and I swap before Pat wakes up.

Tyrone Wiley is all in the newspaper the entire week. Pat, on order of his coaches, refuses to comment when asked about anything by the press. The weather is getting cooler. I check my vision. I'll going to 'steal' Pat's letterman jacket. I can't wait!


	34. Chapter 33

**I don't own Twilight. I also don't own any songs by AC/DC, Alice Cooper, or Stone Temple Pilots. I wish I did. In the words of Granny Klump "That Scott Weiland...only white man that ever made me moist"! Anyway, so much for disclaimers.**

CHAPTER 33-ALICE'S P.O.V.

I'm waiting with breakfast Friday morning like a good little Bear Girl when Pat comes out of the house. I'm wearing our uniform, though I've accented it with black stockings that Pat DEFINITELY noticed. I don't give him a chance to comment. "Pat," I say coyly, "why do all the other girls get to wear their boyfriend's letterman jackets?" He grins. "My Bear Girl want to wear my jacket?" he ask. "Please," I say, poking my lip out. He grins and drops his backpack on the porch before going back into the house. He returns with the jacket. I squeal in delight as he holds it out for me to put on. Damn, his scent is even stronger…like it's more embedded in the wool and leather than usual in his cotton t-shirts. I breathe deeply, savoring the burn this time.

Pat eats his breakfast while I drive. I'll admit, it's funny watching tiny little me driving his big pick-up. Emmett had asked if I needed a Seattle phone book to sit on, earning him the finger. We get to school and once out of the truck I immediately take his arm. Someone has put up a 'For Sale' sign beside the door of the school. Over it, handwritten over the corner, white athletic tape with a black marker is the word 'Not'…so the sign says "Not For Sale". On the white part where the price or phone number would be written is simply '#3'. I laughed, but Pat remained quiet. "Wiley is living on borrowed time," he mutters under his breath.

The school is abuzz with excitement. People ask Pat all morning what he's going to do, which he usually replies with a shrug. Amber looks as angry as Pat. "I've never seen him so focused," she comments, "I'm actually starting to worry about Clayton High." I snicker. "Will's pretty angry too," Amber adds, "I'll be surprised if they give up a first down."

Pat eats his slice of pizza for lunch along with half of mine. My family is quiet and subdued the entire time. They can pick up his tension. I keep in contact with him the entire time, either my hand on his arm or my head on his shoulder. "Don't forget I'm introducing you at the pep rally," I whisper. The corner of his mouth tugs up at this. "Like they don't know who I am," he replies. "Pat," Edward chimes in, "have you thought about maybe a…gesture…to show your appreciation?" Pat and I both turn to look at him. "Just a suggestion," he goes on, "but you're usually pretty…emotionless…during the game." "Maybe you should show the town and the school how much you appreciate them?" Pat thinks about it for a moment. "He's right," Bella adds, "I mean…I've heard _nothing _said negatively about this whole situation." "I'll think about it," Pat replies with a nod. I pat his thigh. "Almost time to go to class," I whisper.

I could've said just about anything when I made my introduction as long as I said Pat's name. I decided on theatrical. "Ladies and gentleman," I say into the microphone, "number three in your programs…number one in your hearts…Patrick…'The Hitman'…Williamson!" The student body went crazy. Patrick stood and walked from his place on the bleachers. He got onto the gym floor and, never breaking stride, turned and pointed to the senior class. The students went from crazy to _nuts_! It was pandemonium in that gym with everyone chanting "Hitman….Hitman…Hitman…Hitman!" It was several minutes before everyone could quiet down. Glad Pat was the last one announced. I can't stop smiling.

Pat gives me a quick kiss and a gentle pat on my rear before going into the locker room. I go home with my family. Everyone's hunting but Edward, who's near the school watching Pat. I took his jacket off to hunt, but put it back on as soon as I was showered afterwards. Emmett is the first one ready and he runs to take Edward's place so he can hunt. We only leave Pat alone long enough to meet at home and drive to the stadium.

The signs are out in force when we get to the stadium on both sides of the fence. "Cancel The Hitman's Contract" is the most clever, though I'd like to make the fat, bald guy holding it eat it. The "Not For Sale" sign I saw at school is hanging near the far end zone. My family, along with Amber and Tori, stick close to me. Miranda and Melanie are here, though they don't usually attend. "They don't want people talking," Edward explains in whispers after picking up that thought, "they're afraid to give anyone more ammunition to hurt Pat." I scoff. Pat doesn't care. I know high school is tough enough, but Pat's proven he can handle himself.

I'm bouncing in my seat during the pre game activities again. "It's A Long Way To The Top" is played again, to an even bigger reaction from the crowd. Clayton's fans actually boo, though their band only plays the school fight song. The buzz had been kept quiet around school, though everyone was talking about it. We were ready to surprise Pat. I check my visions. Yep…this is going to work even better than I thought.

The captains are on the sideline when Mrs. Powell takes over directing the band. The student section starts cheering after the first five notes. "Is that 'Dancing Days' by Led Zeppelin?" Carlisle asks. I giggle and shake my head. "No," Melanie says, with a smile on her own, "I recognize that song…Stone Temple Pilots?" I nod. Most everyone her age is singing along, along with a large chunk of the students. Coach Powell is holding the captains on the sideline as the song plays.

_Don't cut out my paper heart, I ain't dyin' anyway  
Take a look at eye full towers  
Never trust them dirty liars  
Sippin' lemon yellow booze 'ole' leadbelly sings the blues  
All dressed up on wedding day keep on trippin' anyway_

Coach Powell keeps his guys on the sideline still. I check my visions. He wants Wiley to hear it ALL. As soon as the chorus hits, EVERYONE in the home stands joins in.

_I am I am I said I'm not myself, but I'm not dead and I'm not for sale  
So keep your bankroll lottery eat your salad day deathbed motorcade_

_Fake the heat and scratch the itch  
Skinned up knees and salty lips  
I'll breathe your life vicks vapor life  
And when you binge I purge alike  
Let go it's harder holding on  
One more trip and I'll be gone  
So keep your head up  
Keep it on, just a whisper I'll be gone  
Take a breath and make it big  
It's the last you'll ever get  
Break your neck with diamond noose  
It's the last you'll ever choose_

The timing is excellent. Coach Powell doesn't send them until the second chorus. What makes it even better is he sends Pat alone to meet the opposing captains. It's no longer a subtle message…it's crystal clear. As Patrick jogs across the field, all four thousand plus people in the stands sing at the top of their voice:

_I am I am I said I'm not myself, but I'm not dead and I'm not for sale  
Hold me closer, closer let me go let me be just let me be_

Patrick only turns once, pointing at the band as he jogs onto the field. That only makes the entire crowd sing the second chorus again…really leaning on both the "I'm not for sale" and the "let me be just let me be" parts. The referee's are obviously uncomfortable. I don't know if there's a penalty for this or not. The song ends and the crowd has never left their feet. Pom-poms are shaking, signs are up, people are cheering at the top of their lungs. "Wiley is a captain," Amber hisses, point at a tall, skinny guy wearing number 17. I freeze at this. The other three Bear's captains, including Will, come out after the music stops to join their teammate. I see Wiley mouth the words "punk bitch" and Pat stiffen. Pat says something back that gets the refs in between them. "This might get ugly," Edward murmurs. The referee tosses the coin and both Wiley and Pat pump their fist. "We know what that means," Amber says with an evil grin. I turn to her and smile. Both crowds begin booing and I turn back to the field. Pat and Wiley are nose to nose, jawing back and forth while the refs try to break them apart. Edward actually winces at their language. The refs order the captains to shake hands. Pat ignores them, turns, and stomps off the field. Clayton's fans boo…Moscow's fans cheer. "What was that all about?" I whisper to Edward. Melanie is leaning in close also. "Wiley told Pat 'you're going down'," Edward explains, "and Pat fired back with 'your mom already has'." Emmett burst out laughing, along with Melanie.

The game starts with a touchback. Pat's on the sidelines getting his final instructions. I'm expecting either "The Imperial March" or "My Hero". Instead, the band hit's the chorus of "Trippin On A Hole In A Paper Heart" again, with the entire student body singing. Pat is in 'Hitman' mode…oblivious to the noise around him. If I could drool, I would be. I take him in, starting with his helmet. No, I can't see him…but when he takes it off it gives him that disheveled look like he's just crawled out of bed after…BAD ALICE! I take in the shoulder pads and jersey, his armor. The black sweatbands under his elbows, the black gloves. Down his pants. I don't care what Emmett says…he has a cute butt. I go down his legs. What's that? He has a neoprene sleeve around his left knee. I knew it was hurting him…but the knee protection is new.

First down is a running play that only gains three yards. Second down is the same. Number 17 comes into the game on third down. Both receivers line up on the far side, Wiley on the outside. The inside man runs about ten yards, then cuts over the middle. Wiley runs the same pattern, only running out fifteen yards instead of ten. Clayton's quarterback throws a bullet to the inside receiver but Pat is there to knock it away. The crowd burst into cheers, which are silenced almost immediately when Wiley blindsides Pat after the play.

It was a nasty hit. Wiley's helmet connected with Pat's right around the left ear hole, knocking Pat flat. The boos ring out from our stands. Pat is slow getting up…very slow. I'm cringing in my seat. "That's not good," Amber hisses. I turn to gawk at her, surprised to see Edward is nodding in agreement. Will is helping Pat onto the sideline. "Is Pat ok?" I ask. "I think so," Amber says, her teeth still gritted, "but I wouldn't want to be wearing number 17 the next series." Sanchez only gets the Bears one first down before they're forced to punt. Pat stands up to go back out. Coach Brooks is asking Pat if he's ok. Pat nods in reply before turning my direction. I can see those eyes. Pure fury. Pat is the last one on the field as the band breaks into "No More Mr. Nice Guy".

Needless to say, Pat didn't wait long. The Wildcats, thinking Pat was still groggy, lined up in shotgun and attempted a pass. Wiley runs the same pattern as last time…fifteen yards up the field before cutting over the middle. His quarterback throws high and Wiley leaps, making a spectacular catch. It's short lived. He attempts to tuck the ball in before his feet hit the ground only to be leveled by Pat while still airborne. Pat hit him on the way down, helmet to helmet, knocking the ball from Wiley's hands before his feet can touch the ground. Wiley's hit was nasty…Pat's was _brutal_. Pat immediately jump to his feet when they hit the ground, ready to protect himself. Wiley isn't moving. Flags are flying for the illegal hit. Pat lifts his facemask slightly and spits on the ground, dangerously close to Wiley, before mouthing something I can't make out. This earns more whistles and more flags. Damn! Fifteen yards for the illegal hit and fifteen more for unsportsmanlike conduct. Coach Brooks pulls him from the game. Pat walks confidently back to the sidelines, the coach steadily chewing him out as he walks. He gets to the bench and sits down. "What the hell were you thinking Pat?" Coach continues with his tirade. "He knew it was coming," Pat replies evenly. I turn to Edward. "What did he say on the field?" I ask Edward. His jaw sets, but he doesn't respond. Emmett does. "It sounded like 'punk bitch'," Emmett replies, fighting to hold back his grin.

Wiley is out on the field almost five minutes before he's revived. He walks off the field under his own power, though his legs looks rubbery. The Clayton fans cheer, the Moscow fans are silent. With Pat on the bench, Will fires up the defense and they hold the Wildcats to a field goal. Sanchez and Pat are talking on the sidelines. It doesn't look like Pat will be going in on offense. Sanchez and the offense take the ball on the twenty and methodically march eighty yards down the field for a touchdown to end the first quarter.

Pat's still on the bench at the start of the second. Clayton, with their big play receiver still on the bench recovering from the hit, stick to trying to run the ball. It's no use, Coach Brooks stacks everyone near the line and they're held without a first down. Sanchez comes in and marches the Bears down the field again for another touchdown. The Bears go back on defense and continue to smother the Wildcats. They make one first down before halftime.

Edward, Bella, and I take Tori to the fence to see Pat at the fence. I get to him first, though I usually reserve this for Tori. "You alright?" I whisper as he gets there. He nods. "That was a cheap shot Patrick," Edward says. Patrick glares back at him. I turn his face back to mine. "Just be careful," I whisper. He nods, then takes Tori from Bella. She of course quickly wraps her arms around Pat's neck. "Hit me pretty hard?" he whispers in her ear. She shakes her head and looks up at him with his matching blue eyes. "He can't stop 'The Hitman'," she says firmly. Pat smiles and kisses her forehead. "I gotta go," he says, passing her back to Bella, "I'm already in the doghouse."

The Bears return the kick-off to the eighteen to start the second half. Pat comes in the game. The Bears start off with a little razzle-dazzle. Sanchez pitches to the tailback on the sweep, who hands off to Pat running the opposite way on the reverse. The defense bites. Pat…a former quarterback…makes it to the opposite side of the field, pulls up and throws to a wide open Sanchez running down the opposite sidelines. "Quarterback throwback," Edward mummers. Sanchez stops running at the five yard line and walks into the end zone. The rout is on. The Wildcats…confident when they walked on the field earlier…are now hesitant. Pat could've stood in the middle of the formation with his shoelaces tied together and they would've tried to avoid him. Seeing your 'star' receiver getting laid out will do that to you, I guess. Wiley never comes back into the game. Clayton's quarterback fumbles on the next series and Sanchez drives the Bears into the end zone for another touchdown. Patrick sacks the quarterback on a safety blitz on third down next series and the Wildcats punt to end the third quarter.

Pat's on the bench as the fourth quarter start. Nothing happens with the younger players on the field, though they don't give up any more points. Pat actually looks angry, stalking the sidelines and staying right behind Coach Brooks. "He wants back in there," Edward mummers to me, "he doesn't think he's proven his point." I sigh. "He's angry Alice," Edward explains, "Wiley not only hurt his chances of going to college…he questioned his honor." "He doesn't have to kill him," I whisper back. Edward nods in agreement.

I'm waiting for Pat at his house after the game. He'll need something to calm him down…and I got just the cure for what ails him. BAD ALICE! He's later than usual and that's only fueling my anticipation. I'm smiling to myself as I get a vision.

_Pat's walking down the road. Well…stumbling is a better word for him. His eyes look a little glassy. Drunk? Yeah, looks like it. He falls, muttering and cursing. I see him curse again as his scraped palms as he drags himself slowly back to his feet and continues to stagger home._

I snap back out of it. Great. I ponder my options. Screw it, I'll go get him. I head down the road, sniffing as I go. I find Pat about a mile from the house. "Pat," I whisper, scaring the hell out of him. He ends up falling on his backside at the sound of my voice. "Shit Alice," he grumbles. "Little tipsy, huh?" I ask, putting my hands on my hips. "A LOT tipsy," he says back, stumbling to get to his feet. I help him up. "Where's your truck?" I ask. He points back behind him. "Where are your keys?" I ask. "In it," he slurs back. I roll my eyes. "Wait here…I'll go get it," I tell him. He doesn't respond. "Pat?" I ask. "Go Alice," he says finally, sinking back to sit on the side of the road. I check my visions. He'll be alright until I get back.

The truck is parked at the edge of a clearing another mile or so from the house. Keys are in it just like Pat said. No complications getting it back to him. He's sitting on the edge of the side of the road right where I left him. He rises up slowly when I get there. "Hop in," I order, trying to keep the edge out of my voice. I don't want to be angry with him. He's young and doesn't know any better. At least he had the good sense not to try to drive. I wonder how this will affect him. Will he be teary? Horny? Angry? I ponder this as I drive. Pat's got his head leaned out the window. "Pull over," he says weakly. I lock the brakes up as he opens the door, nearly falling out before he throws up. I wrinkle my nose. "You ok?" I ask. He nods weakly, then heaves again.

I wait till he's finished and the door closed before I drive the rest of the way back to his house. "How may?" I ask. He shrugs. "Lost count at six," he mutters. I put the truck in park and hurry around to help him out. "You need a shower and a toothbrush," I comment, "then you need to sleep this off." "Yeah," he grumbles his eyes far away.


	35. Chapter 34

(A/N I'm going to try and get the rest of the story out and be done with it. There's another 'M' rated scene in here...just a heads up. There's six more chapters to go. A sequel was planned but I don't know now. I don't know if it's my writing or the fact I paired Alice with someone besides Jasper but the response has been less than I expected. Anyway, I won't leave those of you reading hanging. Keep the faith!)

**Don't own Twilight.**

CHAPTER 34-ALICE'S P.O.V.

I steer him to the bathroom and get him some clothes, waiting till I hear the shower running before I slip in and lay them on the counter. I don't look…in keeping with our agreement, though I want to. I do keep my ears on him, in case he falls. He doesn't. I sit on the edge of the bed to wait when I hear him getting out. I can't help but wince as I hear him gag brushing his teeth. He comes out on wobbly legs, drying his hair with a towel. I move over so he can sit beside me. He flops down on the bed instead. "Sorry Alice," he grumbles. "You ok?" I ask. He groans. "I'd be better if the room would stop spinning," he replies, rolling over on his back and throwing his arm over his eyes. I can't help but smile at that.

"So why'd you do it?" I ask. "Don't vampires ever do things without thinking?" he replies. "Yeah," I admit, "though there's usually an underlying reason." He snorts. "I was celebrating with my boys," he replies, "they really came through when Brooks pulled me out of the game…and Sanchez looked like a superstar." "You celebrate by drinking beer until you throw up?" I ask. "Can vampires throw up?" he ask back. "Cough up if we have to eat something…but I've told you that," I reply, "but as far as feeding…we can eat till we're uncomfortable…but I've never seen one throw up." "I'm human Alice," he replies sadly, "it was a bad idea…I admit it." I move to lie beside him. "I'm not complaining Pat," I say, leaning my head on his shoulder, "other than wanting to make sure nothing more is wrong."

"I love you Alice," he mummers. "That's wrong?" I ask. He shakes his head. "Just wanted you to know that," he says softly. "Then why are you suicidal?" I ask him. He gives me a funny look. "Pat," I reply, trying to keep any bite out of my voice, "walking down a dark road alone…when we're on the look-out for werewolves…" I let it drop. "I told you," he says softly, "like I said…I didn't think it through." I run my hand over the back of his head. "Promise me you will from now on?" I ask. He's silent for a moment. I'm beginning to wonder if he's fallen asleep. "I will if you kiss me," he teases. I lean over him and give him a quick peck on the lips. He's got other plans. He puts his hands on my hips and guides me on top of him. Even with the taste of beer and toothpaste I want him. What I want has to take a backseat to what's safe though. "Pat," I warn, breaking off the kiss, "we both need to be in control to do this." He groans. "It's kind of hard to be 'normal' teenagers if we don't do things on the spur of the moment," he prompts. I lean down and peck him on the lips again. "Drunken sweaty sex would be fun," I agree, "but too risky." He snorts. "I'm serious," I say sternly, "you overestimate my self control." "Is it really 'drunken sweaty sex' if I'm the only one drunk…or that can sweat?" he ask. I giggle and smack his arm gently. I nuzzle against his neck as his breathing regulates. I can't help but smile as he finally drifts off to sleep.

______________________________________________________________________

The Bears win their next two games easily and Homecoming on week seven is everything I hoped for. Pat was happy because he didn't have to be in the parade. I rode on the 'Bear Girls' float while Carlisle and Esme watched Pat from afar. Pat was actually pulled out of the game at halftime because the Bears were ahead 42-0. Afterwards we went to the semi-formal dance the school had where Pat held me close and we danced every slow dance. It was easy to forget my troubles in his arms.

We took our 'next step' that night. Once we got home and ready for bed, I straddled him and kissed him gently, letting it build. He rests his hands on my hips and gives me both time and freedom to move. He doesn't notice when I slide my hand down between my legs and silently tug my panties to the side. He knows something's up when I shiver as my middle finger parts my sex gently. If the shiver didn't give it away, the gasp I gave as the back of my hand brushed his arousal did. "You ready?" I whisper as our mouths slowly move away from each other. He nods. Now I'm nervous. I mean, what if he doesn't like it? What if the reason their's not more vampire/human relations is because _that_ part of us isn't as alluring as the rest of us? To put it bluntly: what if it smells bad to him? Taste and smell are two very closely related senses…so what if…Oh Gods!

I shake it off before I can talk myself out of it and gently place my middle finger on his bottom lip. "Wow," he says, "it smells like…_you_." I can't help it…I roll my eyes. I know he can't see it in the dark, but like I said I can't help it. He surprises me by taking my finger in his mouth. "Yeah," he says after releasing my finger, "I want more of that." I smile at that. "My turn," he says, rolling me over. I let him. Why shouldn't I? I can't help giggling as he pulls at the waist of my panties, obviously excited. Hell, so am I. I lift my hips up and let the silk slide down my legs. He inhales sharply, then stops. "Pat?" I ask, looking up at him. He swallows thickly. "Pat?" I ask again. He doesn't respond with words. Instead he lays beside me, kissing my neck gently. I can feel the tension rolling off of him and like he always does, he's ignoring it and pushing ahead. I sigh happily. "Nervous?" I ask softly as his lips gently caress my neck below my ear. I hear a pause in his breathing, but not worded response. I take his hand and put it on my stomach, placing mine on top. "Talk Pat," I whisper, turning to nuzzle his jaw line with my nose. "I…," he stammers, "I…don't know what I'm doing," he admits in a rush. I smile. "I'll help you," I whisper, reaching over with my free hand to touch his cheek.

Gently I ease both our hands down my stomach. Pat surprises me by freezing right at my pubic bone. "You…you have _hair_?" he ask, clearly surprised. I can't help it, I raise my head up so he can see my face in the dim light and give him a "No shit Patrick" look. "Sorry," he says, so embarrassed I'm surprised he can choke the words out, "more vampire lore…thought you couldn't grow any below your head." I relax. I knew this was going to be a teaching case. "We can…slowly," I explain, "we probably have to shave our legs once every decade or so." "My hair," I take my hand off his cheek to run it through what's on my head so he knows what I'm talking about, "was completely gone when I was first changed." "They shaved it off in the asylum." "Ever since, I've hated to cut it." "I was going to…do something…with 'down there', but I didn't know what you would like…so I just trimmed a little." He smiles at that. "Leave it," he says quickly. Huh, I'm surprised. "You don't want it smooth?" I ask. He shakes his head. "_Girls_ don't have any…_women _do," he says, his eyes twinkling. I can't help but smile back. "You ready?" I ask. He nods.

He curls up beside me as I let both our hands slide downwards. "Once I turn you loose," I explain, "don't worry if I don't touch you." "I'm only trying to keep myself in check." He nods. "But I can touch _you_, right?" he whispers in my ear. I nod. "If I say 'stop'," I continue, "that means stop right NOW." He nods in reply. I can feel his hand shaking slightly under mine. "You can't screw this up Pat," I whisper, "trust me…you're going to be great." Our hands reach their destination and after taking in a long, slow breath, I guide Pat's finger to part my lips gently.

"You're…_warm_," he breathes in my ear. I smile. Truthfully, I didn't know what to expect with this. "Just follow my lead," I whisper, closing my eyes slowly as I guide his fingers with mine. I may feel warm to him, but I'll bet he feels even warmer to me. "You've heard of a G-spot?" I whisper. He nods. I bend his middle finger slightly and run it across it, "we'll there is it." He runs the pad of his middle finger gently over the area, as if memorizing it. I see a problem. Not an immediate problem, but a problem none-the-less. Pat's fingers don't move anything inside of me. Let me explain. For argument's sake, if Pat punched me in the face, or tried to kick my leg out from under me there would be no give. That concept works for my entire body. He's not overly endowed (though I can't help the venom collecting in my mouth as I think about his…BAD ALICE!) but big enough that if my body doesn't give, it can't receive either. Shit, I need the Denali sisters. They would know what to do.

I shake that thought from my head and gently guide his finger up, my body clenching as he finds my long neglected bundle of nerves. "Right there," I whisper huskily, letting him explore my clit like he had the rest of me. I let him feel around until his finger begins to produce friction again and I guide him back inside of me, letting him sweep my G-spot before bringing his once again wet finger out and back to my clit. "I'm going to let go now," I whisper before taking my hand away. He freezes as soon as I release him. I can't help but chuckle. "Pat," just do what feels natural," I whisper, grazing his cheek. He kisses the palm of my hand and I settle down to see what he's going to do.

He's what I expected: shy…clumsy…hesitant. "Relax," I whisper, "you're doing fine." Ok…I'm lying. I'm getting frustrated. I don't know why I am, I expected this. Guess twenty years of pent-up desire will do that to a being. He's moving again, and I try to concentrate on it. _Come on Pat….you can do it_, I think. He's barely breathing as he fumbles around there. I feel him press his body close and I close my eyes, enjoying his warmth if nothing else. Am I going to have to fake it? No, no, no! I don't want to fake it! I never had to fake it with Jasper. I feel horrible the moment that thought crosses my mind. I mean, Jasper only had over 150 years of experience over Pat. Did I push him too soon?

That question is answered when Pat does a slow circle around my clit and my hips roll involuntarily beneath his touch. He dips back inside of me and does it again, causing me to shudder slightly. "There we go," he whispers as his finger does another lap in the opposite direction. He brushes my button again, this time with his fingernail and I gasp. There we go is right! He presses his body against me tighter as he continues to stimulate me, focused on nothing but my pleasure. My hips roll again and he applies a little more pressure. I bite my bottom lip in response to keep from crying out. I want to shout into the heavens. He keeps going, alternating the area he touches, concentrating intently on my reaction. Gods, he is WONDERFUL! He presses down a little firmer and I can't keep my whimper in check. This gives him confidence and he begins to speed up.

That was all he needed…a little confidence. He continues to rub and I begin to wither under his hand. Now our situations are reversed. Instead of Pat focusing on trying to figure out what I want he's in control and my body is responding. He presses down a little firmer and slips to the underside of my clit. It's all I can do to keep my head from exploding. He pulls away quickly and I whimper again. "Not yet," he whispers in my ear. He's found my most sensitive spot and he knows it. He dips into me again, roughly caressing my G-spot. He's playing me like an instrument…like Edward playing the piano. Did I just think of my brother? Ugh. Pat presses my clit between his finger and my body and that thought is GONE. It's ironic. Here I am, the nearly indestructible being, this _human_ in complete control of me, and I LOVE it. I can feel my whole body shake as I get closer

Pat leans over and kisses the side of my neck as I wither under his hand. His lips send a tinge of electricity across my nerves from my neck to the pit of my stomach. It adds to the electricity his touch is sending from the opposite direction. I feel his breath in my ear as he nibbles my earlobe. "Open your eyes Alice," he whispers. I comply as he presses a little firmer and speeds up. He smoothes out my hair with his other hand. "Good?" he whispers. I can't do anything but nod and swallow back venom. My thirst is in control, but I can't say that about the rest of me. I stare into his eyes as he places a hand on my cheek and turns my head so he can see me through the dim light coming through the window. I'm panting at this point and it's all I can do not to squeeze my thighs together. He touches that sweet spot again and I can't stop from crying out. The sensation hits me like a wave. I bite my bottom lip as he continues. It doesn't take but a few more seconds before my climax hits me.

It feels like…cliff diving in reverse. Instead of the euphoria of free fall followed by the harsh plunge of hitting the water, there's the hard plunge as the sensation pushes me over the edge followed by the wave of euphoria. I have to fight to keep my eyes on Pat, not snap my head back as my body convulses. I can see my reflection in his eyes: my bottom lip snug between my teeth. My eyes…moments ago pitch black…now glazed over. "S-s-stop," I cry as I'm hit with a second wave, even stronger than the first. I grip the covers under me tightly and hold through the plunge but I quickly reach to snatch his hand away in case I lose control as my body is wracked with more convulsions.

His hand is gone. He listened to me. I let my muscles clench up, then relax as I pant beside him. I'm on top of him before either of us even realize it, kissing him roughly and grinding against him. He's frozen underneath. I break away quickly, realizing how it seemed. "Pat…that…was…WONDERFUL!" I gush. I can't help but smile at the look of his face. Not smug…proud. "That good?" he ask, skeptically. I nod and begin kissing him. Seeing I'm in control, he returns the kiss, his hands on my bare hips. I break away and his mouth goes to my neck. "I've _so_ got to hunt now," I pout before I'm lost in the sensation of his mouth. He sits up and pulls me closer. I can feel my bare sex against his boxer-clad arousal and it almost sends me into another convulsion. His hand move to grip my ass. "That's so not fair," I whisper, wrapping my arms around his neck. It's not. I want him so bad right now…even after that release…it would be funny if it wasn't so sad. I put my hands on his shoulders and gently push him onto his back. "I'm serious Pat," I warn, "I need to hunt." He groans under me. "But I want to go again," he whines. I can't help but giggle.

"I'm _serious_ Ali," he whispers, pushing my hair out of my face, "that was…" "Incredible?" I prompt. "Exactly," he agrees. I snuggle against his chest. "Tell me why?" I ask. "I mean," I continue, "I know why I thought it was…but why do you think that?" He pauses. "I will if you promise to correct me if I'm wrong," he replies. I turn my head so I can see him and nod. "I get it now," he begins, "I didn't at first…why you were so eager to do that to me." "Now I understand." "When I had you…responding to my touch…that look on your face when I…pushed you over the edge…was…like nothing I've ever experienced." I smile at that. "I'm _serious_," he says, his eyes narrowing. "I believe you Pat," I soothe, "it just means you're doing it right."

I stand up and find my underwear on the floor. Patrick gives me a wolf whistle when I bend over to pick them up. I can't help but wiggle my butt at him in response. I slip them on, then rummage around for some sweats. "I hate to Pat, but I've got to hunt," I tell him as I quickly dress. "I know," he says absently, lying right where I left him, "going home afterwards?" I scoff. "Not a chance," I say, sitting on the edge of the bed to tie my shoes. I turn and crawl next to him, then lean over to kiss him gently. "I want you asleep when I get back mister," I tease, "and tomorrow I'll make you breakfast." He smiles at this. I bite my lip shyly. "If I do good…will you do that again in the morning." His smile widens. "I would love to," he promises. I give him one more kiss, then call Bella.

"Yes, I'm near the house…no, I didn't hear anything…and yes, I'll keep an eye out while you hunt," she says as soon as she answers the phone. I can't contain my giggle. "I'll come back as soon as I hunt," I promise before hanging up. Pat is drifting off already. I kiss his cheek. "I'll be back," I whisper before going out the window.


	36. Chapter 35

(A/N Apologies in advance to any folks not fans of American Football, but I had to get this out. Five chapters to go. Need reviews!!!)

**Don't own Twilight.**

CHAPTER 35-ALICE'S P.O.V.

"70% of the Earth is covered by water…the rest is covered by The Hitman!" was Emmett's sign on week 8. I saw my first college scouts in the stands. They got good seats! There were half a dozen of them, wearing sweatshirts and jackets from all sorts of places: Alabama, Wisconsin, Duke, Boise State, Miami, and Michigan. I got Edward to pick their brains. "Michigan is mainly interested in Will," he explained, "though they like Pat…especially since he can play both sides of the ball. Alabama REALLY wants him because they take pride in their defense…most SEC schools do…and he's earned a reputation as a feared hitter. Boise wants him as bad as Alabama because he lives here…even though they know he was born in the South. Wisconsin, Duke, and Miami just want to see what the fuss is all about."

Pat played his usually wonderful self, the Bears thumped the Warriors 35-7, and I spent the night at Pat's house being 'Bad Alice'. I was finally beginning to think I had the blood lust under control. The burn in my throat was only annoying when I hadn't hunted and most of the time it was just a tickle in the back of my throat. Another good thing: Homecoming night was a full moon and no werewolf sightings. Excellent!

Our routine was down and I was very comfortable with it. I stayed with Pat at night, leaving as he was getting ready for school. I went to school with my siblings. Pat would meet with Coach Brooks before school to watch game film. We went through the day, close but not overdoing the PDA. I would go home and spend time with my family while Pat was at practice (if I wasn't hiding in the woods keeping a lookout for danger). I liked it when Emmett had "guard duty" because him and I both would watch practice like regular humans. I would be waiting for Pat when he got home between six and seven. He would shower and eat, then we would handle homework. Homework has gotten ridiculous the past twenty years! Bedtime was our time. I'll admit part of it was me wanting to get comfortable controlling myself, but if I said that was all I'd be lying. I _want_ him and the sooner I get myself under control, the sooner I can have him.

Week 9 was the closest game the Bears had all year if you can call a 17-7 victory close. Sanchez was sacked in the second quarter and injured his shoulder. His replacement, a freshman named William Allison, was inexperienced and it showed. Sanchez had put up the seventeen points and Pat, Will, and the defense held. Pat wasn't in a good mood that weekend. "I'm going to be taking more snaps under center next week," he grumbled, "since I have more experience than 'Billy the Kid'." He didn't like it; it meant he would be pulled from his normal safety position. The Bears have more players that could play safety than they had that could play quarterback though so Pat was going to do what he had to.

Week 10 was the last regular season game and would decide if the Bears got home field advantage first round of the playoffs. It was also Senior Night, which meant the senior class and their parents were introduced before the game. Against Patrick's wishes, Miranda was the only one introduced as his parent…not Melanie. They didn't want Pat to have to deal with anyone saying anything…not that Pat gave a shit. I stayed out of that argument. Sanchez was back, though he threw less than twenty passes and was yanked in the fourth quarter. Allison got some more work, though he didn't move the ball much. Pat came in on the Bears last series and got three first downs to run out the clock. Final score: Bears 21 Cougars 0.

Patrick was a nervous wreck the following week. Not only was this a playoff game, it was a full moon. "Fucking werewolves," he grumbles Sunday night. I sigh. I can't help it…he's killing my buzz. The boy's got magic hands and I was snuggled up on his chest enjoying post-orgasmic bliss when he muttered that. "Pat everything is ok," I whisper, drawing circles on his bare chest with my finger, "there's been no sign of the werewolves…and we're still watching. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He grimaces. "Nothing?" he asks. I look up at him and shake my head. "No scents, no sightings, no visions, no word," I reply, "Pat you have enough to worry about." I raise up and kiss him gently on the lips and let my hand slide under the sheet to take him in my hand.

His nervousness lasted until Friday, then he went into 'Hitman' mode. Sanchez, still injured, got the Bears two touchdowns. Pat was able to drive the Bears to two field goals and Allison, while didn't score any points, at least was able to move the ball a little to give the defense time to rest. Their first playoff game they won 20-7.

Emmett and Edward did smell werewolf around our house that night (I found out the next day) however none were spotted. This bothered us all. It was like they were planning something. The second round of the playoffs, Sanchez was viciously sacked again in the second quarter. Coach Powell didn't hesitate this time…he sent in Pat. Pat played conservatively, keeping the ball mostly on the ground and controlling the clock. The Bears had a 10-0 lead in the fourth quarter before Allison got his shot. Once again, it wasn't impressive but he didn't lose the game for us either.

The Bears had to travel in the quarterfinals to play the Hawks. Sanchez, his shoulder still aching, sucked it up and started and actually played the first three quarters. The Bears won that one 21-3 and the newspapers were beside themselves. There was only one other team besides the Bears undefeated so far but Moscow not only scored more points than anyone else, they gave up the fewest. Even with Sanchez injured, the Bears were the favorites to win it all. Pat hated that…he would rather be the underdog.

The semi-finals looked more like war than football. Pat limped off the field after the second defense series after jamming his knee, then was forced out the next series after a helmet caught him on his chin and split it. Carlisle actually came down out of the stands and put four stitches into the cut. I could smell his blood, but it didn't bother me. I was over it…I think. Amber had to look away when a trainer had to pop one of Will's dislocated fingers back into place. Sanchez, regardless of the hits he was taking, refused to stop even though it looked like he was having trouble lifting his arm. The score was 7-3 at halftime.

The third quarter was almost the Bears undoing. Sanchez was hit deep in Bear's territory and fumbled, which was recovered by the defense and ran back for a touchdown. His tore his rotator cuff during the play and his season was done. Allison was put in the game and the Bears went three and out. Pat was furious. He had a large Band-Aid across his chin to cover the stitches and was pacing behind Coach Powell, anxious to get in there. On the next offensive series, Allison threw an interception and it was run back to the Bear's twenty. The defense held them to a field goal. Now Moscow was down 17-7 halfway through the third quarter. Pat, ignoring trainers, coaches, players, and the crowd stormed off the field and grabbed a couple wide receivers. They went behind the bench and Pat started warming up his arm. It's a good thing too, Allison got a total of three yards on first and second down when Coach Powell called time-out and put Pat in.

Third down, Pat bootlegged, tucked the ball, and ran for the first down. He then proceeded to march the Bears down the field like a man possessed to end the third quarter and pull the Bears to within a field goal.

The entire home side of the field…players, coaches, fans, band, cheerleaders, even the people in the concession stands…held up four fingers at the start of the fourth quarter. This was the first time the Bears would have to come behind this late in a game all year…and they would have to do it with their third string quarterback. "This is why I watch football," Emmett comments, "also why Jazz did." I nod slowly, not taking my eyes of Patrick. He turns towards the stands and our eyes lock. Those piercing sapphire blue eyes show nothing but determination. I give him a shy smile and bite my lower lip, thinking about how he looks in those clothes. He throws me a quick wink before turning back to the game.

Pat led the offense out onto the field trailing 17-14. They have 7:34 to go on the clock and the ball inside their own five-yard line. Pat throws a slant on first down to get five yards. On second down a quick handoff nets three. Pat uses his feet on third down, the bootleg that had worked so well for him in the past to get seven yards and get out of bounds to stop the clock. He lines up on first down, audibles, and throws a ten-yard pass to a receiver running a hitch. They hurry to the line and Pat pitches to the tailback on the sweep for seven more. On second down the fullback barrels up the middle for the first down. Another pass to a receiver running a hitch route gets them to midfield. There is 4:49 left on the clock.

The opposing team calls time-out and Pat jogs to the sideline. "They're trying to break his rhythm," Emmett comments. Coach Powell looks composed on the sideline as he points to a laminated sheet of paper in his hands, showing something to Pat. Pat nods solemnly. "Take your time Pat," Amber mutters, "you've got all the time in the world. Just keep working the clock." Edward nods in agreement. I look over at Tori. She's in Esme's arms and looks as nervous as the rest of us.

The Bears come back onto the field and Pat commits to running the ball. Six straight runs net us two first downs, though they also eat two minutes off the clock. It would be a forty-seven yard field goal from here, though they have 2:47 on the clock. Coach Powell calls the time-out and Pat goes back to the sideline. "How many time-outs do they have left?" I ask the family. "One," Emmett replies. I give a solemn nod. "They're in good shape Alice," Emmett comments, "one more first down and they're within their kickers range." "Even if they don't get the go-ahead touchdown, they can tie the game and force overtime." I exhale, trying to relax but it doesn't work. I know Emmett knows his football, but I can't shake the tension. "Breathe Alice," Bella whispers in my ear. I don't respond.

The Bears stay on the ground and eat another minute off the clock while getting another first down. On 1st down, Pat throws a screen pass that gets them to the sixteen. Second down they move the chains to get to the nine. The clock is still running. Third down Pat bootlegs and the get to the four-yard line. There is nineteen seconds left on the clock and Coach Powell calls the Bear's last time out.

Conversation is animated on the Bear's sideline. "What's going on?" I whisper. I can't understand anyone over all the voices in the stadium. "Coach Powell wants to kick the field goal and force overtime," Edward replies, "Pat and Coach Brooks want to go for it." "They should go," Emmett replies, "they can at least run one more play." "If they don't score, spike the ball and _then_ kick the field goal." I huff. Pat is adamant about going for it. "Winners want the ball when the game is on the line," Emmett says thoughtfully. I remember that line. It was in that movie Pat and I watched the night before I told him my secret. Coach Brooks is pointing to something on Coach Powell's play list, as adamant as Pat is. "That's not a bad idea," Edward comments. I give him a look but he ignores me. The Bears come back onto the field. "Come on Pat," Edward mumbles, 'sell this. Make it work." I turn to ask what he's talking about, but the referee's blow their whistles to resume play.

Pat gets to the huddle as the play clock is restarted. "Wing left, 38 option right," Pat calls to his offense, "Wing left, 38 option right." "If we don't convert, hurry to the line so I can spike the ball…same formation." "Ready?" The offense breaks the huddle. Edward's jaw is taunt. I've never seen him this worked up about a football game. Pat begins his cadence. The home stands are completely silent, the visitors making as much noise as they can manage. The ball is snapped and Pat fakes the hand-off to the fullback before running down the line, cutting up the field, and twisting to the two yard-line. The clock is still running.

Pat runs back behind the line of scrimmage and is screaming "Get down!" as he makes a motion with his hands that he's going to spike the ball. The Bears get lined up and Pat takes the snap and spikes the ball. There's eleven seconds left. Pat turns and looks at the Bears sideline. Coach Powell only nods. Pat hurries to the huddle "Same play," he calls out, "but with the twist." "Wing left, 38 option right." "Gentlemen, this is it if we don't score." "Ready?" The offense breaks the huddle with seventeen seconds left on the play clock.

A "Wing" formation means that there are two tight ends and a guy lines up just behind the tight end on whatever side is called. He's the "wing". There's also the quarterback, fullback, and tailback in the backfield. There are no wide receivers. It's a running formation. On the "option", Pat is to tuck the ball into the fullback's gut as he barrels up the middle. If Pat thinks he can score, he lets him have it. Otherwise, he pulls the ball out and runs straight down the line, towards the opposing team's defensive end. If the end bit on the fullback, Pat can cut up field and score. If not, he can pitch to the tailback who's shadowing him.

Pat chooses the lesser known option number four. He takes the snap, fakes to the fullback, pulls the ball, and runs up the line. The defensive end doesn't bite, but instead of Pat pitching out, he backpedals about three steps. The wingman, on the opposite side of the play, releases from his block and gets up field before dragging across the middle. No one is paying him any attention except the far cornerback who's too far out of position to make a tackle. Pat fires a perfect strike and guns it to the wingman over the middle. Touchdown Bears with four seconds left on the clock. The home crowd is going crazy along with Pat's family and mine.

The extra point is good and the Bears are up 21-17. Coach Brooks is barking at the kickoff team not to let this game slip away. There is no celebration on the Bear's sideline. Every senior not on the field, including Pat and Will, are kneeling in a row down the sideline holding hands. Some of them are praying. Pat's mouth is set in a tight line. The game is out of his hands and he doesn't like it. Amber has her hands together in a praying gesture, leaning her forehead against them. Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Bella, Melanie, Miranda, Tori, and I are all holding hands. Emmett is cracking his knuckles. That's usually how he shows his nerves. The Bears kick it deep and it's fielded at the two. The return team makes it back to the eighteen before about five Bears snow under the runner.

The entire home stands break out into thunderous applause. Moscow high school is playing for there first state championship! My family and Pat's are all hugging each other as the players storm the field. Pat is up on some of his teammates shoulders as the crowd begins the "Hitman" chant. The band breaks into the school fight song for the third time in a row. The cheerleaders roll out a large banner in the north end zone that reads "Boise or Bust". That's where the state championship game is going to be played. The band finishes with the school fight song and breaks into "Strutter" by Kiss. Why I don't know, but no one seems to care.

The teams finish their handshakes and we pack up to leave, the band still playing. "I want to be waiting when Pat gets home," I tell Bella. She gets a twinkle in her eyes and nods. "Don't wear him out too much Alice," Bella teases, "he's still got one more game to go." I bite my bottom lip and recognize the feeling that if I could blush I would. Bella recognizes this. "Alice," Edward says from behind me, "we have another concern." I turn to look at Edward. "You do realize next Friday will be a full moon," he points out. That turns my smile upside down. "We'll make plans this weekend," he promises me, "so I suggest you bring Pat over tomorrow." I nod in agreement. He then kisses me on top of my head. "Just enjoy yourself tonight," he whispers, "and try to control your thoughts until I'm out of sight please." I giggle, unable to control myself. Oh yeah, I've got plans for tonight.


	37. Chapter 36

(A/N I posted this chapter and someone was nice enough to point out I screwed up a couple of parts royally. Of course my OCD then kicked in and I took it down to repost it. Don't feel required to rereview if you don't want to...but if you didn't the 1st time, go ahead ;). Anyway, I'm going to get at least 1 more chapter out tonight. I'm anxious to start on my next story...which will be an imprint for Leah...so I want to knock this one out. More reviews=more chapters faster.)

**I don't own Twilight.**

_CHAPTER 36-ALICE'S P.O.V._

As advertised, I'm waiting for Pat in his room as soon as he gets home. "Very nicely done," I compliment as he walks into the door. "Thanks," he smiles, putting a hand on my waist and greeting me with a kiss. Yeah, tonight is the night. We're going to take another step. "You need a shower," I comment. He gives me a funny look. I usually don't say anything about him being sweaty and truthfully it doesn't make him stink. It only makes him smell more human. "I mean you'll feel better after a shower," I rephrase. "Yeah," he admits, pouring himself a glass of water. He downs it in four quick swallows. "Get a shower," I reply, "then we can go to bed." He grins at that. Good…I want him to like bedtime as much as I do. Though, rather he knows it or not, the bed isn't part of my plan.

I check my visions as my resolve as soon as I hear the shower start. I'm ready for this. He's ready for this. I change into one of his plain white t-shirts, removing my bra but leaving my panties on. I clip my hair up and check myself in his bedroom mirror. _Yeah_, I think to myself, _I'm ready_. As far as an "accidental" bite goes, this step is the most dangerous. Us going all the way has the most danger of me physically hurting him. Neither is acceptable, which is why I've waited so long for this. But tonight is the night. I'm ready.

I'm waiting in the doorway when I hear the shower turn off. Him being fresh out of the shower is going to make his scent stronger, but my visions say we're ok. I take a deep breath as I hear him drying off and putting his shorts on. If he only knew how short a time he was going to be wearing them.

He opens the door and freezes…shocked to see me standing right there. I respond by wrapping my arms around his neck and raising up on my toes to kiss him. He wraps his arms around my waist and eagerly returns my affections. I let the kiss linger, wanting us both to savor the moment. He leans forward when I lower myself back down and unwrap my arms from his neck He's not ready to release the kiss. Neither am I actually, but I have something better in mind.

Once my hands are off his neck and reach down and yank his boxers down so that they puddle at his feet. _That_ causes him to break off our kiss. "Alice," he says, his eyes widened in shock, "what are you doing?" I give him a knowing grin and reach down to cup him in my hand. "It's time," I purr, "time for the next step." He swallows hard. He's scared…not that I blame him. The part of his body in my hand is probably the worst a human could have close to vampire teeth…next to their throat, of course. "You sure?" he croaks. I stroke him gently, glad to see he's not so frightened he goes limp in my hand. "Trust me," I breathe. He nods and steps out of his boxers. "I do Alice," he replies.

With that I sink to my knees. I wanted it this way. I wanted him standing over me while I knelt in front of him. He's been so good and so patient having to submit to me since we've been together. I've always…because of my strength and my thirst…been the dominant one in the bedroom. It's simply been to keep him safe. I want him to feel in control…be in a position of power. I figured having the immortal on their knees pleasuring you would fit the bill just nicely.

He pulls his t-shirt over his head as I slowly take him in my mouth. No worry about needing to breathe or of him hurting me so I plunge straight ahead, letting the head of his cock brush against the back of my throat. "Fuck," he hisses. I look up to see he's gripping the doorframe. "Hmmm?" I reply, letting my throat vibrate around him as I begin to slowly let him in and out of my mouth. I let my tongue swirl around the head and he grips the door jam tighter. He breathes in and out slowly, trying to keep his composure. Good boy…but I don't want composure tonight.

I continue to bob my head slowly, concentrating on making sure he avoids contact with my teeth. I look up at him. Our eyes lock for a second, then he looks away. Is he embarrassed? Oh no Pat…my whole point to doing it this way is so that you can see me. I keep looking up at him, slowly taking him in my mouth and releasing. The venom is flowing freely in my mouth and I use it to keep him lubricated as he slides in and out. I break off and stroke him with my hand. "Look at me Pat," I order in a soft voice. He lets his head drop and our eyes lock again. "I want you to watch," I explain, "I want you to see me." His mouth opens, but no sound comes out. "I told you," I warn as I continue to stroke him, "remember the night I did this and told you what would happen when I gave you head?" My eyes twinkle when I use the phrase "give head". He nods again. "Now," I order, "watch."

With that I take him in my mouth again, keeping my eyes up to see if he follows my directions. He does. _Good boy_, I think. I concentrate on working on him, letting my eyes drop down as I take him to the back of my throat again. All vampires are well endowed by human standards. I think it's part of the allure. Patrick, while more than enough for me, isn't near as hung as Jasper or any of the few other male vampires I've seen in my lifetime (don't ask…sometimes my visions show me things I don't care to see). It doesn't matter. Patrick's warmth makes up for the size difference and trust me, the boy has more than enough to keep me interested. My visions have already shown me that.

Hesitantly, Patrick loosens his grip on the doorframe with one hand and gently rests it on my head. He lets his fingers tangle in my hair but makes no move to control the tempo as I continue. The contact makes me moan, which makes my mouth and throat vibrate around him again. This causes him to gasp. I put a hand up and rest it on his stomach, absorbing the heat on his skin. "Damn," he hisses through clenched teeth. I moan again, enjoying the reaction. I drop of fluid catches against my tongue and my senses begin to tingle. I let the pre-cum soak into my tongue and then begin to suck him harder and faster. It doesn't taste like I expect his blood would…but it's close. The grip he has on my head tightens, but he makes no move to control me. I move my hand on his stomach to his hip as I feel him fight to keep them from involuntarily bucking towards me. I then pull my body back, so he can look down the neck of my shirt and get a peek of my bare breast.

I know he wants to. I want him to also, but I'm not sure if it's safe yet. That's why I restrain him. Patrick, to his credit, seems to be doing a good job of restraining himself. I taste more pre-cum on my tongue and moan again. "Fuck Alice," he hisses. I let my tongue swirl around the head of his cock again and his grip tightens.

I start moving faster, confident I can control my teeth, and concentrate on pressing my mouth all the way to the base of his cock. Light red hairs tickle my nose as the head brushes against the back of my throat…right where the burning is. His hand moves to the back of my head and he grips me tighter. I consider letting him have control but change my mind. Not this time…not yet. Soon though, I'll be all his.

"Alice," he pants, "I'm close." I respond by moaning again, trying to let him know it's ok to cum in my mouth. "Alice," he says again…his voice cracking." I break off for just a second, continuing to stimulate him with my hand. "It's ok Pat," I assure him, "you can cum in my mouth." He looks embarrassed. I wish he wouldn't do that. I put him back in my mouth and resume with my mouth. I'm going faster now and a hiss of air escapes his clenched teeth every time he enters and the head of his cock bumps against the back of my throat.

He sucks in a breath, then releases it. He sucks in another one, but it freezes in him lungs. He grips my neck as I'm pulling back, trying to make sure he cums in my mouth and not my throat. I guess he's afraid I'll choke. I oblige him though. I _want _to taste him. He twitches in my mouth and he exhales forcefully as his seed spills into my mouth. I moan as it touches my tongue. It's even closer to what I expect from his blood than the pre-cum was. I suck greedily, wanting every drop of it. He shudders as I continue until he stops twitching in my mouth.

I release him and look up smiling. "Holy shit," he pants. My grin widens. "Now," I comment, "get into bed while I finish up in the bathroom." He gives me a funny look, but I ignore it. "Then I have something to say." "After that, you're going to sleep and I'm going to hunt." His eyes drop. "Everything's ok Pat," I assure him, "believe me…_everything_ is ok." He smiles. "Now get," I order, giving him a playful swat on his bare backside as he walks past.

I need some alone time in the bathroom for two reasons. One is in case I have to cough up his seed. I have no idea if my body will absorb it or not. The other is I want to rinse my mouth out. I don't know if he'll want to kiss me after having his cock in my mouth or not. I hear some men are funny about that. I wait about ten minutes to see if I need to gag, but nothing happens. I gargle with mouthwash, which to me taste _much_ nastier than Pat, and crawl on top of the covers with Pat.

"First," I begin as he rolls over to face me, "you're going to have to get over this lack of confidence. It's not you and frankly it's not all that sexy." He frowns. I lower my head so that I can look into his eyes. "I'm serious Pat," I explain, "I know you're new to this, but I saw how embarrassed you looked watching me. Not to mention when I told you it was ok to cum in my mouth." I swear he blushed again. "We agreed…complete disclosure, remember?" He nods. "I'm sorry," he mumbles. I snuggle up to him. "You just need to get comfortable," I comment, "I know this is new to you. Believe me though…that was amazing." "Tell me about it," he blurts out. I grin. "Was it everything you'd hoped for?" I ask. "Better," he replies. I can't help but grin triumphantly. "Well get use to it," I warn, "because I need to do that a _lot_." "Really?" he asks. I look back up at him and nod. "We're so close to going all the way," I explain, "that is honestly our biggest hurdle." He smiles. "You'd better be ready to get head," I warn, "because I'm going to be going for it every chance I get." "Fine with me," he replies. He doesn't blush this time. It's a start.

"Now for the bad news," I sigh. "Friday night is a full moon." He frowns at this. "We're going to my house tomorrow to make plans," I continue, "so be ready to go in the morning." "Before or after my morning blowjob?" he smirks. I can't help but laugh with him. "After," I promise, "we need to work on that." I then smooth out his hair. "You did good Pat," I confess, "I know you were scared and you had to fight what felt natural at times, but I promise you…you did really well." He gives me a weak smile. "Alice," he says softly, "that was amazing." I tap his nose with my index finger. "Get use to it," I warn before giving him a kiss. He pulls me towards him, deepening the kiss before letting me go. "I'll be back as soon as I can," I promise, "someone will be nearby just in case." He nods. "Love you Ali," he says as he shifts under the covers. "I love you Pat," I reply, blowing him a kiss before I go to hunt.

After I woke Pat around nine, fed him breakfast, then "handled business", as he liked to call it again he drove us in his truck to my house. Everyone was waiting for us around the dining room table. I knew they'd heard us drive up and were ready. Pat, if he was surprised to see everyone sitting around waiting, didn't show it. "I wondered why you had a dining room table," he admitted as he sat between Esme and me, "since you always go out to eat." Everyone chuckled lightly at his joke. "This is where we discuss all important family business," Carlisle explains to him, "regardless of where we've lived or how many of us there are." Patrick nods. "Am I the first human?" he asks. "Second," Bella corrected, "I was the first." The rest of my family nod in agreement. "Ok," Pat replies, turning to Carlisle, "it's your show."

Carlisle ponders it for a moment. "What's the school's plans for the game?" he asks Pat. "The game will actually be on Saturday afternoon" Pat explains, "the team is suppose to meet at the school where we'll be chartered over." "That's the coach's call…not the players." Carlisle nods thoughtfully. "And I'm guessing you'll ride the bus back?" he asks. Pat nods. "That shouldn't be a problem," Edward says, "the werewolves won't attack a bus full of people…it would be too obvious." Everyone, including Pat, nods in agreement. "My suggestion," Pat chimes in, "is you guys carpool with my family. That way you can take two cars and they'll be covered." "What about you?" I ask. Pat shrugs. "Like we said," he replies, "they're not going to attack a bus." I shake my head. "You'll still be uncovered and I don't like it," I stress. "I'll ride the bus," Emmett volunteers, "I'm sure I can talk a coach into letting me. "They'll have two busses," Edward adds, "and we can always join the convoy of people following the bus." I nod and breathe a little easier.

"So it's settled," Carlisle says, "Emmett will ride with Pat and we'll carpool with Pat's family." Everyone nods in agreement. "Is Miranda going to be able to get off work?" Esme asks. "She wouldn't miss this for anything," Pat replies, "she'll be there." Esme smiles. "I'll call her either this afternoon or tomorrow and offer your family a ride then," she promises. Pat smiles and nods. "You don't think the werewolves are looking to take us out first, do you?" Bella asks. Edward shakes his head. "I would suspect they're more worried about the exposure risk…meaning Pat…than they are about us." "Besides," Edward comments, "it's after the game I'm worried about. It will be dark when we get back." I swallow hard. "We'll keep up our surveillance as usual," Carlisle responds. "Aren't you guys getting tired of that?" Pat asks. "It's not like we've got anything better to do," Emmett admits. Bella smacks him in the back of the head. "You're family Pat," Carlisle replies firmly, "and we protect our family."

After the meeting Pat and I drove to Melanie and Miranda's house, stopping on a back road to be normal teenagers. Pat, while he didn't push when I first started stimulating him with my hand, had no qualms with my mouth. I knew this was going to be the toughest step until the night we make love, so anytime he was game I was. Miranda fried chicken and made biscuits. I excused myself of course. Pat, to his credit, told her that we had eaten at Esme's and that I was probably still full. Of course he was hungry. Miranda didn't seem to find that odd…he _is _a teenage boy. I braided Tori's hair after she ate, then Amber and I did each other's nails. Pat and Melanie drank beer around the kitchen table and discussed the upcoming game. I would see him glancing at me out of the corner of his eyes when he saw Melanie wasn't looking and thought I wasn't either. I would fidget with the hem of my blouse in response. I was glad to see his look was wanting, not embarrased.

We did the exact same thing Sunday as we did Saturday. We hung out with my family in the morning, his family in the afternoon, and spent the evening along. I finally gave in Sunday night and let him touch me, his hands enough to make me shiver when my climax hit. Then I went to work on him, savoring his taste on my tongue. I hunted when he dozed off, then came back and took a shower. I went ahead and threw the clothes in the washer before climbing back into bed. His sleep was restless and every time he would mumble I would swear it was football related. I held him against my chest, smoothed out his hair, and whispered gently to him. Even in his sleep, I wanted him to know how much I loved him and how much I cared about him.

The week went by too fast for Pat's liking. The school was abuzz with talk of the upcoming game. Everyone wore school colors every day. Practice, according to Pat, was light. I gave him a treat besides our new sexual experimentation: I did his homework the entire week. It was nothing for me to do the work in his handwriting. There was a pep rally Friday and captains were announced. At Pat's insistence, it was decided the entire senior class would be named as captains. This was the most excitement I've ever seen in a high school and I enjoyed it as much as anyone.

Everyone seemed to enjoy it…except Pat. He was a nervous wreck. If I wasn't "holding his attention" he was so far away. All I could do was keep close to him. My touch seemed to soothe him, so I made it a point to be around as much as I could. Esme had made the call and of course the Williamson family agreed to come with us for the game. Friday's practice was short, just rehashing the game plan. No new plays were designed. The Bears were going to go out the same way they came in. "Dance with the one that brought you" as the saying went.


	38. Chapter 37

(A/N Last football chapter for those of you that don't care for football.)

**I don't own Twilight. I also don't own the Boise State Broncos or their blue astroturf field. Yes...it's really blue. Not "bluish-green" or anything like that. It's BLUE. Look it up if you don't believe me.**

_CHAPTER 37-ALICE'S P.O.V._

Edward loves me. I know this because he drove us to Boise for the game. It's five and a half-hours driving at human speed from Moscow to Boise and Edward never complained once as he followed the slow motorcade being led by two charter busses. The Volvo contained Edward, Bella, Amber, Tori, and myself along with the hatch holding all our necessary game items. Melanie and Miranda rode with Carlisle and Esme. We pulled away from Moscow High school at five a.m. and made it to Bronco Stadium (home of the Boise State Broncos) just before eleven. The game was to start at three p.m. Emmett joined us while Pat and the rest of the team filed into the locker room. It was cloudy and the weatherman was predicting snow this evening.

We found seats on the lower level around the forty-yard line. "Why is the field blue?" Tori ask. She's right…the turf _is _blue. "It's been that way since the 80's," Emmett explains, "though why I have no idea." Huh, that's interesting. The early game is now finishing up and the Bears are warming up. Amber hands me a program and I glance at the cover. We're playing the Dexter High School Wolverines. They're also undefeated. Since Sanchez got hurt, they took over the distinction of the high school that's scored the most points this season. Moscow still has given up the fewest points. This game is being billed as "The Irresistible Forces Vs The Immovable Objects". I idly flip through the pages. It seems like Dexter has five players expected to sign with major colleges…Moscow three. I notice Emmett is reading over my shoulder. "Looks like it's going to be one hell of a game," he comments.

Moscow comes out and begins warming up on our side of the field. I don't even bother hiding my gawk at Patrick. Moscow is wearing their black uniforms with the red and white trim. My mouth fills with venom as I take in that boy's form. His t-shirt, cut as usual at the sleeves and around the stomach, is even black. It's just short enough I can get a peek of the light trail of hair on his stomach before it disappears into his pants. "Are you checking out his package?" Amber asks. I don't even bother to respond. "It's not that big Alice," Emmett chimes in, "it just looks like that because of his cup." "Oh no," I correct, "his cup runneth over!" Did I just quote _Sex in the City_? BAD ALICE! I don't get a chance to remember because Amber and Emmett are laughing their damn heads off. I can't help it. His hair is all mussed up like he just crawled out of bed. He's got the claw marks painted across his face. I want him NOW. BAD ALICE!

Pat, after some light stretching, starts throwing the ball. "Pat really undervalues his arm," Emmett comments, "he's got decent velocity and better than average accuracy." "Ever since he got put at safety as a sophomore," Amber replies, "it's all he's cared about." Emmett shrugs. I swallow another mouthful of venom. "Isn't the fact he can play both positions what makes him such a hot commodity?" I ask. Emmett nods and Amber shrugs. I guess they don't agree. "It depends on the school," Amber speaks first, "if he goes to a _big_ school…they'll probably only want him at one position. A smaller school would be more willing to look at him at more than one." Emmett shakes his head. "It depends more on what they _mainly _want him for," Emmett counters, "like if he's signed to play safety, they might want him to take a few snaps at wide receiver. If it's at quarterback, he'll probably be stuck just as a quarterback."

The band begins warming up and Miranda takes Tori to the bathroom and to get food. Of course my family declines, though Emmett jokes that she could bring him back a beer. No beer for sale at a high school game…or at a college stadium for that matter, which is why he said it. Edward gave him a reproachful look, but otherwise he was ignored. I can see Pat's already nervous. He's leaned against the goalpost, arms crossed, Copenhagen packed in his bottom lip. Who would've thought I would've ever found that pose sexy? Well guess what…I DO. Pat makes eye contact with me from across the field and I bite my bottom lip and give him a small wave. He throws me a wink, but doesn't move.

The teams retreat to the locker room about the time Miranda and Tori are back. Stadium food smells awful to me, but then again so does any other food. Well, the hot chocolate doesn't smell too bad. Not appetizing, but not bad either. I wonder if it's because it's I'm a female vampire. I see Edward grin at that thought. Moscow's band breaks into "Times Like These" by Foo Fighters and I see Melanie bobbing her head to the music. She gives me a wink when she sees I'm watching her and I wink back. I remember that song. I glance around the stadium. I swear I think everyone in Moscow is here today.

The teams come out for the coin toss and I can't tell who wins because Pat doesn't even react. "Coach Powell is keeping him from playing safety today," Amber explains, "that's why Pat's not excited." "But we're going on defense first." I nod as I watch Pat. He's got is jersey and shoulder pads on. His gloves are missing. I guess so he can grip the ball better. He has a black towel stuck in the front of his pants to keep his hands dry. Moscow kicks off, putting the ball in the end zone, and we're underway.

The Wolverines drive the ball down the field before stalling inside the twenty. They end up with a field goal. Moscow is immediately down 3-0. Dexter kicks off and they put it in the end zone. Pat, after getting his instructions, trots onto the field as the band hits the chorus of "Trippin On A Hole In A Paper Heart". Just like at home, the fans sing along. Pat points to the stands…at me…before joining the huddle. Edward's jaw is tense. "What's wrong?" I ask. He frowns. "Since Pat is the back-up quarterback, Dexter is going to pour the heat on early to see if they can break him." Now I'm frowning.

Patrick comes up to the line with a receiver on each side, the tight end to his right, and two backs in the backfield. I see not one, but two secondary people sneaking up to the line. Pat puts his hands under center, then stand up straight. "He's calling an audible," Emmett whispers. Everyone in our group holds our breath. Pat takes the snap, drops back three steps and hits his receiver on a slant for five yards. We burst into cheers.

Patrick shows absolutely no fear with each play. He checks to the run when they expect him to pass and pass when they expect him to run. He stands tall in the pocket in the face of an oncoming blitz and delivers each pass with pinpoint accuracy. Every play gets at least one positive yard…they're never thrown for a loss…and on first and goal from the seven Pat bootlegs to his right and sprints into the corner of the end zone. Bears 7, Wolverines 3.

This game then turns into a shoot-out. Dexter scores a touchdown on their next possession and the Bears answer with a touchdown of their own. The score is 14-10 at the end of the first quarter.

The second quarter starts with Dexter in possession. They score another touchdown. Moscow on offense gets a field goal. Then we get lucky. Dexter's quarterback throws an interception and Pat calls a draw play on the twelve-yard line that gets us back in the end zone. Dexter runs the clock out on their next possession and kick a field goal as time expires in the half. It's 24-20 at halftime. "This game could make coffee nervous," Miranda comments.

We take Tori to the fence at halftime. Amber and I both agree that he would want that. We're right. Pat is quiet when he comes out, hugging his sister fiercely. Tori, of course, hugs him back with equal enthusiasm. "You ok?" I ask as he hugs the little blond girl tightly. He nods his face a mask of concentration. "We didn't want a shoot-out," he replies, "that gives them the advantage." "You're holding your own so far," Amber comments. He shrugs. "For now," is all he says as he breaks his embrace and hands Tori back to Amber. Then he leans over and kisses my on the cheek. He's sweaty and that makes my mouth water and my thighs tingle. "Go get em Pat," I whisper. He winks at me again before running to warm up again.

The third quarter starts off much slower. Each team trades punts before Dexter makes a move. They throw it deep and connect for a touchdown. I see Pat mouth the word "shit" as the stands across from us erupt into cheers. The extra point is good and we're now down 27-24. Our next offensive series ends in another punt and when Dexter gets the ball they drive down the field and end up another field goal. That puts it at 34-24. Pat takes command and the Bears lean heavily on their ground game. Pat throws a screen pass on first and goal from the nine for a touchdown to close the gap. Wolverines 34 Bears 31. I see Pat on the sidelines as the defense lines up to start the fourth quarter. It's gotten chilly and the humans in my group have begun huddling under a stadium blanket. I sit next to Melanie for appearance sake. Someone as small as I am should be cold natured…or so I'm told. I make sure we don't touch though. No sense in Melanie suffering.

Everyone holds up four fingers at the start of the fourth quarter. No one on the Moscow side of the stadium believes we're going to lose this game. I look at Pat, pacing the sidelines. He looks angry, but not defeated. I know he wants to be out there at safety. Coach Brooks calls for him and he hurries over. "Pat's going in at safety," Edward whispers under his breath. I see Pat turn and bark orders at one of the managers. Less than ten seconds later the manager returns with Pat's gloves. Pat straps them on and turns towards the stands, looking right at me. I give him a wink. He nods back, turns, and trots onto the field. Just like at the Clayton game, the band breaks into "No More Mr. Nice Guy".

The Moscow fans start the "Hitman" chant as both teams line up to start the fourth quarter. Dexter has done their homework…they don't throw anywhere near Pat. It doesn't matter. Pat is still around the ball on every tackle. Dexter gets three first downs, putting them in position for a long field goal, but miss. That gives the Bears the ball on their own 32-yard line with 9:22 left on the clock. I see Pat on the sidelines removing his gloves and tucking his towel back into the front of his pants. "He's going back in at quarterback," I comment. Emmett nods. "Moscow's pulling out all the stops," he replies.

Pat throws a slant route on first down for a completion, then the fullback up the middle gets another three. On third-and-two Pat gives to the fullback again up the middle. The ball comes loose and Dexter recovers. The opposing stands break into cheers. "No, no, no!" Amber hisses. Everyone else literally deflates. Pat stays on the field while the defense comes out, glaring daggers at his sideline. "He's daring Coach Brooks to take him out," Edward leans down and whispers to me. Emmett chuckles. "He's not," Edward assures me, "Patrick's glaring isn't necessary."

I hear Pat in the huddle. "This 'D' is the one that brought us here," he begins his speech while there's an official time out, "and now we have to deliver. We give up nothing here!" The defense cheers. "It's time to cowboy up gentlemen," he continues, "we're living our lives one play at a time. We will NOT surrender another fucking yard!" Again the defense cheers. "Base, cover zero, Hitman," he calls out, "put some heat on that fucker!" "Ready?" The defense breaks the huddle. The Moscow fans have woken up, though my family is the only one that could hear Pat's speech.

The safety blitz works to perfection. Pat waits till the very last moment to sneak to the line and when the ball is snapped Pat is through the line and in the quarterback's face before he can even cock his arm. Pat creams him, the ball flying out of his hands. There is wild screaming from both sides as there's a pile-up on the ball. Pat is still on top of the quarterback. Pat, to my surprise, reaches down and helps the quarterback up after getting to his feet. "Who's got it?" Melanie asks me. I can only shrug. The referee's begin pulling players off the pile. At the bottom they find Will, curled up in a fetal position, his arms and legs wrapped around the football. Our sideline breaks into wild cheers.

I look at the clock. 6:44 left. Pat lines up under center "as cool as the other side of the pillow" as he once told me. Despite the tension, a small smile plays on my lips. He's mine. Pat then proceeds to either pass or scramble, moving the Bears down the field with surgical precision. On first and goal from the four, he calls his own number, bootlegs again, and dives past the cornerback to give the Bears the lead. The extra point is good and I glance at the scoreboard. Bears 38 Wolverines 34 with 2:17 left on the clock. Now they just have to hold.

We almost don't. The Bears kickoff and the Wolverines return team sets up perfectly. The runner breaks up the middle and for a moment he's gone. He's fast, faster than even Pat though Pat's on the sidelines. I can see Pat mouthing "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck" as the ball carrier breaks past midfield. He's off to the races. The Bear's stands are beside themselves. Both our families are literally holding our breaths. Then a small black streak comes barreling down the field. A small African-American kid wearing number 48 runs the ball carrier down and makes a shoestring tackle to save a touchdown at the nine yard line.

Pat's pointing to the kid and screaming "YOU THE MOTHER FUCKIN MAN!" as the little guy comes back to the sideline. The officials call timeout for the two-minute warning. The kid turns his back and I see the name "Williamson". "That's Little Joe!" Amber exclaims. Huh? "Joe Williamson," she explains, "Will's little brother. He's a sophomore!" Will has a brother? Oh yeah…he has three. Our family begins to chant for him, "Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe!" Even with his dark skin, I can see the blush.

Pat and Coach Brooks are talking, their lips moving fast. "Let me have them," are Pat's parting words before turning back to the field, strapping on his gloves as he goes. "All you Hitman," Coach Brooks calls, slapping him on the butt with his clipboard as he runs off. The officials are arguing with Dexter's head coach about the spot of the ball. "This is it gentlemen," Pat says to his team, "everything we've worked for comes down to this. If they score, we won't have time to answer. It's now or never." He slaps Will on the helmet. "We ALL owe Little Joe," he continues, Joe gave us the opportunity. Let's not waste it." "Goal line, cover zero, slant strong…goal line, cover zero, slant strong…ready?" The team breaks. Now the Bear's offense…along with the rest of the team…is kneeling on the sidelines in a row. All of them are holding hands.

First down the Wolverines pull a trick play and run the reverse. Pat, thankfully not fooled, doesn't bite and while the cornerback slows the receiver up enough Pat is able to tackle him before he gets into the end zone. Pat stops him at the three-yard line. Second down. "Man up!" Pat yells as Dexter lines up without a huddle. This time they try running a sweep to the strong side. Moscow, slanting to the strong side, is ready and they stop him right past the line of scrimmage. That makes it third and goal from the two. Now everyone around us, Pat's family and mine, is holding hands…even Edward. Timeout is called by the Wolverines.

I strain to listen to Pat. "Those bastards are coming up the middle," he barks as he kneels in the middle of the circle of his players, "they don't think we can hold. We're going goal line, cover zero, pinch. Everyone slant towards the center. Everyone NOT on the line be ready to pursue just in case they try to go outside…but I doubt they will. We have two more plays gentlemen. Two plays that you will remember the rest of your lives. Goal line, cover zero, pinch." "Ready?" They break the huddle.

Pat was right. They try coming up the middle. Their running back, a small muscular guy, dives underneath the larger linemen and Pat meets him in the hole just short of the goal line. That makes it fourth and goal. The referee calls for the chains to spot the ball. I look at the clock. 1:11 left on the clock. This will decide the ballgame.

Pat and Dexter's quarterback, the guys calling the shots on the field, are standing next to the guys with the chains. "How far you need?" Pat asks. "About a foot," the quarterback, whom Pat sacked earlier, replies eagerly. I can't miss the glare Pat gives him. "You'd BETTER pass," Pat snarls. I swallow hard. "I LOVE it," Edward whispers, "reverse psychology. Pat's _daring_ him to run the ball." I nod absently. Dexter calls their final time-out.

"This is it," Pat addresses his defense, "this is it. Wounds heal…chicks dig scars…and the USA has the best doctors in the world." A few giggles erupt, easing the tension. "We will remember this one play as long as we live," Pat continues after the laughter dies down, "we leave it all on the fucking field." "Gentlemen," he finishes as he puts his hand up. The other players clasp their hands over his. "It's been a pleasure to share the field of battle with you. Bears on three; one, two, three." "BEARS!" the team cheers.

Even with my vampire sight, the play seems to go in slow motion. The quarterback hands off to the tailback with the fullback leading. Will and the fullback meet head on. The tailback dives over the top of the pile and is met head on by a leaping Pat. The pop of their pads meeting is like worlds colliding. Everyone on both sides of the field is holding their collective breath. Pat, once contact is made, doesn't yield an inch as both players go straight down from the point of contact. Everyone looks at the line judges. They look at the players, then move into the pile to get an accurate spot of the ball. "They didn't get it," Amber says confidently. "It's going to be close," Edward chimes in. "Pat got him," Tori adds with a serious expression.

The ending is anti-climatic. The refs pull the players apart and find Pat with both his arms still wrapped around the runner. The runner couldn't get his arms free to stretch the ball over the goal line. Pat's feet are on the goal line. The ref immediately point towards the opposite end zone. The Bears held! The Bears held! The band breaks into the school fight song. Emmett and Amber begin discussing something about the Sugar Bowl in 1979 for some reason. Pat comes to his feet quickly as he's swarmed by his teammates. There's still 44 seconds left on the clock.

Running out the clock is different than usual. Pat can't kneel in the end zone. Instead he takes the snaps and keeps the ball, finds a seam, and scrambles to the four-yard line. He does it a second time and the clock runs out. Pandemonium erupts from our side as the players storm the field. "Ladies and Gentlemen," the announcer, "your state champion Moscow Bears." Emmett taps my shoulder and points at the scoreboard. "MVP #3 Patrick Williamson" is plastered across the scoreboard. Miranda takes a picture of it. So does Bella. The trophy, red and shaped like the state of Idaho, is brought onto the field and the players immediately hand it to Pat. He's then lifted on their shoulders as flashbulbs pop all around him.


	39. Chapter 38

(A/N Good news is...three chapters. Bad news is...I had to leave it with a cliffhanger. Sorry. Please keep reviewing. Oh, and since I haven't mentioned this in a while, there's a Q/A for this story on my profile. Let me know if you have any questions. Who knows, maybe I'll add your question for everyone to read. Review, review, review!)

**I don't own Twilight.**

_CHAPTER 38-ALICE'S P.O.V._

We left the stadium a little after six. After stopping at a drive-thru to feed the humans we drove on back towards Moscow. Emmett was on the bus with Patrick. It was a dumb school rule that since they both rode to the game on the bus, they had to ride home the same way. I pouted about that a little, but finally relented. It gave Patrick a chance to celebrate with his team. I'll get him tomorrow. Just the thought of that sent a shiver up my spine.

Tori was asleep as soon as she finished eating. I could tell all the humans were tired…I even yawn a couple of times just to keep up the charade. Edward and Carlisle stayed with the team busses the entire drive back. I don't know what Carlisle told Melanie and Miranda the reason was, but I'm sure he handled it. We dropped all the humans off at Amber's mom's house before going home to our own. I wanted to meet Pat at school, but decided to go home and change before meeting him at his house. My mouth started watering again at that thought.

Edward's cell started ringing as soon as we pulled into the driveway. Edward freezes at the sound of Emmett's voice. "Grab Patrick and _run_ here," he orders as he quickly climbs out of the Volvo, "we'll be waiting." Edward clicks his phone shut. "Emmett smells werewolf near the school," Edward explains, "Bella and I will go check on his family." "Emmett is running Pat here." I growl. Those damn werewolves again.

Edward and Bella leave and Carlisle and Esme go into the house. I hear Esme closing the metal shutters in the house. Every house we own is that way…we can turn any one of our houses into a fortress with the push of a button. I wait outside and pace. I'm not going to relax until I know he's safe and I want to be out the door in case I need to run. I check my visions of Patrick. I see him coming up within the next few minutes on Emmett's back.

Emmett breaks through the trees with Patrick on his back just as I envisioned. I immediately run up to him, smothering his face with kisses. Pat wraps his arms around me. "What's the plan?" he asks as soon as he can catch his breath. "Edward and Bella are watching your family," I explain, "we're going to keep you here." He nods. "Mom expects me to go to Pop's house anyway," he replies, "so it won't matter if I'm here or there." I grab his hand. "Let's get inside," I press, "I'll feel better when you are." He nods and follows me, Emmett right behind us.

Remember when I said I'd have several visions about the future and wanted to be ready for any possible outcome? Just to be on the safe side, I had already made Pat a drawer in my room. In it were the basics: socks, underwear, and t-shirts. He's Edward's size in clothes, so I didn't worry about that. I've even got him a toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, and a hairbrush in my bathroom just in case. Carlisle and Esme are waiting. "I ran the perimeter," Carlisle explains, "and there's been no scent of them thus far. Edward just called and there's nothing to report there." I nod. "Pat," Esme suggest, "why don't you take a shower and get comfortable." Pat nods. "Are you hungry?" she ask. "No ma'am," he replies, "they had us food on the bus…and I ate Emmett's too." Esme smiles at that. "You're safe here Pat," Carlisle adds, "so try to relax."

I grab Pat's hand and lead him upstairs. I skip the guestroom and take him straight to mine. My room isn't girly by any means. I don't spend any time here except to change clothes for school. I guess you could call it "gender-neutral". "I think we can skip you sleeping in the guest room," I explain to him, "if that's alright." He smiles. "Your room?" he asks. I nod. "Get a shower," I order, "I'll find you something to wear and put it on the bathroom counter. "Ok," he replies. Before going, he leans over and kisses the top of my head. "I'm sorry I'm so much trouble," he mumbles. "You're _so_ worth it though," I promise, wrapping my arms around his stomach.

Pat gets in the shower and I raid Edward and Bella's room. I find a pair of flannel pajama pants of Edward's for Pat to sleep in. I then go to Pat's drawer and pick him out a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. I slip into the bathroom quietly and put them beside the sink. I want to climb in there with him so badly right now. Too bad my whole heart wouldn't be in it. This done I go back downstairs and check on Carlisle and Esme. "Emmett's running the property now," Carlisle informs me as I get to the bottom of the stairs, "so far so good." I nod. "Pat's in the shower," I reply. Carlisle nods. "Put him to bed as soon as he gets out," Carlisle suggests, "I know he's tired." I nod in agreement.

"Are you sure he doesn't need anything to eat?" Esme asks. I shake my head. "His stomach hasn't growled," I reply, "I think he's more tired than anything." Esme nods. "I'm going to turn the heat up though," she adds, "the snow is starting to come down and I know he'll be cold." "Good idea," I agree. I hear the shower turn off. "Comfort him as best you can Alice," Carlisle states, "and make sure he knows his family is in good hands." I nod before sprinting back up the stairs.

I'm back in the room before Pat is finished dressing. I take the time to put on a pair of Moscow sweats. I want him close, but I don't want him to freeze to death. I hear him brushing his teeth. "Are you decent?" I ask. "Uh huh," he calls, the toothbrush still in his mouth. I go in. He's standing at the sink in the pajama pants. He hasn't put his t-shirt on yet and his hair is still damp. Damn…that boy makes me think some unladylike thoughts. "Emmett's running the property," I tell him, "and Edward and Bella have your family under close watch. Everything's ok so far." He nods. I then smile. "How's my State Champion doing?" I tease. He spits in the sink and shrugs. "I was doing fine till we got back," he admits, "now I'm pissed off again."

I get it. I'm mad too because there werewolves won't leave us alone. "Everything's going to be fine," I promise, "we won't let anything happen to you or your family." He nods. His eyes look weak. "You look worn out," I comment. He doesn't respond. "Come on," I say, taking his hand, "let's put you to bed." He nods and follows without comment. I pull the covers back and tuck him in before coming over to the other side.

"Carlisle and Esme alright with this?" he asks. I smile. "Yes," I reply, "they know how much you mean to me." He nods. He holds his hand up, his thumb and index finger about an inch apart. "I'd kill for about that much bourbon," he admits, "just enough to take the edge off. I'd sleep like a baby then." I smile. "I'm afraid we're out," I reply. "Figured," he replies. I scoot over beside him and pull his head against my chest. "You ok?" I ask. He nods against my chest. "I just need some sleep," he admits. "Sleep," I tell him, "I'll be right here. Anything that attacks will have to get through Emmett…then Carlisle and Esme…then me before it gets to you. You're safe." He wraps his arms around my waist. His body heat has warmed up the covers, so I don't try to pull away. He's out like a light a few minutes later.

He sleeps till nine in the morning. I don't move the entire night. "Morning," I whisper as he stirs, kissing the top of his head. "Morning," he replies, "everything ok?" "Yep," I inform him, "everything's been quiet all night." He nods and slips out of my arms, stretching. He looks uncomfortable. "What's wrong?" I ask. "Morning wood," he admits. I can't help but chuckle. "Not like I haven't seen it before," I remind him. He nods. "Go have a human moment," I reply as I sit up on the edge of the bed, "I'll go see about you some breakfast." He nods and slips out from under the covers. I can see his erection pressing against his pajama pants and I have to turn away as my mouth begins watering. BAD ALICE!

Esme is making pancakes when I come down. "I heard him wake up," she explains. I start to ask if she heard anything else, but let it go. I'm sure she did but she's too polite to mention it. "I even made coffee," she says proudly. I smile at her. Pat comes down a few minutes later wearing what he slept in. "I don't have any clothes," he admits. "I'll find you something," I offer, "you eat." Esme sets a plate of pancakes in front of him and pours him a cup of coffee. "For someone who doesn't eat, you sure can cook Esme," Pat praises. I think if Esme could blush, she would've.

Edward and Bella come in as Pat's eating. "We didn't see, hear, or smell anything all night," Edward says before any of us can ask. Pat breathes a sigh of relief. "Tonight's the last night of the full moon," Edward continues, "we'll keep up the vigil around your house again tonight." "Would it be easier if I was with them?" Pat asks, "I mean, that way you don't have to watch two houses at the same time?" Carlisle and Emmett come in at this point. "I don't know," Edward says thoughtfully, "do we really want your scent to bring them directly to your family?" "I agree with Pat," Emmett interjects, "it may bring the wolves out and we can take them out once and for all." I stand closer to Pat. "But to use them as bait Emmett?" Esme asks, beating me to the punch. "If it would get rid of them," Pat chimes in, "I'm all for it."

I cry out and sink to my knees as a vision hits me. This one is so clear I'd swear I'm actually there.

_Three humans are standing in the woods. There is also several other humans tied to nearby trees. I see a man, a woman, a teenage girl, and a young girl about Tori's age. "We'll bring the vampires to us," one of the humans says aloud, "and once we've finished with them we'll finish off the human they're protecting." The prisoners are wide-eyed…obviously terrified. I squint to see if I can pick up anything that would tell me where they are. I finally find it…a brochure at one of the kidnapper's feet. I can barely make out the words_: _Lake Coeur d'Alene.__Then my vision fades._

"They've taken hostages," Edward says for me, seeing the vision at the same time I did. Pat is kneeling beside me, crushing me against his chest. "How many?" Carlisle asks. "Three," I reply, "with four hostages." "Where?" Pat asks. "Somewhere around Lake Coeur," I reply. "It looks like they got a family of hikers," Edward adds. "Perfect," Emmett chimes in, "we can take them all out with one shot." "We have to hurry," Edward replies, "the sun will set a little after four." "I'll get dressed," Pat says, releasing me and standing up, "you guys make plans." With that, he's gone.

"Easy," Emmett starts, "there's three werewolves. That's how many that guy said they had. We swoop in and take them out." "What if there's more?" Bella asks. Edward nods in agreement. "We'll send Pat to his family," Carlisle suggest, "and leave Esme to watch them." Everyone's head nods in agreement. "I'd rather stay," I interject. Edward shakes his head. "We need your vision in case they decide to change their plans," Edward explains, "Esme can keep an eye on Pat and his family." I huff, but relent. "This is the best plan," Edward says, putting a hand on my shoulder, "we have the chance to make Patrick safe again." I nod, though I'm not happy about this.

Patrick comes down, dressed in some of Edward's jeans and the jersey I wore last night. "So what's the plan?" he asks. "Esme is going to take you to your family," I explain, "and hide around the house while we hunt down the werewolves." Pat nods thoughtfully. "Ok," he relents, "I guess that'll work." Emmett is cracking his knuckles in anticipation. "When do you leave?" Pat asks. "As soon as possible," Edward interjects. "Let me put my boots on," Pat agrees.

I kiss Pat passionately once we're outside. There's still a very light snow falling. Despite the temperature Pat doesn't shy away from my cold skin. "I'll make you safe," I promise. He smiles at me. "Be careful Alice," he warns me in a soft voice, "and come back to me." "Always," I promise, kissing him again. Emmett clears his throat but I ignore it. Finally we break away. I pull Pat close and whisper, "I love you." "I love you too Alice," he whispers back, squeezing me gently. He watches me the entire time as he gets in the passenger's seat of the Volvo. We're taking the Mercedes just in case the sun decides to show itself. "I'll be watching," Esme promises me. I give her a hug. "I can't lose him," I whisper to her, my eyes burning with unshed tears. "I know Alice," she whispers back, "I'll do everything in my power to keep him safe."

Esme and Pat drive away and I get into the Mercedes. "It's a big lake," Edward begins, reading off a map, "there will be a lot of ground to cover." He frowns. "It's going to take us a couple of hours to get there also." Bella puts a hand on my arm. "We're going to make Pat safe," she promises. I can only nod. The drive is silent. All I can think about is Patrick. "What are we going to do with the humans once we find them?" Bella asks. "I don't know," Carlisle replies, "we're just going to have to play that one by ear." "We may have to disappear," Edward says gravely. I frown at that. "I'm hoping we can save them without it coming to that," Edward adds quickly, "but there's no way to tell." I turn and stare out the window, not responding.

Edward is right, of course. If the humans get a hint of what we really are we'll have to disappear. And by disappear I mean no contact with civilization for at least two decades. It's either that or we kill them…and Carlisle won't do that. Carlisle has the Mercedes running at around 150 mph. I want this finished. I want Patrick safe and I want to be with him. "I know Alice," Edward says, turning to look at me, "I remember those feelings when Victoria was hunting her." I don't respond or even turn away from the window.

"What's the plan once we get there?" Emmett asks. "We need to stick together," Carlisle replies, "we can't split up and hunt them." "We're reasonably safe in this large a group…splitting up would negate our advantage." "Alice," Bella asks, "can you try to see anything?" I nod and try to see. "Miranda is going to get angry that Pat's truck is still at the school," I comment, "and she'll insist they go out to dinner before going to collect it. As long as Esme keeps watch and they stay together, it should be ok." All heads nod in response.

We pull up to a small picnic area and pile out of Carlisle's car. We immediately begin sniffing the air. "This is going to suck," Emmett complains, "the werewolves smell human until they change." Carlisle thinks about it a moment. "Spread out…stay within hearing distance," he orders, "we're going to have to cover this whole lake area." I check my visions and groan. "We're not going to make it in time to save the humans," I say sadly, "the moon is up with my vision of finding of them." "What if we search the lake counter-clockwise?" Edward asks. I check again. "They'll have killed the humans and been gone," I reply. Edward groans. "We'll have to hurry."

Carlisle sticks closest to the lake, Edward furthest so he can keep tabs with his mind. I stick between Emmett and Bella. I look at the sky, noting the sun is beginning to go down. "We're not going to make it," I call out. "Keep searching," Carlisle calls back, "we have to try." I freeze as I'm overtaken by another vision. "They just killed one of the hostages," I call out, "the man…he tried to escape." "Keep moving," Edward calls out.

As soon as the moon is visible, we pick up the werewolf's scent. "Come together," Carlisle calls. We follow his orders. We hear the humans scream before we get to there. We're at the northernmost edge of the lake when we break into the clearing from my vision.

Carnage. That's the only word I can use to describe what I'm seeing. There are two werewolves feasting on body parts. Their hackles rise when they catch our scent. "Surround them," Carlisle calls out. We do as ordered. The two werewolves are just as ugly and horrifying as the one I saw attacking Pat. The wolves are back-to-back, trying to protect each other's blindside. Emmett breaks up that plan. He charges in on one of the werewolves, which leaps out to attack him. As soon as he charges Bella and Carlisle attack from each side. The fight is quick and brutal. I turn to the other one, who's trying to isolate Edward. As soon as he has its attention, I leap onto its back. I snap my head forward and take its head off at the neck. The body drops underneath me and Edward hurries in to help me tear it to pieces.

Bella begins building a fire and we all gather up the pieces. "Where is the third one?" Emmett yells. No one knows. "There's a trail to the south," Carlisle interjects, "let's clean up this scene and we'll begin to track it." "What about the humans?" Bella asks. Carlisle sighs. "We'll have to burn them too," he says sadly. There's not that much left. "We'll also have to dispose of anything else." I begin grabbing human body parts. "Hey," Emmett comments, "why doesn't this guy have a wallet?" I freeze. "None of them have any ID," Bella adds, "their pockets are empty." Carlisle freezes. "Could the third one have taken them?" Edward asks. I'm knocked to my knees again as a vision hits me.

_Miranda is driving. Pat is in the passenger's seat. They're in her car. The rest of Pat's family is crammed into the backseat of the car. Miranda makes a curve and a hand reaches through the window and grabs her by the neck tearing her throat out. All the women in the backseat scream and Pat tries to grab the wheel. He's unsuccessful and the car hits a tree at a high rate of speed. That wasn't a hand…it was a claw!_

I begin to sob uncontrollably. "We're too late," I wail. Edward yanks me to my feet. "Alice," he growls, "we have to move if we're going to save them." The other three are waiting on us to explain. "Bella," Edward orders, "stay here and take care of the scene. The third werewolf is going after Pat." He kisses her quickly. "Call Esme and tell her to be on alert." I continue to sob as we begin running back to the car. We're going to be too late.


	40. Chapter 39

(A/N This is the next to last chapter. Please review.)

**I don't own Twilight. Never have, never will.**

_CHAPTER 39-ALICE'S P.O.V._

I beat everyone, even Edward, to the Mercedes. I don't even ask, I get behind the wheel. Everyone, minus Bella, piles in as I start the car. Carlisle drove up here running about 150…I hit 180. "Drive it like you stole it Alice!" Emmett yells from the back seat. I know it's neither a joke nor sarcasm. Patrick is his friend like he is mine. It's like when Edward was dating Bella. Edward was Bella's number one protector…but I was a close second.

I blow through a speed trap at 180. With a black car with black tinted windows and no lights on the police don't even realize I've passed. At sixty miles per hour, you're covering a mile a minute. At 120 it's two miles a minute and at 180 it's three. "Call Esme," I call to whoever's listening, "she has to stall Pat." "How?" Emmett asks. I check my visions. Edward tenses up and puts a hand on the wheel while my vision is gone. "Tell her to let the air out of one of Miranda's tires," I suggest. I hear Carlisle on the phone. That won't stop them, but it might slow them down enough for us to get there in time. I check what would happen if she did them all, but the werewolf would just attack _and_ kill them all…including Esme…in the parking lot. I guess they're getting desperate.

Carlisle ends the call. "They just sat down to dinner," Carlisle informs us, "Esme is going to do what you asks." I nod, trying to will the Mercedes to go faster. The snow is starting to come down heavier. I check my visions. Shit. That doesn't change the vision of them getting Miranda. "I should've bought Pat a cell phone," I grumble. "Beat yourself up later," Emmett chimes in, "let's just save them first." Edward and I share a pointed look. Neither of us can see a way to save Miranda.

Edward dials a number on his phone and begins speaking to low and fast for me to keep up. I'm guessing he's calling Bella, but I can't tell. "I'm out of ideas," I comment, "anyone got any other suggestions?" "What's our status?" Carlisle asks. "At this rate, we're going to lose Miranda," I explain, "if we had disabled her car we would lose them all…including Esme." I curse. "I can't see what exactly's going to happen…only that Miranda is definitely a casualty. Everyone winces.

"They were working for the werewolves," Carlisle pipes up. Everyone turns to look at him. "Those humans that were used as bait were working for the werewolves," Carlisle explains, "I've seen the Volturi use the same trick. They trick humans into thinking they were going to change them and instead drinking them once they get them to do something they wanted." I hiss. "Patrick was betrayed by his own kind," I comment. "That and they killed a little girl to get what they want," Edward says gravely. I hiss again at that comment.

Carlisle's phone rings a little over an hour later. "They're leaving the diner now," Carlisle informs us. I step on the gas pedal harder. "Esme is following them." We're almost to the city limits. "Where do we go?" Emmett asks. "I'm going to start at Pat's house," I explain, "it's closer. Then we'll drive towards the diner and hopefully meet up with them." Everyone nods. I pass the dirt road leading to Pat's house. Here we go.

Remember the first night I followed Pat home? The night I was going to snatch him out of his house before Tori interrupted me? I was running through the woods and when Pat made a curve I ran straight across in the woods and cut him off to leap into the back of the truck. That's where the werewolf strikes. We make the curve and I lock the brakes just in time to keep from hitting Miranda's car. Esme is rolling on the ground around the werewolf. She had seen what was about to happen and tried to intercept it. I wince at the sight of the blood. Pat, his left leg bloody, is standing over his family with a tree branch in his hand like a club. His face is paler than mine is. Melanie is cradling Miranda's body in her lap and hugging Amber against her with her other arm. Amber is hugging Tori against her. Tori is screaming her head off. All of them are covered in a mixture of Miranda and Pat's blood.

Emmett and Edward don't hesitate. They immediately leap onto the werewolf, pulling it off Esme. I wince as Esme's arm comes off along with the werewolf. I leap into the fray and decapitate the werewolf on my own. Carlisle hurries to the family. One look into his eyes tells me we're too late. "Is it dead?" Pat asks in a shaky voice. "We got him," Emmett yells triumphantly. Pat gives a slow nod, drops the stick, and collapses into the snow.

Carlisle is instantly at his side. "He hit his head on the windshield when we wrecked," Amber says, her voice as shaky as Pat's was. "He has another concussion Alice," Carlisle says quickly. He then proceeds to rip the pants leg on Patrick's blood-soaked left leg. "I need my bag," he calls out. Edward retrieves it immediately. "I think I can put pressure on the wound and stop the bleeding," he says quickly, "though I don't know what kind of bone or muscle damage has been done to his knee." I snatch the bandage out of Carlisle's hand and apply the pressure myself. "I've got it Carlisle," I say quickly, "make sure they are ok." Carlisle gives me a quick look, then nods.

None of the other humans are seriously injured except Miranda. Carlisle then moves to Esme, helping to secure her arm to her shoulder with rolled gauze and tape. Her venom will repair it in a day or two. Bella comes in carrying a large bundle as I begin wrapping Pat's leg. "Alice," Edward says, "we're going to make sure no one thinks they survived." I give him a funny look. Bella then begins tossing body parts into the car. Carlisle takes Miranda out of Melanie's arms as Edward explains to her what we're doing. She looks shocked for a moment, then gives a slow nod. "It's the only way you and your children will be safe," Carlisle says gravely. "I can't watch," she whispers. He nods, then scoops her up and puts her in the car. "Get Pat loaded," Carlisle tells me, "then Esme."

I follow his orders. Pat is still unconscious. Esme's face is pale, but she gives me a grateful nod as I help her to the car. She cradles Pat against her chest with her good arm. I then go back for Amber and Tori. Tori isn't saying anything. "What are you?" Amber asks me in a scared voice. "Let's get somewhere safe," I reply, "then we'll explain everything." I then pick them both up and put them in the backseat next to Esme.

Carlisle then puts Miranda's body in the driver's seat of her car. Once she's set, Emmett pushes the car off the ravine. He's got it set up where it looks like the car hits the tree, bounces off, and went over the edge. Bella, who I didn't even notice was gone, has returned with a can of gasoline from the house. She jumps down the ravine with Emmett. It's less than a minute later that the car burst into flames. Carlisle drives off in his car while we make sure it burns completely. We don't want anyone's remains but Miranda's able to be identified.

I leave first, on foot. I can't stand it…I have to make sure Pat's ok. I burst into the house scaring Amber. Tori is asleep on one end of the sofa, Pat on the other. "Esme and Melanie told Amber what happened and what we are," Carlisle says as I come in the door. I nod. "Pat is sleeping," he continues, "he's had another concussion though I think he's going to be alright. Tori is simply in a state of shock." He turns back around. "You know what we have to do Alice," he says sadly. I nod in agreement.

I sit down next to Melanie. "You didn't see this Alice?" she asks in a sad voice. It's not an accusation. "Not until it was too late," I admit, "we had hoped by flattening one of her tires we could delay the attack." Melanie gives me an odd look. "I tried many different decisions," I continue, "and every one had either Miranda dying or everyone dying including Esme. We were hoping we could cut out response time but we knew we were cutting it close." Melanie gives me a sad nod. "Miranda would approve," she replies, "she would've rather the children survived." I grasp her hand firmly. "We still have to make you all safe," I explain. She nods again and takes a deep breath. "Tell me what we have to do," she says, steeling herself.

"I have you all new identities," I explain, "good one that no one can tell are forged. It's from the same guy we've used for decades. We're going to get you all cleaned up and drive you to Seattle. From there you will catch a plane to anywhere." I take a deep breath. "Go somewhere sunny," I continue, "somewhere a werewolf wouldn't think a coven of vampires would be hiding you. I also have you and Amber a new cell phone each along with some paperwork. The paperwork contains new credit cards, bank account information, and anything else I could think of to get you set up. You, Amber, and Tori can start all new lives. You can do anything you want anywhere you want. We want you to go somewhere you'll be safe."

She gives me a knowing look. "Pat isn't coming with us," she states. It was not a question. I shake my head. "If there are anymore werewolves, they will be after Pat's scent," I explain, "it's easier for us to protect just him. Pat will be taken care of and we will make sure he rejoins you as soon as it's safe." She bites her bottom lip. "And Tori?" she asks. "According to the documents, Tori is your birth daughter," I explain, "I made her several different birth certificates. I was preparing for any possible future. There's even one that says Pat's her father and Amber's her mother." Melanie nods. "We will also take care of Miranda's burial arrangements and get everything taken care of here." She nods. Bella, Edward, and Emmett come through the door. "It's finished," Edward says gravely. "How's Pat?" Bella asks. "The same," I reply. "If you're ready Melanie I can take you to your house and let you get each of you a change of clothes." Melanie nods and stands up. "You going to be ok here?" she asks Amber. Amber gives a slow nod. "I'm not afraid of them," she says weakly, "it's those other things that are going to give me nightmares."

Bella, Edward, and Melanie leave and I go to check on Patrick. Amber is asking vampire questions and Emmett is answering them. Carlisle is tending to Esme. My eyes begin burning as I take in Patrick unconscious on our couch. My heart breaks for him. Tonight he's lost everything. He's lost his family…his identity…and his home. I swear silently to him I will make it up to him to the best of my ability. I stroke his face gently, smoothing out his hair when he begins to mummer in his sleep. "Alice," Carlisle whispers from across the room, "Esme really needs to hunt so her arm will heal. Will you be alright here?" I nod. "Call my cell if something changes," he says as he helps Esme up. "Thank you," I whisper. Esme touches my face with her good hand. I grab it and squeeze, thanking her for her sacrifice.

Edward, Bella, and Melanie come back a few minutes later. "It appears the werewolf was hiding down the street in human form," Edward says, "that's why Esme didn't smell him. He was waiting in ambush right in the curve. He knew Pat would have to go home sooner or later and had planned to make it look like a car accident." Melanie grabs Amber's hand. "Go get showered," she tells her, "I've got you some clothes." Amber gives a slow nod. Bella offers to show her to the bathroom. "As soon as she gets upstairs," Melanie tells us, "I'm going to fill her in on the plan." We all nod. Melanie hugs all three of us, lingering on me. "Take care of him Alice," she whispers, "Miranda would want that."

As soon as they're gone I fetch the briefcase and get the necessary documents, removing Miranda's and any relating to Tori we won't need. I didn't tell Melanie my visions had me keeping Pat's separate. "Think that's enough cash?" I ask. Edward nods. "Between that and the credit cards," he replies, "they'll be fine till they can find somewhere to settle." "Are they going to be alright?" I ask. Edward nods. "Melanie's use to vampires," he continues, "and Amber is as tough as she is. Tori is young…and she's a Williamson." I smile at that. Edward pats my knee. "They're going to be fine," he promises, "we just have to get them out of here."

Emmett pulls up Esme's laptop and begins typing furiously. "We taking them to Boise or Seattle?" he asks. I check my visions. "Seattle," I decide, "we can get them there in time to catch a morning flight to a major airport." Emmett nods and begins checking flights. "Good call," he replies, "they'll have just enough time to get breakfast."

I got back and sit on the floor next to Pat. He's restless and I do my best to soothe him. Tori is also restless. This breaks my heart even more…knowing we're going to have to separate them. "Alice we need to hunt," Edward says in a low voice, "and so do you." "I'll go when Carlisle and Esme get back," I promise, "I don't want to leave Pat." He nods. "Emmett's going to run the perimeter," he continues, "and we'll be back as soon as possible…we're not going far." I nod absently. With that, they all file out of the door.

I break down as soon as they're out of hearing range, crying on Pat's chest. My Patrick has accomplished so much and lost so much more in one weekend. I cry because he's about to lose even more. I fight to not blame myself for his suffering. Had my family not interfered in his life, he would already be dead from the first werewolf. I sob hard, fighting to keep quiet so I don't wake him or Tori. I need him. I make all the jokes and the 'Bad Alice' comments about wanting him, but the honest truth is I _need_ him like I needed Jasper. I may even need him more now, considering he put me back together when Jasper died. I'm convinced Pat is the only reason I'm still existing. It's a small price to pay to do anything in my power to make sure he's ok.

Carlisle and Esme interrupt my sobbing. "I received a call while we were hunting," Carlisle tells me, "the car has been found. The police believe Miranda lost control of the vehicle, struck the tree, and ricocheted off and over the ravine. They of course remembered us for when Mr. Williamson died and asked if any of them was with us. I told them Pat was suppose to be spending time with his family and they now suspect Pat, along with the rest of his family, died in the car." I nod and continue to sob.

Esme, her arm fully attached but by no means fully functional, kneels down and wraps her good arm around me. "I'm sorry," I sob, "I didn't want you hurt." "Alice," she says sternly, "I would've squared off with that werewolf rather you asked or not. Pat is my child just like the rest of you." I lean against her and continue to sob." "Let it out Alice," she whispers, "you're going to have to be strong when he wakes up." I nod and continue to pour out my emotions against Esme. Edward, Bella, and Emmett return a short time later.

I look out when my siblings return to notice Melanie and Amber are back downstairs, showered and in fresh clothes. "Alice," Edward whispers, "maybe now you should go hunt so they can say their good-byes." I nod and absently wipe my eyes. Melanie hugs me as soon as I stand. "Thank you Alice,' she whispers, "circumstances being what they are…you and your family are the reason we're still alive." I hug her back and nod. Amber gives me a small smile and I smile back before turning and running out to hunt.

I ambush two elk less than five miles from the house and drink them as fast as my body can take their blood. Once finished I circle around back to the crash site, listening to the chatter. It's pretty much what Carlisle told me. The humans have called Carlisle and checked both Melanie and Pat's houses without finding anyone. They're starting to believe that the entire family died in the crash. I sniff the air, hoping I don't smell any new werewolf scents. I don't. I watch for about half an hour without learning any new information, then run back to the house.

Melanie and Amber have Tori awake, cleaned up, and dressed by the time I get back. Edward and Bella are going to drive them to Seattle. Pat is still out. "You guys remember the plan?" I ask. Melanie and Amber nod. "I just wish Pat was going with us," Amber says sadly. I bite my tongue at that comment. "Take care of him Alice," Melanie reminds me. I nod. Tori hugs Pat fiercely, though his body doesn't seem to register it. "Don't look for us," Edward explains to them, "we'll find you when it's safe. Trust us…it's what we do." I hug Amber and Melanie one more time and they're gone.


	41. Chapter 40

(A/N Well, this is the end. I'd like to thank those of you who read my first attempt at FF. Big shout-out to the handful of you that have reviewed. I can't lie...you were the reason I finished. Origionally this is where I was going to end it and finish Patrick and Alice's story in the sequel. However, I don't know now what I'm going to do with it. I haven't gotten any reviews or PM's that say my writing sucks, so I'm going to assume that's not the reason behind the lack of traffic. I knew when I wrote this that killing Jasper and putting Alice with another character would be difficult. My next project will be a FF for Leah Clearwater because, simply put, she got fucked by SM and I think it's time she got a little happiness. If there are any questions about this story I have a Q/A on my profile that might answer your questions. I'll also do a Q/A for my Leah story soon. I'll probably take a few days to get my thoughts together before I begin. Again, thank you to those that reviewed and I'm crossing my fingers you'll tag along with me into my next story.)

**After 40 chapters, I do not own Twilight.**

_CHAPTER 40-ALICE'S P.O.V._

Edward and Bella called just after sunrise. The humans had for the most part slept the entire ride and were getting breakfast. After they ate they were going to take them to the airport and get them on the first plane to any major airport. Emmett ran the perimeter till dawn with no signs of werewolves. Esme's gained a little movement in her arm, though it would be at least till this evening before it was fully healed. Carlisle received another call from the police warning him that the Williamson family was presumed dead.

And Patrick didn't wake up.

Around eight Edward called to tell us Melanie, Amber, and Tori got on their plane with no problems. The documents worked to perfection. They were flying to Denver and from there to Minneapolis/St. Paul for a one-hour layover. From there they would fly to Atlanta-Hartsfield. Of course Edward and Bella didn't know where they would go from there, but that was the point. They would probably get a hotel room for the night and decide where to go in the morning. Edward mentioned he suggested they buy a laptop so they could have access to buying tickets online as well as for access to the banking information I'd told them. Esme also moved Patrick into my room.

And Patrick didn't wake up.

Carlisle checked on Pat as soon as he was moved. "Everything is checking out," he tells me, "I think between the concussion and the emotional trauma his body just shut down to protect itself." I kept vigil by his bedside, not speaking. "He'll wake up soon," Carlisle promises, "when he's ready." I nod without taking my eyes off of Patrick. Esme went to hunt again to help her arm heal. Emmett went with her.

And Patrick didn't wake up.

Carlisle called me downstairs right before noon. Edward and Bella were back. The police were there also. They came to inform us that Miranda, Patrick and Tori Williamson along with Melanie and Amber Jones were killed last night in a car accident not far from Pat's house. They explained how they found only a handful of bones, just enough they could tell the approximate age and gender of who they belonged to. There was enough of Miranda to identify her through dental records. The gas tank, almost full, exploded when the car caught fire, which explained the incineration. I sobbed when they told me this. It wasn't an act. All I had to do is remember how close I came to losing him and the sobbing begins. Esme, careful to hide her arm, comforts me while Carlisle asks the pertinent questions. Neither had any family other than the ones in the accident, so the homes and contents would be sold in probate. Carlisle thanks the officers as they leave.

And Pat still didn't wake up.

I check my visions around mid afternoon to see Pat will wake up around dinnertime. I pass this information to Esme. Edward and Bella went shopping for him some food. I only leave his bedside to deal with the police. It's not like I could invite them up. I told Pat everything. I told Pat how much I loved him and how he was the best thing that ever happened to me. I told him he had to wake up soon so I could hug him and kiss him and love him like I always want to. I promise I will spend the rest of my existence making this up to him if he'll just wake up.

Patrick finally opens his eyes around six. "Hey," I say sweetly. "Hey," he croaks back. "You ok?" I ask. He shakes his head and I frown. "Water?" he croaks. I hurry to the bathroom and get him a glass. I help him sit up and he sips it slowly. "Thank you," he says weakly. I touch his cheek. "How's your head?" I ask. "Fucking killing me," he admits. I nod. "Feel like eating?" I ask. He shrugs. "In a minute," he replies, "first tell me what happened."

So I do. He remembers everything so I fill in the blanks as far as what happened after he collapsed again. I tell him of Miranda's death, though deep down he knew it already. I told him about bringing Melanie, Amber, and Tori here and the plans we made. I tell him about Edward and Bella driving them to Seattle so they could get away. I tell him about why he's still here. To protect them.

Lastly I tell him his options. I tell him that he now has a new identity. Patrick Williamson is dead. I tell him that as soon as he's feeling up to it we will sit down as a family and make whatever plans he wants. I let him know that I love him and will be there as long as he wants me. I tell him that he can have anything. He can go anywhere, do anything, and live anywhere. The only thing I can't give him back is his mom and his identity.

I pull him to my chest as he cries. I've only seen him cry once…when Pops died. After all he's been through I feel it's long overdo. I bite my bottom lip and sob right along with him. My heart breaks for this boy…my boy. No one disturbs us as he sobs against my chest. "I'll do anything," I whisper, "anything to make sure you're ok." He doesn't answer. He never breaks his sobs.

I start to get worried as his goes from sobbing to hysterical and I realize he's breaking down. "Pat," I whisper, "I'm here. I don't know if it's enough…but I'm here." He doesn't answer with words, but puts his arm around my waist and pulls me tighter against him. "You saved me Pat," I whisper, "in my darkest hour you brought me back. When I'd hit rock bottom you showed me I could live again. I'm going to make you safe, then I'm going to show you that you can live again." His sobbing slows, though I can feel tears still soaking my shirt. "Believe in me Pat," I continue, "even if you don't believe in you right now…believe in me." To my surprise, he nods.

"It should've been me," he chokes out. "No," I correct, "Pat I swear my family and I tried every possible means of making sure you and your family survive. There was no other way…it was either we put Miranda at risk or your whole family…and Esme…died."

He's silent for several minutes. "Are you sure Alice?" he croaks. "I'm sure Pat," I assure him, "we tried everything. Esme lost her arm trying to stop that werewolf." He sits up quickly. "She's fine," I assure him, "she's healing now. Vampires can lose a limb and it will reattach." He nods and slumps back down. "So everyone thinks I'm dead," he comments. I nod. "What happens now?" he asks. "We kept you separate from the rest of your family just in case there are more werewolves," I explain, "that way your scent wouldn't put them in danger. They're going to hide. Don't worry…we made sure they were provided for." Pat nods absently. "So I'm stuck here?" he asks. I inhale, then nod. "For a little while," I admit, "we haven't discussed it but my family will have to play the part of the grieving family with the daughter grieving over her boyfriend." He nods. "I need to piss," he comments before standing up.

Patrick's left leg gives out and he hits the ground as soon as he stands. "Shit," he groans. Carlisle is the first up the stairs and gives him a quick exam. "You've done some serious damage to your knee," Carlisle inform him, "until the cuts heal I can't put you in plaster. You need this surgically repaired, but we can't just check you into a hospital." Pat's face is white again. "I'm going to clean and suture this wound, then we're going to get your cleaned up. After that, you need to eat." "It hurts like a son-of-a-bitch," Pat hisses. It must hurt…Pat never curses in front of Carlisle or Esme. "I know," Carlisle says, trying to soothe him, "I'll make sure you have a good supply of painkillers also." He helps Patrick stand. "You'll need to eat before you get any pain medication…or else you could get nauseous." Patrick nods in agreement.

Patrick lies on the bed and I hold his hand while Carlisle puts thirty-eight stitches in his leg from the bottom of his thigh, across his kneecap, and down his shin. "I'll put you in a cast in a week or so," Carlisle informs him, "until then I don't want you to walk on it anymore than you have to." Patrick nods. "Can you handle a shower?" I ask. Again he nods. "I'll leave you to it then," Carlisle says, standing up. "Esme is going to make you some supper." "Thanks Carlisle," Pat replies, "and I'm sorry." Carlisle frowns. "Son, you're the one that's lost so much," he replies, "we are glad to do whatever we can and wish we could do more." He pats Patrick on the shoulder and leaves the room.

I get a black trash bag and help Pat tape it around his leg. "You going to help me?" Patrick asks. "You told Carlisle you could handle it," I reply, smiling. He rolls his eyes. "If my choice is him or nothing, I'll do it alone," he explains, "if it's you on the other hand…" he lets it drop. I smile. "I'll be good Alice," he declares, "I just kind of want the closeness." I peck him on the lips. "You got it," I reply.

I know I didn't want us both naked till the night we make love, but this was worth breaking that pledge. I bathed Patrick, taking my time to clean off every speck of dried blood. In the process, I helped clean his soul. Afterwards Pat pushed me against the shower wall and kissed me. I moaned as his harness pressed against my stomach. He guided one of my legs so that it was propped against the wall-mounted rail and ran his finger around my center. He leaned in close, licking my ear as his finger parted me before finding my clit. He was slow and gentle, my gentle panting seeming to ease his troubled mind. I let him move at his own pace, content that I would reach my climax in good time. I wasn't disappointed. Even my orgasm was gentle, not the forceful plunge that usually follows. He seemed calm the entire time, pleased that I was satisfied. I reached for him, planning on returning the favor but he was having nothing of it. "Not now," he whispers in my ear, "give me some time." I pout, but he only kissed my jutted out bottom lip before getting out to dry off.

He dresses in shorts and a sweatshirt, his stitches angrily displayed on his leg. I carry him down the steps. Esme was the first to hug him as soon as I placed him on the couch. She sobbed unashamed on his arm and continued to repeat "my poor boy". Pat did his best to soothe her, but his eyes were watering with the effort. No one said anything about it…not even Emmett. Afterwards, it was Bella's turn. Bella even sobbed. To my surprise, Edward didn't move to comfort her…he let her and Patrick have their moment. "You're one of us Patrick," she whispers before letting him go, "please don't forget that." He nods and wipes his eyes.

Esme made him chicken and dumplings. It was a recipe she got from Miranda. Pat ate little, but he did eat. I notice Edward giving Emmett a dirty look while Pat was eating, but nothing was said. After his meal, Emmett passes him a can of Copenhagen. I don't respond, though Pat gives him a grateful smile. I do get him a bottle though. Carlisle calls a family meeting and Emmett carries Pat to the dining room.

"We have another dilemma," Carlisle begins, "I'll let Emmett tell you since he was the one to discover it." All eyes turn to him. "Earlier today," Emmett begins, "I went to Pat's house to make sure everything was ok and to maybe get him some items. While I was there, I smelled a stranger's scent." A low growl rumbles through my chest. "I gathered up a few things," Emmett continues, "and made sure the safe as well as all the doors and windows were locked. While I was checking the windows, I noticed someone watching the house. I didn't recognize them." Emmett pauses to let this sink in. "I know I wasn't seen…I was moving too fast," he goes on, "and I went in the back door. However, the stranger's scent was close to the house and too fresh to be from last night before the attack. To sum it up: I think there's another werewolf watching to make sure Pat is really dead." Emmett leans back and crosses his arms across his chest.

"The question now is: what do we do?" Carlisle says. "While we would know if a human was watching us…or a werewolf…if Pat is here during the next full moon a werewolf could rush the property, get a whiff of his scent, and run out before we could stop him. That would mean Pat wouldn't be hidden. Since his family is gone…and safe…the werewolf…or werewolves…are going to go to where Pat would most likely be if he were alive. That means either his house or with us."

Pat lays his head on the table and groans. "I thought we were home free," he grumbles. "So did I," I admit, "but I can't see the werewolves when they transform." Everyone is quiet for several moments. "We have to get Pat out of here," Bella says quietly. Everyone except Pat and me nod in agreement. "Where though?" Esme asks. "I mean, we can't let him go alone. And just like when James was tracking Bella, Alice can't go with him just like Edward couldn't go with her…it would give him away." "There's also keeping up appearances with the humans," Carlisle says, rubbing his temples, "though that's not as big a concern as Pat's safety."

"I know where he can go," Edward chimes in, "the safest place I can think of." Him and Bella share a moment of silent communication. "La Push," Edward explains. I grit my teeth. "Think about it Alice," Edward explains, "they wouldn't look for Pat there…and the pack could protect him if they did." "Where's La Push?" Pat asks. "Where our daughter lives," Bella replies. "Pat can go to La Push and we can finish out the school year," Edward suggests, "then we can 'go away to college' and Pat and Alice can then be together. After that long a time period, the humans will be satisfied and the werewolves should believe Pat's dead and lose interest." I hate it, but it makes sense. "Could I visit?" I ask. Bella nods. "We could always say we're visiting cousin Nessie," Bella replies, "it's believable." "I wouldn't right away," Carlisle adds, "but if we do it when there's no full moon we should be fine."

I turn to Pat, who's staring a hole in the table. "What do you think Pat?" I ask. He shrugs. "I don't like any of our options," he admits, "but I'd rather be away for a little while than be away from you forever." I grab his hand and give it a gentle squeeze. "I don't like it either," I admit, "but I want you alive." He nods. "Then its settled," Carlisle says, "as soon as I can put a cast on Pat's leg, we'll sneak him to La Push." Bella stands up. "I'm going to call Jake," she tells us. "Can I get some stuff from my house?" Pat asks. Esme reaches into a drawer and passes him a legal pad and a pen. "Make a list," she replies, "and we'll make sure you get it." "Just be sure it's not something that would be easily missed," Edward warns, "like your truck for instance." Patrick nods and beings writing.

This sucks, but there's nothing I can do about it. I have to sit here, play the grieving girlfriend, and hope we can either wipe out the werewolves or they lose interest. I pass Pat his new ID. He looks it over. "Patrick Brandon?" he asks. I nod. "It was my last name when I was human," I reply, "I hope it's ok." He grins. "It has a nice ring to it," he admits, "it'll be just fine." I slide him two credit cards also. "You have access to the family accounts," I reply, "and we'll get you a vehicle as soon as you get to La Push." He nods. "You don't have to," he replies. "I _want_ to," I fire back, "this is going to be hard enough Pat…let me ease it for you as much as possible." His shoulders slump as he relents.

Patrick finishes his list and passes it to Emmett. Emmett reads it over quickly. "Nothing I can't handle," he promises, "though it'll take me more than one trip." Patrick nods. I don't even look at the list. I don't care to be honest with you. "Get some sleep Patrick," Carlisle suggests, "as soon as your stitches come out, I'm going to cast your leg." Once that's done we'll have to get your out of here so your scent won't be fresh by the next full moon." Pat nods. I help him to his feet, then carry him upstairs.

I lay him flat, then straddle him to give him a long, deep kiss. He accepts eagerly. "Are you ok?" I ask. He looks me dead in the eye and I bite my lip at the visible hurt there. "I _will_ be," he admits, "I'm not now though." I hear someone coming up the stairs and I dismount him. It's Emmett. "Carlisle sent these," he says, rattling a bottle of pain medication. "Thanks," Patrick says with an easy smile. "I also got this from your house," Emmett says with a twinkle in his eye as he pulls an unopened bottle of bourbon from his back, "it was stashed in Pop's liquor cabinet. I remember hearing you the other night wishing you had a rip to help you sleep." "I'm changing your name to Saint Emmett," Patrick says with a grin. "Glad I can help," Emmett says with a wink before leaving.

Patrick takes two pills and chases it with two swallows of whiskey. "That going to make me unkissable?" he asks. I shake my head. Nothing would make him unkissable right now. I straddle him again, savoring the kiss even if he does have a faint taste of bourbon. "Now it's my turn," I say with a twinkle as I grind against his hardness, "I'm going to do this and then you're going to sleep." He starts to protest but I lay a finger on his lips, shushing him. "Please Pat," I say softly, "we don't have much time left." "Let me ease your hurt while I can." He lays back and relents as I lower my head to take him in my mouth.

I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know if the werewolves are going to give up or if the Cullen family will get the chance to avenge Miranda for Patrick. I only know this human boy has made me whole again. I will do anything to be the one to heal him. Patrick is mine and I am his. We will get through this. We have to.

While I'm not completely comfortable with this, I know Pat will be safe in La Push. Jake will see to that. I can't lose Patrick. One heartbreak in an existence is enough. This love…like my love for Jasper…isn't easy. I don't think it's supposed to be. I just know I need him safe. I need Patrick.


	42. final AN

A/N Only!

Thank you all for reading/reviewing "History Repeating Itself". That was my first FF and the first time I've ever let strangers read my writing. It was nerve-wracking, but seeing reviews in my inbox really helped calm those nerves.

On my profile is a poll on who's P.O.V. you'd like to see the sequel done it. Three choices: Pat, Alice, or both…nothing tricky. Please vote. Also on my profile is Q/A's for both "History Repeating Itself" and my new story about Leah Clearwater called "Trusting The Magic". I will be posting chapter 1 today. Hope y'all check it out! Thanks again for your support, I'm crossing my fingers about my next story.


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